In the Wreckage: (M/M Sci-Fi Military Romance) (Metahuman Files Book 1)

by Hailey Turner

  “I can’t,” Jamie ground out, voice tight, almost guttural. The look in his blue eyes wasn’t anger, but resigned regret that Kyle wanted to desperately hide from.

  Kyle ran a hand through his hair, taking in a deep breath. “Are we done, Captain Callahan?”

  Jamie looked like Kyle had punched him at the use of his name and rank. “Kyle—”

  “No. You said what you wanted to say. You get me on your team, but we both don’t get what we want. Maybe tomorrow I’ll respect that, but right now, I can’t. I’m done.”

  Kyle wasn’t in the mood to continue this conversation anymore. He wanted out—out of this room, off this base, out of his fucking head. He knew what he needed, what he wanted, and if Jamie wouldn’t give it to him, he’d search for it somewhere else.

  A tiny voice in the back of his head told Kyle he would never find it again outside of the man standing in front of him.

  Kyle told that voice to shut the fuck up.

  He headed for the door, but Jamie was in the way. Kyle stopped just short of Jamie, staring up at him. This close, he could see a multitude of emotions in Jamie’s eyes, on his face, but Kyle couldn’t even begin to decipher it all. He didn’t want to if the answer was still going to be the same.

  “You’re an honorable man, Jamie,” Kyle said around the anger and pain lodged in his throat. “I shouldn’t wish otherwise, but I do. Maybe that makes me a terrible person, but that’s how I feel right now.”

  He stepped around Jamie, refusing to look back.

  “Where are you going?” Jamie called after him.

  “To find someone who wants to fuck me since you won’t.”

  It was a low blow, but Kyle was angry enough to not immediately regret the words.

  And it was telling, oh so telling, that Jamie didn’t come after him as he left the room.

  It didn’t take long for Kyle to figure out how to get off base. He could sign a car out of the motor pool but opted for a ride out to their borrowed apartment courtesy of a low-ranking agent. Kyle commed Alexei on the drive off base, but his brother wasn’t picking up, so he left a message.

  “<>”

  The ride took over an hour on a Saturday night due to an influx of traffic. Kyle declined the driver’s offer to wait around and take him back to base when he was done. He had no intention of returning to the MDF tonight.

  Once inside the apartment, Kyle stripped out of his uniform in favor of tight black jeans and an even tighter crimson button-down shirt sure to get him noticed. He opted for a pair of dress boots over his sneakers, didn’t do anything with his hair, and ordered a cab. It showed up five minutes later, the driverless vehicle taking him halfway across D.C. to the heart of the megacity’s nightlife.

  Clubs, bars, and restaurants catering to all tastes filled the streets and connected skyscrapers. Crowds of well-dressed people moved along the sidewalks and aerial pedestrian bridges, everyone out to have a good time.

  Kyle hated crowds. His line of sight was shit in urban settings, but he forcibly shoved that thought aside. He wasn’t here to watch his team’s six. He was here to get out of his head, and the best way to do that was to find a willing body. Hopefully this time he wouldn’t make the same mistake twice when he picked up someone tonight.

  Except Jamie wasn’t a mistake, Kyle reminded himself as he paid the cover charge to enter a lounge on the tenth level of a skyscraper. The wait had only been about fifteen minutes to get past the velvet ropes. He’s just someone I can’t have.

  Honestly, Kyle had shitty luck in his life. First, he was born to shitty biological parents. Then he got a shitty mission that turned him into a metahuman, and now he was in the middle of a shitty situation that would’ve been fine if he’d just never met Jamie before they had to work together. Because Kyle knew what he was giving up and fuck if it didn’t kill some part of him to do so.

  Kyle blinked rapidly to let his vision adjust to the dim interior atmosphere. The Hawthorn was crowded, all the seats at the bar and cozy booths lining the walls taken. The dance floor in the rear was filled to capacity. Kyle sized the room up as he waited to get a drink from the bar, noticing more than a few interested looks thrown his way.

  “What are you having?” the bartender asked when it was finally his turn.

  “Pale ale. Doesn’t matter what kind,” Kyle said. He could afford a couple of those tonight and not break his account.

  “You got it.”

  He swiped his wrist over the payment sensor embedded in the bar and took his beer with a thanks once the bartender finished pouring it. Kyle sipped at it as he made his way through the bar, searching out a little bit of space for himself in the masses. He put his back against the wall near a booth and watched the crowd.

  It didn’t take long for someone to find him.

  The guy in question wore a dress shirt over dark-washed jeans and an easy smile. His black hair looked like it’d taken forever to style, but Kyle didn’t care. He took a sip of his beer and let his gaze rake up and down the other man in an obvious manner.

  The man’s smile deepened into a knowing smirk. “Couldn’t help but notice you earlier. You here with anyone?”

  “No,” Kyle said. “I’m not waiting for anyone either.”

  “I’d offer to buy you a drink, but it looks like you beat me to it.”

  Kyle shrugged. “I’d offer to let you fuck me, but not if you want to be nice about it.”

  The man blinked, a little startled at Kyle’s aggressive attitude. He rallied quickly though, stepping into Kyle’s personal space with a flirtatious smile and wandering hands. “That a fact?”

  Kyle arched an eyebrow and set his beer down on the shelf running the length of the bar. “I don’t ask for what I don’t want.”

  “Then how about we find somewhere else to be?”

  Before Kyle could even open his mouth, someone answered for him.

  “How about no?”

  Kyle wrenched his gaze away from the stranger’s face, staring in shock at the man who’d followed him there. “What the hell are you doing here?”

  Jamie met Katie in his office fifteen minutes after Kyle had left him in the conference room, the other man’s words still ringing in his ears. Just the thought of Kyle looking for someone else to fuck made Jamie furious—with Kyle for looking elsewhere and with himself for refusing to say yes. But he only had himself to blame for his current situation.

  You can’t have it both ways, Jamie reminded himself viciously as he greeted Katie with a forced smile.

  “How’s Dvorkin doing?” Jamie asked.

  “I got him a room on base. Told him we’d figure out off-base living arrangements within the next few days. That’s paperwork I don’t want to start tonight,” Katie said as she took a seat. “Brannigan?”

  Jamie swallowed around the lump in his throat. “Said he needed some time to think.”

  Katie rubbed tiredly at her eyes. “This is a mess all around, but I think it’ll work out.”

  “So do I.”

  Something out of the ordinary must have come through his voice to make her lift her head and pin him with those too-knowing eyes of hers. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing’s wrong,” Jamie replied cagily.

  “Let’s cut the bullshit song and dance of me asking and you denying for the next ten minutes and try again. What’s wrong?”

  Jamie leaned back in his chair and pressed the heels of his hands over his eyes and pressed down hard until brightly colored spots burst across his eyelids. “Can we not?”

  “Sure, but we won’t.”

  Jamie dropped his hands and glared at her, which wasn’t fair, because she didn’t deserve to bear the brunt of his anger. “You are a persistent pain in my ass, Ovechkina.”

  “Flattery will get you nowhere, Callahan. Now tell me what’s going through your head.”

  For all that they both reported to Psych for mandatory me
etings to care for their mental health, sometimes talking it out between themselves was more effective. Jamie had leaned on Katie for years and he didn’t see that ever changing. She was his best friend. He loved her like a sister and always would, but sometimes he wished she didn’t know him so well.

  “Funny you should mention the job.” He cleared his throat and leaned his head back to stare up at the ceiling. “That’s the crux of the problem.”

  “You getting grief from the higher-ups?”

  “No. This is all on me.”

  “Well, I can’t help you if you don’t open your mouth.”

  “I met someone, all right?”

  “Are you talking about the guy from Monday night?”

  He thought about lying, but lying to himself was what got him here in the first place. “Yes.”

  “Since when did you have time to track him down around our mission and through our copious amount of meetings over the past few days?”

  Jamie lowered his head and simply stared at her. Katie, ever his intelligent second-in-command, heard what he wasn’t saying like she always did on the battlefield and came to the correct conclusion within seconds.

  Her eyes widened a little in shock before she straightened up in her chair. “Ceres, initiate privacy blackout mode.”

  “Privacy blackout mode engaged,” the AI promptly replied.

  Katie leaned forward, never blinking. “Is this about Brannigan?”

  “Are you sure you’re not reading my mind?” Jamie asked plaintively.

  “So it’s about Brannigan.”

  “Yes, it’s about Kyle,” Jamie said, using Kyle’s first name to make a point. “Monday was stressful, and when I finished having dinner with my father, I went to a bar. I wasn’t looking for anything more than a drink when he found me.”

  “You didn’t know he was military?”

  “It was a civilian bar and he wasn’t in uniform. Neither was I.”

  Katie hummed thoughtfully. “Do you want to be with him?”

  “I’m his CO, Katie,” Jamie said quietly, tiredly, wishing the words didn’t taste like acid on his tongue.

  A soft, almost sorrowful look crossed her face. “You’re too damn honorable for your own good sometimes, Jamie. How you have the family you do, I have no idea.”

  “I’m not worried about my family. I’m worried about—” Jamie broke off with a grimace and waved a hand to encompass his office. “He’s on the team. I can’t be with him.”

  “You could.” Katie arched an eyebrow when he opened his mouth to protest. “But you won’t, I know. Where is he? On base?”

  Jamie worked his jaw, unable to hide the raw anger at the thought of where Kyle was going. “He’s off base.”

  Again, Katie proved she knew him too well. “Looking for someone else since you said no, I bet.”

  Jamie unclenched his fingers from the armrest of his chair before he broke it. “Telling him no was the right thing to do.”

  “Maybe. But Jamie, you’re a metahuman now. I’m pretty sure that fact gives you enough leverage to survive any blowback if anyone finds out,” Katie said quietly. “You know the team would cover for you both, right? I don’t know about Dvorkin, because he’s new, but give me five minutes with him in a locked room and I’ll make sure he’s on the same page as the rest of us. I won’t even need to resort to telepathy.”

  Jamie barked out a laugh. “You’re unbelievable.”

  “I’m right. And that’s better than unbelievable any day of the week.”

  He stopped laughing. “Yeah,” he said slowly after a long moment. “You usually are.”

  Katie pulled her slim tablet out of her pocket and tapped at the screen a few times before snapping her fingers at Jamie. He slid his tablet across his desk to her and watched as she swiped her fingers over her screen, transferring whatever information she was working with onto his tablet. His screen lit up with a map of D.C. and a tiny, blinking blue dot.

  “Kyle’s location,” Katie said as she slid his tablet back over to him before getting to her feet. “I’m not going to tell you to go after him, because that’s your choice. But do expect me to call you a fucking idiot in every language I know tomorrow if you don’t.”

  She nodded goodbye before slipping out of his office. Jamie sat there for a few moments, staring at the moving dot on the map, and thought about what Katie had said. Thought about what Kyle had wanted, when he asked Jamie to try to make this situation work.

  Jamie wondered what it would be like to have Kyle on the team and never again touch him in an intimate way. To know Kyle would always go looking for someone else to give him what he needed like he was tonight until he found a man who wasn’t Jamie to share his life with. Jamie prided doing what was right over doing what he wanted and always would. He stood by his honor and sense of duty, but neither of those would keep him warm at night.

  I can’t let him go, Jamie thought with aching realization.

  He never thought he’d find someone he was willing to risk his career for until Kyle came along. A single night of passion was enough to make Jamie be selfish and reckless and damn the consequences. For once in his life, Jamie would give in to temptation. The fear of losing Kyle as his forever was a big enough threat to override his guilt at breaking his military oaths.

  “God fucking damn it,” Jamie muttered under his breath as he stood up and started to undress. Jamie kept a civilian suit in his office for emergency situations that required it.

  This was definitely an emergency.

  Jamie changed clothes in record time. Within ten minutes of leaving his office, he was behind the wheel of his Bentley, one eye on the road ahead and one on the program tracking Kyle’s whereabouts. When the dot changed directions after being stationary for twenty minutes or so, Jamie changed course. He was a couple of minutes behind when the dot slowed from a speed that suggested a car to the slower pace of being on foot.

  Jamie pulled into the first parking garage he came to. He cut someone off in order to take a parking spot, which resulted in the other guy getting out of his sports car, ready to fight. The second he saw Jamie and the look on his face, the other man held up his hands and backed away.

  “You know what? Take the spot,” the guy said.

  Jamie ignored him and headed for the exit. Saturday night in D.C. was a mess of people having a good time or waiting for their chance to start the moment a spot opened up. He bypassed lines of people waiting to get into clubs and restaurants until he found himself in front of a lounge with a cluster of people waiting behind the velvet rope and a bouncer who got in the way when Jamie tried to get inside.

  “Whoa, hold up. There is a line, my friend,” the guy said, giving Jamie a hard smile.

  Jamie pinned the bouncer with a steely eyed look that had the other man going a little pale and taking half a step back. Jamie reined in his desire to get the bouncer out of his way by way of his fist and settled on the next best thing.

  “What’s your bribe?” Jamie asked, forcing his voice into a friendly cadence that set his teeth on edge.

  The guy blinked stupidly at him. “Um. We’re not supposed to take bribes.”

  Jamie raised an eyebrow, not bothering to keep the condescension out of his voice. “Really.”

  The bouncer seemed to figure out what Jamie’s angle was and rallied enough to recklessly say, “A thousand dollars.”

  “Fine.”

  The bouncer’s jaw dropped, but he scrambled to produce a personal tablet, which Jamie scanned his RealIdent chip over, transferring money to the other man’s account. The funds were real, even if his ID wasn’t, and he walked inside the Hawthorn without a backward glance.

  The lounge was full of people, every seat taken, and the music was enough to give him an instant headache if Jamie got those anymore. He ignored the looks and smiles thrown his way as he moved through the crowd, gaze sweeping over those assembled, looking for the only person who mattered. He was halfway to the dance floor before he caught a glimps
e of a familiar profile. Changing direction, Jamie maneuvered between numerous people to get where he needed to be, interrupting a conversation without apology.

  “Then how about we find somewhere else to be?” the stranger asked.

  “How about no?” Jamie snapped, loud enough to be heard over the music.

  He saw Kyle’s gaze lock on him, green eyes widening in shock. “What the hell are you doing here?”

  Jamie didn’t look away from Kyle’s face. “We need to talk.”

  The guy between them turned around to face Jamie. Unlike the guy in the parking garage or the bouncer, he didn’t seem intimidated by Jamie’s very presence. Maybe that was due to whatever alcohol he’d imbibed, but Jamie didn’t care.

  “Look, man. We were having a conversation and going to leave, so why don’t you—”

  Jamie reached out lightning-quick, grabbing the other man’s shoulder and hauling him close enough that Jamie could speak directly into his ear. “You don’t want to finish that sentence. If you do, I won’t be responsible for my actions.”

  Jamie squeezed the guy’s shoulder hard enough to make a point. The guy wasn’t stupid enough to ignore it, caving with a soft cry no one else heard beneath the music. Jamie moved him out of the way and watched him disappear into the crowd before refocusing his attention on Kyle, taking him in. Tight jeans, a tighter shirt, with his well-honed body on display like on Monday night, Jamie had a stupid, irrational urge to take off his suit jacket and wrap it around Kyle so no one else could see him. Instead, he opted for the next best thing.

  He crowded in close, pressing Kyle up against the wall and trapping him there. He dipped his head low, mouth brushing over the shell of Kyle’s ear. Even through the noise of the bar, he heard the sharp intake of Kyle taking a breath.

  “I’m sorry,” Jamie said.

  Kyle jerked at his words, his hands coming between them to press against Jamie’s chest and shove him away. Jamie wouldn’t be moved. He grabbed Kyle’s wrists, pulling back enough to look him in the eye. Kyle still hadn’t shaken off the shock of Jamie’s arrival, the clear disbelief filling his gaze making Jamie ache a little.