Sights on the SEAL: A Secret Baby Romance

by Alexis Abbott

  “How cold?” I sit up straighter and move closer.

  Andrei looks at me thoughtfully for a moment before stroking the hair back out of my face and caressing my cheek. Instinctively, I first wince at his touch before leaning into it. I am not used to such tender, intimate gestures. But I think I will probably love getting used to it.

  “In my homeland, it is so cold in the winter that the air will freeze solid in your lungs if you dare draw a breath outside,” he explains, a twinkle of nostalgia in his eyes.

  “How did you survive?”

  He chuckles, a pleasant sound, surprising to hear from him. “Well, I held my breath and wore a lot of layers. Besides, it was all I ever knew back then.”

  “Do you miss it? Do you miss your parents?” I ask, leaning forward to rest my chin on his boxers-clad thigh. He stiffens a little and I worry that it’s because of me.

  But then he explains, “My mother and father died when I was very young.”

  I sit back and hang my head in apology. “I shouldn’t have asked. I’m sorry.”

  Andrei takes my chin to tilt my head up and face him.

  “You are my wife. You don’t have to apologize for asking about my past.”

  At those words — ‘my wife’ — I feel my heartbeat quicken.

  After a couple moments I add, “How do you deal with it? The homesickness, I mean.”

  He gives me a sympathetic look. “I can take you to a place I go to forget my pain.”

  “Where is it?” I ask.

  Andrei gets up and hands me the black towel from the counter. “Dry off and get dressed and I will show you around the city. New York may not be the home I remember, nor is it the one you know, but it is the home we share together now. And it isn’t as bad as it may seem. I promise you that.”

  Andrei

  “I’m not sure it’s the best fit, Cassie…”

  “Oh, it’ll be fine, those big jackets of yours are supposed to cover everything to keep you warm, right?”

  I try not to smile in bemusement as I watch Cassie struggle to pull one of my massive winter coats over her shoulders. It nearly engulfs her entire body, and as she pulls the hood up over her head, it falls over her eyes, and I can’t hold back a laugh.

  It’s mid-morning, and I’m taking Cassie out.

  “Perhaps we should do some clothes shopping while we’re in the city,” I venture. I figure it’s about time for this poor girl to experience a little more style than what her father and mother picked out for her.

  She’s wearing one such ensemble under my jacket, and it’s a bit like looking at a sepia-toned antique photo. A long brown skirt runs down to touch the knees, and a beige sweater covers up most of that. Her shoes are a little clunky, and her socks aren’t nearly long enough to cover her shins. Even that bit of exposed skin manages to make her look modest.

  “Brighton Beach is still NYC, so if you’re going to live down here, you might like to dress the part,” I add on.

  “Well what’s wrong with this?” she cries, pulling the hood down and sticking her lip out at me in protest. “I know it isn’t the most modest thing in the world, but everyone at church seemed okay with it.”

  I raise my eyebrows at her and help her find her way out of my jacket. “Yes, well, I think you might like a little more variety than the one suitcase you brought with you. A husband ought to provide for his wife, don’t you think?”

  I see the hint of a smile play across her lips, and she bats her eyelashes up at me, though I don’t think she realizes she’s doing it. “Alright. One store.”

  The Lower East Side is already bustling with activity at this hour, and Cassie can’t seem to tear her eyes away from the window.

  I can’t help but chuckle, glancing over at her awestruck expression.

  “Don’t laugh,” she chides, though she quickly bites her lip in embarrassment, before adding on more reverentially, “I hardly left my own neighborhood is all.”

  “Well don’t lose all your energy taking in the crowds, we aren’t even at the Orchard Street district yet.”

  She tilts her head at me curiously, and as she opens her mouth, I cut her off before the question escapes her lips.

  “No, it isn’t an apple farm, it’s just a shopping area.”

  A few minutes later, we’ve parked, and even as Cassie walks with both her arms wrapped around one of mine as she shivers in the brisk air, her eyes are wandering all over the scenery around her.

  The Historic Orchard Street district is busy, but the commotion only adds to the powerful heartbeat of the area.

  “Andrei, this place is like something out of a movie! I didn’t even know you could put this many clothing stores in one place! Don’t they all just end up selling the same kind of stuff?”

  “You didn’t go on shopping trips with your mother very much, did you?”

  “No, most of it came from church yard sales, why?”

  I laugh and hold her tighter to me, and she gives an adorable little squeak as I half-lift her up off the ground. I can only imagine what a magical experience the sights and sounds of this place must be for her.

  The internationality of the area is what really seems to grab her. I let her gently tug at my arm lead us to just about every window on the stretch of street we walk down, and she indulges nearly every beckoning merchant urging us to come see their wares.

  I find myself smiling a little more with each distraction. She begs me to take her into a little Turkish coffee shop, and a moment later, I’m trying to warn her not to burn herself on the bitter drink she’s never tasted before. I end up drinking most of hers for her, but even the little bit she gets into her system puts an extra spring in her step.

  She seems to have boundless energy, but small as she is, her teeth keep chattering, so I stop at one of the cart vendors and let her pick out a hand-knit scarf to wrap herself in. She chooses a pink and white one with little pom-poms on the tassels, and I show her how to wrap it properly so it fits snug, but not too tight.

  After what feels like hours, I feel her slowing down at my side.

  “What’s the matter, coffee crash hitting you already?”

  “Hm? Oh, oh no, nothing,” she waves off, but I notice that she was looking towards one of the shops, and I follow her gaze. There’s a large clothing boutique on a street corner, and there are elaborate designs adorning the legion of mannequins in the windows.

  “You like the clothes there?” I ask, smiling.

  “No, no,” she backpedals quickly, “I mean, they look kind of nice, but I don’t think they’re the most appropriate things in the world, you know.”

  “But you like them,” I press with a teasing grin, and she blushes a little.

  “Well, I’ve never worn anything quite like that before, but I’m a married woman, and I really shouldn’t be dressing like that in public, and —”

  I bring us to a halt and hold her shoulders with both hands, looking down at her rather seriously, though not harshly. “Cassie, I may be your husband, but whether you’re married or not, the only thing you should be wearing is exactly what you feel like wearing.”

  The poor girl wrings her hands for a moment, but the smile tugging at her face tells all, and after a moment of chewing on her lip as she plays with the idea, she nods vigorously.

  “Okay, but just for a little bit!”

  With that, she leads me by the hand into the boutique.

  The place is a jungle of elaborate fabric. It’s clearly some kind of up-and-coming designer trying to break out of its independent phase, and by the looks of the store, it’s well on its way.

  “A little bit” turns into nearly an hour of Cassie tearing through the store, brimming with renewed energy, eyes sparkling the whole time. I anticipate feeling bored at the display, but there’s something peculiarly endearing about her enthusiasm as she brings up dresses and hats for me to look at — nearly half the store’s worth.

  “You seem to have an affinity for lace,” I remark, and it
’s no exaggeration. Cassie has been gravitating towards frilly, lacy dresses, high stockings, and enormous bows.

  “Well, these dresses feel like, I dunno,” she twists her shoe into the ground as she tries to think of the expression, “makes me feel like a princess.”

  “Well, printsessa,” I bow my head with teasing reverence, “would you like to try some of those royal dresses on?”

  Cassie

  “It’s after ten o’clock — isn’t that a little late to go out?” I ask anxiously from my perch on a bench inside the massive walk-in closet. After a few hours in Central Park earlier, we came home to freshen ourselves up and put away all the masses of new clothes sent to the apartment from the many shops we frequented today. Until I saw them all in one place, I didn’t realize just how much we bought. When we arrived back at the apartment building, there was a veritable mountain of packages waiting to be received in the lobby’s holding area. The poor desk clerk had to call down two assistants to help us carry everything to the elevator and down the hall.

  Andrei stands in the bathroom around the corner, checking his reflection, as though he could possibly look anything but handsome. He calls out, “Is this a late night for you?”

  “Well, yes!” I answer, crinkling my nose. I can’t believe people actually go out this late at night instead of just sleeping. My father used to always say that the dark hours are when temptations are most abundant, and that only ‘loose women and whoremongers’ went out late at night.

  I suppose tonight I am going to be a loose woman.

  Standing up and biting my lip as I look down at the clothes I’m wearing, I know that my father would have some choice words to say about my appearance, as well. I’ve never before gone out with so much of my skin showing. I’m wearing all new items purchased today, and I feel violently self-conscious in them.

  I also feel kind of pretty.

  The dress I’m wearing is lavender-colored, flouncy, and falls to just above my knees. I’ve paired it with knee-high, frilly, white socks and pale pink shoes with slight heels to them. I shake my hair out of its messy bun so that it cascades in soft, full waves around my shoulders. Today, I saw so many beautiful women everywhere with their immaculate hair, chic ensembles, and flawless makeup, and now I feel self-conscious about the fact that I lack all of those things.

  Certainly, back home I never felt attractive in any real way, but I also didn’t feel ugly. The standards were simply different in the community I’m used to. Women are less adorned, but they are still expected to be soft and unsullied, totally put-together, even in their modest simplicity. Nobody really wore makeup or flashy clothing, but even our plain looks had to be perfectly arranged to suit the ideal: a clean, subservient, quietly pretty woman willing to obey without question or hesitation. Always willing to follow light-footed in the shadows of a man. We were the little brown birds meant to keep the nest and wait on the scarlet-hued males.

  But here, in the big city, women wore the bright colors. The streets of New York are a veritable rainbow of different types of fashion and beauty. I never knew this many options even existed! I always learned that there is only one kind of acceptable look, and it’s the same one every girl and woman back home adheres to. The same one I always wore, too.

  And now, I look at myself in the floor-length mirror hanging on the back of the closet door and gasp at the sight. My body is adorned in such jewel-like colors, shiny and complex fabrics and textures, unlike anything I’ve ever seen, much less worn. The girl in the mirror looks like some stranger, even though my face is the same. Like my face has been cut and pasted onto some other girl’s body. I am suddenly acutely aware of the fact that there is no makeup on my face. Prior to coming into New York City, I never even considered it necessary or even desirable.

  Makeup, my father says, is just an earthly tool meant to deceive and ensnare the weak-hearted. But what I saw today has opened my mind and given me a different perspective. I see the way people use clothing and makeup to express themselves, and I wonder if it can be yet another way to explore the glory of what God has created in the human race.

  I’m interrupted from my reverie by Andrei’s knock on the closet door.

  “Are you ready?” asks his deep voice from the other side of the door, and I feel a wave of nervous nausea rush over me. I don’t think I’ll ever be ready. But I slowly open the door anyway, and when Andrei sees me, he almost cracks a smile.

  Almost. But that hard expression hardly twitches at all, even though his eyes do soften a bit when they look me up and down. I find myself wanting more than anything to bring more softness into his life. I want him to be happy and light and warm, and I am determined to give him a million reasons to feel those things.

  “I think so,” I answer bashfully, looking down at my new shoes.

  “You look lovely.”

  My eyes snap up at the compliment and I’m unable to suppress a wide grin, my cheeks getting flushed. He is my husband and I want to please him for that reason, but there is also a genuine, organic desire growing in me to gain his approval, to be what he wants.

  What he paid for.

  “Thank you.”

  He has something in his hands, I realize, and I blink. “What’s that?” It looks like a little black square that he’s holding somewhat awkwardly, like he isn’t used to it.

  “A Kindle,” he says in his light accent, and hearing it come from his voice makes me smile a little. “I’m sure you spent some moments reading with all that time to yourself, so I thought…” He trails off and ends up simply holding the little e-reader out to me. “It apparently can hold tens of thousands of books, and I already entered my payment details, so you can buy whatever you like.”

  “Th-thank you,” I say as I take it into my hands and look it over, a little taken aback, but honestly, part of me wants to jump in bed with it immediately. We’d had nothing like that back home, but I was always fascinated by the idea of a tiny little device that could hold such a wealth of information.

  He offers his arm to me a little stiffly, looking like a rugged, bad-boy prince in his black leather jacket, pressed white button-up shirt, and dark jeans. I hesitantly take his arm, then lean into him a little more, trying to relax. After all, we did spend the whole day together.

  And last night we were awfully close…

  “So where exactly are we going?” I ask him as I set the Kindle aside for later while he silently drapes a new brown peacoat over my shoulders. He leads me out into the hallway and into the elevator, dodging the question until the elevator doors close.

  Then he says quietly, “We’re going to a place where I feel a little more at home.”

  “But where is that?”

  Andrei gives me a sidelong glance, his dark eyes falling on me and sending a little thrill down my spine. There is just something so mysterious and enigmatic about his eyes — that spellbinding, soul-reading, black stare.

  Again, surrounded by the mirrored walls of the elevator chamber, I am startled by how sharply our looks contrast. Every aspect of his countenance is dark, heavy, nearly predatory. Beside him, I am pastel and dreamy-eyed, a pale waif sharing the air with a big, bad wolf.

  “Aren’t you going to tell me? Is it a secret?” I press him, cocking my head to the side.

  Finally, when we get into his Corvette and he starts the engine, he answers me.

  “We’re going to a place called Brighton Beach. There’s a large population of Russkiys living in the area.”

  A beach? I am definitely confused now. I know that I have led a very sheltered life, and there is so much I don’t know about the world, but it seems very unusual to go out to a beach in the middle of the night when it’s this cold out.

  “Brighton Beach?” I repeat, furrowing my brow. “Isn’t it… isn’t it a little cold?”

  “What do you mean?” Andrei says, glancing over at me with a bemused expression.

  I fidget with the hem of my dress, biting my lip. I can’t tell if he is joking or
not. Everyone back upstate is very straightforward. We don’t joke around. So I’m not particularly skilled at determining when people are being facetious, but I feel that he must be, right now.

  “It’s dark out, and cold, and I — I don’t know how to swim!” I ramble all at once, closing my eyes and folding my hands in my lap.

  Andrei snorts and I open my eyes to see him giving me a bemused look.

  “What’s so funny?” I ask, starting to feel a little miffed.

  “We’re not going to the beach — we’re going to a bar.”

  “Called Brighton Beach?”

  Andrei swipes a hand over his face, clearly amused. “No, the bar is called the Amber Room, and it is located in Brighton Beach.”

  Suddenly, I feel like the dumbest, most ignorant human being currently breathing air. I’m thankful for the darkness, because I can feel my cheeks burning bright pink.

  “Oh,” I say softly.

  For the rest of the drive, we sit mostly quiet except for my occasional comments about the scenery and signs we pass by. Andrei is cordial and kind, but not very responsive, and certainly never forthcoming. He is rather like my father in this one, singular way. Both are quite reticent — men of little words. But when they do speak, they are charismatic. People stop to listen.

  I, on the other hand, am a complete chatterbox. I hope that I’m not bothering Andrei with my unending commentary, but I have a tendency to talk too much when I get nervous. And every moment I spend in this revealing dress, in an unfamiliar city, with a handsome but intimidating man, at this late hour… my nerves are totally on edge.

  By the time we reach our destination, I feel quite sick to my stomach. There are people walking around outside, lining up to get in the door. The building itself is fairly nondescript, but Andrei insists that this place makes him feel at home, so I want to give it a fair chance. I am eager to find out more about my new husband: what he likes, what he thinks about, what his memories are filled with. Despite our legal union, we are hardly more than strangers, but I am determined to break down his walls.