Cruise Ship Cozy Mysteries 04 - Beauty Queens and Cruises

by A. R. Winters

  “Sam, Adrienne, you two are going to be helping run a beauty pageant!” Kelly clapped her hands together, giving herself a small round of applause. Tentatively, Sam and I joined in, though I couldn’t say that the prospect of working with the two people I had just met immediately filled me with excitement.

  “Cool! Are we judging?” Sam asked with excitement in her eyes.

  “No!” said Autumn and Martin together. “We are the judges,” Autumn clarified.

  “Us two and one other person,” said Martin, the resentment in his voice barely concealed. As he spoke, he turned and pointedly looked at a poster board which had been set up. I had been paying so much attention to Autumn and Martin earlier that I hadn’t even noticed it.

  On the board was a large poster announcing the very first Swan beauty pageant cruise. I could now see that the two people I’d already met were featured prominently on the board as judges, but not as prominently as one other. There was a lady at the top wearing an opulent tiara and the same waxy smile of every beauty queen there ever was.

  “I had to invite her. She’s Diana Penn,” said Autumn with an almost reverential tone, indicating the person in question was virtually above reproach. Just to make it perfectly clear, she turned to catch my eye. “That’s the Diana Penn.”

  She earned a polite but bemused smile from me in response. Martin, however, was not done.

  “I know, but after all of our history...” Martin was shaking his head to himself in sad reminiscence.

  Kelly sensed the mood and decided to interrupt before they could start arguing again. She was definitely not a fan of conflict—hence her running out the room when they started fighting earlier.

  “We have three fantastic judges for the best beauty pageant that’s ever been held!” she announced brightly, interrupting their discussion.

  The two of them exchanged skeptical glances again. It didn’t look like they believed it would be the greatest beauty pageant ever held. But perhaps it could be the greatest beauty pageant ever held on a Swan ship, organized by Kelly Cline.

  It would certainly be the best beauty pageant that I had ever been involved in.

  “Now, Adrienne and Samantha, you two are going to be Swan’s hands-on, go-getting organizers, managers, promoters, hostesses, and stars.” Kelly stopped until we’d both given her excited smiles in response. “The two of you are going to make sure this whole thing goes off without a hitch. I know everything will turn out great!”

  I looked over at Sam to see what she thought of all of this. I found my friend to be nodding enthusiastically. She was actually excited to be dropped into the middle of a surprise beauty pageant. I supposed I’d have to make the best of it all.

  “The good news is,” continued Kelly, “everything has been arranged. I’ve booked the stages, the entertainment department will be doing the lighting and sound, we’ve got dressing rooms set up for the girls—it’s just going to be a matter of sticking to the schedule like the eager beavers you are!”

  The two judges and Sam all seemed to be pleased with what Kelly was saying so far, and I found myself beginning to come around. Maybe it would be fun meeting the pageant girls and having a little look into a world I’d never been a part of.

  “Seeing as this cruise is a week-long cruise, the beauty pageant will also extend over the course of the week. Events will be spread out during the cruise, with the winner being announced the night before we return to New Orleans. I’ve got your schedules and all the information you’ll need ready for you.” Kelly reached into a desk drawer and pulled out two folders, one labeled “Sam,” the other labeled “Adrienne.” We took the folders from her, with eagerness on Sam’s part but some doubt on my own.

  Our now fairly calm meeting was interrupted by a knock on the door.

  “Come in!” said Kelly with her usual brightness. She stared at the door expectantly, while the rest of us looked over our shoulders.

  The door swung open and another immaculately dressed, coiffed, and polished middle-aged man entered.

  “My dear, my light, my love!” said the man breathlessly as he spotted Autumn and made his way over to her, eyes wide and a delighted smile on his lips.

  “Hello, dear,” said Autumn, rising from her seat and exchanging a kiss with the man. After, he stood behind her, draping his arms over her shoulders.

  “You’re here! Glad to see you, Rolf.” Martin stood up and turned to the newcomer. “I want to get your opinion on something.”

  The rest of us watched on, curious as to what was going to happen. Martin walked over to the poster and was holding his finger up to the crowned woman at the top. “Look at this. Diana. Can you believe it!”

  Rolf raised his hands to his cheeks and his skin seemed to blanch. He turned to look at his wife, his mouth now open in an expression of complete shock. She briefly rolled her eyes.

  “Oh, her? I had to invite her, didn’t I? She is Diana, after all.”

  Rolf let his hands fall to his sides in another overdramatic act

  “But after all the trouble she’s caused us over the years...”

  “All water under the bridge now, dear,” said Autumn with a little shake of her head and a laugh. “You boys have memories like elephants.”

  I winced a little at hearing her call the two grown men “boys.” Once men were in their fifth or sixth decade of life, calling them boys no longer felt right to me. My father certainly wasn’t a boy.

  “And anyway, my love,” said Autumn, squeezing her husband’s arm. “If it wasn’t for Diana, I never would’ve found you, my one true love.”

  “Light of my life,” said Rolf to his wife. He wiped a tear away from his cheek with the back of one hand.

  They were being so sweet to each other that I wanted to retch. I didn’t think people really talked like that. But apparently, some people did.

  “Now,” said Kelly while she tapped a stack of papers on the desk to get everyone’s attention back on her. “Should we go over the schedule? As we have a whole week, nothing is packed together too tightly. You can really go to town and enjoy yourself at each of the events.”

  Autumn, Rolf, and Martin all seemed very pleased at this.

  “Yes, I’m really looking forward to that aspect of it,” said Martin with a firm nod to himself. “Usually, these things seem so rushed.”

  The other two beauty pageant experts nodded and made agreeable sounds.

  “Right, if you would all take a look at the schedule for day one...”

  Dutifully, we looked down at our schedules while Kelly started to go through it all, day by day and hour by hour.

  My mind began to drift as they got involved in the particulars. This was going to be another busy cruise, and it was all about to kick off very shortly.

  Chapter 3

  A n hour or so later, Kelly, Sam, and I had made our way to the little area known as the pool deck. This wasn’t where the massive Lagoon Pool was located, but a smaller, quieter outdoor swimming pool that occasionally was used for special events.

  We had last used it during a murder mystery event, and today was going to be another one of those “occasional” days.

  According to the schedule that Kelly had so recently handed us, we were to do a meet and greet with the pageant contestants. They would mingle with each other, we would get to meet them, and then Autumn would give some kind of rousing welcome speech to encourage them all.

  It was with some trepidation that I mentally prepared myself for meeting so many beautiful people at once. It wasn’t so much what they looked like that had me on edge, but it was the fact that those kinds of girls—the beautiful, popular ones—hadn’t exactly been my friend group back in high school.

  “What do you think they’re like?” asked Sam, nudging me, just before we exited the interior of the ship.

  “I’m sure they’ll all be very sweet.” Of course I didn’t really believe that.

  “Maybe,” said Sam dubiously. “I bet they’re all stuck-up rich girl
s with too much makeup and walk-in closets the size of our houses.”

  I nudged her back and gave her a stern look. We shouldn’t speak badly about our guests and customers. Even the stuck-up ones with huge houses.

  “Here we are!” said Kelly with enthusiasm as she led us outside. She twirled around like a little green whirlwind with her arms outstretched as she revealed the pool deck and its collection of beauty queens.

  We stopped to stare. There were nearly two dozen people scattered around the edges of the swimming pool, and almost every single one of them seemed to be in a carefully constructed pose of some kind. Almost all of them seemed to be holding a smartphone out in front of them with one hand, taking selfie after selfie.

  “Let’s go and meet everyone!” said Kelly brightly. “They look nice, don’t they?”

  “They look very well proportioned, and very well made up,” I said with as much enthusiasm as I could muster.

  No need to be nervous, I told myself. You graduated high school more than a decade ago. And these girls were different, anyway. Cornridge, Nebraska didn’t make people like this.

  “I bet our other passengers would love pictures of them,” said Kelly, pointedly looking down at my Swan-issued smartphone, which I was clutching in my right hand.

  “Yeah!” I held up the phone with forced enthusiasm and put on a happy smile. “Let’s meet...”

  “... and greet!” finished Sam for me.

  With a gulp, we approached the pool area and split up. I locked onto my first target, a tiny blonde girl standing on top of a sun lounger.

  Letting Sam and Kelly walk off to do their own mingling, I approached the young lady. She had one arm outstretched and was snapping a picture of herself with the pool behind her and various other contestants beyond that.

  “Hi!” I said brightly. “I’m Adrienne!”

  She lowered her phone-holding hand and smiled at me with bright white teeth that seemed entirely too big for her small head. As I closed the distance between us, I realized I was the exact same height as her—when she was standing atop the sun lounger.

  “Kimberly Dawson,” she said in a slow, drawn out, singsong voice.

  “Could I get a picture of you?” I held up my phone and nodded at it. As the social media manager, my biggest task was finding interesting things to take pictures of throughout each day and then sharing them on our ship’s various social media feeds.

  “Why of course you can, darling,” she said, managing to speak and keep her giant smile fixed in place the entire time. “That’ll be just ten dollars.”

  I was already holding up the phone when she first said yes, but I found myself lowering it back down again as she finished what she was saying.

  “Oh, no—you see, I’m the ship’s social media manager. I’m here to promote you all.”

  “Oh, you should have said,” she said slowly. “I thought you were just another one of my fans. A social media manager, huh? That’s some job you’ve got.”

  With a happy nod, I smiled back at her.

  “Thanks. I’ll just snap a quick one of you from down here, with the blue sky above you. I’m sure it’ll look great.”

  I crouched down and Kimberly shifted her pose with the skill of a practiced pro. She lowered her jaw, tilted her head, opened her eyes extra-wide and beamed down at me. With the bright blue sky behind, her blonde hair seemed to almost glow like a yellow halo around her cheeks while I took a couple of pictures.

  “How many followers do you have?” she asked when I stood back up.

  “Oh, thousands,” I said with some pride. The number of people following our feeds jumped up with the new batch of passengers each cruise. And of course there were all the people at home who were just fans of cruising in general who followed along, even if they never actually went on one.

  Kimberly’s smile faltered slightly. “I have one million two hundred and eighty-four thousand, give or take a few hundred.”

  With a gulp, I stared at her, not sure if she was serious or teasing me. After a couple of seconds I realized that, no, she was in fact telling the truth.

  “Wow. That’s a lot,” I said with a little shake of my head in amazement.

  “Not really. Some of the other girls have twice that many. Maybe I’ll get you some new followers today!”

  “Yes, I hope so! See you around!”

  Quickly hurrying away, I tried to console myself. Swan’s passengers tended to trend to older demographics, as did almost all cruise lines. Older people weren’t into social media as much, I told myself. That was why that young lady I’d never heard of was so much more successful on social media. Swan’s customers were simply a different market.

  Trying not to feel dejected, I took a couple of panoramic pictures around the pool area while I searched for another target. Hopefully one who wouldn’t make me feel so small in comparison. It seemed particularly unfair since I’d been so much taller than that tiny little beauty queen. It didn’t seem right that she could make me feel small.

  On the far side of the pool, I could see young Shaun Anderson, one of the ship’s pool boys. He was simultaneously trying to unstack some sun loungers while keeping a careful eye on Sam. He had a crush on her, but she maintained an air of obliviousness around him, completely ignoring the lovesick-puppy attention he paid her.

  Sam herself was talking to Rolf, the husband of Autumn who we had met in Kelly’s office.

  Kelly was about fifty yards away from me, standing and talking to Greg Washington, one of the ship’s cooks. He was currently standing by a food cart, which was laden with almost-untouched snacks. Most of the pageant girls seemed to be consuming bottled water and nothing else.

  Then someone else caught my eye. Hot Stuff—I mean, Ethan Lee, the ship’s first officer. We’d been on a couple of dates, which had gone well, but it hadn’t progressed much further.

  Ethan raised a hand in my direction and gave me a wave. With a happy smile, I waved back.

  There were a few roadblocks between me and Ethan as a potential item, so I wasn’t in a rush to hurry over—not until I’d decided where I was at.

  The first problem was that I had discovered a beautiful ring in a box inside his office during the previous cruise. While he certainly didn’t seem like the kind of man to have a ‘girl in every port,’ I didn’t have any explanation for it either. I couldn’t help but wonder who it was for, and if it was for another woman, why he’d been dating me.

  Of course I hadn’t actually asked him about it. I’d sort of been snooping around when I found the box, and I didn’t want him to think I was the kind of person who went snooping around.

  My eyes left Ethan when a murmuring seemed to develop among the gathered contestants.

  Eyes lifted, attention shifted, and feet shuffled as people were drawn to something behind me. For a second, I began to smile, believing that word had gotten around about me being the social media manager, and they were all looking to attract my attention.

  Yeah, right.

  It was someone else they were looking at. Someone behind me.

  Before I turned around to see who it was, I realized that of the people on the other side of the pool, not all of them were reacting the same way.

  Martin Wood (the Martin Wood), the judge I’d met earlier had a somber look on his face, a kind of angry frown as he stared behind me.

  Near him, Rolf broke off his conversation with Sam abruptly, turning and heading toward one of the entrances to the interior of the ship. Closer to me, near the right-hand side of the pool, Autumn Meadows raised a dainty hand into the air and gave a little wave behind me. She immediately started to walk around the pool, sashaying her hips with every step like she was on a catwalk. Or a beauty pageant stage.

  My curiosity now reaching its peak, I turned around to see the center of attention. After the meeting in our office, I was pretty sure I could guess who it was going to be though: the Diana Penn.

  The woman in question was stunningly beautiful, and the fact
that she was literally wearing a crown made me feel as if I was looking at an actual princess.

  She was wearing an elegant blue dress, a sash across her torso with the name Diana Penn written across it, and she was walking with an even more perfected sashay than Autumn, who she was now heading toward.

  The two women were both walking in high heels, and as they approached I couldn’t help but imagine them as two stately cruise ships approaching each other. When their bows met, they greeted each other with well-practiced fake delight.

  Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah.

  They each air-kissed the other several inches from their counterpart’s cheek in the noisiest air kissing I’d heard yet. I was pretty sure everyone on the pool deck could hear it. This seemed appropriate, since almost everyone on the pool deck was staring at them anyway.

  While they were greeting each other, I managed to get a couple of decent pictures of the two former beauty queens interacting, which I was sure would be well-received by our guests. Hopefully some of the contestants would share them with their followers too. That would really boost our numbers.

  With much less swagger in my sashay than they had, I walked over to the pair of them like a normal person instead of a model or a beauty queen. They were already talking.

  “It’s been so long!”

  “Too long!”

  “Much too long!”

  “Far too long!”

  “You don’t look a year older!”

  “It’s only been six months.”

  The two of them separated and stood back from each other, arms-length apart as they really stared at one another, like they were examining an object and hoping to find some imperfections.

  “It’s exciting, isn’t it?” said a slow, sultry voice beside me.

  Surprised, I turned to see another one of the pageant contestants standing next to me. She was taller than me and had almost been whispering in my ear while she spoke.

  “The start of a cruise is always exciting,” I said with a smile.