Always Wanting (Consumed, Book One 1)

by Alex Grayson

  This is going to be a very long fucking night.

  I’m sitting on a chair in Abby’s room, naked, with my dick in hand, slowly stroking. My other hand is gripping the arm of the chair to keep me rooted down so I don’t spring forward to the tempting sight before me. Abby is sitting on the bed, back against the headboard, legs spread wide, with two fingers shoved in her gleaming wet pussy, while her thumb rubs her clit. The look she has in her hooded eyes as she watches me is downright dirty and carnal. I know mine carry the same look. She’s pinching one of her nipples and every few minutes, she licks her lips. Her blonde hair is swept up on top of her head, and I can see a fine sheen of sweat covering her skin. I swear, every time I see her she becomes even sexier than the last time, and it’s taking every bit of strength I have not to jump her right now.

  She’s my greatest temptation and my strongest weakness.

  “How close are you, Abby?” I can barely get the words out through my dry throat.

  My balls have drawn up, and I’ve been ready to explode for the past five minutes. It’s a beautiful kind of torture, because I want to watch her all night as she plays with her pretty pussy, but I also know I’ll go out of my fucking mind if I have to watch much longer. I’m holding off my own orgasm by pure force of will, because there is no way in hell I’m finding my release before she finds hers.

  She licks her fucking lips again, and the wood beneath the arm of the chair creaks as my grip tightens. I swear she has to be doing this shit on purpose. She has to know how close to the edge I am. She even has an evil gleam in her eyes now. And she still hasn’t answered my damn question.

  On my upward stroke, my thumb grazes the underside of the head of my cock, and I give a deep groan, just barely holding onto the edge by a hair.

  “Abby,” I growl. “How fucking close are you?”

  Instead of answering me, she fucking pulls her fingers from her pussy and puts them to her lips, slowly slipping them inside with a damn smirk on her face.

  Yeah, the tease knows just what she’s doing. And she obviously wants me to lose it before she does. What I don’t know is if she’s wanting me to give in and pounce on her, something I refuse to do even if it kills me, or just give in and have my orgasm before her.

  “Fucking hell,” I groan, unable to hold back any longer. My ab muscles tighten and my jaw clenches as my release lands on my stomach.

  As soon as my orgasm hits, Abby’s hand goes back to her pussy and she pushes in three fingers with one hand and attacks her clit with the other. It’s literally seconds later and she’s shouting out her own release. I will never, even if we were given a thousand years together, get enough of seeing her face when she hits the crescendo of her orgasm. She looks beautiful all the time, but when she’s reaching her peak, nothing beats the utter bliss she carries on her face.

  I grab my shirt from the floor and quickly wipe off my stomach and hand. I’ll take a shower later. Right now, the need to hold her is something that won’t be ignored.

  Instead of crawling into bed and snuggling up behind her, I crawl between her legs and rest my head against her chest, right on her breasts. The thump thump of her rapid heartbeat meets my ears. Her legs go around my waist and her hands go to my hair, while I wrap my arms around her between the mattress and her back. We lay that way for several minutes.

  “Do you think it’ll work?” she asks quietly, running her fingers through my hair.

  I kiss the skin between her breasts, before resting a hand there and putting my chin on top so I can look up at her.

  “I don’t know, but I think it’s worth a try. We’ve had success so far.”

  Fortunately, our experiment a week ago once again only left her with mild cramps. We were able to go all night without having to have sex, which was a double edged sword because we both wanted to have sex, but had to hold off to see if it actually worked. It was a struggle that was damn near too hard.

  We’re taking a big chance with this one though. Abby’s tried self-induced orgasms in the past with no luck, but it was still something I wanted to try. She was reluctant at first because of her past experiences with it, but she finally gave in. I’ll be here all night, so if it doesn’t work, I can take care of her needs the traditional way.

  Abby smiles down at me and the world around us brightens. My fucking heart flutters and my arms tighten around her. Abby’s addiction may be sex, and I’m fine with that, because I know in my heart that she’ll never stray, even if there is a time I can’t be with her. Her heart belongs to me and mine belongs to her. When two people love each other as deeply as we do, there’s no force on earth that can tear that apart.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Abby

  I nervously chew my thumbnail as I stand at my door and watch my mom, dad, and sister get out of their car. Firm arms wrap around me from behind and pulls me back against a hard chest. Colt’s warmth settles some of the nerves wracking my body, but doesn’t completely diminish them. My eyes flicker down to the small bump of my sister’s stomach. Love and longing has my stomach clenching.

  “Everything is going to be okay,” Colt murmurs in my ear.

  The rational part of my brain knows this. It’s the irrational part, the part that still carries scars from years of being taunted and degraded for my abnormal sexual practices that’s leaving me scared. It’s been three months since Colt and I got back together. We’ve had several conversations about me telling my parents about my addiction and the reasons behind it. I’ve also talked with my doctor. They both feel it may help with my healing. I want so much to be closer with my family, to come clean with them, and I know deep down they will understand, but it still worries me that they’ll look at me differently.

  Colt grabs the hand that’s steadily trying to eat away at my nail and places it over my stomach, where his rests on top of it.

  “Relax, Abby. Your family loves you.”

  I nod and blow out a breath. He’s talked with my mom and dad over the phone on a couple different occasions. I did tell them I met someone and they were happy for me. The next step is telling them the rest.

  Tears spring to my eyes when I see my mom looking at me with tears of her own sliding down her face. It’s been a year and a half since I’ve seen her. It may seem weird for some for us to look so sad while facing each other only after a year and a half, but we both know this visit will be different. I’ve told her that I’m ready to tell them my secrets. She knows I haven’t been truthful with her, and the relief she couldn’t hide over the phone when I told her I was ready to come clean gutted me.

  She stops at the bottom of the steps, her hand covering her mouth, and a second later, I’m launching myself into her arms. We both cry as we hold each other. I feel a hand at my back and my dad’s cologne engulfs us both.

  When she pulls back, she rests her forehead against mine and wipes away the tears trailing down my face.

  “Hey, Mom.” I’m so used to being strong all the time. I feel like a little kid again, standing here with my mom, wanting to always feel her arms wrapped around me.

  “Hey, Sweetie,” she says and smiles, her eyes still watering.

  She releases me and my dad steps forward and wraps his big strong arms around me. I didn’t realize how much I missed his bear hugs until just now.

  My sister steps up next, and I look down at her belly. I slowly reach out my hand, but halt it halfway to her stomach. I look up to her and see her smiling at me. She grabs my hand and places it against her pregnant belly. A feeling of love for my sister, so strong it nearly has me staggering back, drives into me. I can’t help the laugh that slips free when I feel a tiny nudge on my hand.

  “Did she just…” I ask, looking up at my sister in wonder.

  She nods, her smile growing. “She did.”

  I look over when Colt walks up to us. His hand settles on my lower back and he watches me with his own love shining in his eyes.

  Reluctantly, I pull my hand back.

  “Mo
m, Dad, Nina, this is my boyfriend, Colt. Colt, this is my mom, Kat, my dad, John, and my sister, Nina.”

  My mom reaches over and grabs Colt’s cheeks to bring his head down to her level, where she plants a kiss on each cheek.

  “It’s so very nice to finally meet you, Colt,” she says, smiling broadly.

  “The pleasure is all mine, Ma’am.”

  “Nonsense with the ma’am. You call me Kat.”

  Colt smiles, and turns to face my dad, holding out his hand. “Sir.”

  “John,” my dad corrects, just like I knew he would. “Good to meet you, Son.”

  My sister steps up next and pulls Colt into a brief hug.

  This is why I love my family so much, and why I know my fears were unfounded. They are so loving and accepting. The fear I was feeling a few minutes ago dissipates fractionally.

  I sit on the couch with Nina beside me, holding onto one hand, with my mom on the other side, holding onto the other.

  Save for Colt and my dad, who both are looking deadly dangerous at the moment, we each have tears running down our faces. I just told them what happened when I was younger, and what I believe to be the results of the experience.

  Nina looks at me with horror on her face.

  “Abby,” her voice cracks, right before her face screws up with pain. “I am so so sor—”

  “No,” I tell her hoarsely, then shake my head. “No, Neen, don’t you dare apologize.”

  “But, Abby. If it wasn’t for you trying to protect me…”

  I shake my head harder and pull her into my arms.

  “You were eight years old, Neen. Of course I was going to protect you. You were my baby sister.”

  She holds onto me like her life depends on it. Her tears soak my shirt. I run my hands down her back, trying to soothe her. I knew this would affect her the most. I would do it a hundred times over to protect Nina, but essentially, it was because of my love for her and my need to protect her is why Darren got away with what he did.

  “I don’t understand why you never came to us,” my mom whispers brokenly.

  “Because I knew there was nothing you could do. You knew who Darren’s family were. You know his dad would have gotten him off of any charges. We were nobody’s, while his dad owned half the town. I couldn’t take the chance he’d come after Nina.”

  “I’d have killed his scrawny little ass. Then we wouldn’t have had to worry about his dad getting him off of anything,” my dad fumes.

  I look to him. I’ve never seen that look in my dad’s eyes before. He really looks like he wants to commit murder. And I have no doubt he would. Even now, years later, I know if given the chance, my dad would hunt Darren down and kill him. A look to Colt says he’d be right there beside them.

  “And that would have left us without you,” I tell him softly. “I did what I thought was right at the time.”

  By the clenching of his fists, my answer doesn’t satisfy him.

  I get up from my seat and go to him. He yanks me into his big arms, and mine go around his waist.

  “My baby was being abused,” his voice cracks. “And I never knew.”

  “Dad,” I murmur, my heart splitting in two at the pain in his voice.

  “For months that shit went on, and for years you’ve been forced to go through what you have alone.”

  His arms tighten around me, but I push back, forcing him to release his grip.

  “I’m so sorry, Daddy.”

  “Don’t ever apologize, baby. What happened to you…” He stops and clears his throat. “We should have known something was wrong,” he finishes on a whisper.

  “I didn’t want you to know.” I look down at the buttons on his shirt, not able to look into his eyes. “And I was so ashamed at what it did to me later. I knew in my heart that none of you would judge me, but in the beginning, I felt so dirty. I couldn’t take the chance that any of you would look at me—”

  “Stop,” my dad barks out. I glance up at him and see his jaw hard. “You’re breaking my heart here.”

  I look to my mom, then to Nina, then back to my dad.

  “I wasn’t alone for long. I’ve made friends that have been there for me. We’re really close.” I look over to Colt and hold out my hand. I leave my dad’s arms and step into Colt’s, who encloses them around my waist. “And now I have Colt. He’s helped me a lot.” He leans down and lays a soft kiss against my lips.

  “I never thought I could have a normal relationship because of my addiction.” I look down to my sister, and smile gently at her. “And with it, I never thought I could have a baby of my own.” I bring my eyes back up to Colt’s. “But I do now, because of Colt. He’s taught me so much, and has opened up my world to all the possibilities I never thought were possible.”

  A quiet sob escapes my mom, and she gets up from the couch. She comes to me and wraps her arms around both me and Colt from the side.

  “We could never, ever, look at you with anything but love, Abigail. There is nothing that could ever change that. You’re our baby girl.”

  When she pulls back, I nod, finally knowing what she says is true. “I know that now, Mom.”

  She turns her gaze to the tall man I love more than life itself.

  “Thank you for bringing back my little girl,” she says quietly.

  He nods, his face serious, until he looks down at me, where his lips break into a stunning smile.

  Two days later, mine and Colt’s backyard is filled with our family and friends. This is the first time we’ve all been together, and I couldn’t be happier.

  Originally, we were going to have my parents come for a visit and just be with us for the first time since we knew the atmosphere from my news wouldn’t be the best. We were going to have Colt’s family meet mine on the next visit. That didn’t last when Colt’s mom, along with Lizzy, stopped by unexpectedly yesterday. Everyone got off to a great start, and Colt’s and my mom started making plans for a barbeque for today. My mom insisted I invite my friends over as well.

  Much to Colt’s ire, Tera was off with Lukas on some trip and couldn’t make it.

  So, here we all are.

  Ava squeals and gushes over Nina’s stomach when she feels the baby move. Ava is a strange person sometimes. She can be one of the hardest woman you’ll ever meet, but she also has a very sensitive side. Case in point, the soft expression she’s now carrying.

  I look over to see my dad, my mom, and Tegan talking by the grill. My dad’s rumbling laugh and my mom’s lighter one can be heard across the yard at something Tegan said. I have no clue what they’re talking about, but I laugh with them anyway. We haven’t seen much of Tegan lately. He’s been off somewhere, doing whatever, but any time we ask him where he’s been he closes up, not revealing anything.

  My gaze finds Colt and Nathan. Colt has Lizzy on his shoulders, and she’s playing with his hair. It’s strange watching the two men converse. In the beginning, I thought it was going to take them a while to get along, especially for Colt. I could tell when I told him that Nathan and I had been intimate it really bothered him. But for whatever reason, once Colt and I got back together, they’ve become really close. I think it may be because Colt knows Nathan was there for me during one of the most painful times of my life, and he feels grateful I wasn’t alone.

  “How’s Lucy doing?” I ask, turning to Caroline, Colt’s mom.

  She looks up from cutting lettuce and looks over to Lizzy, smiling.

  “She’s doing really good.” She turns her smile to me. “She misses Lizzy a lot, but agrees that she doesn’t want Lizzy to see her at the facility. Her therapy sessions are going really well and seem to be helping her.”

  “That’s good. I’m sure she’s anxious to get home.”

  “She is, but knows this is what she needs. She’s halfway there. Only three months left.”

  My mom walks up on the back patio after taking the steaks down to my dad. She stops and kisses my cheek, before grabbing a bag of chips and opening them to pu
t them in a bowl. Both her and Caroline leave a few minutes later to carry their dishes to the picnic table.

  I feel arms wrap around me from behind and smile as I turn to face Colt. He dips his head for a brief kiss, causing a low ache to form in my belly. This is a good kind of ache though.

  “I love that our families get along so well. And they all get along with my friends. I love having everyone together,” I tell him.

  His arms around me shift as he leans back against the railing, taking me with him and pulling me slightly between his legs.

  “That’s because you’re pretty amazing, and you attract pretty amazing people.” His smile is lazy as he looks down at me.

  “Thank you, Blue.”

  “For what?”

  I look around the yard and see it full of the people I love most in the world. I wish I’d had the nerve to come clean sooner to my family. I’ve missed so many years with them. But now that I’ve told them the truth, we can start rebuilding our relationship.

  I look back at the man in front of me. My Blue. The man that’s made my dreary life shine bright. He’s the one that’s made this possible for me. He’s the one that’s given me the courage and has brought my family back to me, and has given me so much more. Without him, I have no doubt I’d still be stuck in my directionless life, living a lonely existence.

  “For giving me this.”

  I lean up and rest my lips against his, silently thanking him again for giving me more than I ever knew was possible. A life worth living, and a love worth fighting for.

  Epilogue

  One year later…

  Colt

  I glance down at my watch and silently curse. I’m fucking late. Abby is going to kick my ass, after I fuck her nice and hard first, but still, an ass kicking is definitely on the horizon.

  I pull open the door and step inside. An eerie silence greets me, and at first my heart pounds in my chest with fear. I expected Abby to meet me at the door, ready to jump on me the minute I stepped inside. I drop my keys on the bar and strain to listen. A noise catches my attention, and I cock my head to the side, trying to hear the sound better. There it is again, a soft moan.