Secret Puck (Campus Nights Book 1)

by Rebecca Jenshak

  Instead, the girls and I sat at the top of the student section blending in with the sea of blue and yellow. It was hard to watch them lose, but it fit my depressing mood nicely.

  My phone pings again, and this time I reach for it.

  Adam: Are you okay? Just let me know you’re at the dorm and that all is well and I’ll leave you alone.

  Me: Yes, I’m safe and sound in my dorm.

  He doesn’t respond right away, and I toss my phone back onto the bed. Holding it reminds me I haven’t talked to Heath. “Well, should we watch Notting Hill?”

  We’re just cueing up the movie when there’s noise outside of my window. My window faces a parking lot, so it isn’t unusual that it’s noisy, but this noise is… well, it’s different.

  “Do you hear that?” I ask.

  “Sounds like a bunch of drunk guys heading out to party. It’s too early to be so obnoxious, must be freshmen. No offense.” She stands and goes to look. “Uh, Ginny, I think you need to see this.”

  I scramble from the bed to look. There’s shrubbery along the edge of the building, so the aforementioned obnoxious guys aren’t directly under my window, but they’re as close as they can get.

  Adam and Rhett are on all fours on the ground and Maverick is on top of them on his hands and knees and then Heath stands on his back. They’ve built a freaking pyramid. Reagan and Dakota laugh. We open my window as far as it goes, which is only a couple of inches.

  Heath holds his cell phone over his head and sings along with the music.

  “What in the world is he doing?” Dakota asks.

  “Shh! He’s serenading her,” Reagan says.

  “Why Mariah Carey?” Dakota asks in a whisper.

  A few other residents have opened their windows and call out or sing along. People walking by in the parking lot are stopping. Some have their phones out videoing it, no doubt.

  Heath wears a shy expression, one I wasn’t sure he possessed, but he belts out the song confidently. When he’s through the chorus for a second time, he stops.

  Rhett calls, “Did she hear us? What’s going on? I can’t see shit down here.”

  “The whole dorm heard you, asshole,” someone calls.

  “What are you doing?” I ask through the crack. My heart hammers in my chest. Hope and excitement claw at the hurt and anger.

  “I didn’t think this all the way through. I don’t know what to do now,” he admits with a sheepish grin.

  “Tell her how you feel,” Mav urges. He looks up to me and lifts a hand to wave, which makes Heath wobble on his back.

  “Maybe you should get down first,” Adam prompts.

  Heath jumps down and the rest of the guys get up. Heath walks closer and stares up at me. “I miss you.”

  “You could have said that over the phone.”

  “I was afraid you wouldn’t answer.”

  “Trying to watch a movie in here!” someone else calls out a window not far from mine.

  Heath looks toward the voice. “Sorry, man. Almost done.”

  Mav pushes forward. “Go fucking watch it then. Guy’s trying to pour his heart out.” He nods to Heath as if to say, I’ve got you covered.

  Heath tilts his head to the side and speaks a little quieter. “Can we talk somewhere else, not through the window?”

  I hesitate and he adds, “Doesn’t have to be tonight. Tomorrow? Next week? Next month? You name it and I’ll be there.”

  Reagan whispers beside me, “Go down there.”

  My heart is beating so fast, but the rest of me is frozen in place. “I’ll call you, okay?”

  He nods, a look of resignation taking over his features and he takes a step back.

  “Come on, boys,” Adam says.

  Every one of them looks disappointed, but I can’t bring myself to run down there and throw myself into his arms. Of course, that’s what I want to do, but then what?

  They head toward the parking lot. Adam’s Jeep is parked in one of the fifteen-minute spots closest to my dorm.

  “Heath,” I yell out my window. They all turn with matching hopeful expressions. “I miss you too.”

  Last night, Reagan and Dakota stayed through the movie. They didn’t ask if I was going to call Heath or say anything really, and I’m glad because I didn’t know the answer. I still don’t.

  After they were gone, I laid in bed with my phone scrolling through our text history and then my pictures. He’s become such a big part of my life and I know that I can’t cut him out completely. At least for another semester, he’ll be living with my brother, but even if that weren’t the case, I’d see him on campus. A glimpse across the crowd or maybe we’d run into one another at a party.

  I’ve started a dozen different text messages, but I haven’t been brave enough to send any of them.

  I go to the game Saturday afternoon with Dakota and this time we sit in our usual seats. We’re in our blue and yellow, and I do my best to plaster on a happy face as the team takes the ice.

  Heath looks straight to my seat, and when he sees me, a hint of a smile pulls at his lips. Tonight’s game is as fast-paced as last night’s and we’re on our feet, hands clenched in nervous excitement for most of it.

  Vermont’s defense is big and mean and they seem to have it out for Heath in particular. He takes hit after brutal hit.

  I cringe when Maverick’s slammed into the boards. In front of me, Adam and a guy from Vermont collide and both go down, but not before Adam passes the puck to Heath. It’s like a wrestling match on skates, but Heath races to the net, past defenders, and finds the net. The horn blares and we go crazy with the rest of the crowd.

  The goal seems to shift things and Vermont is sloppier, not quite recovering their composure. Valley holds on to win by one.

  I decide to wait for Heath by the locker rooms. I have no idea what I’m going to say, but avoiding him forever isn’t an option.

  The guys are slow to come out and I’m pacing and wringing my hands when his dark head finally comes through the door. He pauses when he sees me and Maverick runs into the back of him. I start toward him and meet him halfway.

  “Hey,” he says tentatively.

  “Congratulations.”

  “Thanks.”

  We both shift awkwardly, and I step forward and hug him. He hugs me back but hisses through his teeth.

  “Oh, shit, sorry.” I step back as he winces. “You got tossed around like a rag doll out there tonight.”

  “Yeah, it got a little rough.”

  “Are you headed to The Hideout?”

  “That was the plan, unless…”

  “Yeah, you should go. It was a big victory.”

  “You’re not coming?” There’s obvious disappointment on his face.

  “Not tonight. Dakota and I are going to watch Reagan’s play. It’s opening night. But maybe we can talk tomorrow?”

  “Really?” He looks so excited about it, I can’t help but smile.

  “Yeah, really. We should talk. It isn’t like we can avoid each other forever.”

  “Wouldn’t want to even if I could.” I’m at a loss for words and he takes my hand. “Just give me a chance to explain.”

  I nod and take a step away, breaking our contact. “Tomorrow.”

  Seeing Reagan perform a second time is just as amazing as the first, and bonus that I get to watch as Dakota and the rest of the crowd react.

  “She’s so damn talented,” Dakota says when it’s over. She wipes an honest to goodness tear from her eye. “I don’t even like theater.”

  “Let’s go find her. She said she’d meet us out in the lobby.”

  I’m surprised to see my brother and Rhett as we crowd into the lobby with everyone else. Their tall and muscular frames make them easy to find, but getting to them takes a few minutes. When we do, I ask the obvious question, “What are you two doing here?”

  A quick scan of them, and I can tell they’re in their travel suits for away games.

  Adam hugs me. “She alw
ays comes to support us, so we thought we’d return the favor.”

  “That’s really nice of you. What’d you think?” I ask Rhett.

  “I don’t really like theater, but Reagan’s part was cool.”

  “Maybe you could leave out the first part when you see her,” I tell him as I spot her. “She’s over there. Come on.”

  40

  Heath

  After having a beer with some of the guys on the team at The Hideout, I head back to the apartment. My latest care package from Nathan and Chloe is waiting for me and I open it (definitely Chloe put this one together—it’s covered in gold tissue paper) and call my brother.

  “Thank Chloe for the package.” I lie down on my bed and stare up at the ceiling.

  “You can thank her yourself in three weeks. We’re flying up to watch you play the weekend before Christmas.”

  “For real?” I ask and sit up.

  “Yeah, Mom too. She didn’t tell you?”

  “Uh…”

  “You haven’t talked to her, have you?”

  “She’s my next call.” I pull the phone away from my ear and look at the time. “Or tomorrow, maybe, it’s kind of late there.”

  “She’ll be up. You know what a night owl she is. Call her.”

  “I will, I will,” I say begrudgingly.

  “I get it,” he says. “Trust me, I do. I did the same thing. I got to Valley and tried to live like the past hadn’t happened. I barely talked to you or Mom my first two years of college.”

  “I know, I remember.” I’d been sad at first and then pissed. Dad died, then Nathan left, Mom got worse, and before I knew it, everything had changed except me.

  “She’s trying. I know it doesn’t magically make up for everything, but you can’t be pissed at her forever if you really want to move on.”

  “I’m not pissed,” I say and then backtrack. “Okay, maybe a little pissed.”

  “If it helps, the more I talk to her now, the easier it gets and the less I find myself thinking about the past.”

  “Yeah, all right.”

  “Well, I’ve gotta get to bed. We’re flying to New York early tomorrow, but I’m really excited to see you in a few weeks. Also, Chloe started Christmas shopping two months ago, so be prepared—her level of excitement is intense.”

  “Can’t wait,” I say honestly. It’s been a long time since we’ve had a holiday together or really any time together.

  After we hang up, I call Mom, but she doesn’t answer, so I shoot her a text and then change into sweats.

  She returns my call as I fall back on my bed. “Hey, sorry I missed your call, my hands were covered in cookie dough. I’m doing some late-night baking.”

  “No problem. I’m about to head to bed.”

  “Have you talked to Nathan? Did he tell you we’re coming to Valley?” Her voice is upbeat, and I realize she’s excited, which makes me more excited.

  “Yeah, I just got off the phone with him. I can’t believe you guys are all coming.”

  “Visiting you at college and then your brother and Chloe coming home for Thanksgiving reminded me how much I miss my boys. I was so focused on myself and getting healthy that I’ve let us all go too long without getting together.”

  “You’re doing great, Mom.” She really is and it only takes her voicing her own regrets to make me feel like a giant douche for holding the past against her. I haven’t magically forgiven her, and I don’t know how long it’ll be until I do, but I know Nathan is right—I’ve gotta meet her where she is now if I want any type of relationship with her.

  The thing is I don’t avoid calling her because I don’t want her in my life. I’m just having a hard time figuring out what that looks like now while I try to let go of years of hurt I didn’t even realize I was harboring until she was well enough for me to take a breath.

  “I am,” she says confidently. “And so are you. I’m so proud of you.”

  I clear my throat. “Thanks, Mom.”

  “Three weeks! I can’t wait. I’m making a test batch of oatmeal raisin cookies now.”

  My stomach growls. “Those are my favorite.”

  “I know. I haven’t made them in years.”

  The more we make plans, the more excited I am, but also cautious. “I’m excited too, but if it doesn’t work out, then we’ll still all be together next summer. Assuming they go through with the wedding.”

  “Of course, they’ll go through with it. Your brother is head over heels for Chloe.”

  “Yeah, it’s not her I’m worried about screwing it up,” I joke. Honestly, I know my brother would gnaw off a limb before doing anything to sabotage his relationship with Chloe. And she’s awesome, so I get it. I’m happy for them.

  “Oh, hush. Your brother is doing great. I’m proud of both my boys. I’m really glad you called. The house is still lonely without you. Especially at night.”

  I yawn and she laughs in my ear. “Get some sleep, honey. I’ll call you this week.”

  “Okay, sounds great, Mom.”

  “I love you.”

  I try not to react to the word, but my muscles tighten, waiting for the thing that comes next… which used to be disappointment. It doesn’t come, but it’s too many years of hurt built up. I don’t know if there’ll ever be a day it doesn’t fill me with a sense of dread coming from her lips. Or a day I’ll be able to say it to her or Ginny or anyone else. “Thanks, Mom.”

  Sunday I’m practically glued to my phone waiting to hear from Ginny. I texted her as soon as I woke up, but by mid-afternoon, I’m starting to worry she’s blowing me off.

  “Give me your phone,” Maverick prompts and holds out his hand.

  “No way.”

  “Payne, give me the fucking phone before you do something stupid.”

  “Why can’t I text her again?”

  “Because it’s pathetic,” Rauthruss says.

  “That’s really something coming from you. You’re on your phone constantly with Carrie.”

  “Yeah, but she wants to talk to me.”

  Ouch, but okay, point made. I place my phone in Mav’s palm and not two seconds later, her name flashes on the screen. I swipe it back with a giant smile on my face.

  “And?” Mav asks.

  “She’s been at the theater all day. Apparently they asked her to do the makeup for Reagan and a few other girls at the show today.”

  “Oh, right.” Adam’s in the kitchen making food. “Yeah, I think I heard them talking about that last night. Reagan looked as hot as she always does, but I guess it was too subtle for the stage or the lights or, fuck, I don’t know.”

  “You’re just telling me this now?”

  “I didn’t think of it until now.”

  I take my phone into my bedroom and dial Ginny.

  “Hey,” she answers, sounding out of breath. “I’m just now heading back to my dorm. Sorry about that. I didn’t realize that I’d need to stay through the whole performance.”

  “Stage makeup, huh?”

  “Yeah, they even offered me a job for future performances.”

  “That’s great, Ginny. Congratulations.”

  “Thank you. So, today was kind of a bust. I need to shower and then head to the library. I have a group meeting for one of my classes. I’m not sure when it’ll be done. Can we talk tomorrow?”

  Tomorrow. Shit, that sounds so far away. “Breakfast?”

  “Yeah, I’ll meet you at our usual time.”

  “So,” Mav starts as we’re walking into the dining hall. “Which one did you decide to go with?”

  “What are you talking about?” I scan the room for Ginny.

  “Which big gesture is next? Rent out a theater? Dinner?”

  “I decided to go with something that’s more… me.”

  “You?”

  I slap Mav on the back. “Yeah, but it’s not because I didn’t enjoy your suggestions. You save those for when you find the perfect girl and screw it up.”

  “Good luck, buddy.�
�� He gets in line for food.

  I don’t see Ginny yet, so I head to the back where I find Brenda. She smiles when she spots me.

  “How’s my favorite lunch lady?”

  She snorts. Brenda is the no-nonsense lady who manages the dining hall. I won her over last year. It started with a lot of flattery. Much deserved flattery. She works hard to keep us fed and I appreciate that more than most people. Then I got to know her a little and found out she’s a huge hockey fan.

  “Sam and the kids good?”

  She softens at the mention of her husband and children. “Matty is graduating high school this year, and Sophia is all about boys, God help us all.”

  She hands me a tray and quirks a brow. “Coach Meyers approve of this?”

  “What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.” I wink. “Thanks, Brenda. I owe you.”

  “Mhmm. How about paying me back with another win next weekend?” she calls as I walk off.

  My steps are light as I head to my usual table. Ginny waits, looking around for me. When she spots me, a shy smile tips up the corners of her lips. Aaand, I’m suddenly really nervous.

  “Hey,” she says tentatively. She looks as anxious as I feel.

  I’d planned to say a lot of things, but fuck words. I drop the tray on the table, frame her face with both hands, and bring my lips to hers. She lets out a yelp of surprise, but then her body melts and she kisses me back. I’ve missed her so much. Not just this. Her.

  I don’t want to stop kissing her, but the sound of people bustling around us going about their usual morning routines makes me pull back. That and I know there are things she needs to hear.

  “I missed you so damn much, baby doll.”

  “Same.”

  “And I’m really sorry.”

  “I know you are.”

  I sit and guide her to take the seat beside me. “I want to explain, but I’m sure I’m going to say it all wrong.” I blow out a breath. The way she watches me, willing to hear me out even when I know I’ve hurt her, pushes me forward.