by Tori Carson
Sid circled her tits with the cool fabric, but never across her nipples. Sasha groaned as he once more stopped short of brushing against her pebbled tips. She arched her back, pushing her chest closer to him. Her breathing shallowed and came out in pants.
He chose a fabric with a harsher texture from the pile. Sid wasn’t sure what it was, but he knew it contained wool. Instead of a light caress, he applied a bit of pressure as he drew the material over her sensitized skin. Goosebumps rose and her nipples hardened further. He took his time learning her every curve.
The sweet cooing sounds wreaked havoc with his cock. “I want to be inside you and I think you want me there.”
“Yes.”
“But you’re not ready yet. You need to be much more aroused.” That wasn’t entirely the truth. He had little doubt he could bring her to orgasm, but he didn’t want their play to end. Sid needed this time with her. Needed to build a bridge of trust and desire. He needed to prove to her that cuddling wasn’t the only pleasure derived from sex.
“Jacob, I am. I really am. “
“It’s a shame then that I’m in charge and I say differently.” He knew his voice was smug and he didn’t bother to hide it.
Her groan made him chuckle. She was so beautiful lying before him. As he ran the silk between her legs, she bucked her hips upward.
Sid drew the coarse fabric lightly over her clit. Her gasp sent his cock throbbing. Damn, she was perfect. He trailed his finger over the same path, pleased to find her as wet as he’d expected. Slowly, he slid his middle finger inside her channel. She was so tight she was going to strangle his dick. The mere thought of it shook his control.
Bending down, he pressed his lips to hers. She was intoxicating. As she opened for him, he plunged his tongue into her mouth. In time with his kiss, he thrust his finger inside her deliciously wet pussy. Her hips rocked forward to meet his assault. Over and over, his palm brushed against her clit.
As her body grew taut, he eased his touch, gentled and slowed his kiss. Pulling back was one of the hardest things he’d ever done, but he didn’t want her first orgasm from him to be a cheap hand job.
As their lips parted, she groaned, her chest rising and falling rapidly. He stood and quickly removed his belt. After kicking off his shoes, he pulled a condom from his wallet then dropped his pants to the floor and stepped out of them.
“Don’t worry, Sasha, I’m not going to leave you wanting.” He slid the protection down his cock before kneeling at her entrance. “No second thoughts?”
“No, Jacob. I’ve never felt like this before,” Sasha pleaded.
“We’ve barely gotten started, Misasha.” He watched her expression closely as he slowly pushed into her. Her moan as they connected felt like sweet victory.
Sid kept his hands on her hips, holding her still. He refused to rush and hurt her.
For just a moment, he pushed everything aside and allowed himself to revel in the feel of her body. She was tight, unbelievably so, but nice and wet. Slowly, he moved a little deeper. Sasha was pushing against his grip, trying to force him in all the way. He chuckled as satisfaction filled him. Knowing she needed him as fiercely as he wanted her was a hell of a rush.
He was lost, no doubt about it. Her innocence touched him deep inside, bringing out his protective nature. If she was guilty of those heinous crimes it would tear his heart out.
This woman was different from the others he’d been with. He felt connected to her, drawn to be with her.
So many ideas were going through his mind, Dominant thoughts, dark and controlling. Would they send her further into a submissive space or dredge a memory from the past and ruin it for her? He didn’t like playing in the dark.
“You’re so responsive. Do you know what that means to a man like me?”
“No.”
“It makes me harder than I thought possible. It makes me want to please you on a level you never knew existed.” His voice was deeper than normal, more rough and primal.
She surged forward, burying his cock inside her. The air rushed from her lungs as he slammed home.
“Jacob, I can’t take it.” The lace at the corners of her eyes darkened as tears dotted the material.
“But you will. You’ve given me the power to decide and in return I will give you more pleasure than you’ve ever experienced before.” Sid knew she was close and that she needed release. She needed to believe in him.
He drove into her over and over, making sure his strokes made contact with her clit. Her body tensed, her pelvis rose as she arched her back and pushed into him. Cries of pleasure bathed him in pride as her pussy contracted around his cock, sending him over the edge with her.
The force of his orgasm surprised him. With his focus almost solely on Sasha, he hadn’t expected his climax to be so powerful. As he emptied himself into her, he felt more than a physical release. He felt like he’d come home.
Sasha struggled to bring her frantic heart under control. It had finally happened. She’d finally come during intercourse. She wanted to laugh or cry. Emotions were pouring over her at a rate she couldn’t possibly sift through.
“Hold me, please.” Oh my, God. How could she ask to be held, like some helpless child?
Jacob wrapped his arms around her and somehow struggled into a sitting position with her on his lap. He held her like she mattered to him. A sob was wrenched from her soul. She hadn’t felt cared for in so fucking long.
Now that the dam had been breached she didn’t know if she’d ever stop.
“It’s okay, Sasha. I have you.” His fingers tangled in her hair as he wiped at her tears.
His arms burned into her, locking them together. With him, in this way, she felt whole, as if she’d found a place where she belonged. She hadn’t had that since her parents had died. Her brother had taken over her guardianship in name only. All he cared about was the money. He didn’t seem to even grieve over their deaths.
She hadn’t felt safe since. Until now.
It was stupid to feel such things from a virtual stranger. It had to be a post orgasm brain lapse or something.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m crying. I get weepy when I’m tired, that must be it.” She tried, half-heartedly, to put distance between them.
“Shh, relax.” He rocked her back and forth. “Giving someone trust is difficult to do.”
“Is that what I did?” She tried to tease him. “I think I tied your hands more than you tied mine.” It took more effort than she’d expected to unclench her fingers from around the cloth he’d given her to hold.
Jacob helped her unwind it from her wrists. The ligature marks shocked her. She hadn’t realized she had thrashed about so.
“As we experiment more, trust will come easier.”
She found herself nodding even though it would never happen. How could it when she was going to have to run again?
“Talk to me, Sasha. Tell me why trust is so hard for you?” Jacob asked softly as he brushed her bangs away from her face.
Her entire existence was a lie. What could she possibly tell him? Tears burned the backs of her eyes and her throat threatened to close. She wanted so badly to make a life with him.
“Has a man hurt you?” Again his voice was gentle, coaxing her to answer.
She rubbed her cheek along his shoulder until she could find her voice. “Haven’t we all been hurt at one time or another?” She didn’t want his pity, and letting him in any further would just make the pain that much harder when she left.
“Point taken…” He ran his hand through his hair before meeting her gaze. “Once upon a time, I thought I was in love. She was a damsel in distress and I wanted to be her knight in shining armor.” He gave her a self-deprecating chuckle. “Turned out she wasn’t in need of rescuing. I was.” He rested his forehead on hers for just a moment. “I trusted her to have my back. Instead, when I needed her most, she shot me. Literally.” He lifted a patch of hair and showed her an ugly scar. “I know betrayal intima
tely.”
Her heart ached for him. He’d shared a piece of himself and she felt the need to reciprocate. She wanted to tell him. It was on the tip of her tongue. The need to share her pain with someone who would understand was almost too great to ignore.
Sasha took several deep breaths and pushed away the hurt her brother continued to cause. Instead, she decided to share another horrific memory. This one was somewhat less heinous because it was perpetrated by a stranger and not a loved one.
“I had a meeting with a client. He lived downtown in an area that was part of a revitalization project. I had to park a few blocks away. By the time we were finished it was dark, the streets were empty. I was walking to my car when I was jumped from behind, beaten—” Damn it, her voice broke as the memories flooded her brain. “Raped.”
Jacob held her tighter and rubbed his chin in her hair. “Did the police catch him?”
Going to the police wasn’t an option. She couldn’t have anyone looking too closely at her past. “No.” Technically that wasn’t a lie.
“Do you carry a gun or a Taser?”
She felt the tension running through him and wondered what was causing it. “I don’t believe in violence.”
“How about self-preservation?” He sounded terse, but his arms never relinquished their hold on her.
She had no answer for him.
“I don’t understand that. If you’d been carrying a weapon then there would be one less bad guy out there.” He kissed her on the temple. “Think of it this way, who would you rather have walking freely down the street, you or the bastard that did that to you?” His hand was rubbing her lower back.
She shook her head. “One person isn’t more worthy than another.” She couldn’t take a life to save her own. She could never live with that. She shrugged. “He might change his ways, you just don’t know.”
“More likely, he will continue to rape until that loses its thrill and then he’ll have to up the ante and perhaps starting killing.”
“Or he could see the error of his ways, go to med school and find the cure for cancer. You just don’t know.” She refused to back down on this. “You of all people should be on my side. Look what a gun did to you.”
“A gun is just an instrument. A batshit crazy woman I foolishly trusted did this to me. Besides, it’s been my experience that people don’t change. Not like that. If you’ve had better experience, please share because I just don’t believe people can turn their life around like that.” He slid her backward until their eyes met.
Sasha was stunned by the intensity of his gaze. Looking at him hurt. Tears threatened to streak down her cheeks again as she realized she wanted a chance with him. She didn’t know if ride off into the sunset happy endings really existed, but she wished she could give it a shot with Jacob.
She looked away. Her life was a sham. She could no more begin a relationship with him than she could tell him her real name. Damn it. Why had she started this? If she just disappeared, as she needed to, Jacob would probably worry about her. That was the kind of man he was. Oh, she’d screwed up big time.
“No, I’ve never seen it happen, but I have hope it could.” She vowed to be as honest with him as possible for the short time they had left together.
Jacob chuckled and kissed the top of her head. “Okay, my little pacifist, at least tell me you’ve taken ju-jitsu.”
“Yes.” She held a seventh level black belt. “I don’t want to be hurt again…not like that.”
A slow, sexy smile emerged from Jacob. He used his index finger and thumb to tip her chin upward, holding her in place when she desperately wanted to turn away.
Her face heated as fire streaked through her veins. Jacob looked like he knew exactly what she’d been thinking. His hand, splayed at the base of her spine, teased and taunted her. What would it feel like to be swatted? Would it be erotic or just hurt?
He cocked his head and seemed to examine her from all angles. She wished she could hide.
“Are you trying to tell me something?” His voice was an octave lower and glided over her skin like satin.
“I… No, I was just making an observation.” Sasha realized this might be her one chance to find out what all the hoopla was about. While she couldn’t come out and ask for him to spank her, she wouldn’t turn it down either.
“Really? Forgive me, but I think the lady doth protest too much.” His smile had taken on a definite smirk quality.
“I was discussing my reasons for learning martial arts.” She gave him a sideways grin as she used her best haughty tone and tried to bluff her way through.
“So if I were to toss you over my lap and paddle your ass, you’d tell me to stop?” He slid his hand a little lower.
Where has all the air gone? She raised her eyebrow and tried to appear nonchalant. “What do you think?”
Jacob laughed. “I think you’d be startled, then as the heat spread and you grew wetter you’d want more.”
She feared he might be right.
“Shall we find out?” The amusement had faded from his voice and an edge had taken its place.
God help her, she wanted to know. Where had her naughty streak come from? She never thought about sex, let alone kinky sex. Hell, she blushed when she read that kind of thing. Yet she couldn’t deny her curiosity.
Shyly, she nodded.
“Say it, Sasha,” he ordered.
Her heart began to pound and her brain grew cloudy. She licked her lips and sought her voice. “Yes.” It was barely more than a whisper, but when his cock throbbed against her thigh she knew he’d heard her.
He wanted to spank her. What did that say about him? Was he just like all the other men she’d known? Was he excited by the idea of hurting her?
She began to tremble. What was she doing? Was she really that desperate for love?
His hand was applying pressure on her back, urging her into position.
“No. Don’t.” She tried to scramble off his lap. “I’m sorry, I’ve changed my mind.”
“Whoa, Sasha. I told you before we began that nothing would happen that you didn’t approve of ahead of time and I meant it. In return, I want your honesty. Why did you decide against it?” he asked patiently.
She shook her head. She couldn’t talk about this.
Chapter Eight
“I know you’re curious, so it isn’t from a lack of desire. My best guess is you think it’s wrong, that you can’t quite wrap your mind around a spanking being an erotic pleasure. Am I off base?” He kissed her forehead, willing her to answer him.
She felt like heaven in his arms. She fit him. Her body melded perfectly against him. Jacob was slipping into the background and Sid was taking over. He’d considered coming clean more than once. He didn’t want to lose her, and if his instincts were right, she was in serious danger. He needed to know the score, not to close a case, but to keep her safe.
He had to earn her trust and right now sex was the only tool available.
“Why do you want to hurt me? Why does that give you pleasure?” Her voice was thready and defensive.
“Hurting you would never bring me pleasure, Sasha. The very idea turns my stomach.” There was so much more he wanted to say but he held his tongue, hoping she’d to talk to him.
“I felt your…you getting exciting about it.” Her anguish rang clear.
“The idea of spanking you is arousing. Highly, in fact.”
“See!” Sasha pushed against his chest.
Sid ignored her protest and continued his explanation. “Because you’ll enjoy it. There is a bundle of nerve endings that can best be reached through impact. When done correctly, it can be very erotic. I won’t say it isn’t startling. The initial sensation is more sting than anything else, but rather quickly it evolves into a desirable heat. And frankly it’s a naughty thrill for both of us.”
She smiled but it didn’t seem legit. He got the impression she wanted to believe him, but she was still struggling with something.
&nbs
p; “Jacob”—she bit her bottom lip and looked up at him with tear filled eyes—“there are a lot of people in this world, both men and women, that get off hurting others.”
“Yes, you’re right. However, I’m not one of them.” He debated just how graphic he should be. While Sasha may crave a caveman, she was still very skittish. “I enjoy rougher play than you might be used to.” He took a handful of her hair and tugged. “A tingle along the scalp can get the blood pumping, can it not?”
She gasped and surprise registered across her face though she didn’t move to stop him. Desire flared for a moment, her pupils dilated and her nipples peaked. Having made his point, he released her hair and massaged away the sting.
“Did I hurt you?” he asked, knowing the answer.
Sasha shrugged and turned away from him.
“No, you need to talk to me.” He cupped his hand on the nape of her neck, ensuring she looked at him. “If you were to describe the sensation in one word would it be pain?”
“No.” She answered quickly and with conviction.
He was making headway. “Did I harm you in any way?”
She chuckled. “Only my peace of mind.”
He kissed her gently on the temple, knowing what that admission cost her.
“Now for the million dollar question. Would you want me to do it again?”
She groaned and tipped her head into his chest.
He clutched her hair again and pulled with constant, steady pressure that forced her head back so he could gaze into her eyes.
“Fine. Yes,” she confessed reluctantly.
“Yes, what?” He refused to let her brush it away.
She glared back at him defiantly for a moment then she closed her eyes and took a deep breath before admitting the truth. “I liked it.”
He released her hair and soothed away the ache. “Was that really that hard?”