by Kim Loraine
My heart is like a hummingbird against my ribs. I have to get out of here. “I’m tired from such a long day. If you’ll excuse me, I’d like to go to my room now and prepare for our trip.”
Bowing, he keeps his emerald eyes trained on mine. “Until morning.”
I make my way to the door and refuse to let myself make eye contact with either of my aunts. I can feel the anger coming off both of them in waves though. They want me to be their little puppet. That much is clear from this stunt. That’s not going to happen. I am in charge of my destiny. I am the fucking queen here. And until I’m sure, I won't be marrying anyone.
16
Christian
Maeve is more striking than I’d thought possible. And her blood. Fuck, her blood is like a siren’s song. I want it more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life. My fangs tingle in my mouth, desperate to break free so I can finally feed for the first time. No one prepared me to want her this much.
If all goes well, I’ll have her in every way possible by the end of our trip.
Mind. Body. Soul.
She will be mine.
17
Jensen
The sight of Maeve rushing down the hall, desperation on her face, makes my chest tight. She shouldn’t be alone in this castle, or anywhere for that matter. Why isn’t she with her new husband?
“My queen,” I call, trying to stop the memory of her body pressed against mine in the meadow.
She looks at me, the relief crashing over her so obvious it’s almost palpable. “Jensen,” she cries, throwing herself into my arms. “I couldn’t do it.”
No. She can’t be saying what I think she’s saying. “What do you mean?”
“I just can’t marry him.”
Elation sings in my blood. She denied the prince and sought comfort in my arms. “Maeve, I don’t know what to say.”
Burying her face in my chest, she takes a deep breath and holds me tight. I shouldn’t allow myself to enjoy the feel of her, to recall the meadow. I definitely shouldn’t remember the numerous times I’d dreamed of her doing exactly this during my year in the human world with her. I’d wake with desire raging through my body followed immediately by shame for my weakness.
“Will you come back to my chambers? I…I think we need to talk.”
I can’t speak. If I do, she’ll hear the emotion I’m trying so hard to quell. Instead I offer her a curt nod and step back, arms at my sides. After I conquer the swell of ridiculous hope in my chest I clear my throat and manage to say, “Lead the way.”
Following behind her is no easier than having her in my arms. Her flaxen hair shines in the glow of the soft lights hanging from the high ceiling of the hall. I want to run my fingers through the strands, or better yet, wrap them around my fist and tug as I claim her in a kiss that puts the one we had in the meadow to shame.
I have to put an end to this. It’s no good for either of us.
She stops in her tracks when she rounds the corner and I nearly crash into her. Glancing over her shoulder I see what stopped her. Finn. He’s standing guard, his posture tense, jaw set. He looks more like a stoic soldier than I’ve ever seen him. The man has always been quick to smile and laugh. Now, he’s a shell of himself.
His gaze meets mine. The despair in his eyes is clear as day, because I feel the same thing.
“Finn,” Maeve breathes.
He offers a bow. “My queen.”
I see it the instant he utters the words. Maeve stiffens as though hurt. But, brave as she is, she straightens her shoulders and lifts her chin. “I need you to come inside. Both of you.”
Finn nods and opens the door, allowing her to enter. He sends me a searching look, but I just shake my head. I don’t know anything other than the fact that she hasn’t married the prince as of yet.
Gesturing to the chairs in the corner, she says, “Please, have a seat. This isn’t an easy thing to say.”
My stomach churns with worry at the distress on her beautiful face. “My…Maeve,” I start, catching myself before I call her my queen again. That’s not what she needs now. “What is this about?”
She frowns and turns away, heading to the French doors on her left. With a pulse of power from her hands on the wood, the doors illuminate and after the light fades, she opens them. Walking inside, she returns with a tray laden with a decanter of amber liquid and three crystal glasses.
Damn. Whatever this is, it’s not good.
Setting the tray on the side table, she pours generous servings for each of us and hands out glasses before taking her own. She doesn’t wait for us. The woman downs her drink in two long swallows and pours a second.
Finn catches my eye and raises his brows. My nerves are running on high alert, as she drinks half of her second glass before joining us.
“Maeve,” I say again. “Please calm down. What’s wrong?”
“I didn’t marry him.”
This I already know, but Finn’s relief is obvious as his shoulders sag and his eyes soften.
“But, I’m going away with him tomorrow. For what was supposed to be our honeymoon.”
I down the contents of my own drink at that revelation. I don’t want her anywhere alone with the vampire.
She continues, staring down at the alcohol in her hands. “I need you to come with me. As my guard. But I have a confession to make, and I don’t think either of you will like it.”
18
Maeve
My tongue feels like lead in my mouth. I don’t want to tell them. Particularly Finn. Jensen already knows to a degree, he’s watched Finn and I together, but Finn, he’s sweet and tender. I fear if I break his heart it won’t ever be repaired.
After a deep breath, I close my eyes and gather my words, only allowing myself to look at the men once I have my plan in place. “I have…feelings for you.” They frown, then Finn smiles and my heart squeezes. “Both of you,” I finish.
Finn is across the room and on his knees before me in seconds. His fingers twine with mine as he looks into my eyes. “Maeve, I don't think I’m wrong when I say that Jensen and I have both had feelings for you since the first day we arrived in the human world. We’ve known we were yours from the beginning.”
I tear my gaze from his and look at Jensen. He’s guarded, as is typical. “Is this true?”
He nods. “I said as much in the meadow.”
Confusion swirls in my head as I try to remember him confessing feelings. “No. You kissed me, you said you’d protect me until your dying day, but you never said you have feelings.”
Finn lets go of my hand. “The meadow?”
Jensen ignores Finn and stares into my eyes. “I said I’d be yours. Yours in every sense of the word. You have my heart, my protection, my loyalty. You have for twenty-one years.”
Finn stands and runs a hand through his hair. “Wait. You kissed her? You damn bastard. Were you just waiting for a weak moment? I let her go because you convinced me I was being selfish and then you swoop in and make your move?”
I hate this. I hate to see them fighting—hurting. “Finn—“
Jensen interrupts me, standing and stepping close to Finn, not intimidated by his friend in the least. “It was a mistake. It won’t happen again.”
My stomach turns to stone. There it is, the truth. A mistake. I’m a fucking mistake. Tears burn in my eyes causing me to fight the rising sob. I stand and push past them. “I’m sorry,” I whisper, trying desperately to keep from crying. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just needed to be honest. The truth is…it can’t happen again with either of you. After this trip with Christian, I have to make the choice to marry him or risk the Shadow Court.” A stray tear escapes, but I brush it away quickly, hoping they won’t notice. “You’ll be with us as my guards and nothing more. I needed you to know that before we leave.”
The air in the room begins to swirl and the flower arrangement on the table withers until it crumbles to dust. Is this me? Am I doing this? Balling my hands into fists, I c
lose my eyes and take a few deep breaths as my aunts taught me. I pull my energy inward and absorb it all before I hurt someone. When I open my eyes I stare down at my hands and gasp at the silver glow surrounding my exposed skin.
“Maeve—“ Finn starts, moving toward me, but I hold up a hand.
“No. From now on, I’m your queen. Nothing more.” I can’t look at him. If I do, I’ll lose my grip on my control. “Leave me.”
He flinches as though I’ve slapped him, and then immediately shuts down. With a bow, he turns on his heels and leaves, followed by a silent Jensen.
I’m alone. I know I asked for them to leave, but it hurts all the same. I’ve been spiraling into love with both of them since we met, even if I tried to ignore the signs. Reaching behind me, I try to work the laces on the bodice of my gown, needing this confining garment off my body. I need to be free of everything that might remind me of my obligations, of Christian, of my aunts. Desperation swells in my chest, making traitorous tears threaten to fall. Raindrops begin to mist the air around me and I have to fight a scream of frustration. The last thing I want to deal with is a rainstorm in my bedroom.
Closing my eyes, I will the power back into my chest and hands, the flow of the magic warming my skin. Then, I focus all my energy on my goal of removing this damn dress. Heat blossoms across my body and the smell of smoke fills the air. I gasp and open my eyes, heart hammering with fear. Did I just set myself on fire? I don’t hurt anywhere. Glancing down my frame I see nothing but bare, unmarked skin and a pile of ash at my feet.
“Holy shit,” I whisper to the empty room.
I take another deep breath before I step over the remains of my gown and head for the sanctuary of my bathroom. All I want right now is a hot bath. That always makes everything better…at least in the moment. I’ll deal with my feelings when I get out of the water.
19
Maeve
Sitting up in bed, I turn around and punch my pillow until it’s fluffed just right. I don’t know why I bother. I’ve been tossing and turning all night. I added lavender oil to my bath, drank a cup of soothing chamomile tea, even read a book from the library I’d called into being. Nothing worked. Every time I close my eyes I see Finn’s hurt, I hear Jensen’s harsh admission that I’d been a mistake.
I let out an annoyed breath and throw the blankets off my legs before getting out of bed. Grabbing a silk robe the color of champagne, I tie the belt and slide my feet into some matching slippers. I need to get out of here, get some perspective without my attraction to Jensen and Finn clouding my judgment.
Hand on the doorknob, I hesitate. They’re probably sitting outside right now, guarding my room. I take a long breath to steady my fluttering stomach and turn the knob. The heavy wood door creaks as it swings open, making me wince. At any moment one or both of them will appear in front of me, offering a stern look or a scolding I’m sure. But nothing happens. I step out into the hall and glance around to find no one guarding me. My heart sinks at their absence and confusion swirls in my head. Do I want them or not? Even I don’t know.
The halls are silent, only the sound of my soft footfalls disturbing the quiet. I’m thankful for this respite from my royal requirements, from my title and the weight my new realm holds over me. I’ll wander, explore, and maybe work out the torrent of conflicting emotions swirling through me.
“Maeve.” Christian’s smooth, deep voice hits my ears like a caress, causing me to turn.
He’s standing behind me, his hand on the door to the room he must’ve just come from. God, he’s gorgeous.
“Christian. What are you doing up? It’s the middle of the night.”
He grins and strides toward me. “Couldn’t sleep.”
I sigh. “Me too.”
Offering his hand, he cocks his head. “Come on. I was trying to find the kitchen in search of a midnight snack.”
“Well, I’m not going to be any help. I’ve barely seen this place aside from the hallways and a few rooms.”
He threads our fingers together and gently rubs his thumb across my palm. Tingles race through me, followed by a momentary flash of guilt for Jensen and Finn. “We can get lost together.”
Nodding, I work to push down the swell of desire for this man. I don’t know him, but something tells me I can trust in him.
We manage to find the kitchen, empty with the exception of an old dog who is curled up by the hearth. A large stone island sits in the center of the room, but there’s not anything typical about this space. For one, there’s no refrigerator, no pantry filled with food. All I see are glass cupboards with delicate plates and cups.
Christian frowns as he pulls open each one. “There’s no food. What kind of kitchen is this?”
Heaving a sigh, I place my palms flat on the cold marble island. “It doesn’t look like any kitchen I’ve ever seen. I’m sorry. I wish I knew how this whole faerie queen thing worked.”
I close my eyes and picture what I really want. Hot cocoa with whipped cream and a couple of my mom’s homemade chocolate chip cookies. Just the thought brings the scent of rich chocolate to my nose. A wave of longing and sadness hits me as I remember her face, a face I’ll never see again.
“Shit,” Christian breathes.
Alarm shoots through me. What have I done now? Opening my eyes, I immediately lock onto his face, searching for some kind of injury or danger to him. His eyes are wide and twinkle with amusement.
“I think I figured out why there’s no food,” he says, gesturing to me.
I laugh. “What are you—“ I start, but my words vanish when I look in front of me and see everything I’d just been wishing for. “Holy shit.”
“Think you can magic some of that up for me too?”
Giddy laughter bubbles up in my chest as I nod. “I’ll try.” Closing my eyes again, I picture what I want and, sure enough, an identical serving is in front of Christian when I train my gaze on him.
“I think I’m going to like being yours, Maeve.”
His words make heat creep up my cheeks. The idea of being his isn’t as scary as it had been hours ago. Every moment we spend together eases some of that fear. Instead of answering, I take a sip of my cocoa and savor the rich taste.
“So, tell me, how did it feel to grow up as the lost princess of the Shadow Court?”
The question catches me off guard. “The lost princess?”
“Everyone with knowledge of the fae knows this story. You’re famous.”
“Technically, I’m a queen,” I say, stalling for time. I didn’t realize there was more than just the Shadow Court involved in this. “I didn’t know I was a princess. Not until I woke up here and my scary aunt told me.”
“I’m aware. But what I’m asking…badly, is for you to tell me about yourself. What was it like to grow up as a human?”
I take another drink and stare down at my cookie. “I don't know. Normal, I guess.” I don’t want to think about my old life, the parents who raised me, the last conversation I’d had with my mom—the fear they must be feeling knowing I’m missing. “I was very sheltered. My mom homeschooled me until I forced her to let me go to public high school. Even then, I didn’t really have a lot of friends. Not until Jensen and Finn moved in.”
“Those are your guards? The ones sent to protect you until your return?”
“They’re more to me than just guards.” The words hurt as they leave my lips. “They were the first people I trusted implicitly. It was weird at first, Jensen was so standoffish, and I thought he hated me, but after we got to know each other, my perspective changed. I never feel like I’m in danger when he’s around. And Finn became my best friend within a few weeks.”
He shifts in his seat and wraps his hands around his mug. “Is there anything going on with them?”
My heart lurches. But, Jensen said it already—it was a mistake. “No.” My answer is strong and resolute. I laid out the rules and stated how it was going to be from now on. Telling Christian there’s nothing between
us isn’t a lie. Not anymore.
He slides his fingers across the counter until they touch mine. “Good.”
“Why is that good?”
The air in the room nearly crackles with tension as he stands and cups my face between his palms. “Because I don’t want you thinking of anyone else when I do this.” His lips part before he kisses me with a degree of tenderness I hadn’t expected.
The kiss deepens, taking my breath with it and I moan against his mouth. All at once everything is Christian, his taste, his scent, and the beat of his heart. I lie to myself, thinking I might be able to bear the loss of my two protectors if I have Christian.
He breaks the kiss and stares into my eyes, warmth and kindness shining in his emerald gaze. But a flame of dark desire burns in his eyes as well. One that speaks of things done in the dark, under the cover of sheets, accented by soft moans and the slide of skin against skin. That thought makes my breath catch and my body respond.
“Maeve—“ he begins, but I step back.
I’m not ready to move this fast, not with my pain from Jensen’s dismissal so fresh, and the way I react to Christian scares me. “I should get back to my room. We have a busy day tomorrow.”
Offering a gentle smile, he nods and takes my hand, placing it in the crook of his arm. “I understand.”
He walks me to my chambers. Anxiety builds in my belly as we approach the doorway. Finn and Jensen aren’t outside. Will they be waiting behind the door? How will I explain this to them?
“No guards?” Christian asks.
“I’m sure they’re inside.”
Cupping my face, he presses a soft kiss to my lips before stepping back. “Until tomorrow,” he murmurs.