Long Time Gone (Rough Riders)

by Lorelei James

“About Clara bein’ in a home? I’m not sure.”

  “Bullshit.”

  Carson’s gaze turned shrewd. “Why’re you getting pissed off?”

  “Because Kimi and her brothers had a right to know about Clara’s failing health. They would’ve had a chance to say goodbye.”

  “So what’s worse, Cal? Carolyn tellin’ her siblings their mother is damn near dead and none of them bothering to show up? Or Carolyn not tellin’ them at all?”

  “I don’t fuckin’ know, all right? I just understand how I’d feel if you made that big of a life or death decision without tellin’ me nothin’.”

  Carson stood. “I get that. It’s a fucked-up mess that’s liable to get worse in the next few days. Hate to say it, but I won’t be around much.”

  “I’ll tell Dad what’s goin’ on.”

  “Thanks.”

  At the door, Cal said, “When you see Kimi, tell her if she needs anything I’m a phone call away.”

  That caught Carson’s notice, as he’d known it would. “Something goin’ on between you and Kimi I oughta know about?”

  “We’re friends. We spent some time together after your wedding.” He wasn’t about to try and explain the immediate pull between him and the blonde spitfire either, when he didn’t understand it himself.

  “You keep in touch with her the past year?”

  Cal shook his head. He thought he’d see Kimi over Christmas break like they’d talked about last summer, but he knew from Carolyn that Kimi hadn’t come home.

  “I’ll pass it along to her.”

  “Take care. You need anything else, holler.”

  “Will do.”

  ***

  Kimi stared at her mother’s coffin as the priest droned on.

  She sat at the far end of the pew in the second row between her brother Thomas and her Aunt Hulda. Her married siblings were in the front pew. Harland had parked himself right next to Dad.

  She’d barely spoken to any of her siblings since she’d returned to Gillette three days ago. They’d had to postpone the funeral two additional days to allow time for Stuart and Thomas to travel back home.

  Within an hour of arriving in Gillette, she’d been knee deep in boxes as she packed the few remaining items from her childhood. Her aunt agreed to store them indefinitely. Kimi hadn’t offered to help sort her mother’s things; she’d left that to Carolyn and her aunt. Most everything except for a few pieces of jewelry would be donated to the Catholic mission anyway. So as the two of them pawed through the few things that marked her mother’s existence, Kimi had hid in the tall grass behind the shed and smoked. She’d rather get eaten alive by mosquitos and pick ticks off her skin than be in the same room with them, consumed by anger that the two people she loved more than anything in the world had betrayed her.

  Aunt Hulda had known her sister was dying. That’s why she’d taken a stand last summer, refusing to let Kimi remain with her parents. Dutiful Carolyn had known about their mother’s failing health and she’d put her own life aside to care for their ailing mother.

  Kimi couldn’t find forgiveness for anyone for keeping that from her. She would—eventually—but not now, not until after she’d had time to process it all.

  The priest spoke, pulling her out of her brooding. Then she knelt, crossed herself and listened to the choir sing another song about eternal love and redemption.

  After that, everything was a blur. The trip to the cemetery. The repast in the church basement. She shook herself out of her reverie and reminded herself it’d only been thirteen months ago they were in this same place celebrating her sister’s wedding.

  The moment arrived. Carolyn and Aunt Hulda were surrounded by ladies from the auxiliary. Her dad and her brothers were holding court in the corner. She caught Carson’s eye and he nodded.

  No one paid attention to her when she hooked her purse over her forearm and headed upstairs.

  Her brother-in-law was less than a minute behind her and he stopped her just outside the door. “Kimi. Sweetheart, I’m not convinced you’re thinkin’ straight. You sure you wanna do this?” Carson asked.

  “I’m positive.” She brushed past him and headed to the parking lot. After unlocking the trunk of her aunt’s car, she waited while Carson unloaded the suitcases. He carried the big one, leaving the smaller one to her. Then she followed Carson to Cal’s pickup, parked alongside the curb.

  Her heart raced when she snuck a quick look at Cal. He wore his usual cowboy getup, jeans and a white shirt that stretched across his broad shoulders and chest. She couldn’t see his eyes; the bright sunshine forced him to duck his head, keeping his face in shadow beneath his cream-colored cowboy hat. The muscles in his arms rippled as he hefted the enormous suitcase into the truck box.

  Carson sidled in front of her. “After you’ve had some time to cool off, you call her and let her know where you are. Promise me.”

  “I will.”

  He offered her a brief hug, muttered something to Cal and then sauntered off.

  Before Kimi uttered a peep, he effortlessly lifted her off her feet and wrapped her in his arms. “Sweet darlin’. I’m so sorry,” he murmured in her hair.

  She clung to him, breathed in the scents of sunshine and shaving cream and Cal. She felt normal for the first time in a week.

  As much as she wanted to stay like that, they had to go before her family realized she wasn’t in the church.

  Cal set her down. Keeping her hand clasped in his, he towed her around the front of the truck and hoisted her into the driver’s side.

  She slid across the bench seat to her side.

  He got in and popped the truck into gear. “You really want me to take you straight to the bus station? You have got a few hours until the next bus leaves, right?” He eyed her black dress and heels. “Do you really wanna sit in the dirty terminal in them pretty clothes?”

  “Where else would I go?”

  “Come to my place. I won’t pester you to talk. You can sit out in the swing. I’ll even feed you.”

  “The next bus leaves at eight tonight.”

  “I’ll have you there in time.”

  It would be nice to just relax. “Okay.”

  Cal smiled. He picked up her hand and kissed her knuckles.

  The day was oppressively hot. She rolled down the window and let the air eddy around her, her mind blessedly blank. For once she didn’t mind the repetitive scenery.

  “You really just plan on leavin’ without a word?”

  “I wrote Aunt Hulda a letter and taped it on the steering wheel of her car. She had more warning that I planned to leave because I’d given notice two weeks before Mom died that I’d be hopping a Greyhound at the end of the month. Carson has the letter I wrote to Carolyn.” She’d kept both letters short.

  “That’s something, anyway.”

  Cal didn’t speak again until they’d parked in front of his house. “You got anything in them suitcases that could melt? Gonna get hotter than sin out here.”

  “Makeup.”

  “It’d be best if I set your suitcases inside the house.”

  As soon as Kimi’s feet hit the dirt, she heard yapping. She looked at Cal. “You have a dog?”

  “Yeah. It gets lonelier livin’ on your own than I imagined.” A sheepish look crossed his face and she wanted to hug him. “She’s good company. But watch out ’cause she’s still a puppy.”

  “What kind of dog?”

  “Australian shepherd-blue heeler mix.” Cal lifted the luggage as if it weighed nothing. “She’s in the backyard. You’d better change so she doesn’t tear your stockings and dress to shreds.”

  Kimi snagged the small case and once they were inside, headed for the bathroom. She stopped in the living room. “You have furniture.”

  “Well, darlin’, it has been over a year since you’ve been here. So why are you surprised?”

  “I figured you’d be the type to leave it empty until you got married and let your wife decorate it.”

&
nbsp; “Nope. I can’t go that long without a TV. And I have an aversion to a couch covered in flowers that I can’t sit on.”

  In the bathroom she changed into a pair of floral pedal pushers and a sleeveless blouse, not bothering to put on shoes. Wandering through the house, she paused by the screen door to watch Cal playing with his dog. He’d ditched the western shirt in favor of his undershirt. Lord. The man looked even more muscled than the last time she’d seen him.

  Then her attention was completely commandeered by a black and white and gray puppy bounding all over the place. The little dog would run toward Cal, stop, jump back, jump sideways. The puppy tore circles around him, yipping and barking until Cal was laughing so hard he had to rest on his knees. The puppy plopped right beside him, panting like crazy.

  A warm, sweet feeling flowed through her at seeing such an unguarded moment. The instant she opened the screen door, the puppy’s ears perked up. Then she emitted the cutest, most ferocious sounding barks as she raced forward to assess the threat to her master.

  “Gigi!” Cal shouted. “Sit.”

  Gigi ignored him and jumped up on Kimi, her paws leaving muddy prints on Kimi’s pants, her tail wagging crazily. “Hey, sweet girl.” Kimi felt Cal’s eyes on her. “You’re a pretty little thing. Even your dog has those gorgeous blue eyes like yours.” Stupid thing to say, Kimi. Trying to mask the awkward moment, she petted and praised the dog until the pup rolled over and showed her belly. She laughed.

  “I’m happy to hear that sound,” Cal said quietly.

  “So you’re not chastising me for laughing just a few hours after I buried my mother?”

  “Not my business to judge you.” He looked down at her hand on Gigi’s belly. “She likes you.”

  “Puppies like everyone.”

  “True. But not everyone likes puppies.”

  “I love them. We weren’t allowed to have pets, which I understand because they would’ve been neglected.” Just like I was. “I swore that someday I’d have as many dogs as I wanted. Now I’ve added chickens to the list of future critters.”

  Cal crouched down. “Chickens? Why?”

  “A friend of mine from St. Mary’s was from an Ag family. I went home with her one weekend and found out that her mom raised chickens. I thought it was the funnest thing, gathering eggs in the morning. Who knew chickens had different personalities? I went from knowing nothin’ about them to wishing I had my own flock.”

  “Maybe someday you will.”

  “Maybe.” Gigi whined and Kimi scratched under her chin. “Poor neglected pup. Are you hungry?”

  “Speakin’ of… Are you hungry?” Cal asked.

  “No. But I wouldn’t turn down a shot of Jack.” Kimi kept ruffling the puppy’s soft fur as she gazed at Cal. “You don’t have to worry that I’m a minor. Two weeks ago I turned eighteen and I’m legally an adult.”

  A strange look flitted through Cal’s eyes and then it was gone. “Look, I have no problem with you knocking back a shot. But I can’t in good conscience give you booze and then put you on a bus with a bunch of strangers.” He sighed. “Besides, I don’t think you’re thinkin’ clearly. Grief screws you up.”

  She put her hand over the top of his as he pet the dog. “You’re probably right. Still, I could use whiskey to take the edge off. But then I’d be shit outta luck as far as where to go because I won’t spend another night under my dad’s roof and I’m too mad at Carolyn to stay with her and Carson.”

  “Then have that drink and stay with me tonight. I’ve got plenty of room.”

  “Stay here with you?”

  “Yeah. You could crash on the couch. It’d just be a friend helpin’ out another friend.”

  Their eyes met.

  Kimi saw nothing but sincerity in his steady gaze. Maybe the fact Cal hadn’t heard from her or seen her in a year had cooled his feelings. “No girlfriend to get jealous?”

  “Nope. Gigi here is my only girl.”

  “Okay. I’ll stay. But you’ll take me to the bus station tomorrow?”

  “As soon as I finish chores I’ll take you wherever you want to go.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Sit tight. I’ll grab the bottle.”

  “The whole bottle?”

  Cal smoothed a wayward curl behind her ear. “Somehow I don’t think a single shot is gonna be enough for you.”

  Kimi played with the puppy until Gigi tired of fetch and settled in the grass. She crossed the yard and looked around.

  In the last year Cal had added a roof over the cement slab, turning the area into a shaded patio. He even had two lounge chairs. He set two shot glasses on the stump that served as a table. Then he filled the glasses halfway before he sat next to her.

  She picked up her purse, pulling out her cigarettes and matches. “Mind if I smoke?”

  “Go ahead.”

  Cal passed over her shot.

  It went down so smoothly she decided to have another.

  After a bit, he said, “I know I told you I wouldn’t pester you to talk, but I have to ask if you knew your mother was so sick?”

  Kimi exhaled a stream of smoke and waggled her empty shot glass at him. “Can I answer that after I’ve had a few more of these?”

  “It’s your liver. But I’ll warn ya. Have too many and you’re on your own. I’m not the kinda guy who holds your hair back as you puke.”

  “I don’t plan on puking.”

  His raised dark eyebrow was a blatant we’ll see.

  Following Kimi’s second cigarette and third shot, Cal reached for her hand and threaded their fingers together. “Time to pay the piper and tell me what’s goin’ on.”

  That provided the push she needed to tell him everything. She didn’t leave anything out, including what’d happened after she’d left his house last year.

  “Hell, darlin’. That is some seriously fucked-up stuff.”

  “I know.” She looked at him. “Carolyn didn’t tell you any of this?”

  He shook his head. “Carson only mentioned he’d known your mom was on death’s door when he came over to tell me she’d died. And I ain’t gonna lie. I gave him what-for about Carolyn keepin’ you in the dark.”

  “Is that why you were so eager to help me?”

  “Partially. And knowin’ what happened after you left here that night explains a lot as to why I hadn’t heard from you at all.”

  “I figured it was a one-night thing.”

  “Wrong. And you damn well know that’s wrong.”

  Kimi stubbed out her cigarette, wondering how far she should go in this truth telling. “You’re right. I’m sorry I didn’t write you a letter or anything. I had some stuff to work out.” As soon as she’d returned to Montana last year, she’d started making plans.

  “It wasn’t like I could ask Carolyn how you were doin’. Not even why you didn’t come back for Christmas.”

  “She didn’t know why I’d cut out all contact with Mom and Dad.” She felt Cal studying her.

  “So the last time you spoke to your folks…?”

  “Was the night we had the big blow-up. So I’ve got a ton of guilt over that. But now I’m pissed that Carolyn didn’t say shit to me about what was really goin’ on with Mom. Neither did Aunt Hulda. So then I get here and find out every one of my siblings knew she was dying except for me.” She firmed her wobbling chin. “How is that fair? The one child who needed to make amends didn’t get the chance.” That’s when her voice broke and the tears started.

  Cal picked her up and tucked her against his side. He whispered, “Hey. It’s okay. Let it out, darlin’. I got you.”

  She blubbered in his arms until calmness and too many shots of Jack turned the lights out.

  Chapter Six

  Kimi slept like the dead.

  Not that Cal would say that to her, beings she’d buried her mother today.

  Gigi woke up wanting to play and brought the ball over. With Kimi sacked out almost on top of him, Cal kept one hand on her back and used his other
hand to play fetch.

  When the day began to dim, his stomach growled. He carefully shifted to standing and carried Kimi into the house, the puppy on his heels.

  Cal paused in the living room, debating on whether to lay her on the couch. But if he wanted to watch TV, the noise would wake her, so he headed down the hallway to his bedroom. He started to lower her onto the bed when she stirred. Glancing into her face, a surge of tenderness overwhelmed him.

  “So sleepy,” she slurred.

  “I know. Which is why I’m tuckin’ you into bed, sweet darlin’.” Cal left her clothes on and slipped her between his sheets. He sat on the edge of the bed, his heart heavy. He murmured, “Glad you decided to stay tonight.”

  “Me too.” Kimi rolled over, giving him her back.

  Gigi immediately jumped up and snuggled in beside her.

  “Good girl. Keep an eye on her.”

  ***

  Cal slept on the couch.

  He tried not to disturb Kimi early the next morning as he rummaged in his closet for work clothes.

  The bed squeaked and he turned around just as Kimi sat up.

  At some point during the night she’d whipped off her shirt, leaving her in a black bra that emphasized the fullness of her breasts.

  “Cal?”

  Look at her face. But goddamn, that wasn’t any better. She looked cute as hell, her hair sticking up all over the place. Her eyes slumberous.

  “Hey.”

  She stretched her arms over her head and released a satisfied-sounding groan. “How long was I out?”

  So much for not looking at her tits. “Twelve hours.”

  Kimi froze. “What? It’s…morning?”

  “Yeah. I’ve gotta check cattle but I’ll be back around noon.”

  She looked at the other side of the bed. “Where did you sleep last night?”

  “On the couch. Gigi stayed with you.”

  “So I took your bed and your dog.” Realizing she was half-naked, she pulled the sheet up. “I’m sorry to be such a pain in the ass, Cal.”

  “You had a rough day. You obviously needed to sleep. I’m just glad you were here and not on a bus to god knows where.”

  “Vancouver.”

  “What?”

  “You’ve said ‘on a bus to god knows where’ a couple of times. I’m goin’ to Vancouver and then I’ll get on a boat that’s takin’ workers to Juneau.”