Crude: A Stepbrother Romance

by Irons, Aubrey

  And it’s perfect; I know it’s perfect.

  And then, quicker than I’d have ever imagined, I’m finished, and it’s over.

  There’s a beat, an absolute pin-drop silence across the hall. But then the whole thing shatters like glass as the entire place erupts in applause.

  People are cheering - I mean really cheering! Heck, the damn bartender is whooping with his hands high in the air clapping over the crowd.

  It’s like the dream turned real as I stand and give the world’s most awkward wave in the world, which only seems to fan the flames of the applause roaring through the crowd. I’m turning, my face just alive as I search the darkness of the side stage, and then I see him.

  And everything else in the world drops away.

  He’s got a huge grin on his face, his hands rocking together as he hollers my name loudly over the din of the crows. I’m walking towards him, but then he’s walking right out onto the stage to meet me, and it just feels right to jump right into his arms right there on the stage in front of the whole damn crowd. They go crazy, of course, when I wrap my legs round his waist and my arms around his neck, but they go absolutely nuts when I kiss him.

  Right there in front of everyone.

  “Think it’s fair to say you sort of knocked that out of the park, princess,” He murmurs into my lips.

  “You think so?” I say, grinning as I mash my lips to his, grabbing him by the hair as I melt against him.

  “I think you should probably take another bow so I can drag you off this stage and tear your clothes off, actually.”

  I grin as I pull away from him, stepping back down to my feet. I turn, my hand in his, and beam at the roaring, wildly cheering crowd. I’m on top of the world as I start to bow, and then the house lights must come up just a bit, because suddenly I can see the crowd a little better.

  And I just freeze.

  Because right there, two rows back in the very middle of the crowd, is my dad.

  His eyes are piercing, darting between Knox and I. And then he’s shaking his head at me, shaking his head as he turns and starts to push his way through the crowd to the back of the venue.

  And absolutely everything just comes crashing down.

  It’s every bit as bad as you’d think it would be.

  Worse, actually.

  When the lights come up and my eyes lock on Joe, standing there looking at the two of us up there like that, it’s like a slug to the gut.

  But it doesn’t hurt because of me, it’s because of Paige.

  It’s that look of utter and crushing disappointment as he looks at her and just shakes his head like that before walking away. I mean he must have heard her play if he was that close to stage, right? And how could anyone - least of all a fucking parent - have anything but joy and amazement in them after seeing something like that? I mean even as she pushes past me and runs off the stage, these people are still going absolutely ape shit.

  And then of course, I’m running after.

  The scene in the parking lot is awful; there’s really no other way to put it. She’s crying and Joe’s red in the face, screaming at her; “You lied to me, Paige!”

  “Dad! I just-”

  “NO!” His voice booms across the empty parking lot; “No, Paige! You ruined your chances,” He looks up at me as I come up on them, his eyes full of fury; “And you ruined them for him!” He roars, stabbing his finger at me.

  “I wanted better for you, Paige!” She’s crying, and I take step towards her but Joe whirls on me, his teeth bared and his eyes wild as she shakes his head at me before turning back to her; “You are going to Columbia, and you’re getting the hell away from here and from boys like him!” He stabs his finger at me again, and I can feel every fighting muscle tensing, every sparking synapse in my body firing.

  “Dad!” Tears stream down her face; “Dad he’s- I mean I-”

  “Do not say it! Do not even say it, Paige!”

  It’s more than I can take, and I move towards her before Joe jumps between us, getting right in my face and letting me feel the full wrath of his ferocity; “You stay the fuck away from my daughter, do you understand me?”

  He grabs Paige and yanks her towards his car, and she’s turning, her face streaked with tears as she looks back at me once more before he pulls her into the car.

  And then they’re driving away.

  Shit.

  Shit-shit-shit-shit-shit.

  *****

  “I’ve made a decision.”

  If the parking lot back at the concert was bad, the scene back home was a fucking war zone. Everyone - literally everyone - is screaming when I roar into the driveway on my bike and walk into a scene out of a nightmare. Paige is screaming at her dad, Joe’s screaming at her, my mom is screaming at him and he’s screaming right back. And of course, me walking in during all that is just throwing a stick of dynamite into it, and the whole thing just goes nuclear.

  It’s later, after Joe’s separated us - by force, I might add - that he’s here in my room in the west wing of the house, glowering down at me sitting hunched on the edge of my bed.

  “Since you’re not doing shit with your life, I’m going to do it for you, Knox.”

  I’m blinking back the anger and the sting of tears in my eyes as I snarl up at him; “You’re not my fucking fath-”

  “I KNOW THAT,” He booms. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before he opens them and looks right at me; “But I love your mother, and that means I need to deal with you.”

  I roll my eyes; “Right, deal with me.” I sneer at him; “Fuck you.”

  He narrows his eyes at me; “You can be mad; that’s fine. But I think I’ve got every right to be protective of my daughter.”

  He may have a point; not that I’m going to give him that here and now.

  “At some point,” He says, his voice softer, “You’re going to have to stop trying to fight the whole damn world, son.”

  “Don’t call me that.”

  “Fine, Knox; I’ve made my decision.”

  I look up at him, my jaw tight and my eyes narrowed.

  “You’re going to Alaska.”

  I snort; “The fuck I-”

  “And while you’re at our processing facility up there in the oil sands, you’re going to be hands-on with my managing partner up there, Brian.”

  It feels like I’m drowning in shallow, freezing water, and I hear the sentence that my as well be a death on being passed down from King Joe.

  He’s not done; “You’re going to learn this business, Knox.”

  “You can’t just force me to work up in-”

  “You’ll be paid-”

  “I don’t want your fucking money.”

  Joe slams his fist against the door behind him, jerking my attention back to him; “There will be a job waiting for you at McCauley oil; a good one, Knox.”

  Our eyes meet, trading glares and heat at each other, and I know it all stems from her.

  From Paige.

  “I’m offering you a future, you know,” He says evenly to me; “You’re a smart kid; I know you know that even if you make it your mission to act otherwise.” His look softens; “It’s a good job; great pay, great benefits, and options to move to any of our overseas offices.” His jaw tightens again; “But you will go to Alaska,” He takes a deep breath; “And you will never contact my daughter again. Is that understood.”

  My head drops as I hear his words as if underwater. It feels like the floor is shattering beneath my feet as I just stare at the carpet between us, letting his words burn their way into my heart.

  “I said is that understood?”

  I raise my eyes to his, shaking my head; “She’s an adul-”

  “AND I’M HER FATHER.”

  And it’s right then that I know I’ve lost; I know it’s all over and the war’s been won.

  “Yes.”

  “Yes what.”

  I let my breath and the last of my fight out through my lips; “Yes, sir.
” I clear my throat; “When do I-”

  “Oh, leave?” Joe’s hand is on the bedroom door, and he turns back to look me right in the eyes; “The day after tomorrow. In less than 48 hours, you’re out of this house and growing the hell up.”

  I stare at him, words just failing me; “What?”

  “Pack a jacket, Knox; Alaska gets cold in the fall.”

  It’s not just the injustice of it all that hurts, it’s that I know my dad is right. Deep down, he’s right, about all of it. About me, my future, and about Knox.

  And that hurts.

  I mean, I get it. I’m young, but I’m not stupid, and I certainly understand how this plays out. I understand that I’m eighteen, I’m going across the country to college in three weeks, and I have this whole world ahead of me. Three week and all this will all be behind me.

  Behind us.

  Because Knox will move on after all of this; I know he will.

  Well, maybe that’s what hurts the most; the overwhelming fear that maybe I’ve been needing him more than he needed me. The thought that after this, there’ll be some other girl that needs rescuing is like a knife twisting inside.

  Yeah, that hurts, but I know it’s true.

  And that knife is still twisting later, when I’ve got my head in a book. I’m hardly reading the words at all, and instead my blurry eyes are just skimming the same lines over and over again. All I can think about is the high and the utter low of this night; how things could peak so incredibly in that one perfect moment on stage where I had it all, only to crash to the boom and lose everything.

  Everything like Knox.

  As if on cue, there’s a knock at the door; “Paige.”

  It’s Knox.

  “Go away, Knox.” I can’t have him here; not now, not after everything that’s happened tonight. And that’s what kills me inside, but I know if I let him in here, or even let him linger on the other side of that door, I’ll break. I’ll ignore every warning, break every rule I need to set, and go crashing into him.

  I know my dad is right; Knox and I are on different paths.

  “Paige, just listen to me for a sec,” his voice is hushed and strained; “I’m not supposed to be talking-”

  “Then why are you?” I’m willing my voice not to crack, desperately trying to keep it on pitch.

  Don’t cry, not when he’s this close.

  I get up from my bed and move to the door, gently locking it and wincing at the sound of his swear on the other side; “Paige, I’m sorry. I’m so fucking s-’

  “No you’re not.” I can feel my heart breaking as I say the words, the tears dropping down my cheeks as I force myself to keep my voice together; “You don’t know what it’s like. You don’t know what this all is.”

  “Paige, I get it-”

  “You don’t, Knox.”

  There’s silence on the other side of the door, and I lean my forehead against it, listening to the sound of his breathing.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Not as much as me,” I whisper, squeezing my eyes shut.

  “You’re stronger than this, Paige,” He says tightly; “You’re-”

  “This is me, Knox!” I can feel myself start to come undone, and I know the dam is about to collapse as the tears brim across my eyes; “And this was just an experiment, remember?”

  “Damnit, Paige!” His fist slams against the doorframe, making me wince and squeeze my eyes shut again.

  “And its over, Knox. The experiment is over. I’m going to New York, and you’re-”

  “I’m going to Alaska, Paige.”

  I freeze, blinking back tears and feeling my heart drop; “What?”

  “Your father, he-“ He sighs; “I’m going to Alaska to work at the oil sands.”

  I can feel the color leaving my face, the room starting to spin around me; I could go with him. I could make my choice right now and choose him. It’d be so easy to just open this door and say yes.

  It’s a glimmer through the clouds, but I know it's an empty one. I know the decision has already been made.

  “And with my mom, and your dad, and-” he falters; “and you, and the wedding and all that, it’s just probably best.”

  I close my eyes, letting my head drop against the door.

  “It’s probably just best if I go.”

  Please don’t, I want to scream. I want to tear the door off its hinges and dive into his arms, and wrap myself in his scent and his warmth and his love.

  Love?

  Oh, God, I’m making a terrible mistake aren’t I?

  “Paige?”

  I can’t even answer, because I know I’ll break.

  “I leave the day after tomorrow,” He says softly.

  And then the tears come. I’m crying into my hands, trying to stifle my sobbing and sniffling, but I know he hears it.

  “Fuck, Paige-” His hand on the doorknob, rattling it. And I could unlock it, but…

  But I know I won't. I know I can't.

  “Goodbye, Knox.”

  I’m on my knees, crying, when I hear the last words I ever wanted to hear from him; “Goodbye, Paige.”

  *****

  I’m still crying softly into my pillow later when the knock comes on my door.

  “Go away, Knox!”

  “Paige?”

  “Dad?” I say, lifting my face from my soggy pillow and wiping my eyes off witht the back of my hand.

  “Can I come in, honey?”

  His face looks drawn and tired when I open the door for him, his eyes sad; “Got a minute?”

  I shrug, still not able to meet his gaze since that horrible moment on the stage, before I step back into my room and nod.

  “There’s a lot I need to tell you, honey-”

  “Dad, I get it, OK? It’s over, between me and-” I break off my words as I shake my head and slide back onto my bed, curling my knees up to my chin.

  “No, not that,” He says quietly, his brow knitting; “Things I’ve never told you but probably should have a long time ago.” He sits at the foot of my bed, and even if I’m not sure I can do this right now, I steel myself for a lesson in how I’ve been messing up, and why my future is important.

  But instead, my dad just looks up and smiles at me; “But first, I need to tell you how proud I am of you.”

  Huh?

  “Paige, you were truly amazing tonight up on that stage.”

  My jaw drops as I stare at him; what?

  “I should’ve told you that a long time ago, actually. You’re so very talented, honey, and so brave to go up on that stage like that.