Between Love and Lies

by Jacqui Nelson

  He wanted more.

  “Do you remember when I told you I’d make you pay?”

  That part he had forgotten. What could he give her? What could she possibly want from him? His shoulders slumped. What she’d wanted from the start. Her farm. The acres he’d proposed they barter for her time.

  “I remember.” He turned to face her. “I—”

  The brilliance of her smile brought him to an abrupt halt. That and the fact she’d followed him and now stood a hand’s-breadth away. Smiling again. No, more like beaming. At him.

  He cleared his throat. “I remember.” He winced. She had him repeating himself like an awestruck schoolboy.

  The arch of her brows suggested she doubted if he did remember. She lifted her hand between them and tapped her index finger on his chest. “And you said?”

  “You deserved whatever payment you wanted for the hell you were enduring.”

  “Yes.” Her finger settled on his chest, finding a home. Even that light a touch sent shock waves through his body, making parts of him respond that were hard to ignore.

  “And?” she prompted.

  He wrenched his gaze from her hand. Her smile enthralled him again, along with her lips parted in expectation. He leaned toward her. Sweet Jesus, he wanted to—

  “You said you’d gladly give me whatever I asked for,” she reminded him.

  Finally, he understood what lay beneath her questions. “You’re wondering if I’ll keep my word.”

  She nodded. She’d handed him his opportunity, his chance to show her he was an honorable man.

  “I pay my debts.”

  Her smile faded. “Debts.” She said the word with a profound graveness as her gaze cut to the window, the one that had held her attention until she’d turned to him. “In this we are once more the same. Time to clear all of our accounts, I think.” She withdrew her finger from his chest. “Will you do what I ask?”

  He exhaled a long, reluctant breath before he could speak. “I will.”

  He should’ve returned her farm long ago. He’d used the excuse of the absence of a house on the land to hold onto her. His gift stood waiting, and Sadie was well enough to go see it. She was right. It was time. But he still couldn’t move.

  She did. She stepped around him, heading toward the other room. “Come with me.”

  He found he could move after all. In fact, his feet were already in motion, following her.

  She halted by the bed. Her gaze remained downcast, almost shyly so. But her tone, though quiet, held a note of command when she said, “Lie down.”

  That was the last thing he’d expected her to say. “Lie down?” he echoed in utter confusion.

  “You agreed you’d do as I asked.”

  His bewilderment knew no bounds. He didn’t know what to say or think. So he did as she bid him. The simple act of lying on his bed while she stood nearby made his heart race with anticipation—and more doubts.

  This couldn’t be happening. He must have misheard her request.

  “Sadie, I’ll give you back your farm. I should’ve done so long ago. Let me fetch the deed. It’s in the desk in the other room.”

  She dropped to her knees beside him. Her gaze swept the length of him, making his blood thud in his veins. “Twice now I’ve been laid out on this bed with fever and illness.”

  She’d omitted the other time she’d been “laid out” on his bed, provoking a twitch in the rapidly swelling area below his belt buckle. He shifted restlessly, remembering her lying on the bed beneath him, wanting her there again.

  A bloom of pink colored her cheeks. “You were always the one in control.”

  The truth was he’d lost every speck of self-restraint when he’d finally bedded her. She was like the sweet crisp air on the open prairie. He couldn’t get enough of her.

  “Have you ever known what that feels like?” she asked. “To be so completely under someone else’s power?”

  He knew, but he could do little more than nod. Suddenly, he grasped another truth. Despite recovering from her illness, she didn’t feel strong. He made her feel weak with his need to shelter her from harm. He couldn’t stop trying to protect her, but he could do whatever else she asked.

  “Tell me what you want.”

  “I’d rather show you.” Her fingertips brushed his shirtfront, glided down his stomach to the waistband of his trousers.

  Every muscle in his body snapped to attention as if he’d received the shock of his life, or the greatest gift. He lurched into a sitting position and captured her wrist. “You’re thinking about your book again.”

  Beneath her sinfully soft skin, her wrist went rigid as she balled her hand into a fist. “And you’re refusing me again.”

  “Yes. No.” His reply came out gruffer than he intended.

  A flash of sorrow widened her eyes, then her lids shuttered, hiding her thoughts. None of them could be good.

  “I’m not sure what I’m doing. I wanted to act—” He swallowed the word honorably. The only disgrace was him squashing her wish to spread her wings and fly. “You don’t have to do this.”

  “No, I don’t.” Her gaze drifted to the doorway. “But just once, I want to do something entirely for me before I must face the inevitable.”

  * * *

  I want to live before I die. She wanted to soar with no restraints, no holding back. Then maybe she could do more than stare out a window looking for threats. Then she could cross Front Street one last time and tackle Gertie head-on.

  As if he could read her thoughts Noah said, “If you’re asking me to let you return to the Star, I can’t. Nor can I let you leave Dodge alone. It’s too dangerous. I can’t let you go.” Despite his words, he released her wrist and slumped back onto the mattress. “I’ll gladly give you your farm though and as far as the rest…” His eyes glowed like molten gold. “I’m yours to command.”

  Her heart pounded with a hundred different requests. Where to start? “Will you take off your clothes? All of them?”

  He undressed quickly and lay down even faster. Mesmerized by his hard lean body and the powerful length of his arousal, she could only stare…until she recalled the picture of Fanny Hill holding that power in her hand.

  With the stroke of one finger, she made his strength swell. His hands moved to clutch the mattress while hers wrapped around him.

  His hips rose off the mattress. Startled, she loosened her hold. He slid through her grasp, on the way up and down. His deep rumble of appreciation encouraged her to repeat the action, many times.

  “I adore watching you move.”

  “Then you’d better stop.” His breathing grew ragged, as if he might shatter at any moment.

  She’d felt that way when he’d been inside her. “What happens if I don’t?”

  “I find release,” he said through gritted teeth. “Doubt if an earthquake could move me after that.”

  Her best odds of escaping the jail would be then. She didn’t want to think about leaving him. She wanted to be even closer to him than she was now.

  “Can you keep a firm hold on the mattress for a moment?”

  Without waiting for his answer, she released him. His growl of disappointment shook her when she laid her palms flat on his chest, and set one knee on the mattress beside his hips. She swung her other leg over to straddle him.

  He went dead still. His heat nestled against her naked core.

  “Merciful heaven. When did you remove your under-clothes?” His words rumbled, like the purr of a big cat.

  “After I left the window.”

  “You came in here.”

  “I hoped you’d agree to my request.”

  “I’m eager for your next command.” He held himself still, waiting.

  A burning need to be one with him swept over her. The wish to control him in any way went up in smoke. “Do whatever you want and I’ll do the same.”

  He moved inside her with incredible patience, giving her every opportunity to tell him to stop. When she
quickened the pace, he followed readily, until they both cried out. She soared with him over the highest precipice. When they came down, he cradled her in the haven of his arms.

  She’d won the jackpot, a love more precious than her own life.

  The only way she could continue winning was to return to the Star and kill Gertie, and Cora too. Then she’d have repaid Edward and guaranteed Noah’s safety. She’d also have ensured her departure from Dodge…courtesy of the hangman’s noose.

  But first she had to leave Noah’s embrace.

  * * *

  On top of him, Sadie tensed then relaxed again, still struggling to trust him. She wore her dress, while his clothing lay strewn about the floor. But he was far from naked. He didn’t move. He wanted to hold onto her forever.

  Underneath him, the bed began to vibrate. Tiny tremors that swelled until the trunks, the floor, the entire room rattled around them. His world in upheaval. Familiarly so.

  Fear tightened his arms around Sadie as she raised her head to scan the room. Her puzzled gaze sought his. “What’s happening?”

  His brother hadn’t even been able to voice those words, before he’d been swept away.

  “Stampede.” He set her on the bed, then scrambled to don his clothing and gun belt. By the time he had, the bellowing of the cattle had joined the chaos.

  “Why would a herd be loose in town?”

  “Only one way to find out.” He headed for the other room.

  She jumped to block his way. Her face had lost all color. “You can’t go out there. I won’t let you.”

  “I can’t stand back and let someone die.”

  She jabbed her finger toward the street on the other side of the wall. “Those people wouldn’t raise a hand to save you. They aren’t your brother.”

  His breath left him in a hiss.

  “Going out there won’t bring him back,” she added.

  “You’re right.”

  Her lips parted in surprise. “Then you’re staying?”

  “No.”

  “But you agreed!”

  “What about Bat?”

  Worry for the marshal flashed in her eyes before she ducked her head to hide her expression.

  “When Bat hired me, he asked me to help him stay alive. He’ll be out there protecting the townsfolk. If I can save him or someone else, I have to go.”

  She shook her head. “And who’ll save you?”

  Capturing her face in his palms, he pulled her close and kissed her hard. “You will,” he vowed against her lips. Then he folded her into his embrace and held her tight, praying it wouldn’t be the last time. “You’ll save me,” he repeated. “By promising you’ll stay here, safe inside these walls, until I return.”

  “To hell with that.” Her words came out hoarse. “I’m going with you.”

  An image of her chasing after him only to be crushed by the herd flashed in his mind. The pain that stabbed his heart was a hundred times sharper than when he’d watched her try to shoot him and spooked his herd instead. He’d barely reached her before she’d been killed.

  Any other time, he’d welcome her by his side. Not now.

  “Come with me.” Taking her by the hand, he led her into the other room.

  That she followed him without question, clasping his hand without reservation, filled him with a joyous wonder—until he stopped to lift the brass key ring from the nail on the wall.

  Her hand went rigid. She fought him every step of the way back to the cell, struggling to break free and cursing a blue streak when he wouldn’t let her.

  He couldn’t meet her gaze as he put her in the cell and locked its door to keep her there. Her sudden silence spurred him to run. He raced across the room to join the runaway herd and whatever else awaited him in their midst, leaving behind everything he loved.

  CHAPTER 18

  Through the bars, across the room—so very near but impossible to reach and halt—Noah jerked open the door onto Front Street. The thunder of hundreds of hooves knocked her back on her heels. The bawling of the panicked beasts held her there. For a split second, Noah paused with his back to her, silhouetted against the surge of hide and horn racing by…then he slammed the door behind him.

  The loss of the sight of him made her cry out. She pressed against the bars. She couldn’t hear him lock the door, but she knew he would. He’d taken the blasted keys with him.

  A silent chant rose in her mind. Come back. Come back. A useless plea. The fastest way she’d see him again was by using not her voice but her hands.

  She yanked a pair of pins from her hair.

  With her cheek against the bars, she strained to see the keyhole her fingers found by touch on the other side. Turning the pins from the opposite direction proved time consuming. So did remembering to do everything in reverse.

  Outside the jail, the din ebbed. Her fear receded with it, then came crashing back. If by some miracle Noah had lingered on the relative safety of the boardwalk, the lull in the stampede wouldn’t keep him there. He’d make his move to help the townsfolk now.

  Every step he took away from her exposed him to more of Dodge’s dangers, both beast and man. She wouldn’t let him tackle this battle alone.

  That she couldn’t even see him made her tremble, fumble and almost drop one pin. If she never saw him again— If he died—

  The lock beneath her fingertips clicked open. She made a beeline for the door. A flash of movement in the window captured her attention and halted her there instead. Across the thoroughfare with just a few stray cattle loping between them, Noah stood, tall and unbowed.

  Unhurt as far as she could see. And not alone. Thank the Lord.

  Bat helped him guide several men who staggered, either dazed or injured, into the Dodge House Hotel. She turned to the door to follow them and stopped.

  For the moment, Noah was safe, and she was the one who was alone. That hadn’t happened since she’d dashed across the street, shrouded by the night and a storm. This was her one chance to ensure Noah stayed alive by returning to the Star and killing both Gertie and Cora.

  Her mind balked at taking a life. Could she do it? She had little time to decide, but whatever came next she’d do better armed.

  On the other side of the desk, a cabinet full of long gleaming rifles drew her attention. She wouldn’t get anywhere near Gertie or Cora carrying a weapon that big and brash. Her hand went to the pocket sewn into her skirt. Perfect for concealing a palm pistol.

  The trunks in the bedroom might— Her shoulders sagged. She’d finished her search. She hadn’t seen any derringers there. A rifle would have to do.

  As she rounded the desk to collect one, she tried to ignore the knot in her gut. It grew in direct proportion to her dwindling odds of success. Leaving behind the last of her secrets might help Noah.

  She paused when she reached the guns. She must do everything she could to increase the chances of his survival. The truth of Edward’s death could not be buried with her. It must be committed to paper and left in her stead. In search of pen and paper, she turned and opened a desk drawer.

  The derringer atop a pile of paper took her breath like an arm around her throat.

  The floral scroll engraving the barrel was unmistakable. Not so long ago, this miniature gun had threatened to finish her life when a card cheat’s luck had ended. No different than Dodge’s other ill-fated souls, Davenport’s belongings had come to rest in the jail. The thought that this tiny weapon might’ve been his only possession when he’d entered the Star made her limbs heavy as lead.

  A life squandered. She straightened her spine. She would not waste what remained of hers.

  She shoved the derringer in her pocket and dug through the drawer’s contents. A plethora of wanted posters and notices passed through her fingers. Useless without pen and ink. She found the deed to her farm, didn’t care, didn’t stop. She tossed a spare set of jail keys on the desk. Useless as well, now that she was out of the cell. Her hand reached the bottom of the drawer and a d
ainty, smooth-sided box with a metal handle.

  She lifted it out and blinked in disbelief. In her hand hung an object even more familiar than the derringer in her pocket.

  The tortoiseshell writing case was most memorable for its push-button release mechanism that had hindered the majority of attempts to open it. Sometimes the most effective lock wasn’t a lock at all, but a fussy fastener that even after one learned its idiosyncrasies must be approached with care. Like the case’s owner, Orin.

  Had Masterson or one of Dodge’s other lawmen needed writing materials as well? Had they attempted to open the case, failed and deposited it in the desk to try again later? Only for it to be buried under a growing heap of paper and forgotten?

  A shiver crept up her spine. This desk held the ghosts of too many who’d departed Dodge, both dead and alive. She shook her head, casting out the somber memories, so she might focus her mind and her fingers on the fastener.

  When it opened, a folded slip of paper tumbled off the inkwells inside. Across its surface two words had been scrawled with a hurried but familiar flair: My friends.

  She groped for the chair behind her and collapsed on it. But her vision and hands, free of the illness that had previously plagued her, remained steady as she unfolded the paper and read.

  Gertie forces me to pen a vile tale. Unaware, for every lie on one letter, I scribble a truth here. Gertie means to kill me. She has my father’s watch, my mother’s box. Says she’ll hide them in her piano, think of me every time it’s played, and laugh. Cannot bear the thought.

  Find them. Steal them back.

  Orin, Sadie—my friends whom I cherish more than any possession—I’m betting on you. Don’t let Gertie win.

  Edward

  Her stomach did a slow roll. All this time, Edward’s beloved heirlooms had been in the Star—under her fingers, never far from her thoughts. How many times had she listened to someone playing that piano and wished it were Edward? Or reached for the piano’s sturdy frame while struggling to find the strength to honor her promise to him?

  She’d never once thought to look inside.

  A strength of purpose swelled inside her, making her heart beat strong and steady. Finally, she knew the location of Edward’s watch and jewelry box…and she had his letter. The letter he’d begged her to find when she found him dying. All this time, she’d thought he was referring to the suicide note he’d held.