Fadeout

by Rolynn Anderson

  Stroking her shoulder blades, he said, “Hard day at the dog salon?”

  Feeling her shake her head, a mercenary thought climbed into his mind. Maybe if he softened her up, she’d come clean.

  Cad. Opportunist.

  She was a sun-warmed woman, happy to be held close. By now she could feel how pleased his body was about being next to hers. She shifted, seeming to assess the nature and extent of his joy, didn’t mind, and snuggled closer.

  I want her. She wants me. That’s all there is to know.

  He looked over her shoulder at golfers gunning golf carts to their next shots. Too public a place. He caught a glimpse of Bella’s house three doors down and remembered he had principles. He’d carry Jazz inside to a real bed. No blow-up bed sex for them, by God.

  Releasing her, he took her face in his hands. If Big Ears had gotten his beefy paws on her, Roman would kill the guy. He took a breath before he spoke. Don’t scare her. “Where are your bodyguards, Jazz?”

  “You’re it.”

  He raised an eyebrow.

  “Dad left with Bella. Frank was supposed to stay with me, but we had a fight and he drove off somewhere.” She glanced at Elwood. “The dog stayed.”

  He took a step back. Clearly she’d meant to state the facts with a hint of humor, but to Roman, her voice sounded weak. Had Frank hurt her? The thing with Tess was probably heavy on her mind. Maybe being left alone had frightened her.

  Why couldn’t she tell him, trust him?

  Give her a chance. “Anything on your mind, Jazz? Something besides a close shave at the dog salon?”

  Her laughter gave him hope, helping him relax a bit.

  “You’re funny,” she said. “No, we’re fine. Grace’s memorial was wonderful and we can now focus on the final touches of your grandfather’s send-off. If you’re ready, it’s a go.”

  “Yup,” he said, his heart sinking. She wasn’t going to tell him a damn thing.

  “Good.” Jan picked up the weeds she’d dropped and threw them into the wheelbarrow.

  One more try. “Any luck setting up a meeting with Tess?”

  She glowered at a dandelion before she yanked it out of the ground. “None. She knows your history. Doesn’t trust you.”

  Roman bit his lip, catching Jan’s half-truth. “Any thoughts about what to do with the Barker memorial?”

  “Still thinking. Still researching. Twenty-four hours to make a decision.”

  “Really? You could shut it down as late as Friday night?”

  “Easy, using e-mail. One of our services is an e-mail and phone connection with all attendees for a given memorial. The invitation and the program go out on the Internet and are updated daily. We’ve also developed an e-mail guest book, where people can send in anecdotes about the deceased. Everyone on the list gets a copy of the e-mailed excerpts whether they come to the memorial or not. A real-time RSVP loop helps us get a solid count of how many are coming to the event so we have the right amount of tables set up and food ordered. No surprises.”

  “Efficient and modern. You’re telling me you can easily notify all the guests about a cancellation.” He threw the ball for Elwood and added, nonchalantly, “Anything I can do to help with your research on Barker?”

  She jammed her trowel in the ground, freeing a root. After she shook dirt off the weed, she stood and squinted at Roman. “You’ve read my Barker file. What am I missing?”

  “I…”

  “I knew you’d read it whether I gave my permission or not.” With a flip of her hand she said, “It’s fine. You’re predictable.” She rolled the wheelbarrow to a new spot. “What am I missing?”

  Okay. Wait a damn minute. Roman was the one with all the goods on Jan and she was making him feel like a jerk? Had she already forgotten how she’d melted into his arms? He glanced at the golf course, wishing he were out there playing. The game was blessedly direct compared to his relationship with Jan. She could read his mind, for Christ’s sake. Which probably meant she knew he wanted to jump her bones right there in the garden.

  Plus, she made him feel stupid. She was working up a sweat pulling weeds while he stood on one foot then another.

  He bent over to yank out what he hoped was a weed, covering his embarrassment, his anger, and his lust. The damn thing came out leaving its root. “Shit,” he said.

  She threw the trowel at his feet. “I planned to ring up the Barker brothers who live overseas.”

  Roman picked up the trowel and held his breath.

  “You’d already called them.”

  He kept his eyes on the root location.

  “I rang the mayor’s office to set up an appointment. From them, I find out you’ve visited the mayor on two occasions. Didn’t leave the best impression, either. They refused to talk to me.”

  “Dammit, Jazz. I—”

  She waved a weed in his direction to stop his protest, the edge of her halter revealing the roundness of her breast in a replay of the first time he’d met her. But now, her profile, kneeling, breasts and butt defined, made him ache with need.

  With a knowing smile, she said, “Clearly, we’ve decided to dig separately.” She threw a ball for Elwood and watched the dog scramble for the toy. “We work best alone, I guess.”

  Roman stabbed at the root, freed it from the ground and brought it to her bucket. “I’m sorry, Jazz. Old dog. Untrainable.”

  She nodded, averting her eyes. “I’m afraid to ask how the Johnson thing is going.”

  “I’m done. You were busy and I had a deadline to make.”

  She let out a breath and bowed her head. “Oh.”

  Roman wanted to explain himself, helping her understand why he’d written the script on the Senator his way. But he was convinced she wouldn’t buy his rationale. “I’ve got a copy you can read.”

  The silence opened a chasm between them. Why had he promised Jan she could read the Johnson script before he sent it in? Had either of them really believed he’d follow through with that pledge?

  “Dad’s working on a project for Sidney’s memorial,” she said in an all-business tone, ignoring his offer. “He made me promise I’d take Frank or you wherever I had to go this afternoon.” She swallowed, seeming to marshal her emotions. “Since Frank’s declined the position, I’m wondering if you’ll accompany me on a couple errands.” She gave him a wry smile. “I’d buy you a hamburger for the trouble.”

  “Of course. I—”

  Touching his arm, she shook her head. “We are who we are, Roman. Let’s leave it at that and go about our business. On Sunday, I head for Palm Springs and you drive to Santa Barbara. It’ll be good for both of us to return to our simple lives.”

  She picked up her bucket, dropped the trowel in it and whistled to Elwood. Roman watched her walk to the patio door, shoulders straight. So proud.

  Her body language spoke volumes. She’d never let him hold her again.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  “I promised Bella I’d pick out a desk and a chair,” Jan explained as she led Roman to the furniture section of Office Depot. “Maybe you can help me.”

  Roman nodded. “Why today, Jazz?”

  Jan glanced at the ten or so desks on display, feeling unequal to the task of choosing one. Worse, having Roman around was driving her crazy. She’d exposed the guy’s deceit and closed the door permanently on any kind of relationship with him, but her libido rebelled against the idea. Whenever she looked at him, she remembered being enfolded in his arms, wriggling in delight at his arousal. Whose behavior was more disgusting, his or hers?

  When she answered, she averted her eyes from his, pretending the array of desks held her attention. “I asked Bella over to dinner tonight to celebrate the completion of her ‘interior desecration’ project. She ordered two barrel chairs for the den, delivered today. A desk and chair and we’re done.”

  “She works hard, my Bella Coola.”

  Idly testing a desk drawer, Jan said, “I was doomed to have an empty house if it hadn’t bee
n for Bella.”

  He leaned against a table. “You helped her keep busy. A project was just what she needed.”

  “She’s an amazing woman, so optimistic and full of energy at one of the most tragic times in her life. I want to be just like her when I’m seventy,” Jan said as she moved to examine another piece of furniture.

  “Don’t beat yourself up, Jazz. You and Bella are quite a bit alike, actually.”

  Interesting comment. She had to look at him. Big mistake. Too handsome, especially when he smiled. Peering into a drawer and testing how smoothly it slid in and out, she got ready for a compliment, chiding herself for wanting it. “Really?”

  “Yeah. You both see right through me. Clever women.”

  He said it lightly with a hint of sarcasm. If only he hadn’t worn the green plaid shirt that matched his eyes and reminded her of the color scheme of the spare bedroom. “Hey,” she said, spying a desk in a wood shade that matched the exposed beams in her den’s ceiling.

  Roman joined her at the desk, knocked on the wood and pulled out a drawer to check the way it was constructed. “Bella’s got an advanced degree in cleverness, by virtue of age.”

  “Oh?” Jan sank into a high-backed leather chair and pulled herself up to the desk. Too low.

  Roman motioned for her to get out of the chair so he could adjust it. As he fiddled with the bottom of the chair, he said, “Who brought up having dinner at your house, Jazz?”

  Jan thought a minute. Hadn’t she invited Bella? No. Wait. Bella had mentioned a christening of the new furniture, more specifically, the dining room set. “I guess Bella did.”

  “Did she say she was coming alone?” Roman gestured for her to try the chair again.

  Jan sat down, dragged herself up to the desk and nodded her head, satisfied with the feel. “She said ‘we.’ I assumed she meant her sister.”

  Roman shook his head. “She’s up to her old tricks.”

  “Oh?”

  “My parents fly in to San Luis Obispo late this afternoon.” He leaned on the edge of her desk, smiling. “If I know Bella, she’s planning to bring them to dinner at your place and provide most of the food, as well.”

  “Really? She didn’t say a thing—”

  “Probably had it planned for days. She’s crafty.”

  Jan put her elbows on the desk and rested her chin in her hands. “She wants us to be more than friends.”

  “From the beginning. Remember how she picked up on the nickname?”

  Jan kept her head down, her eyes inches from his jeans-clad thigh. “Good Lord.” Claustrophobia, fatigue, and desire scrambled her brain. The idea of calling off the dinner, hurting Bella, wasn’t even an option. She sighed. “We’ll make it work for Bella and your parents. Our issues are minor in comparison to losing Sidney.”

  When Roman didn’t say anything, she raised her head to look at him. What was in his eyes? Regret? Yearning? Defeat? He scanned the store as if searching for an answer. “Minor,” he said, without conviction. He cleared his throat. “You like this one?” he asked, his hand on the desk.

  “I do.”

  “Good taste, Jazz. It’s well made. Handsome. Fine chair, too.” He stood and held out his hand to her. “Let’s order it, get the boxes in the trunk of the car, take ’em home and assemble the chair and the desk in the next hour. After that, we’ve got to get to the airport.”

  She rose but held on to his hand. “To pick up your parents.”

  “Yup. You’re going with me unless the General is available to stay with you.”

  “This is ridiculous. Can’t we end the bodyguard business?”

  He squeezed her hand so hard she protested. “Ow! What—?” The expression on his face stopped her. Anger mixed with worry. So intense. “What’s wrong, Roman? What do you know?” She glanced outside the store window, thinking about the men who had scared her father. “Is my Dad in danger?”

  Roman eased his grip on her hand, but his hesitation at answering her question made her nervous. She tried to remember where her father might be. “He and Bella are in San Luis Obispo doing last minute stuff for Sidney’s memorial. Shall I call and see if they’re okay?”

  With a shake of his head, Roman said, “Until this Barker thing is over with, you and Bella get an escort day and night. My parents can take over the duty with Bella tonight. We’ll send your dad to his apartment with Frank.” Roman squinted at her. “Unless you don’t think we can count on Frank.”

  Jan shrugged. “I’ve turned his world upside down, poor guy. He deserves better.”

  “You deserve better, Jazz,” Roman said angrily. He seemed ready to say more, but caught himself. “I bunk with you,” he said, his voice softening. He winked at her, but the stiffness of his expression didn’t match his attempt at lightening the mood. “Two more nights, then we each go our own way. Until then, we’re joined at the hip.”

  He waggled his eyebrows suggestively, but Jan couldn’t give him the smile he wanted. Roman was conniving in his effort to dig into Cliff Barker’s past. She’d already uncovered two phone calls and two visits to the mayor Roman had kept to himself. What was he up to now?

  And how the hell could she have fallen for a guy with a wacky moral compass?

  She pulled her hand from his grasp, sure about her desk and chair choice, but doubting herself and him. On one matter, she was clear. When she and the General visited Madeline Barker, Roman didn’t get to come along.

  ****

  “Where the hell is he?” Roman had spent the last half hour in the Nook Motel parking lot waiting for Frank to show up.

  A knock on his car window startled him.

  Frank, looking puzzled, stood next to Roman’s car door.

  Roman stepped out and leaned against the car.

  “Is Janny okay?” Frank blurted.

  Surprised the man’s response hadn’t been more self-centered, Roman raised his palm. “No worries. Jan’s with the General and Bella at Jan’s house.”

  Frank’s face changed. Relief first. Irritation next. “What do you want from me?”

  “An explanation would help.”

  “Of?”

  “Your relationship with the mayor, for starters.”

  Showing surprise and a hint of guilt, Frank said, “What mayor?”

  “How about Mayor Simpson of Arroyo Grande, your pal?”

  The man appeared ready to deny his connection with the mayor, then thought better of it. “I’m a lobbyist for the energy industry. The mayor’s tight with Diablo, the nuke power plant.”

  Roman said nothing.

  “It’s business. I’m staying out of Janny’s way until she finishes your grandfather’s memorial and the Barker thing on Saturday.”

  “How considerate. If you’re trying so hard to look out for Jan’s interests, you might ask the mayor why he’s having Jan followed.”

  “What?” Frank said, eyebrows up in surprise.

  Damn. He didn’t know. Still, Roman wasn’t going to let Frank off the hook.

  “You’ve been feeding the mayor all kinds of information on the Barker memorial. Stuff you’ve gotten from Jan. His Honor has been using every tidbit to keep track of her.” Roman clenched his fists. “I’m busy trying to keep her safe and you’re doing everything you can to put her in danger.”

  At first, Frank appeared ready to dispute Roman’s accusation, but with a slouch of his shoulders, he seemed to give in to the idea he might be at fault. “She won’t listen to reason.”

  “That’s rich. Someone steals her thumb drive, she’s followed and threatened, and you’re saying Jan’s at fault?”

  “She has no business interfering.”

  “Really?”

  “She’s supposed to plan memorials, not play detective.”

  “You’re putting her life in danger because she can’t get her professions straight?”

  Frank shrugged. “She’s in over her head.”

  Roman grabbed his arm. “No, you are, buddy. You’re morally corrupt, wil
ling to sacrifice a person you supposedly loved for the sake of a goddamn lobby.”

  “Love.”

  “No way. You’re not worthy enough to tie her shoes.”

  “And you are?”

  “Hell, no. At least I recognize she’s got scruples and I don’t.”

  Frank looked surprised at Roman’s admission.

  Dragging his fingers through his hair in frustration, Roman realized the truth of his words. I’m not worthy of her.

  “You can let go of my arm, if you don’t mind,” Frank said, sounding beaten. He leaned against the car. “I didn’t know the mayor was having her followed. Should I have assumed he would? Sure.”

  Roman caught a glimpse of the intelligent, considerate man Jan had stood by for twelve years. He held out hope Frank would do the right thing by her. “What will you do?”

  “I’ll tell him to leave her alone. Probably won’t do any good.” Frank gave him a grim look. “You’ll have to watch over her. Will you?”

  “Of course.”

  “You won’t be able to stop her from canceling the memorial, I take it,” Frank said, shaking his head.

  “When she makes up her mind, you and I are merely gnats in her hurricane.”

  Frank smiled ruefully. “She’s changed in the last six months. Must be her mother’s death and the funeral planning business. Who knows? Somehow she got away from me…or I let her.”

  Roman’s stomach clenched. He’d done the same thing.

  With a look at his watch, Frank said, “I’d better catch the mayor before he leaves his office. You heading to Jan’s?”

  “Yeah. My parents are here.”

  Frank nodded. “Tell Jan I’ll finish some business and see her Sunday before I fly to Seattle. Will you?”

  “Yes.”

  Rubbing his forehead, Frank said, “Of course you’re going to snitch about my visit with the mayor.”

  “Absolutely.”

  Frank squinted at him and nodded as if he’d made up his mind about Roman. “Perfect,” he said, sarcastically. “You’re right. You’re no better than I am.”

  ****

  “Why, Elwood Solvang. You get down from Roman’s lap,” Jan said, astonished at her dog’s bad manners. She prepared to get up from the couch and pull Elwood down, until she saw Roman’s grin.