“What?” yelped Zack.
That’s when the sound of a hand slammed on the top of a desk. It came from the center of the room, meaning it was O.
“Enough!” he bellowed. “This lack of professionalism is ridiculous. I don’t care what your personal cultural norms are, EQK, if you don’t respect those on this board I will request your removal.”
“All right, all right,” EQK boomed in response. “Sheesh! You act like it’s my fault that Silver fucks sheep and Zack sniffs dicks!”
I laughed.
Sometimes you just can’t help it. It took me about a minute to regain control. Finally, I climbed back into my chair and wiped my eyes.
“Are you through, Mr. Dex?” asked O in a dark tone.
“Yes, sir,” I replied, fighting the laughter. “Sorry.”
O sighed heavily. “Is there anything else you need from us today?”
Here was my shot. Griping, moaning, and complaining at them about general details hadn’t worked. I was hoping that a direct question regarding a facet of an uber’s powers might.
“I was wondering if any of you might know how Mr. Melbourne’s venom was able to increase powers for supernaturals?”
“He was genetically tweaked,” EQK answered.
“EQK!” Zack bellowed.
“Zack!” mocked EQK in response.
“You’re out of control.”
“Says the guy who pees on fire hydrants.”
They started bickering back and forth, but I’d tuned them out. My plan had worked. Getting EQK on my side caused him to respond as he would to a peer. So these ubers were genetically altered also?
“Excuse me,” I yelled above the din, silencing them. “Are the ubers all past cops?”
“That’s enough for today,” O said before anyone could answer me.
Three of the lights went out.
O’s remained.
“I’m not happy with what you’ve just done, Mr. Dex,” he said evenly.
“And what is that, exactly?”
“You manipulated this panel to get information that you knew was classified,” he replied. “I will be placing a formal reprimand on your record.”
I nodded. “So does that mean they were past cops?”
“Good day, Mr. Dex.”
CHAPTER 40
T he Three Angry Wives Pub wasn’t exactly teeming with action. Seeing that it was a Wednesday, I wasn’t surprised. Hump day was often slow for most places on the outskirts of town.
I snagged a booth and ordered a Rusty Nail.
It was usually about now that Gabe walked through the door, gave me some advice, slipped me one of his fancy Words, and then bolted before answering any of my questions.
But this time, he didn’t.
An hour passed and he was still nowhere to be seen.
I ordered some wings and tore through them. After the day I’d had, I needed some serious grub. I still wanted that Big Ass Burrito from Tommy Rocker’s, but Gabe didn’t frequent that place. Besides, it was tradition to show up here whenever I finished a case. I wasn’t one who subscribed to superstition, but I did believe in patterns.
Gabe, apparently, felt differently.
Three hours in, it was clear that Gabe wasn’t going to show. I don’t know why, but I kind of felt that I should have expected it. Apparently, when he said he was out of Words for me, that was code for "Bye-bye, Ian."
It kind of bummed me out, to be honest. There was something nice about having someone outside of the PPD to talk to about stuff, even if it was only for a few minutes at a shot. Yeah, there was always Dr. Vernon, but it just wasn’t the same.
I paid the check and walked to the door, giving one final scan around the room.
“Right,” I said as I pushed out into the night.
CHAPTER 41
“So he never showed up?” Rachel asked as I stared down at her back. “That’s odd.”
“Very,” I agreed, “but can we not talk about Gabe right now?”
She was tied to the bed, facedown, and I was wearing a mask and holding a whip. It felt odd for me to be in this position. It was a role-reversal, after all.
“Sorry,” she said.
“Right.” I cleared my throat. “Okay, so before we begin, I’ll need your safe word.”
She wiggled her tushy and giggled.
“What’s funny?” I asked, confused.
“I’ve just never had to give a safe word before. It’s kind of exciting.”
“Ah.”
“How about we go with ‘harder, faster, don’t stop’?”
“Very funny,” I grunted. “You need to take this seriously, Rachel, or you may get hurt.”
“Isn’t that the point?”
“Well, yes, but I don’t want you to be seriously injured.”
“All right, all right,” she replied with a sigh. “I’ll go with ‘fucksnacks’.”
I rolled my eyes and lowered my head. Sometimes she was such a pain. It was as though she were trying to irk me, which I guess made sense under these circumstances.
“You may remember that you say ‘fucksnacks’ all the time when we’re having sex, Rachel.”
Her head turned slightly. “I do?”
“Right before you orgasm,” I answered. “I’ve always found that odd…” I coughed. “Erm…I mean interesting, to be honest.”
“Huh. I guess I’m always so wrapped up in the moment that I never realized it.”
“Probably.” I was starting to lose my interest, not that I had a lot of desire in this direction in the first place. It was still exceedingly odd that she wanted me to dominate her. This just wasn’t our normal dynamic. “How about choosing something that is completely nonsexual?”
“You mean like ‘Warren’?” she giggled again.
I sighed.
“Sorry,” she laughed. “Okay, okay. Uh…I’ll say ‘chandelier’.”
“Perfect.”
Surprisingly, The Admiral had been rather tight-lipped during this entire exchange. He was a bit preoccupied, though.
I’d also managed to avoid the valkyrie conversation by sternly saying, “Not now” when Rachel brought up the topic. My firmness is what landed me in the position of wearing a mask, holding a whip, and standing behind my tied-up girlfriend while asking her for a safe word.
With a light sigh, I pulled back the whip and admired her perfect bottom. It was such a shame to have to redden it as I was about to do, but the key to a successful relationship was supporting each other’s needs.
Still, I wanted to take it slow.
Rachel may have been excited by the prospect of this, but she’d never been on the receiving end of this style of play before.
And, so, with a somewhat gentle flick of my wrist, the whip snapped out and struck her left butt cheek.
“Chandelier!”
CLASH OF FLAMES
CHAPTER 1
Sleep wasn’t easy to come by for those who worked in the Las Vegas Paranormal Police Department (PPD). First off, you worked nights, so you had to be comfortable sleeping during the day. Secondly, you were always on edge because you never knew when a member of the supernatural community might do something naughty to a normal. And third, you were hornier than the average person due to the genetic enhancements you got when you became a full cop.
Each officer was enhanced for their particular race. A vampire was quicker and more agile, a werewolf was stronger and faster, a mage could cast more spells without running out of juice, a pixie could throw dust or use more creative curse words, and so on. But they only got one increment on the level of horny.
I was different.
I was an amalgamite. That meant I’d gotten bits of vampire, werewolf, pixie, fae, werebear, and various other sprinkles in my system. So when I got my enhancements on the day of becoming a full cop in the PPD, I ended up getting a bunch of horny points. That, in turn, essentially made me the horniest guy on the planet.
I kept it in check most of the time, bu
t it wasn’t easy. There are a lot of hot chicks in Vegas, you know.
What made it worse was that I’d recently been bitten by a vampire whose venom unleashed a lot more of my powers.
For example, I used to be able to cast a simple illumination spell using my mage abilities.
That was it.
Nothing fancy.
Now, though, I could launch spells that the mages on my team drooled over. I could also pop out my fangs like a real vampire. I couldn’t do that before. On top of that, I got faster, stronger, had more stamina, and was technically ‘better’ in every way than I was before that vampire bite.
Now, I know what you’re thinking…
How could it possibly be worse that I had better powers?
Because my girlfriend, Rachel Cress, who also happened to be my partner on the force, had taken a real shine to my new demeanor.
She used to be the one who snarked at me all the time, called me an idiot, and had the upper hand in our relationship. But since that damn vampire shoved venom in my veins, I was loaded with angst and brooding. It turned out, this got Rachel’s engine revving.
Where she once spent half the time staring at me with crossed arms and a tapping foot, she now swooned over me…mostly. Now and then she’d break out of her Ian-is-yummy mindset and be her old self, but it wasn’t like it used to be.
Okay, so now you’re really confused.
How could it possibly be worse that I had better powers and my girlfriend swooned over me instead of calling me an idiot all the time?
Because we’d been having so much sex that I barely got any sleep!
I’ll admit that this doesn’t sound like the worst problem a guy could have, but I was the chief of the Las Vegas PPD. I needed to be on my toes at all times, and I needed to have my wits about me, too.
“Ian,” Rachel said as I stood in the shower, letting the hot water do its best to revive me, “mind if I join you?”
Honestly, the woman had become more insatiable than me.
Me!
But I couldn’t say no. It just wasn’t in my DNA.
So I held out my arm, signaling for her to join me.
“Now, we’re talkin’,” said The Admiral, who happened to be my dick.
Yes, my dick spoke to me.
We have had many conversations over the years, in fact. It made it quite awkward to pleasure myself, but fortunately it was rare that I needed to do that anymore. These days, when I did give myself the old low-five, The Admiral and I had a strict no-talking rule that we followed.
To make things even more fun, Rachel could also hear it when The Admiral spoke. I have even referred to her as “The cock whisperer.” Crude, yes, but that’s how my brain worked.
She smiled at The Admiral’s enthusiasm, letting her robe drop as she stepped inside.
My condo had an open-style shower that could fit four people comfortably. Trust me, I know. That’s what you got when you lived in a 3.5-million-dollar hedonistic hovel at The Martin in Las Vegas.
Within moments, our hands were all over each other.
I was tired, but when you had a woman as hot as Rachel pressing her nakedness against you while hot water rained down on your back, you tended to wake up.
Crash.
We both opened our eyes and looked at each other.
“What was that?” she asked.
“No idea,” I replied, but I let my senses reach out through my property.
One of the many things I was gifted with as an amalgamite was the ability to know if there was anything out of place in my condo. It had saved my ass on many occasions, in fact. Bad guys and girls had shown up more than once to my not-so-humble abode.
There were five bodies moving slowly down the hall.
Reaching out farther, I found they had used some type of cutter on the main door. The crashing sound must have been the piece they’d cut falling into the house. I’d no doubt it wasn’t the intention to have made any noise upon entry, unless they were idiots.
Well, their screwup was our salvation.
“We’ve got five people incoming,” I whispered. “Did you close the bathroom door?”
“Yes,” Rachel replied.
“Good.” Then, I focused my attention on The Admiral and said, “You may want to go down now.”
“Can’t, man. I’m ready for action.”
“We’re about to be attacked,” I explained. “Having you standing up isn’t going to make fighting all that easy.”
“I’ll do my best, pal,” he replied, as if shrugging, “but once I’m ready, I’m ready.”
“Do you want me to slap him or something?” Rachel asked, her face serious as she prepared to fight whoever was coming after us.
“Yes, please,” cooed The Admiral.
I grimaced and gave Rachel a look. “I think that would make things worse.”
“Right.”
I carefully stepped out of the shower as the five bodies moved into place just outside the bathroom.
One last scan allowed me to pinpoint what Rachel and I were dealing with, and it wasn’t thrilling.
“Werewolves,” I whispered.
The shower was still running so as not to tip off the intruders that we knew they were here. Rachel stayed in, but the showerhead was farther back, meaning she was no longer getting wet.
I handed her the robe she’d dropped and went to reach for a robe of my own, but it was too late.
The handle was turning.
CHAPTER 2
T he door swung inward and there I stood, in all my glory, as the first werewolf stepped inside. She looked at my naked body, fixating finally on The Admiral.
She blinked.
I kicked.
The Admiral flopped about.
“Take it easy, pal!” he yelped.
“Shut up.”
The werewolf hit the floor, but another dived in behind her and reached out for me. Then, he paused, looking unsure about the prospect of wrestling with a naked guy who had a boner.
A left cross rung his bell, dropping him to the floor with a thump.
Normally it would have taken a few punches to exact this amount of destruction to something as tough as a werewolf, but they were in my house, I was naked, my girlfriend was right here with me, and my adrenaline was through the roof. Plus, again, I had all those enhanced powers from that damn vampire bite.
In other words, it was not the best time to fuck with me.
I glanced down at The Admiral at that thought.
Okay, so I suppose it was the best time to fuck with me in a literal sense, but you know what I’m saying.
The third werewolf had jumped into the bathroom and he didn’t seem to care about my situation. His eyes were red and he had drool pouring from his mouth. He was ready to bite.
The Admiral must have realized that he was not exactly safe in this equation, because he began to deflate.
“It’s about time,” I said just as the latest wolf dived at me.
I jumped to the side and let him crash into the wall as the remaining two wolves came into the bathroom.
Okay, now it was pretty cramped in here.
“Stay!” I called out as if telling a poodle not to come any closer.
Funny thing was, they did.
For a second, anyway.
Then they looked even more pissed than they had before.
“Rachel,” I called to her directly, using our PPD-issued, brain-altering, built-in connection system, “I’m going to get them out of the way. You head for the door. I’ll follow.”
She nodded.
“Anyone want a treat?” I asked as I kicked back and landed a solid heel against the red-eyed wolf’s chest, driving him back toward the wall.
The other two didn’t play the game of one-at-a-time fighting. They launched at me with their teeth at the ready.
Unfortunately for them, that was exactly what I was hoping they’d do.
I didn’t need to fend off both of them. I just had to knock
the one into the other so they’d both be off balance.
My duck-and-punch was perfectly timed.
They both collided with the red-eyed wolf and I took off for the door, right behind Rachel.
Unfortunately, I slipped.
That was one of the fun parts about running around on a wet floor.
I landed right on my ass, too.
My tailbone throbbed in response.
Not fun.
My body healed super fast, which was great, but it was still going to take a minute or so before I would be in tiptop shape. I had a feeling the wolves weren’t going to give me a reprieve, though.
“Get the girl,” growled the red-eyed wolf. “We’ll kill this one.”
Well, obviously, I couldn’t have that.
And, so, in Bruce Lee fashion, I put my hands behind my head, placing them on the floor, and then I kicked my feet up, hopping straight into the air.
I spun around, wincing at the pain in my back.
“Who the fuck are you guys?” I asked as they paused their advance. “Did I put one of your bosses in the kennel or something?”
Their eyes grew dark.
“Sorry,” I said, holding up my hands. “I meant in prison.”
“You are our target,” said the one I was just going to call Red from now on. “We were paid to kill you and your girlfriend, so that’s what we’re doing.”
“Ah, I see,” I said, reaching back to lock the bathroom door. I knew Rachel was going to try and come back in here and I couldn’t allow that. Then I stepped forward, careful not to trip over the two unconscious wolves at my feet. “I’m hoping you’ve realized by now that I’m not easy to kill.”
“You’ll die before we leave,” Red said with a shrug.
“And how many of you will die with me, Red?”
He tilted his head in that way dogs do when they hear a funny sound.
“Who is Red?”
“Oh, uh…” I coughed. “I was just calling you that because you have red eyes. It’s not like we’ve been properly introduced.” I raised an eyebrow at him. “If you’d like to give me your actual name, I’d be happy to—”
The Ian Dex Supernatural Thriller Series: Books 5 - 7 (Las Vegas Paranormal Police Department Box Sets Book 2) Page 26