by Tori Carson
“But, I’m not sure I’m capable of letting anyone else be in charge.”
“Let’s try a few things. If you become too uncomfortable just say stop and I will.”
She drew back away from him and crossed her arms in front of her.
“The funny thing about trust is you have to give a little bit”—he held up his thumb and index finger about an inch apart—“in order for more to be earned. Trust is gained slowly, over time and through experiences. I haven’t done anything to earn your trust, but if you’ll give me a little leeway, maybe I can.”
He was wrong. He’d done a few things to earn her trust. When she’d gotten into a vehicle with him, he hadn’t knocked her out and handed her over to the sex-slave ring. That definitely earned him a few points. She was here alone with him and he hadn’t done anything she hadn’t wanted or hadn’t enjoyed. “Okay. But I’ll warn you, I have the word ‘stop’ on speed dial. Don’t be hurt if I whip it out there.”
Jacob laughed like she’d hoped he would.
“You won’t hurt my feelings, but I’ll be disappointed. I want to be what you need. Let me ask you something. You are a very sensual woman. I get aroused just watching you. When you were with your previous boyfriend, was sex something you looked forward to?”
What a question. She wasn’t sure how to answer. She enjoyed being held afterward. “Sh-sure.”
“Tsk, tsk, Sasha. I don’t know if you’re lying to just me or to both of us, but that was certainly not the truth.” He tipped her chin upward and met her gaze.
The word stop was on the tip of her tongue. She didn’t like being called on her actions. He was wanting a real piece of her. He wasn’t going to be satisfied with a carefully manicured façade. The idea was frightening.
When had she become such a coward? A conversation couldn’t hurt her. Her face was flaming hot with embarrassment. “It wasn’t a complete lie. I looked forward to cuddling.”
“Did you orgasm from intercourse?” he asked calmly, as if inquiring about the time of day.
“Not usually, but it doesn’t matter. Orgasms aren’t all that important to me.” It was unrealistic to think they’d happen every time. She’d read somewhere that not every woman could climax from intercourse alone. Chances were good she was one of the unlucky few.
“Do you come when you masturbate?” He kissed her forehead.
Oh, no. She wasn’t going to answer that. “That’s a horrible question. If I say no, then something’s wrong with me. If I say yes, I’m admitting to playing with myself. I think I’ll pass.” She waved her fingers as if that would force the conversation to keep flowing. “Move on.”
His eyes bored into her, lighting her blood on fire. Holy hell, he was potent.
“Not a chance, Sasha. Remember, I’m in charge now. You’re letting me decide what information I need to make our time together special.”
She felt vulnerable and it was hard to breathe, but she didn’t want it to stop. The funny feeling she had in the pit of her stomach, the warmth and tingling, spread lower.
“There’s no shame in taking care of your needs, Sasha. Heaven knows I’ve taken matters into my own hands more than a few times.”
Having him admit it first made it easier. “I try not to think about it too much.” Masturbating only reminded her how lonely she was.
“Answer my question, Sasha.”
“Yes,” she hissed in a fit of temper.
He smiled. “Thank you. I’m what’s called a service top. Have you ever heard the term?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about. What’s a top…other than a child’s toy or a blouse?” She giggled nervously.
“It just means that I’m a Dominant who enjoys taking caring of my submissive partner,” he explained patiently.
“But I’m not submissive.”
“Is it possible that you are, but you’ve never had the opportunity to explore that side of your personality?”
She shrugged. “I’ve learned that anything is possible.”
“Have you ever been spanked?” He shot her a playful grin that sent heat straight to her clit.
“No.” But she had read plenty of novels where the heroine found it enjoyable. She’d always thought that the author had taken artistic license with those scenes, but she might be willing to give it a try…just once.
“But you’re curious?”
His voice took on that low and seductive note she enjoyed hearing so much. She nodded.
“Not good enough, my sweet. I want to hear your answers out loud.” His tone changed just the slightest bit to take on an edge.
“Yes, I’m a little curious.” And that was the most she was saying on that subject.
“Good to know.” He ran a finger down her cheek before pulling on her blouse. “Get rid of this.”
What? One look and she knew she hadn’t heard him wrong. It was time to decide. Was she going to let fear take away her chance of a special evening or was she going to be strong and see this through? Slowly, she drew the shirt over her head. As the cool air hit her body, her daring faded. She crumpled her blouse in her lap, refusing to look at Jacob.
“Thank you. That took guts. It’s hard being bare in front of another person, especially while they’re still dressed. You’re feeling exposed, aren’t you?” He ran his hand down her back.
She nodded. It was worse with him completely dressed. Hot, though, too.
“I like your fire, Sasha. You’re such a brave woman and with strong convictions. I love how you quietly crusade for abused animals. Most people toss a few dollars their way and pat themselves on the back for being such a do-gooder.”
His praise touched her. He might not mean any of it. He might just be playing her to get the arrangement he wanted, but he sounded sincere.
She folded her shirt and tossed it onto the coffee table, but kept her gaze lowered.
“Take off your bra.”
Though she’d been expecting the command, her stomach plummeted. “Not yet.” She stole a glance his way.
His eyes twinkled and she could see she’d surprised him. Hell, the whole evening thus far had shocked her so he could just join the club.
“Why are you hesitating?”
What the hell? He wanted her to tell him what she was thinking about? No. It would be easier to take the damn thing off than to talk about why she didn’t want to. Maybe she could bluff her way through this. She lifted her cast-covered arm. “Could you help me?”
From his raised eyebrow and quirked smile, she knew she hadn’t fooled him. Still, he unsnapped her bra without calling her on it. She’d take that as a small victory.
With her good hand, she slid the straps down her arms. After taking a deep breath, she pulled the silky fabric away from her breasts and placed it on top of her shirt.
Jacob didn’t say a word, he simply watched her. His gaze felt as intimate as a caress. Her nipples hardened as she waited.
She wanted this. If she kept that foremost in her mind, maybe she’d find the guts to follow through. After drawing a slow, calming breath, she took stock of her body. Her panties were wet and he hadn’t really touched her. How was she going to hide that fact from him? She shifted on his lap and felt his cock pressing into her hip. Instantly she stilled, causing Jacob to laugh.
“Wouldn’t you be upset if I was unaffected? After all, you are sitting topless on my lap.”
The whole situation was more than she could fathom. Her giggles bubbled over and she wrapped her arms around his neck for support. “Yeah, I guess I would be.”
He held her for a few moments then pulled far enough away that she could see his face. His expression had changed. There was a seriousness that hadn’t been there before. His gaze was direct and unwavering. Holy shit, he was killing her.
“Stand up, take off your skirt and panties. Fold and add them to the pile.”
It was getting hard to breathe again. She didn’t know if she had the guts to do this. What would he ask of her next?
Digging past the fear, she knew she wanted to find out. Slowly, she stood and followed his orders. She tucked her drenched panties inside her skirt. Butterflies were alive and in flight in her stomach.
“Kneel and link your hands behind your back,” Jacob ordered. He slid one finger down the side of her cheek. “You’re beautiful and you know it, but I suspect you wish people wouldn’t notice.” He tipped his head and looked deep in thought.
“You’re savvy though. You know that beauty opens doors, so you don’t hide it. The clothes you choose are professional and understated. You’ve chosen not to highlight your ample assets.” His hand traveled the curve of her breast. “Why would that be, Sasha?”
He was seeing too much of her, the real her. Like a deer frozen by headlights, she didn’t have the sense to run. It was probably too late anyway. He seemed to see straight through any façade she used.
“My designs have to be good enough to stand on their own. I don’t want a job because someone wants to have sex with me.”
“You say that like sex is a bad thing.” He chuckled.
His smile softened his features and allowed her to relax a little. “It also helps gain some respect with my female clients,” she confided.
“But they still hate you. They see you as competition and remain cold and a little bitchy.” Jacob’s voice was low yet filled with confidence in his assumptions.
He’d nailed it. “Are you sure you’re not a closet shrink? You’re very insightful.”
“Reading people is a must in business…and as a Dom.”
Just like that, he’d brought it full circle. Suddenly she was aware of the carpet fibers biting into her bare knees and the fact that he was still fully clothed. She’d never been in such a subservient position, and if asked, she would have sworn she never would be. Yet she had no desire to be anywhere else.
The look in Jacob’s eyes intrigued her. There was approval. Such a simple thing, but she couldn’t remember feeling it before. Maybe long ago, from her parents…
“Sex isn’t a bad thing. It isn’t something to be endured so you can snuggle afterward.” His light friendly tone was gone, replaced by a strength he hadn’t exhibited before this evening.
“I don’t think it’s bad, per se. You’re twisting my words, making me sound like a prude.”
“Then tell me how it is.”
Her face grew hot. She tipped her head, hoping to hide her blushing. She should have known he’d start with the questions again. It was impossible to get her thoughts in order. Her brain was on overload as her body started a slow meltdown. His penetrating gaze was more potent than most men’s touch.
“It’s cheap.” Oh, crap. Why had that come out of her mouth? Before she could scramble to her feet and get away, Jacob was down on his knees in front of her. He held her chin tenderly, keeping her from dodging his gaze.
“It doesn’t have to be.”
“Look at me. I’m like a cat in heat begging for your attention. It doesn’t get much cheaper than that.” Tears clogged her throat.
“The first time I saw you, I felt a connection. I don’t believe in love at first sight and I know it isn’t an emotion you want to discuss, but I knew we would click. I know I’m not the biggest Don Juan of our time, but believe it or not, I’ve had the opportunity to have sex a time or two within the last two years. I didn’t choose to act on it. I have to like the woman, to feel a spark beyond mere lust, or it isn’t worthy of my time and energy.”
His words meant more to her than she’d imagined possible. A declaration of love would have sent her running, but knowing that he saw her as more than an easy lay mattered.
“Sex has felt superficial in the past because your needs weren’t being met. Tonight, we’re going to slow down those wheels turning in your head and show you there’s more to intimacy than wham bam I’m outta here, ma’am.”
A laugh bubbled up, surprising her. “Are you equating my brain to a gerbil?”
Chapter Seven
Sid fell back on his heels. He’d been convinced she was about to run and now she was teasing him. The more time he spent with her, the more he liked her.
Since her resolve seemed firmly back in place, it was time to get the scene moving. “I would never do such a thing.” He gave her a kiss on her forehead before sliding back onto the couch. “Spread your legs to shoulder width.”
Sasha’s jaw tightened a moment before she followed his instruction. She was so beautiful. The image of her kneeling at his feet was forever engraved into his mind. He felt a great deal of pressure to make this evening something special for her, but how to do that without scaring her off was a quandary.
“Touch your pussy.”
Her whole body flinched as if he’d struck her. “No, stop. I’m not doing this.”
Before he could reach her, she was on her feet with her back to him. He circled her waist with his arm and pulled her back against him. He’d obviously hit a trigger of some sort. “What is it, Sasha? What’s the matter?” he asked as he rubbed his chin in her hair.
She stood completely still, but she didn’t pull away from him. “I’m not here for your entertainment. I’m not some sex doll you can watch perform while you jack off. I think you need to leave now.” She turned and reached for her clothes.
Sid was getting a peek into her life that he hadn’t expected. Her time on the run must have had some hellish points. Seeing the polished woman that stood before him, it was hard to always keep that in mind, especially when his cock was doing most of the thinking. “That is not what I wanted from you. Don’t shut me out. Let me hold you in my arms and talk this through.”
For a few scary seconds he figured he’d blown it, but then she started to relax her rigid muscles and he knew he’d won a second chance.
The stiff nod of her head was all he needed to see. He picked her up and carried her back to the couch. “I stumbled onto a shitty memory, didn’t I?”
Sasha kept her head down, but confirmed his suspicions.
“We all have events in our lives we’d rather not revisit. I’m sorry I took you to a bad place. From your reaction, I know where you think I was headed. We haven’t formed a layer of trust yet, so your mind is whirling, trying to stay one step ahead. As we spend more time together, it will get easier.” He held her while his heart returned its normal rhythm. He’d hurt her, damn it. Until she was willing to share the intimate details of her life, he was flying blind.
“I overreacted. I’m sorry.” Her voice was soft and husky, as if she were fighting to control her emotions.
“There’s nothing to be sorry about. This is how trust is developed. Now I know if our play gets too intense, you’ll make me aware of the situation and you now know that if you tell me to stop, I will. See, we’re making progress.”
“This doesn’t feel much like progress, Jacob.”
“Are we going to have a ‘half full, half empty’ conversation?” He kept his tone light, hoping she would relax.
“It’s pointless, I guess.”
“Far from it.” He looked around her office. He needed something to work with. “Those swatches of cloth over there”—he pointed toward a chair near the window—“can I use those for a few minutes?”
She looked first at the cloth then at his face. “You can’t tie me up. I’m sorry, it’s not you. It’s me. I have enough baggage to fill up an ocean liner. I wasn’t kidding when I said I had trust issues.”
Her face had paled and every ounce of tension was back in full force.
“Sasha, you are trying to anticipate my actions. You assumed I wanted you to play with yourself. I didn’t. You assumed I was going to tie you up. That wasn’t my plan. You told me you have trust issues and I heard you. I believe you.” Sid continued to hold her, soothing them both.
“I’m sorry,” she mumbled against his chest. “I don’t know what you want from me.”
“From the sound of things, your past experiences have been less than satisfying. I hope I�
�m not as predictable. Will you give me some leeway?”
“Are you sure it’s worth all this trouble? I think I’ve embarrassed myself enough for one night.” Sasha’s voice was so soft he had to strain to hear her.
“Enough of that. Lay down on your back, arms over your head, legs slightly apart. If you’d like, you may close your eyes.” He lifted her to her feet and gave her ass a sharp smack.
Her soft yelp made him chuckle. She’d shot him a dirty look, but heat had flared in her eyes as well. He didn’t look at her as he walked to the window. It had to be her choice to follow his instructions.
Sifting through the pieces of fabric, he found several that would suit his purposes nicely. With more trepidation than he’d experienced before, he turned around. A sigh of relief escaped seeing Sasha lying on the rug as directed.
She had been watching his every move. The knowledge made him determined to win her trust. He dropped his bundle just above her hands, hopefully out of sight.
He drew a piece of lace from the pile. “I want to use this as a blindfold. If you need to, you’ll be able to see through it. You’ll know you’re in no danger, but it will add a hint of mystery.” Sid held his breath while she considered it. When she nodded, he felt as if he’d won a major concession.
Carefully, he slid the fabric under her head and made a simple square knot on the side so she was able to lie back comfortably. Since he wasn’t the stop when you’re ahead type, he decided to roll the dice once more. “Open your hands.”
He wrapped another piece of cloth around her wrists, but put the ends into her palms. “I’m not going to tie this. You’re going to hold it in place for me. If you needed to, you could easily get loose.”
Watching her closely, he noticed her pulse beating wildly through the vein in her neck. As he placed his hand on her arm, she jumped. “You’re doing fine, Sasha. Take a deep breath and slowly let it go. You can do this. I’m not going to hurt you and if you need to stop just say so.”
Once her shoulders sank a little deeper into the carpet, Sid ran a finger down the side of her breast. Her lips parted and a soft sigh escaped. From the pile of material, he drew a silk sash. He lightly ran the cloth down the valley between her breasts and in figure eights across her stomach. She pulled the cloth she was holding so tightly her knuckles turned white.