A Laodicean : A Story of To-day

by Thomas Hardy

  VIII.

  It was quite true that De Stancy at the present period of his existencewished only to escape from the hurly-burly of active life, and to winthe affection of Paula Power. There were, however, occasions when arecollection of his old renunciatory vows would obtrude itself upon him,and tinge his present with wayward bitterness. So much was this the casethat a day or two after they had arrived at Mainz he could not refrainfrom making remarks almost prejudicial to his cause, saying to her, 'Iam unfortunate in my situation. There are, unhappily, worldly reasonswhy I should pretend to love you, even if I do not: they are so strongthat, though really loving you, perhaps they enter into my thoughts ofyou.'

  'I don't want to know what such reasons are,' said Paula, withpromptness, for it required but little astuteness to discover that healluded to the alienated Wessex home and estates. 'You lack tone,' shegently added: 'that's why the situation of affairs seems distasteful toyou.'

  'Yes, I suppose I am ill. And yet I am well enough.'

  These remarks passed under a tree in the public gardens during an oddminute of waiting for Charlotte and Mrs. Goodman; and he said no more toher in private that day. Few as her words had been he liked them betterthan any he had lately received. The conversation was not resumed tillthey were gliding 'between the banks that bear the vine,' on board oneof the Rhine steamboats, which, like the hotels in this early summertime, were comparatively free from other English travellers; so thateverywhere Paula and her party were received with open arms and cheerfulcountenances, as among the first swallows of the season.

  The saloon of the steamboat was quite empty, the few passengers beingoutside; and this paucity of voyagers afforded De Stancy a roomyopportunity.

  Paula saw him approach her, and there appearing in his face signs thathe would begin again on the eternal subject, she seemed to be struckwith a sense of the ludicrous.

  De Stancy reddened. 'Something seems to amuse you,' he said.

  'It is over,' she replied, becoming serious.

  'Was it about me, and this unhappy fever in me?'

  'If I speak the truth I must say it was.'

  'You thought, "Here's that absurd man again, going to begin his dailysupplication."'

  'Not "absurd,"' she said, with emphasis; 'because I don't think it isabsurd.'

  She continued looking through the windows at the Lurlei Heights underwhich they were now passing, and he remained with his eyes on her.

  'May I stay here with you?' he said at last. 'I have not had a word withyou alone for four-and-twenty hours.'

  'You must be cheerful, then.'

  'You have said such as that before. I wish you would say "loving"instead of "cheerful."'

  'Yes, I know, I know,' she responded, with impatient perplexity. 'Butwhy must you think of me--me only? Is there no other woman in the worldwho has the power to make you happy? I am sure there must be.'

  'Perhaps there is; but I have never seen her.'

  'Then look for her; and believe me when I say that you will certainlyfind her.'

  He shook his head.

  'Captain De Stancy, I have long felt for you,' she continued, with afrank glance into his face. 'You have deprived yourself too long ofother women's company. Why not go away for a little time? and whenyou have found somebody else likely to make you happy, you can meet meagain. I will see you at your father's house, and we will enjoy all thepleasure of easy friendship.'

  'Very correct; and very cold, O best of women!'

  'You are too full of exclamations and transports, I think!'

  They stood in silence, Paula apparently much interested in themanoeuvring of a raft which was passing by. 'Dear Miss Power,' heresumed, 'before I go and join your uncle above, let me just ask, Do Istand any chance at all yet? Is it possible you can never be more pliantthan you have been?'

  'You put me out of all patience!'

  'But why did you raise my hopes? You should at least pity me after doingthat.'

  'Yes; it's that again! I unfortunately raised your hopes because I wasa fool--was not myself that moment. Now question me no more. As it is Ithink you presume too much upon my becoming yours as the consequence ofmy having dismissed another.'

  'Not on becoming mine, but on listening to me.'

  'Your argument would be reasonable enough had I led you to believe Iwould listen to you--and ultimately accept you; but that I have notdone. I see now that a woman who gives a man an answer one shade lessperemptory than a harsh negative may be carried beyond her intentions,and out of her own power before she knows it.'

  'Chide me if you will; I don't care!'

  She looked steadfastly at him with a little mischief in her eyes. 'YouDO care,' she said.

  'Then why don't you listen to me? I would not persevere for a momentlonger if it were against the wishes of your family. Your uncle says itwould give him pleasure to see you accept me.'

  'Does he say why?' she asked thoughtfully.

  'Yes; he takes, of course, a practical view of the matter; he thinks itcommends itself so to reason and common sense that the owner of StancyCastle should become a member of the De Stancy family.'

  'Yes, that's the horrid plague of it,' she said, with a nonchalancewhich seemed to contradict her words. 'It is so dreadfully reasonablethat we should marry. I wish it wasn't!'

  'Well, you are younger than I, and perhaps that's a natural wish. But tome it seems a felicitous combination not often met with. I confess thatyour interest in our family before you knew me lent a stability to myhopes that otherwise they would not have had.'

  'My interest in the De Stancys has not been a personal interest exceptin the case of your sister,' she returned. 'It has been an historicalinterest only; and is not at all increased by your existence.'

  'And perhaps it is not diminished?'

  'No, I am not aware that it is diminished,' she murmured, as sheobserved the gliding shore.

  'Well, you will allow me to say this, since I say it without referenceto your personality or to mine--that the Power and De Stancy familiesare the complements to each other; and that, abstractedly, they callearnestly to one another: "How neat and fit a thing for us to joinhands!"'

  Paula, who was not prudish when a direct appeal was made to her commonsense, answered with ready candour: 'Yes, from the point of view ofdomestic politics, that undoubtedly is the case. But I hope I am not socalculating as to risk happiness in order to round off a social idea.'

  'I hope not; or that I am either. Still the social idea exists, and myincreased years make its excellence more obvious to me than to you.'

  The ice once broken on this aspect of the question, the subject seemedfurther to engross her, and she spoke on as if daringly inclined toventure where she had never anticipated going, deriving pleasure fromthe very strangeness of her temerity: 'You mean that in the fitness ofthings I ought to become a De Stancy to strengthen my social position?'

  'And that I ought to strengthen mine by alliance with the heiress of aname so dear to engineering science as Power.'

  'Well, we are talking with unexpected frankness.'

  'But you are not seriously displeased with me for saying what, afterall, one can't help feeling and thinking?'

  'No. Only be so good as to leave off going further for the present.Indeed, of the two, I would rather have the other sort of address. Imean,' she hastily added, 'that what you urge as the result of a realaffection, however unsuitable, I have some remote satisfaction inlistening to--not the least from any reciprocal love on my side, butfrom a woman's gratification at being the object of anybody's devotion;for that feeling towards her is always regarded as a merit in a woman'seye, and taken as a kindness by her, even when it is at the expense ofher convenience.'

  She had said, voluntarily or involuntarily, better things than heexpected, and perhaps too much in her own opinion, for she hardly gavehim an opportunity of replying.

  They passed St. Goar and Boppard, and when steering round the sharpbend of the river just beyond the latter place De Stancy me
t her again,exclaiming, 'You left me very suddenly.'

  'You must make allowances, please,' she said; 'I have always stood inneed of them.'

  'Then you shall always have them.'

  'I don't doubt it,' she said quickly; but Paula was not to be caughtagain, and kept close to the side of her aunt while they glided pastBrauback and Oberlahnstein. Approaching Coblenz her aunt said, 'Paula,let me suggest that you be not so much alone with Captain De Stancy.'

  'And why?' said Paula quietly.

  'You'll have plenty of offers if you want them, without taking trouble,'said the direct Mrs. Goodman. 'Your existence is hardly known to theworld yet, and Captain De Stancy is too near middle-age for a girl likeyou.' Paula did not reply to either of these remarks, being seemingly sointerested in Ehrenbreitstein's heights as not to hear them.