Like a bunch of zombies, all the vampires stood back up. Well, all of them except for Sylvester, of course.
After a few moments, Elaine and the rest of the djinn heaved and opened their eyes in shock. I grabbed her before she fell over, but many of her underlings hit the ground. Obviously, Sylvester’s poison ran deeper than just blood.
“Are you okay?” I asked, to which Elaine nodded as she blinked a few times. “I’m guessing you can’t cure them?”
She shook her head. Her face and coloring told me I was about to have fresh puke on my shoes. I turned her at the last second and she horked all over Sylvester.
“That’s disgusting,” he railed, but he still maintained his fetal position.
The doors kicked open a second later and in came Serena and Warren. They were both holding what looked like automatic weapons.
“Get down, Chief,” yelled Warren. “We’ve got this.”
“No!” yelled Chuck as my wizard and forensics expert began firing.
Griff launched himself at Chuck, knocking his partner to the ground as the rest of us, djinn included, all hit the deck.
“Stop!” I commanded through the connector at Serena. “Stop firing right now!”
She did.
But it was too late.
All of the vampires were down.
CHAPTER 36
“What have you done?” Chuck stammered, staring at the fallen bodies. “They’re your own people, Serena!”
Before she could respond, a few of the vampires began moving around.
“What happened?” said one of them.
“Where am I?” said another.
Within thirty seconds, they were all awake and looking around like a bunch of people who had just roused from a night of heavy drinking.
I tilted my head at my two gun-wielding agents. “Serena?”
She walked over and set down the gun. Then she took out a small, pellet-sized projectile from her pocket, and handed it over to me. It looked kind of like a BB, but it was red instead of copper.
“When we got back to the shop,” she explained, “Warren and I immediately started working on the blood we’d taken from the werebear and the werewolf. Using Warren’s magic and my healing capabilities, we were able to synthesize an anti-venom.” She took a breath. “Then we brought in Turbo and got him working. Fortunately, he had already been developing these little pellets, so it was somewhat serendipitous that he had them ready to test just as we needed them.”
“Nice,” I said, smiling big. “So, everyone here is cured, then?”
“They should be,” she answered.
Chuck, clearly unable to contain himself, reached out and gave both Serena and Warren a big hug.
“Any permanent damage to your guys?” I asked Elaine. “It appears we have a cure, if so.”
“No, no,” she answered with a wave of her hand. “We were just mentally blocked by the vampires. A block like that feels like you’ve smacked your head against a brick wall. We’ll be fine.”
“Great.” I took a deep breath and put my hands on my hips. “Well, it looks like this little fiasco is over.”
And that’s when Sylvester did something I didn’t realize he was capable of.
He made some weird sign with his free hand—the other was holding his damaged junk.
A blue light surrounded him almost instantly.
Then he disappeared.
But not before grabbing my leg.
Meaning, I ended up going with him.
CHAPTER 37
M y vision was blurred when I came to. I tried to shake it, but it took a lot of effort. When I went to rub my eyes, I found that I was tightly chained in the shape of an X.
“What the shit is going on?” I mumbled, each word resulting in a pounding sensation in my head. “Did you do this to me, Sly?”
In response, I felt the sting of a very hard slap across my cheek.
“Don’t call me that name again,” Sylvester warned.
“Damn. Sorry, Sly…erm, Sylvester.” I then spit out some blood and waited for my head to stop buzzing. “Where are we?”
“In my lair.”
“Well, that’s ominous.”
“You will either turn here or you will die, Officer Dex.” His voice was laced with a venom that was even nastier than the kind he passed to his victims. “You will be mine.”
“I already told you that I’m not into dudes, Sly.”
He slapped me again.
I spit again.
“You’re really going to have to quit hitting, dude.”
“Or what?”
Even though I felt pretty dizzy, I replied with, “Or I’ll have to kill you.”
He sniffed at that and I saw the blurred image of him walking away.
My eyes didn’t sting or anything, but it sure felt like there was some type of gel on them. I slammed my eyelids shut and moved my eyes back and forth rapidly, trying to loosen whatever it was that had been stopping me from seeing clearly.
It didn’t work.
“Could you at least tell me what’s in my eyes?”
He giggled like a deranged person.
“I shot my venom all over you.”
“That sounds dirty, Sly,” I pointed out, then I flinched. “Wait, you do literally mean venom, right? You didn’t tug your banana on me while I was out, did you?”
There was a delay in his response.
“Oh, shit,” I said, feeling disgusted. “I can’t believe you, man! You don’t go whipping off on a dude while—”
“Officer Dex,” he interrupted with a bark, “I did not do any such thing. Just because you are a juvenile-minded twit, does not mean everyone is.”
I sighed with relief.
“Thank goodness.” I laughed a bit. “I gotta tell ya, Sly, I was about to puke right then.”
“You’re a very sick man, Officer Dex.”
“Says the guy who squirted his venom all over me,” I remarked.
I tried pulling against the chains, but they were too tight. I could barely even move an inch. Not being able to see didn’t help matters either. It was a bit odd that the venom wasn’t stinging my eyes, though. I would have imagined it would be quite stingy indeed.
“So what’s the plan?” I asked.
“I’ve already told you, Officer Dex.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” I droned in response. “You’ll either turn me gay or kill me.”
“What?” he hissed. “No. I did not say I was going to try and turn you gay…” I heard his foot tapping. “You’re trying to get a rise out of me again.”
I chuckled at his phrasing.
“Honestly, you are a child.”
“Better than being an adult,” I said with a grin, looking in the general direction of his voice. “In all seriousness, though, I’m going to have to kill you now.”
“And how do you propose to accomplish that?”
“Magic.”
“Ah, right. Magic. Why hadn’t I thought of that?”
That was the problem. He hadn’t. His sarcastic tone made that abundantly clear.
I turned my attention inward, unleashing a vent of energy that I channeled into my bloodstream. It was magic and I was controlling it. Gone were the days of only being able to cast little light spells. I was now directing and manipulating the fabric of power to suit my needs, and my current need was to clear my eyes.
Okay, so doing that did sting.
But I merely clenched my teeth until the pain subsided.
I slowly opened my eyes and found everything was clear again. That was pretty incredible since I didn’t even know I could…
Wait a second. If I could clear the venom from my eyes, shouldn’t I also be able to clear it from the rest of my body?
It was worth a shot.
“Officer Dex,” Sylvester spoke up, interrupting my desire to attempt ridding myself of his venom, “I believe that you are now under my control, yes?”
“Uh…” If I said I was, he might unchain me. “Let
me check. Yep. I totally am.”
“Hmmm.” He placed his hands on his little metal desk. It looked kind of like a metal table that you put your dog on at the vet. “Ah well. I suppose I will just have to run this little show without you.”
“No, seriously, Sly…erm, Sylvester. I’m totally under your control.”
He lifted up a long knife from the metal desk and began walking toward me.
Now, just so you know, I wasn’t a fan of knives. I’d been punched, kicked, shot, given a wedgie, and even had my head dunked in a toilet (long story), and all of them sucked, but being stabbed was the worst.
“All right, boss,” I said, as the energy began to build up in my veins again. “What say we put the knife down, eh? No reason to go stabbing people. It’s not nice.”
“You may have noticed, Officer Dex, that I have little desire to be nice.” He ran the dull side of the blade across my neck. “It’s such a shame to have to spill your blood. You have incredible potential.” He shrugged and frowned. “Alas, it is what it is.”
He pulled the knife back and smiled sinisterly.
“Nope,” I stated as the power that had been welling up unleashed through my eyes like a couple of suns.
Smoldering had nothing on this shit.
Sylvester dropped the knife and flew backwards as if he’d been hit by a tsunami. He crashed against the table, bending at an odd angle in the process before collapsing to the floor.
I quickly channeled the energy pouring from my eyes into my wrists and ankles instead. It resulted in shattering the cuffs that held me in place. Then I stepped away from the X and walked over to the uber vampire. A gentle kick told me he was still unconscious.
Good.
It was about time I had my hands on one of these uber pricks.
“Well, that sounded wrong,” I said to the room.
CHAPTER 38
I ’d attempted using my magic to clear the venom from my system, but it didn’t work. Worse, every time I tried, I blacked out.
Obviously that was some strong venom.
When Sylvester regained consciousness, he opened his eyes to see me sitting in front of him. I’d put his ass up on the X just like he’d done to me originally. Unfortunately, I’d blown apart the cuffs, but I’d found some rope and tied him up nicely.
Evil overlord-wannabes almost always had rope lying around.
“What happened?” he slurred.
“The tables have turned,” I explained. “I have shot my venom on you this time.”
His eyes snapped open at that. “What?”
“I’m joking, Sly,” I said with a laugh. “Only a dude with a one-inch dick would do something like that, you know?”
“Oh, good…. Wait, what?”
I got off the chair that I’d pulled over and started walking around the X. He struggled against the binds, but it was abundantly clear that he didn’t have the power I possessed. Still, I couldn’t blame the guy for trying.
“Now, here’s how it’s going to go, Sly,” I said, flashing the very knife he had planned to do me in with. “You’re going to tell me what I want to know. In exchange, I won’t kill you.”
“You won’t?” he asked hopefully.
I gave him a serious look. “You have my word, Sly.” I raised an eyebrow at him. “I will send you on a long vacation to a five-by-four room with bunkbeds and a guy name Al who will probably want to play a game of poke-the-bottom with you, but that’s better than dying.” I rubbed my chin. “I guess.” Then I shrugged as if it didn’t really matter to me. “Anyway, my first question is how you transferred us to your lair?”
“Oh, that’s easy,” he replied, acting like Mr. Helpful all of a sudden. “I had the goblin mage infuse me with the ability.” He grunted. “Took him forever, let me tell you. Apparently, things like that are better suited for wizards.”
“Yep.” I paced in front of him. “All right, so how is it that you have been able to give extra powers to everyone you’ve bitten?”
He winced, looking suddenly uncomfortable.
“It’s…part…of…my…venom.” Each word was said with effort. “It…enhances…things.”
So that meant it was similar to whatever happened to PPD officers when they got their upgrades, but better. Well, depending on your perspective, anyway. PPD officers weren’t enslaved by the department, even if it felt like it sometimes.
“Where’s the wizard chick who helped you talk with Spunx?”
“Spunx?”
“I meant Spanx,” I clarified. “I’m talking about the goblin you contacted from the Netherworld and sent off to New York-New York for a little fun.”
“Ah,” he said, nodding. “Kaitlin Fezzmul. She was a goody two-shoes, actually. Didn’t…want to help me out, but it’s…amazing what you can get people to do when…” He groaned, apparently feeling more anguish over having to spill his guts. Once his discomfort cleared, he smirked like an evil piece of cock bologna and looked up at me. “I had to kill her. Couldn’t leave a trail, you know? Her screams were so…pleasing.”
I stopped pacing.
“You’re a foreskin pimple, you know that, Sly?” I said rhetorically, wanting to slap him.
So I did.
He yelped.
“Now,”—I got in close and snarled at him—“you must have knowledge about the ubers, and I want to know what you know right the fuck now.”
His face turned red and he scrunched his eyes. The look of discomfort from before was nothing compared to how he appeared now. Sylvester had the look of a man who had been struck with a severe migraine.
“What’s the matter, Sly?”
“My head,” he moaned. “What…are you doing…to me?”
“I’m not doing anything to you,” I replied. “I just want to know what you know about the other ubernaturals. Tell me and things go easier on you with the Tribunal.”
“Okay,” he cried in anguish. His breathing was shallow and rapid. “We…were…all…part…of an…” His breath caught and his eyes snapped open. They were completely black, and they were bulging. “No! No! Ahhh!”
And that’s when I got covered in brain goop.
CHAPTER 39
T he Directors arrived a few minutes after I did. They were usually already there when I walked in, so this was a little strange. But they’d been a bit odd ever since the ubers started invading the Strip.
After about five minutes, they finally arrived.
“We’re sorry to have kept you waiting, Mr. Dex,” said O.
“Why are you apologizing to him?” asked Silver. “He works for us.”
“Because it’s common courtesy, Silver.”
Silver seemed on edge, which made sense seeing that it was a vampire uber we had dealt with this time.
“Tell us what happened, Mr. Dex,” he demanded.
I detailed a carefully worded version of the story to him, including how the djinn helped to neutralize the vampires, and how Elaine Kouross and her crew should be honored. I also discussed how Serena, Warren, and Turbo had worked together to cure the vampires who were infected and enslaved. I left the parts out regarding the changes to my person, though, especially knowing that EQK was suspicious of me already.
“Did you get his name?” Silver asked.
“Sylvester Melbourne.”
Another round of silence.
It was almost humorous at this point. Whenever I named the last few ubers, these guys went quiet and then they started griping at each other before they abruptly left the meeting.
This time I was going to try a different tactic.
“Anyway,” I started, “I wanted to apologize to EQGay for not being more direct with him last time we met.”
“Huh?” replied EQK, not bothered by my using a derivative version of his name.
“At our last meeting,” I clarified. “I was not feeling well and so I didn’t treat you with the proper respect.”
“You feeling okay, Wrong-Sex Dex?” EQK asked, sounding baffled.
/>
“Better now, you winged butt plug.”
“Good, good.”
I sensed that O wanted to chastise me for calling EQK a name, but he had no legs to stand on. I’d claimed that it was part of my one-person culture to call people names. What could he say?
“So,” Silver began, sounding like he knew I was up to something, “you’re not going to question us about Sylvester Melbourne?”
“No, sir,” I replied. “I understand that you can’t share information, so there’s really no point in my pressing the issue.”
“I see,” he replied dubiously. Then he added, “Actually, no I don’t. You’ve been complaining like a school child for the last number of meetings, and now you’ve suddenly just accepted your fate?”
“He said he has, you fanged knob thumper,” EQK blurted, coming to my defense, exactly as I was hoping he would.
“Excuse me?” Silver said at length.
“You’re excused,” EQK replied. “Don’t worry about him, Dexnose, he’s just angry because his wife found out he fucks goats.”
“I…what?”
I couldn’t see any of them, of course, but I could imagine the three older dudes on my left side of the podium staring incredulously at the pixie on the right. It was all I could do not to laugh.
“Wait a second, Fang Face,” said EQK, “are you telling me you didn’t tell your wife you fuck goats?”
“Of course I didn’t!”
“Ahhh, probably wise,” mused EQK. “She may not understand, after all. Yep, that’s a smart move all around, I’d say.”
There was a moment of silence.
“You are merely trying to get a rise out of me, EQK,” Silver grated.
“Like the goats do, you mean?”
“I do not have relations with goats!”
“Finally moved on to sheep, eh?” EQK replied. I had to cover my mouth because the smiling could not be stopped. “Goats do seem a little unrefined for you, to be honest, but I just thought you were into sexually slumming it.”
“You’re a fool,” Silver hissed.
“By the way,” EQK said like a friend giving advice, “you may want to wash thoroughly after you bone livestock, you fiendish fanged one. I hear that werewolves can smell sheep ass on your dick.” After a quick pause, he added, “Just ask Zack, he sniffs dicks all the time.”
The Ian Dex Supernatural Thriller Series: Books 5 - 7 (Las Vegas Paranormal Police Department Box Sets Book 2) Page 25