Fadeout

by Rolynn Anderson

  Roman’s heart skipped a beat and he worried for the first time about a person judging him. His grandfather’s criticism hadn’t stopped him from digging deep, but something about Jan’s skepticism gnawed at him. He wondered what it would hurt if he showed her his research on the Barkers and the Senator.

  No. Absolutely not. Why would he do such a thing? His grandfather had made the same request countless times, but Roman had always refused him. He’d ignored everything Sidney ever told him, hadn’t he? Ever since Roman had learned about his grandfather’s journal, Roman wondered if Sid’s criticism had affected his documentaries. The idea bugged him.

  The thing was, Roman wanted the work to be his own. Sole authorship and all that. What would it mean if Sid’s ideas appeared in his work, or that Jan might somehow influence his research on Barker or Johnson?

  He thought about ignoring her question. When he realized she was watching him, waiting for his answer, he stepped closer and caressed her cheeks with his thumbs. Get her mind off Barker and Johnson. Instead, think about sex. God he loved touching her, watching her eyes soften at the feel of his hands. He knew she was thinking about what came next; he certainly was.

  “Nope.” she said, pleasantly. “I know all about diversionary tactics.” At his quizzical look, she waved a hand. “Four brothers and a General. I’ve played more war games than any woman ought to.”

  Roman decided to try the professional approach. “My work on both men is unfinished. When I’m done, I’ll share.”

  She grabbed a dishcloth and swiped it over the faucet. Abruptly, she dropped the cloth, turned back to him and went still, a hint of sly in her smile. “Maybe I could help. My handwritten notes on Barker aren’t the easiest to read…”

  He encircled her waist. “I don’t get it. If you want to understand me by looking at my work, why not examine my finished projects, just like my grandfather did.”

  “I have. Don Rumsfeld, Colin Powell, prescription drug companies, variable mortgage cons. Those four, I pulled up on my TV’s On Demand file. I didn’t have time to watch them more than once.”

  Roman stepped away from Jan so he could more easily read her expression and body language. “And?”

  She squinted at a place over his left shoulder, formulating a judgment. He held his breath, nervous about her response.

  “You let the drug companies and the mortgage industry have it with both barrels, but you also did a good job holding individuals responsible for learning more about mortgages and drugs before they purchased them. I liked that.”

  Exhaling, Roman nodded. “And the bios?”

  “I judged you were tough on both of them, seeming to expect them to be superhuman in their government roles. All-seeing and all-knowing.”

  “But Rumsfeld should have realized he was in over his head, and as for Powell, he could have screamed bloody murder as soon as he knew he’d been duped about the weapons of mass destruction.”

  “I agree on both those points, but you seem to skirt around these men’s valuable contributions.” Jan pushed her fingers through her hair. “I’m worried about how you’ll speak of Senator Johnson as well as your grandfather.”

  Roman gave her a crooked smile. “Think you can influence me, do you? So did Sid.”

  With a sidelong look, she said, “You don’t want me to egg your coffin, do you?”

  He chuckled and kissed her brow, savoring her willingness to banter and be held. How could she smell so good?

  Another shoulder lift. “Look, I think I could help you on the Johnson script, that’s all. But it’s different for Barker. I’m feeling guilty about dumping Tess. If I decide to help her, I need to do it now, not wait around to read your final script on Cliff Barker.”

  Jan leaned against him, sighing as if she were taking a well-needed rest. “I’ve got a habit of leaving when things get messy, when I can’t see a way to tie up loose ends. Resigning from HighTech, avoiding Frank. My troubles with the General. Now Tess…”

  He turned her face so she’d look him in the eye. “You sure they’re connected?”

  “It’s a version of my mother’s quirk. She always had a suitcase packed.” She hung her head. “So do I. The thing is, no matter how bad things got between my dad and mom, she never left him. Me? I have a history of turning tail.”

  “Twelve years with Frank sounds like a commitment.”

  “You’d think, wouldn’t you? Yet, what I liked about Frank was his lack of demand. When he started pushing for marriage six months ago, I couldn’t get on a plane fast enough. Since I’d already bought the house and my mom needed me…” She opened her palms.

  Roman wondered at her self-recrimination. “You stuck it out with your mom.”

  “She died,” Jan threw back. “I was a little tardy playing the good daughter.”

  God, she was hard on herself. “You’re here with your dad and the dog. Sounds like a commitment to me.”

  She gave him a sardonic look. “Yeah. I traded a faux boyfriend for an estranged father. Since I can’t fill the gap my mother left, I’m resigning as event planner despite the fact the job offered me a perfect way to get to know my Dad.”

  He couldn’t think of a rejoinder.

  “See how chicken I am?”

  “Your brothers and their kids?”

  Her indulgent smile told him she appreciated his effort at optimism, but she wasn’t buying. “I’m not bad as aunts go, but I never stay long enough with any of my brothers to let us annoy each other. It’s easy to be a generous aunt from afar.” She sighed. “The argument drives me nuts, yet it’s the one I have with myself repeatedly, this aversion to getting close to people.”

  Roman wondered what to say.

  She closed her eyes a moment. “So, where was I?”

  “Buttoning up your hair shirt.” He smiled so she knew he was teasing. “You’ve lost the story line in favor of the emotions.”

  With a hearty laugh, she stepped away and pinched the bridge of her nose. “That’s right. See, what I’ve done with Tess is so half-assed, fitting my pattern. By quitting as Madeline’s funeral planner, I might be safe from Tess, but I’ve practically guaranteed the memorial will go on. Everything’s set up. Music, minister, speakers. Madeline will look at my script and realize she can run the event herself. If Tess is half-wrecked and her brother suicidal, my actions throw Tess over the brink and sign the brother’s death warrant. Seriously, if Cliff was as cruel to his children as I’m beginning to think he was, I’m morally bound to stop the memorial and save Tess. I should say, ‘we’ are. My next job is to get the General on board.”

  The mention of her father had her looking at her watch and frowning.

  “What’s wrong?”

  She headed to the front door, opened it and peered outside. “Dad promised to be back by quarter to.”

  “Is he carrying a phone?”

  Her shoulders relaxed a bit. “Of course. He doesn’t usually, but today…” Punching the numbers into her phone, she said. “He’ll take a while to answer since he’s not used to hauling a cell on his walks.”

  Roman waited.

  The phone kept ringing.

  “You know his route?”

  She nodded, her forehead creased with worry. “Doesn’t vary. I’ll take the phone.” She slipped on some sturdy-looking sandals. “Let’s go.”

  Grabbing her keys and pocketing the phone, she ran out the door with Roman close behind her.

  “How’s his health, Jan?” he asked when he’d pulled up next to her, matching her stride.

  She chewed on her bottom lip. “Pretty good. Ticker issues, but medicine keeps things in control, assuming he takes the drugs regularly. Mom was the one to lay out his pills every day. I worry he forgets.”

  “He’s used to the exercise?”

  “Sure. We try to get in a walk every day.”

  Roman surveyed the street and the surrounding houses as they fast-walked down the block. “Seems like a safe area, where people would help if they saw a
person in trouble.”

  “Right turn,” Jan said as she left the road and headed down a dirt path through a stand of Eucalyptus trees. “We like to walk this way for the shade and the quiet. No people to help here. About ten minutes of not safe.”

  “Elly? Dad?” she yelled as she punched numbers into her cell phone. “I’m going to let the phone ring. Maybe we’ll hear his.”

  Roman felt the air cool as they walked deeper into the woods. The Eucalyptus trees, or Eucs, as the locals called them, grew like weeds on the Central Coast, and left piles of shed bark, broken branches, leaves, and spent flowers on the forest floor. God’s messiest creation, Roman dubbed them. Still, he noted the path was wide and well worn by walkers and runners, quite free of debris. If the General had fallen on the path, someone would have seen him. Off in the thick woods? No.

  He grabbed Jan’s arm and stopped her mid-step. “Wait. I hear it. The ringing. Off to the left, I think.”

  “Dad! Elly!” Jan yelled. They waited for a response, but heard only a faint ringing.

  “That way,” Roman pointed. He looked at her bare legs. “Poison Oak, Jazz. Stay put. I’ll wade in and see what’s up. Keep the phone ringing.”

  The going was slow over the slippery bark droppings and dead branches. He’d stop to hear the ringing and move toward the sound. Stop again, alter direction a bit. Climb a log. Wait. Listen.

  He looked back to recall his pathway, surprised he could no longer see Jan. “You hear me?” he yelled.

  “I do. See anything?” she answered, her voice sounding faint.

  “Not yet,” he shouted.

  Forging on, thinking the phone ringing was louder, he came upon a dip in the terrain, a small ravine.

  And then he heard a whimper.

  As he moved around a giant tree trunk, Roman saw the General sitting in the bottom of a shallow ravine. The man held a hand to his forehead as he searched for the source of the chiming sound, unaware that a few feet behind him, Elwood lay, his tiny body inert.

  ****

  The General hated when people fussed over him, so the grumble coming from the sofa where he lay “catching his breath,” clearly translated to Jan he wanted to be left alone. He refused to go to the hospital, saying he’d only slipped and fallen while he was looking for Elwood. “I had the phone so I wasn’t worried about losing my way,” he added.

  Jan dragged a folding chair to the sofa and sat down while Roman stood at the foot of the couch, looking on. “Dad, why didn’t you answer the phone?”

  Walter picked some imaginary lint off his shirt, his eyes hidden from Jan. “When it first rang, I was talking to some nice people, some joggers who wanted to pet Elwood. Damn dog ran off just then and I was too busy tracking him to call you. Plus, I wasn’t real proud of the fact I’d let the dog off the leash.” He palmed his forehead. “Damn Eucs. Slippery bark did it.” Lifting his feet one after the other, he demonstrated the difficult footing. “I saw Elwood lying in that gully. My foot slipped on the damn bark on my way down to get him. Acted just like a slide, I swear. Cut my head on something, I guess. I was just getting my bearings when Roman showed up.”

  His glance at Elwood held irritation, but his voice showed concern. “Is the dog okay?”

  “I think so, Dad,” she said. “He’s limping a little, but doesn’t seem to be in pain. Roman thinks he got the breath knocked out of him.” She chuckled. “He’s still growling at Roman and guarding shadows so he can’t be too far off plumb.”

  At her dad’s answering smile, albeit weak, Jan took a deep breath. “I still say you should go to the hospital, to see if you’ve got a concussion.” She nodded to Roman, encouraging him to corroborate.

  Holding up two fingers, Roman said “How many do you see?”

  “Two,” Walter said dismissively. “Absolutely no doctors. See the wound?” he said, touching the gash. “I didn’t bump it, I scraped it. Head wounds bleed like crazy. You know that.” He pointed to her head. “You didn’t go to the hospital when you fell and hurt yourself.”

  “But…”

  “Nope. You’ve cleaned it well and I feel fine. I’m going to rest here a couple more minutes then go home and work on the military salutes for Sidney. Roman’s staying with you.” He looked at Roman, seeming to expect no less than a “Yes, sir.” Yet when Roman nodded, the General looked relieved.

  Jan sat up in her chair, glaring at her father and Roman, upset the two men would make such a decision without her. “I did what you asked, Dad. I turned over my final bill to Madeline, so why do I still need guarding?”

  The General sat up so rapidly he must have gotten dizzy. He held his head as if to keep his torso erect. With a growl of impatience he said, “Trust me, you do. Tess is unstable and the son who called me isn’t far behind. Someone stays with you until after the memorial. No argument, Janny. Pete agrees with me.” Closing his eyes, he eased back until his head rested on the pillow.

  As much as she wanted to protest, Jan realized it was the wrong time to argue with her father. She’d never seen him so agitated, so rattled from the fall that he actually seemed frightened.

  At least for now, she wouldn’t let her father know she and Roman were still investigating Cliff Barker. She shared a look with Roman. He nodded, seeming to know what she was thinking. They’d wait until the General returned to his apartment before they spoke of Tess and her brother’s dilemma.

  The bodyguard thing? She’d live with it if it kept Roman from working on the Johnson project.

  Jan reminded herself that all her actions bought her freedom, not commitment. In a few days, Johnson’s bust would be placed on a pedestal outside the Johnson institute. Roman would walk out of her life having missed one deadline, but he would continue to dig up dirt on Barker as well as compose a “Crimes against the Elderly” anti-funeral planner feature on 20/20. The General would run a thriving business with a new partner. She’d leave a beautifully furnished home for a long vacation in Palm Springs.

  Sounded simple and tidy, didn’t it?

  She gazed at the General’s face. Downed this way, he looked like a feeble old man, so pale and distraught, bereft of the lively, take-charge attitude that usually defined him. How could she leave him in this condition?

  She glanced at Roman whose smile made her feel better.

  Followed quickly by a pang of guilt.

  Neither man understood her need to escape Arroyo Grande rather than face the problems piling up on her doorstep.

  If she left, she’d lose their respect.

  Lord knew, she’d already lost respect for herself.

  Chapter Twelve

  “Look for what’s missing,” Roman advised Jan as he maneuvered his old Beemer down the main drag of San Luis Obispo. Aloud, he strategized their investigation of Cliff Barker. “I’d like to question the brothers and sisters of our target,” Roman said. “In-laws, too. I get some of my best information from in-laws. Without blood ties they’re usually more candid. We visit Madeline’s sister, first, because she lives right here in town.”

  “Is she missing from the attendee list?”

  “It’s a cross through, like the long-term maid. Either Madeline’s sister can’t or won’t come to the biggest memorial on record for San Luis Obispo, or Mrs. Barker told her not to show. Laura was the children’s aunt, Jazz. Why wouldn’t she attend the memorial?”

  “She could be ill or physically unable. Out of town. Estranged from her sister. Any number of things.”

  “Let’s find out.”

  “Did you make an appointment with this woman…Laura?”

  Roman shook his head. “I like to surprise ’em. If they’re not prepared, they tend to be more forthcoming.”

  Jan raised her eyebrow. “Don’t I know it,” she said, a quirk of her mouth indicating he’d caught her at vulnerable times.

  He reached over to stroke her cheek. “Hey, I didn’t plan most of this, Jazz. You think I regularly show up at a woman’s house with a blow-up bed agreeing to be her 24/
7 protector under the gruff orders of a retired general?” With a pinch of her cheek, he said, “Not that I mind the duty.”

  Turning in her seat, she gave him a hard look. “Who gets to surprise you? When do we get to find out what’s missing in your life?”

  He turned up his thumbs on the steering wheel, thinking he’d like to change the subject. In the year since he’d split with Maura, the puzzle over why their relationship had failed gnawed at him and he’d been wary of getting close to women since. When he got to the bottom of his trouble with Maura, he figured he’d try again. Deciding to shock Jan instead of delve into his confusion about Maura, he asked, “You offering to fill in a gap?”

  She laughed. “You’re my worst nightmare. A few days with you feels like a century.” With a shake of her head, she said, “You see me as a broken woman. Pinned under your microscope, my flaws look terrible. Plus, we argue all the time.” She gave a heavy sigh. “You make me tired.”

  Her words triggered a hollow feeling in his chest. “Sorry,” he said, feeling hurt. “I could have sworn you enjoyed our brief periods of necking.”

  “Oh, that,” she said, waving her hand and staring straight ahead. “Hunter-gatherer reaction. You get hyped about your work. Very little to do with me, I’m sure.”

  Shit. Was he that transparent? Maura had never figured out… Startled by his thoughts and confused by his hurt, he grasped Jan’s arm, forcing her to look at him when they halted at a stoplight.

  “You’re an attractive, smart woman, Jazz. I enjoy kissing you. You.”

  Her wry smile made him think she wasn’t convinced. “Sure,” she said. “When I’m quiet and still. Like your former girl friend was habitually, I suspect.”

  The woman was far too smart and perceptive.

  Trying to lighten the mood, he said, “Come on, Jazz. It’s hard to kiss a moving target. Sure, you’re nothing like her, as Frank is a contrast to me, I’m guessing, but why wouldn’t that be good for us?” He was surprised, he realized, by the idea Jan might be a compliment to his personality.