Drawn Deeper

by Brenda Rothert

  “Believe me, I understand.”

  Ivy sat forward in her chair. “You probably already know enough about his marriage to Kim. She wasn’t a good wife in any way.”

  “Did you hear what happened?” I asked, my cheeks warming.

  “When?”

  “How Kyle found out she was back?”

  She shook her head.

  I arched my brows and dove right in. “We were . . . Well, there’s no delicate way to say it. I was bent over his kitchen island, if you know what I mean.”

  Her mouth formed an “O” of amusement.

  “Yeah.” I smiled.

  “And she just walked in his house and . . . ?”

  “Yeah . . . walked in and screamed at him and then at me. About how she’s been sick, wants her family back, is broke . . . yada, yada, yada.”

  “Ouch.”

  “It was pretty awful.”

  “Well, they’ve been divorced for almost a year, so she’s delusional for saying she wants her family back. That’s over.”

  I nodded. “But she’s still Jordan and Eric’s mom.”

  “She is. And when I heard it was you who encouraged Kyle to let her see the boys, with ground rules, well . . . that’s what made me come here to see you.”

  “You think that was a bad idea?”

  She smiled. “No. I think you’re pretty amazing. You put Jordan and Eric’s needs first and might have been the only person who could convince Kyle it was the right call. I spend time with the boys, and I know they miss their mom. Flawed as she is, they love her.”

  “That’s nice of you to say about me. It’s nice to know you agree, too. I’m worried about how it will go when they see her.”

  “I need to tell you something, and it may sound more blunt and intrusive than I intend it to.”

  “It’s okay,” I said. “Go ahead.”

  “Kyle asked me and Reed to come over yesterday evening. The boys were out back swimming. That was when he told us about you convincing him to let Kim see the kids. He looked like hell.”

  I sighed sadly. “He has to be a wreck, worrying about what will happen with the boys.”

  “He’s a wreck because he’s worried about what will happen with you.”

  “You think?”

  “I know. He wanted to ask Reed if he had any insight into how you might be feeling right now.”

  “Oh. Well, that’s . . . unexpected. We’ve hardly spoken in the past eight years.”

  “Kyle’s pretty desperate. And I came here to see if his suspicions are right. Are you backing away from him because of Kim?”

  I looked down at my lap. “It’s not because of her, exactly. It’s because I think he needs space to deal with this Kim stuff.”

  “He’s got an outstanding attorney to handle the Kim stuff.”

  I smiled at that. “He does. I just . . . don’t know where I fit in now, you know? Grace just agreed to tolerate me like five minutes ago, and then Kim comes rolling into town with her claws out. And Kyle and I are still a new thing.”

  “What do you want your place to be with him?”

  I took a deep breath and let it out, considering. “I knew what I wanted before she got here. It was what we already had. I wanted to be close to him and the boys and hope that maybe . . . one day, he could love me.”

  My pulse raced as I admitted it. I wanted that more than anything.

  “And now what do you want your place to be?” Ivy asked me.

  “I guess I don’t know what the options are. Is Kim staying here? Because if so, I don’t want it to seem like I’m competing for the boys’ affections.”

  “If she stays here, which is a big if, the best she can hope for is supervised visitation that one day becomes unsupervised. Kyle is very, very unlikely to be forced to share custody with her.”

  I nodded. “That’s good to know.”

  She smiled. “Okay, we’ve arrived at the blunt part I mentioned. Do you love Kyle?”

  My instinct was to deflect or to offer a half answer because of the part of me that still feared rejection. But there was something so genuine about Ivy that I decided to just be honest.

  “Yes.”

  “Then don’t run. He needs you more than ever. That man has never had a woman love him unconditionally. Go over there and tell him that ten thousand rabid ex-wives wouldn’t keep you away from him.”

  “He’s worried I’ll run out on him like I did Reed,” I said, sighing. “But that was so different.”

  “It’s not just your history, but also his. He’s only had a woman who set conditions for everything. He wanted to stay in Lovely, she wanted to move to California. So she made building that house a condition of staying here. If he wanted sex, she wanted plastic surgery.”

  I cringed. Poor Kyle.

  “You get my drift,” she said. “Don’t do this. Don’t tell him you’ll be back if things go a certain way. None of this is his fault.”

  “You’re right.”

  “I agree about you easing back on the boys right now, but not Kyle. I am begging you to go tell that man you’re sticking.” She furrowed her brow. “I mean, if you’re absolutely sure you are.”

  I laughed at her expression. “I’m absolutely sure. I just wasn’t seeing things the right way, but I am now.”

  She breathed out what looked like a sigh of relief and stood up.

  “Thank you,” I said, getting up from my chair and walking around the desk to hug her. “You’re every bit as amazing as everyone says.”

  She laughed and rubbed a hand across my back. “That’s sweet of you.”

  “I’ll go see him . . . soon. Very soon. I think he may have a lot on his mind tonight with the boys seeing Kim, and this conversation needs to be in person. So tomorrow.”

  “Good. And can we keep this conversation just between us?”

  I nodded. “Absolutely. Thank you again.”

  She reached for the door handle and then turned to look at me over her shoulder.

  “So we’re friends now, right?”

  “I hope so,” I said.

  “Good.”

  I held the door as she walked out, slinging her big bag over her shoulder and waving at me.

  I’d owned my past for so long now. It was finally time for me to own my future.

  Kyle

  I cranked up the speed on the treadmill in my home gym, pumping my legs as I broke into a sprint. I was already drenched with sweat from lifting weights, but I still had lots of pent-up energy to burn off.

  The boys had been at Austin’s for their visit with Kim for a little over two hours. I knew that must mean it was going okay, but I wouldn’t breathe easy until they got home and I could talk to them about it.

  I’d been hoping Meredith would change her mind about coming over tonight, but she hadn’t shown up. The only one here besides me was Mason, who was putting the finishing touches on the security system he was installing for me.

  No one would be able to walk into my home unannounced ever again. In the few days I’d had to think about Kim coming back, I’d realized that if Stephanie had been over here babysitting when Kim had shown up, Kim probably could have taken the boys, convincing them—and Stephanie—that it was for a quick joyride. I wouldn’t have put anything past her at this point, and I couldn’t risk my boys’ safety.

  A closely supervised visit was one thing, but Kim being alone with them was another.

  At the sound of running footsteps on the floor above me, I turned off the treadmill and ran upstairs from the basement.

  “Where’s Hagrid?” Eric asked, looking around the kitchen.

  “He’s outside,” I answered, still breathing heavily from sprinting.

  “We made homemade dog treats with Mom and Aunt Hannah,” he said, heading for the door with a handful. “I want to give Hagrid some.”

  Jordan was getting a bottle of water from the fridge.

  “Hey, J, how’d it go?”

  He shrugged. “It was okay.”

>   “Was it good to see her?”

  “Yeah. She’s not drinking anymore.”

  I hoped to hell that would stick.

  “Good for her,” I said, leaning against the kitchen counter.

  Austin walked into the room, and Jordan left, probably to play video games.

  “Hey,” I said to Austin. “You want a drink?”

  “You got a beer?”

  “Nope. Water and juice boxes.”

  He grinned. “Water’s good.”

  “So, it went okay?” I asked him.

  “Yeah. It was good. Hannah thought it might break the ice if she had something for them to do together, so they made dog treats. I just stayed in the other room with Alana.”

  “Kim didn’t mention anything she wasn’t supposed to?”

  “No. She stuck to the boys.”

  I nodded, relieved but still wondering what would happen next.

  “Did she say anything about leaving?” I asked.

  “No. She’s staying with a friend. That’s about all she said.”

  “Thanks for doing this. Tell Hannah thanks, too.”

  He waved dismissively. “We were glad to. Anytime. You need anything else?”

  “I don’t think so.”

  “Okay. I’m taking off, then.”

  Eric came back inside and searched the pantry for a snack. He and Jordan were eating cheese crackers and watching cartoons in the living room when I went in there a few minutes later.

  “Do you guys feel like talking about seeing your mom?” I asked them.

  “What about it?” Jordan said.

  “You know, just . . . how it went and how you’re feeling.”

  “It was fine,” he said.

  “I’m gonna make her a picture,” Eric said. “She said she wants me to draw her a rainbow with a pot of gold.”

  “Okay, that sounds good.”

  I’d been prepared for tears and anger, but not this. It had thrown me for a loop.

  “So if you feel like you need to talk . . . about anything, anytime, you guys know I’m here, right?”

  “Yeah,” Jordan said absently, more focused on Tom and Jerry than me.

  “I’m gonna go take a shower,” I said. “Uncle Mason’s around here somewhere working on the security system.”

  I picked up my phone from the kitchen counter and texted Meredith on the way to the bathroom.

  Me: The boys said they had a good visit with their mom. Austin said there were no issues.

  Meredith: So glad to hear that.

  Me: I’m relieved. What are you up to?

  Meredith: Baking. Always a great idea when it’s ninety degrees outside, right?

  Me: What are you baking?

  Meredith: Banana bread and cookies.

  Me: Just a reminder that I really like banana bread and cookies.

  Meredith: I’ll have to bring some over, then.

  Me: I hope so.

  Meredith: Get some sleep tonight. You must be exhausted.

  I realized she was right—I was.

  Me: I will. Talk soon.

  Meredith: Goodnight.

  The next morning, I dropped the boys off at Reed and Ivy’s house to spend the day with Ivy. I’d given Stephanie the day off of babysitting because I still wasn’t sure what Kim might do.

  After stopping by the floral shop to order Meredith’s flowers, I went to the hospital for a full morning of surgeries.

  I felt slightly back in the swing of things since the boys were doing well. But I was still unsettled over Meredith.

  I needed to convince her that not only did I have room in my life to handle work, the boys, the Kim situation, and my relationship with her—I needed it. Spending time with her every day was important to me, even on the days it was just a few minutes.

  There was a medical student scrubbed in to help with my surgeries today, though she was only observing. Explaining things and doing some stuff more slowly to demonstrate for her put me slightly behind, and it was nearly one p.m. when I left the hospital’s main operating room for the final time.

  My afternoon office appointments didn’t start until two, so I had time to grab lunch. I checked my phone, hoping for a text from Meredith that she’d gotten the flowers, but there wasn’t one.

  When I pushed open the double doors that led to the elevators, Meredith was standing near the wall.

  “Hey,” she said, her smile a little shy.

  “Hey.” Grinning, I pulled off my surgical cap and scooped her into my arms. “You’re a sight for sore eyes.”

  I lifted her feet from the ground and gave her a little spin. She wrapped her arms around my shoulders and hugged me tightly, letting out a small squeal.

  “Thanks for the flowers,” she said in my ear.

  “You’re welcome. I would’ve sent them every day until I saw you, but this is much better.”

  I set her feet back on the floor, and she looked up at me.

  “Did you just drop by to say hi, or do you have time for a quick lunch?” I asked her.

  “Actually, I was . . . watching you.”

  “Watching me?”

  She nodded. “From the window you can watch surgeries from.”

  “I didn’t see you.”

  “Well, it’s so high up, and I was standing in the back of the booth . . . or whatever you call that place.” She tucked her hair behind her ears and smiled nervously. “I just wanted to see you doing what you do, if that makes sense.”

  “That means a lot. Most people can’t stomach watching surgery.”

  “I guess I just want to know everything about you. What you do and how you do it. Because . . . I think I might love you.”

  My lips parted with surprise, and my heart felt like it might jump out of my chest.

  “Meredith—”

  “Sorry.” She closed her eyes, her cheeks reddening. “I didn’t mean to just—”

  The double doors flew open, and two nurses walked out, both laughing.

  “Hey, Dr. Lockhart, are you coming down for lunch?” one of them asked me.

  I shook my head at him and turned back to Meredith.

  “I think I love you, too.” I reached for her hand and brought it to my lips, kissing her knuckles. “Actually, I know I do.”

  She smiled, her eyes sparkling with happiness. “I had to come here to tell you that, and to say that I’m sticking.”

  “Sticking?” I arched my brows with curiosity.

  “Not running. Not even easing slightly away to give you space. I want to be as much a part of your and the boys’ lives as you want me to be.”

  I pulled her back into my arms and lifted her up again, kissing her and then spinning her around again. She cupped my cheeks, giving me the smile that lit up my whole world.

  “I want you to be a very big part of our lives,” I said. “I can’t be impulsive and get married right away or anything because of the boys—”

  “Oh no, I’m not asking you to.” She put her fingertips over my lips, her eyes wide. “I just want to be with you.”

  “I’ll want to get married at some point, though,” I said against her fingers.

  She whipped her hand away from my mouth. “What did you say?”

  “I’ll want to. A real wedding, not some bullshit tiny one since I’m divorced. With the boys in it.”

  Her eyes filled with tears. “I could definitely do that.”

  “And we can have more kids.”

  “You . . . Really? You’re sure?”

  I nodded and set her feet back on the ground. “When we get there. I need more time than a guy without kids might, but I want you to know I’m all in. I want us to have it all—together.”

  Tears fell onto her cheeks, and she wiped them away. “I never thought any of this would happen for me. I mean, I love the boys so much already, but more . . . I’ve always wanted a big family.”

  “I’d like that, too.”

  I kissed her again, then pulled back, remembering the worry that had been
dogging me for days. “So Kim might try to cause problems for us, and I don’t want that to scare you away.”

  “Don’t worry about that. I’ve waited too long to feel this way about someone, and I’m here to stay. I’ve waited my whole life, really.”

  “Me too.”

  “And I’m sticking.”

  “So am I.” I nodded toward the hallway that led to the elevators. “I wish I could take the afternoon off to be with you, but I can’t. Can I interest you in a lunch date in the hospital cafeteria?”

  “Sounds kind of perfect, actually.”

  I took her hand and led her down the hallway.

  Karma had come through in a very big way for me today. But then, I was pretty overdue for that in the love department.

  Meredith

  The morning of April and Mason’s wedding, Kyle woke me up early for our first-ever morning-sex session.

  His hair was a mess and dark stubble coated his face—a look I found very sexy.

  “You’re gonna make me come,” he said, his face a few inches from mine as he fucked me slow and deep.

  “How?” I said breathlessly.

  “That shit with your hips. Fuck.”

  I was on my back in his king-size bed, my arms pinned above my head by one of his hands and his other arm hooked beneath my knee.

  “Come, then,” I said, arching my back to take him just a little deeper.

  “You first.” His voice was strained as he dipped his head to close his lips around my nipple.

  That did it. I cried out and locked my legs around his waist as I came, and with just a few more thrusts, he did the same, saying my name in a deep, satisfied tone that made my toes curl.

  The sound of movement in the room made us both turn toward the door. The boys had spent the night at their grandparents’ house so they could help with wedding preparations last night and this morning.

  Hagrid was prancing into the room, tongue out.

  “What’s he doing out of his kennel?” Kyle said.

  “I let him out after he went outside early this morning.”

  His lips curved into a grin. “Which must have been when you brushed your teeth.”

  “I’m not ready for you to experience my morning breath yet.”

  He got on his side, his head propped up by his hand and his elbow on the bed. “Okay, but I honestly don’t care, Mer.”