Immoral

by Nicole Dykes

  She doesn’t flinch, just walks closer. “You’re supposed to be fucking straight. How was I supposed to know you two would be playing a new little game in the middle of the afternoon?”

  I sit up, not pulling my shirt on. “Why are you here?”

  She puts a hand on her hip, raising her perfectly manicured eyebrow. “Why the hell did you have your best friend’s dick in your mouth?”

  I’m guessing she doesn’t want to hear “because I wanted him to come down my throat,” so I stay silent.

  Grady, on the other hand, must be feeling back to his normal self because he smirks at her and answers, “Because it’s a fantastic dick. Duh. And he really knows what he’s doing.”

  She rolls her eyes, and I fight a laugh. This is why he’s my best friend. She walks to a chair and slumps down, looking pretty damn defeated for her. “Your contract is already in danger, and now this. Are you trying to kill me? I’m thirty. Too young to have a fucking stroke.”

  “You can have a stroke at any age,” Grady offers, not helping.

  She glares at him, but I intercept, “What do you mean my contract is in danger? What now?”

  She leans forward. “You and Bennett are considered a package deal, but lately, he’s been floating the idea that he wants to move to the West Coast.”

  “He wouldn’t do that.” I turn my body so I’m facing her, on high alert now.

  “His wife’s family is there, and they’re starting their own family. She wants to be near them.”

  Grady looks concerned, but he doesn’t say anything. “He’s never said anything to me. He wouldn’t do that. He loves it here. He loves the fans. They stuck by us when we fucking sucked.”

  “I know.” She sighs, seemingly having lost all fight, which is just not good. “But I don’t think it’s a rumor, and it’s affecting the negotiations. It puts your contract at risk.”

  “They would be stupid not to keep Ry.” Grady’s voice is a low, defensive growl.

  “I agree.” Her eyes meet his. “But it doesn’t mean they won’t let him go without Bennett. Or pay him far less.”

  “Then I’ll walk.”

  She sighs. “You really want to walk away from here?”

  I don’t know. It’s where I started. It’s close to everything I know, but maybe they’d be more accepting of me out west. Who the fuck knows?

  “I don’t know.”

  She nods her head, already knowing my answer before I said it. She waves her arm in our direction, “And now this? You’re fucking Grady Bell? Seriously?”

  Again, Grady goes on the defense. “And what’s wrong with that? You already know he’s gay.”

  “I know he goes to clubs occasionally with a hat and sunglasses and selects a cute twink who’ll sign an NDA and who he’ll never see again. Fucking his best friend that the whole country has eyes on? Not great.”

  I bristle, hating that she’s right about this being far more dangerous. “We’ll be careful,” Grady insists.

  And he gets another famous Jenny eye roll. “It’s really only a matter of time before this comes out.” She throws her hands in the air as she stands. “I can’t believe I didn’t see this before. I’m getting soft.”

  Grady snorts, “This is you soft? Jesus.”

  She flips him off, and I stand up between them. “Stop. Both of you.” I aim my look at Jenny. “We’ll be careful.”

  “The meeting is coming up. Can you keep this a secret until then, at least?”

  “I’ve been doing it all this time.”

  She doesn’t look convinced but takes a deep breath. “I’ll be in touch.”

  She starts for the door, and Grady turns around, looking over the back of the couch. “Yeah, maybe you should start knocking. Unless you want to see a lot more of my dick.”

  “Not helping,” I say in his direction but can’t fight the smile on my face.

  He winks, and I shake my head, ushering Jenny outside and saying a quick goodbye before walking to the patio door and looking outside, grateful for the large yard and the fence that surrounds it. It gives me the illusion of privacy, at least.

  I feel Grady’s body crowding mine from behind. “It’s going to be okay.”

  “Is it?” I don’t turn around, back to being the one in his head. I can’t believe Bennett did that shit without at least talking to me first.

  But I give him the benefit of the doubt. Not like there isn’t a hell of a lot he doesn’t know about me.

  His mouth is on my neck now, leaving sweet kisses. “I bet I know what can make you feel better . . .”

  I roll my eyes. “Sex can’t fix everything.”

  “No, but it can’t hurt.”

  I laugh and turn to face him. “Your balls as blue as mine?”

  He groans and leans his forehead against mine. “Probably bluer. I mean, your mouth was sending me straight to heaven when Jen-nay had to burst in here and ruin it.”

  I laugh, “She fucking hates when you pronounce her name like that, but I think I can finish what I started.”

  He shakes his head, surprising me. “I was thinking of something different.” I quirk an eyebrow, and his mouth moves to my ear. “I was thinking you could fuck me.”

  My mouth is suddenly dry as I try my best to swallow. He pulls back and looks into my eyes. “I want that.”

  He grins and grabs my hand, leading me to my room.

  I guess he wants that too.

  Okay, don’t be nervous. It’s just a dick. A long, thick dick going into my ass, but still.

  “Breathe.” I look at Ry who has an amused smirk on his gorgeous, all-American face.

  “I am breathing.”

  His hand moves over my heart. We’re both naked and standing at the foot of the bed, staring at each other because I fucking froze. Even though this was my idea in the first place. “Jesus, your heart is racing.”

  Yeah. Yeah, it is. I let out a shaky breath and run my fingers through my hair. “Maybe I’m a little nervous.”

  He doesn’t mock me, just brings his mouth to my neck, kissing softly and dragging his lips up to my earlobe, nibbling ever so slightly. “We don’t have to do this. I’m fine with you doing all the fucking.”

  I don’t want that though. I want to know what it feels like to be completely owned by Ryan. To give him this part of me. “No. I want this.”

  I wish my voice portrayed even a little bit of confidence. Fuck. I’m not used to this. He studies me closely, pulling back to look at my face as his hands slide over my abs. “If you hate it, say stop. We don’t ever have to do it again.”

  And I know he means it. I know he won’t hold it against me either. Because that’s just Ry. “I want to give it a chance.” My hands move to his hips, pulling him to me. His cock is hard and pressing against me. My nerves have gotten to me, leaving me with only a semi.

  He nods in a calm, reassuring way. “Okay. Do you want me to use a condom?”

  “Fuck no.” My answer is instant, which makes him laugh. “Just you.” I kiss him softly. The kiss quickly moves into passionate and hungry desire, and we end up on the bed with his solidly muscular body on top of me.

  His mouth is magic as it trails over my jaw to my throat, licking at my Adam’s apple and making me groan in anticipation. For a while, he teases my nipples that are surprisingly sensitive, sucking, licking and biting until I’m a writhing desperate mess.

  “Fuck, Ry.”

  I feel him smile as he moves lower over my stomach and then urges me to bend my knees, leaving my feet flat on the bed and opening myself to him in the most intimate way I can imagine. My cock is up and ready to play again, especially when he tongues my balls and goes lower, lower, lower until he’s at my hole. He spends time there, getting me wet and ready for him, sending zings of pleasure throughout my body with each lash of his tongue.

  “Yes,” I gasp, my hands grasping his hair.

  “I can’t wait to be inside you, Grady.”

  “Only you, Ry.”

 
; He moans against me, sending more thrill through my thrumming body. When he grabs the lube and slicks his finger, he looks up at me as if waiting for approval. I give him a quick nod even though I feel the nerves returning.

  We’ve done this before. I’ve enjoyed it, especially when he finds the spongy spot inside me that brought me to the closest thing to what I’d consider the existence of God because, holy fuck, everything goes bright white.

  His mouth engulfs my cock, somehow nearly taking all of it in as he works one finger inside and then two, hitting said spot expertly and making me curse and mumble incoherent words. “You’re going to make me come.”

  He releases my dick and looks up at me with a wicked grin. “And that would be a bad thing?”

  I nod, barely getting the words out when he tongues the tip of my cock, teasing the fuck out of me. “When your cock isn’t inside me? Yeah.”

  He groans and withdraws his fingers, climbing up my body to meet my lips with his. We kiss for a while, our cocks rubbing against each other until I can’t take it anymore.

  “Fuck me, Ry.”

  His head rests against mine and even though he’s holding most of his weight off me, I feel his body everywhere. I feel him, heart, body, and soul, and I know I want him inside me.

  “Are you sure?”

  I nod my consent even if I can’t seem to get the words out. His lips meet mine again reverently as if he’s telling me it’ll be everything I need it to be, and I believe him.

  I reach for the lube, slicking up his cock before allowing him to take it and drizzle even more of it onto my hole, pushing some of it inside with his fingers. I close my eyes, letting it feel good.

  “I’m ready,” I manage to say as he drops the lube next to us and lines up his thick cock at my entrance. I feel myself tense as he presses ever so slightly.

  He shakes his head. “Don’t tense up. Relax. Breathe.”

  I try my best, but my breath comes out shaky. “Just do it. I’ll be fine.”

  He shakes his head again. “No. I’m not going to hurt you.”

  “I’m fine. Don’t be a pussy and fuck me already.” The false bravado doesn’t work on Ry though.

  Of course, it doesn’t. Instead, his hand reaches between us, finding my cock that’s starting to wilt with nerves. He strokes me, looking into my eyes before he kisses me, and I relax slightly into him.

  After a while, I feel him pressing inside me, past that first ring of muscle, and it slightly burns, the intrusion uncomfortable, but I don’t want him to stop.

  He doesn’t ask me, thank God. He must know instinctively I don’t want him to. I want to do this. I don’t back down from anything, and I’m not about to start now. He slowly inches into my body, kissing me and stroking my dick that’s starting to gain more and more interest. I take his advice and breathe through it.

  Once he’s fully seated inside me, he somehow manages not to move a muscle as he pulls his head back and meets my eyes. I can see the unadulterated pleasure on his face—enough to make me want to do this because goddamn, he’s beautiful. “God, Grady. You feel so fucking good.”

  “I think it would feel even better if you were moving.”

  He laughs lightly, his eyes closing, and I notice the veins in his neck pulled tight with tension. “I’m trying to give you time to adjust, you jackass.”

  I feel full and oddly satisfied that I did this. I managed to let him inside me. I’m the reason for that blissed-out expression on his face. “Move, Ry. I can take it. Fuck me.”

  A strangled groan leaves his lips as he leans back, grabbing my thighs and parting them more. Then he pulls back, his cock nearly leaving me and thrusts inside but not hard. Not like I’m sure he’s dying to do. No, he’s still gentle as he glides inside me, adjusting his angle. When his cock hits that magical spot deep inside me, my cock jumps back into action, leaking from the tip. I gasp, “Ry, there.”

  He smirks, like he knew exactly what he just did. And knowing this fucker, he does. He pegs that spot over and over, sending me to nirvana.

  I thought this first time would be about his pleasure and was totally fine with that. Hoping he would get off fast and then maybe the next time we tried, it would get better, but that’s just not Ryan Bailey’s style. No, this fucker has to go for the championship with everything he does.

  “Yes,” I gasp again, shocked at how hard my cock is and how close I am to losing it just from his dick being inside me.

  “Are you going to come for me, Grady?”

  “I want to.” I feel desperate and unsure of what I need, but Ry knows, he just knows. When his hand wraps around my cock, stroking it with a firm hand, I nearly lose it. “Oh fuck, tell me you’re close.”

  “Are you kidding? I nearly came the second I was inside you. You feel fucking perfect.” He’s a sight to be seen. Solid muscle and beauty, everything pulled tight with lust and pleasure-filled tension.

  “Come, Ry.”

  “You first.” He thrusts inside me at the perfect angle, simultaneously stroking my cock, his thumb playing with my tip. I don’t even get a chance to argue before I shoot hot cum all over my abs.

  “Fuck,” he chokes out as he thrusts only a couple of strokes before I feel his cock pulse inside me. “Fuck.”

  I can’t find words, but I silently agree with him.

  Holy fucking shit. How the hell have I been living without this all these years?

  When we finally regain some of our wits, we decide to take a shower to clean up. I don’t want to be too far away from him, feeling oddly vulnerable. And he seems to understand that too, turning on only one showerhead and keeping his large body against mine as we wash each other off.

  “I don’t want to leave,” I admit when his strong arms wrap around me from behind, and we both let the water pour over the top of us.

  “I don’t want you to leave either. But we’ll be okay. We’ll get through this.”

  I smile sadly as I lean against the tile shower and let his body cloak mine. “Bailey and Bell.”

  “Bell and Bailey,” he whispers against my ear. “Always.”

  I turn to face him, my heart thundering. “I want that, Ry. Forever.”

  “I want it too. Forever.”

  “Just me and you?”

  He nods. “It’s always been you for me.”

  My hand slides through his wet hair, my chest exploding with so much emotion I’d normally make a joke to avoid it, but not now. “You’ve always been it for me too. So, this is a thing? You and me? No one else?”

  “No one else. I only want you.”

  I kiss him softly. “I only want you too.” Because it needed to be said. Even if no one else was on my radar. I can’t imagine being with anyone else after knowing his touch, and I want him to hear it out loud from me. “Exclusive couple then?”

  He doesn’t tease me about being an emotional mess or needing a definition, which is usually his thing. His forehead rests against mine, and his voice is firm and confident. “For the rest of my life, that’s all I want.”

  And even though I’m leaving for a six-month tour and then his schedule is going to get insane, I’ve never felt more safe and secure in my life.

  Because I know Ryan is mine.

  “Fuck, I’m going to miss you.” I hold Grady’s body to mine in the foyer of my house because we can’t say goodbye in an airport. No. I have to say it behind a closed door.

  The bitterness in my gut turns but I try to stay strong for him. “I’m going to miss you too, Grady, but we can get through this.”

  “When is the big meeting?”

  “Two days.” Jenny sent me a text this morning, reminding me to be good.

  There’s been no drama since the day she busted us, and we’ve spent the entire time in our perfect bubble. Fucking and talking. Enjoying every single second of each other. But it wasn’t enough. Not nearly enough.

  This is all I fucking want.

  Would I miss baseball if I couldn’t play anymore? Sure.
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  But this? Letting the man I love go? Yeah, this might fucking kill me.

  He looks nervous as he brushes a kiss over my lips and whispers, “I love you.”

  My heart aches, clenching tightly in my chest because I know he means it. He’s in love with me just as much as I’m in love with him, and we can’t tell the world because it’s full of too much hatred to accept our love.

  “I love you too. God, I love you.”

  He kisses me hard, his hands on the sides of my face. “I’ll call you every day.”

  I nod in agreement. “You fucking better.”

  He smiles. “The contract will go fine. They’d be fucking idiots not to keep you.”

  But do I even want that?

  I stay tight-lipped and nod, but he doesn’t let it pass. Pulling back so he can look into my eyes and holding onto my face with his big hands, he says, “You were made to play ball. You’re too fucking good at it to let anything else get in the way.”

  “You’re not just anything, Grady. You’re everything.”

  He smiles, and I can see my admission makes him happy. “You don’t have to worry about me. I’m not going anywhere, no matter what. We tell everyone tomorrow . . . I’m fine with that. We keep it our secret until your knees are all creaky, and you can’t be on the catcher’s mound anymore, and I’m a sweating gasping mess every time I’m on stage because I can’t keep up . . . I’m fine with that too.”

  “That’s a sexy picture you paint.”

  He chuckles, “I fucking love you. And don’t worry about any of this shit. You and me, we’re solid.”

  “Yeah, we are.”

  “Get the best fucking contract you possibly can. Everything else will fall right into place. You’ll see.”

  Same ole Grady. I kiss him hard and then grab his hand “Let’s get your ass to the airport.”

  It’s a quiet, solemn ride to the airport, and when it’s time for him to leave, we have to settle for a quick bro-hug because there are cameras watching.

  It fucking sucks and doesn’t sit right with me, but he leaves with the promise of so much more in the future.

  And for now, that has to be okay.

  That is, until later that day when I get a call from Jenny telling me the contract negotiations have been pushed back for another fucking two weeks.