by K E Osborn
Sensei looks to Torque, who shrugs, while he gives the signal to open the gate.
Tension rolls over me. Why the hell would Crest show up here with some random bitch? Last time I saw him was over two years ago. It was also the last time I saw her.
Slowly the gate opens as a rundown car comes into view. I don’t miss the luggage crowding the backseat as Crest steps off his ride and the woman slides out of the car. It takes me a second before it registers, but when it does all the air is knocked from me. I gasp, letting out a kind of gurgled moan as I stumble slightly on the spot. Gripping onto Sensei’s shoulder, I try to stabilize myself. She’s just as beautiful as I remember. Her cheeks a little rounder, her hips slightly curvier, her figure a little fuller, but she was far too skinny the last time I saw her. She looks somehow sexier now. Her curves go on for days, and while some men might find her a bit bigger than the girls we’re used to here, I think she looks fucking amazing. Her cute button nose is still sporting a few tiny freckles, but her eyes haven’t changed. Her emerald green eyes stand out against her pale face. My heart pounds harder just looking at the scared look in those fucking gorgeous eyes—those eyes that always make my heart pound that little bit fucking quicker. The thing about Mylee is, she doesn’t need makeup to look stunning. She’s flawless just as she is. A natural beauty as she stands here in front of me, looking even more perfect than the last time I saw her, with her blonde wavy hair which is longer and falls around her face so perfectly that she’s practically glowing.
She looks—healthy.
Happy.
She looks fucking fantastic.
Mylee weakly smiles then takes a deep, steadying breath as she looks directly in my eyes, which immediately sends a shockwave of electricity right through my very fucking foundation.
She subtly waves. “Hey, Trax.” Her voice is exactly as I remember—smooth and alluring like thick honey. My entire body sags like a fucking puppy hearing its owner after being apart for a long time.
My pulse is racing as I look at the woman who broke me. The woman who stole my heart then shattered it, swept it up and took off with pieces of it. I want to run to her, and everything in me is telling me to do just that, but my brain is unsure of how to play this out. I’ve missed her for two, long, damn years, but right now I’m fucking angry also. She broke a part of me which I have no idea if it can ever be fixed. A myriad of emotions is running through me.
It feels like we’ve been standing in this position for a lifetime when in reality it’s only been a matter of moments. I take a small step forward screwing up my face as I let out a long huff. “Mylee?” I ask just to make sure I’m not seeing a fucking ghost.
Her lips slowly turn up as she hesitantly steps forward.
I tense up but don’t step back, feeling all my brothers’ eyes on me.
“I… I know it’s been a while—”
“A while? Mylee, it’s been two fucking years!” I can’t help the venom pouring from my mouth while I glare at her.
She looks to the ground, her hands knotting together—she appears more like the innocent and nervous Mylee I’m used to—then she swallows hard.
Torque places his hand on my back trying to calm me down.
It doesn’t help.
“Trax, I know you’re shocked to see us here, but it’s for a reason,” Crest announces, his voice deep, gravelly, and gruff.
I look to the man who I once thought would be my father-in-law, but I can’t find any words.
Torque pats my back again tilting his head. “Okay. Mylee, Crest… how about you come inside.” He gestures to the clubhouse. “Standing at the gate will only draw attention to us.”
Mylee looks up at me while my chest heaves in anger? Frustration? Hope? I have no idea what the fuck I’m feeling right now.
Shaking my head, my nostrils flare as I groan loudly. “No! She had a choice to stay here. She chose not to. You can’t come back two years later because it suits you. We don’t want you here,” I spit out only marginally believing my own words as her eyes flood with tears.
She looks to Torque, he glares directly at me, then steps forward blocking my view of her.
“I’m the President, Mylee, I have final say. You’re here for a reason. Are you here for Trax?” Torque asks bluntly what I was too chicken shit to question myself.
My chest tightens as I look away not wanting to know the answer.
She clears her throat like she’s hesitant. “N-Not exactly.”
Clenching my eyes tightly, my stomach sinks. Even though I’m being a dick to her right now, I guess some part of me was hoping she’d made a huge mistake. That she was here for me. That she wanted me back.
“She’s here because of me, Torque,” Crest announces, so I look over to him. “Remember that favor your club owes me? Well, here she is,” he announces without batting an eyelid.
Torque clears his throat. “You in some kind of trouble, Crest?”
“I need protection on Mylee. We’ve got some asshole after her. He’s a big deal. Has pull in high places, and right now we have shit going down at the club. We can’t have anyone putting a spotlight on us. As much as I need to have Mylee protected by my club, my brothers, right now it’s going to take resources I need for other shit. I need someone to watch over her, someone who I know will protect her… like family.” Crest looks my way as if his words are directed at me.
It hits me right in the guts like a sucker punch.
He brought her here so I could watch over her.
Because of my attachment to her?
Fucker’s using me.
Rubbing the back of my neck, I realize she didn’t come here to see me at all. She never would have if Crest didn’t demand it of her. Knowing I probably never meant shit to Mylee is eating me up. I can’t stand here any longer aware of the fact that this woman in front of me could do me so much harm, and she doesn’t even fucking know it. She has the power to bring me to my knees, yet she stands there like she isn’t even affected by me.
“This is fucking bullshit,” I call out as I turn on my heels, storming back toward the clubrooms. My anger’s swarming through me at such a rate of knots I’m not sure if I can control it.
“Trax,” Mylee calls out, but I can’t be around her right now. I can’t listen to what she has to say because I’m going to be sharing my clubhouse with her for God only knows how long. I honestly don’t know if I’m going to be able to stand the heat that will surely burn me alive while being around this devil in disguise.
CHAPTER TW0
TRAX
My muscles are so tense I don’t know whether I need a stiff drink, to stab someone, or to fuck a woman senseless. But knowing Cindi is waiting for me in my room, I think I’ll go for the latter. The thought I’ve just walked off leaving Mylee behind with my brothers to straighten her shit out, eats at me. She had her chance, and she threw it in my face.
I’m not a punching bag.
I can’t fall at her feet every time she needs me.
I’m not that guy.
My feet pound heavy and hard as I storm down the hall toward my room. Brothers look to me as if they’re unsure of what the hell is going on outside. They’re hesitant as to why I’ve come in and the others haven’t, but I don’t care right now. All I care about is getting to my room, and shoving my cock so far inside Cindi she’ll be screaming for hours.
My door flies open and smashes against the wall as I enter my bedroom. Cindi’s on my bed waiting for me like I knew she would be. Her long brown locks flowing over her exposed breasts as she sits up on my bed in only a pair of barely-there panties.
She looks me up and down, her mouth twitches fighting back a smile. Her dark shadowed eyes giving her a sultry look as her pouted glossy lips make her seem tempting. “Looks like you’re all worked up and ready to go. Got some energy you need to expel there, Trax?” she asks circling a piece of her brunette hair around her pointer finger in a way which would usually make my cock hard. Pictures of Mylee i
n this very room flood through my mind, so I slam my door shut with a harsh thud. My breathing is fast as I try to rid the images of Mylee and me naked in my bed, but they keep coming like a slide show.
Uninterrupted.
Persistent.
Relentless.
“Trax, honey, you okay?” Cindi’s voice breaks me from my thoughts. I walk over to her determined not to let Mylee get into my brain.
“Yeah. Don’t talk,” I demand as she rolls over on the bed knowing exactly what I need. Her plump ass lifts up in the air, her black lace thong showing me her perfect cheeks ready for me to punish as I see fit. I step up to her clenching my fingers in and out ready to make her pretty tanned ass a nice shade of pink when suddenly I hear gentle rapping on the door which makes both our heads swing around.
“Trax,” Mylee’s silky voice whispers through the door.
My chest tightens as I clench my eyes shut. My cock automatically pulsing at the thought of her being in this room, in this bed, instead of Cindi.
Fucking traitor.
“Shit!” I murmur as I take a deep breath, opening my eyes to see Cindi chewing on her bottom lip, assessing me.
“Trax, are you in there?” Mylee calls out.
My hand moves from rearing back ready to slap Cindi’s ass, to rubbing my temple trying to ease out the tension as I step back taking a breath.
Cindi sits up on the bed pursing her lips. “Trax, it’s okay. We can finish this another time,” Cindi says, the kindness in her voice I don’t deserve.
“Fuck her!” I blurt out.
Cindi stands, placing her hand on my chest in an attempt to soothe me. “Trax, I’ve known you a long time. Whoever the girl is on the other side of that door…” she rubs her hand up and down my chest, “… you want her more than you want me. Trust me. You can try to deny it all you want, but it’s written all over your face and in your body language.” Cindi leans up gently placing a chaste kiss on my cheek.
I let out a stifled laugh. “Since when are you so up on body language?”
She waggles her brows. “Acting classes,” she replies with a shrug then turns grabbing her clothes, holding them to her bare chest as she reaches for the door handle. She pulls the door open to Mylee, who opens her eyes wide when she sees Cindi practically naked. Mylee gasps trying to look anywhere but at her.
Cindi walks past Mylee with a chuckle. “He’s all yours gorgeous, but go easy on him. He’s a little rattled,” Cindi mentions casually.
Mylee looks up to me with—if I’m not mistaken—a look of hurt flashing in her eyes.
Well, fuck her! I have nothing to be sorry for. And even if I did, nothing happened with Cindi, so she can stop with the fucking sad puppy eyes. “Don’t look at me like that,” I snap at her.
She sniffs, swallowing hard as she straightens her shoulders. “You’re right. I have no reason to expect anything of you. What you do here is of your own free will.”
I scoff out a laugh. “Exactly…” I pause for effect then continue, “Is there something you wanted, Mylee? Or did you just come here to screw up my fucking life again?”
Her face contorts like she’s hurt by my words, but she steps inside my room closing the door behind her, making my world feel a whole lot smaller. Suddenly, it’s just her and me, back where it all began. Everything rushes through my mind, and I have to turn away from her to try to gather my balls to shove them back in place.
“I know I hurt you when I left—”
I scoff interrupting. “I was fine. I am fine.”
She sniffs. “Good… I’m glad. But Trax…” she lets out a heavy breath which makes me turn to look at her, her eyes are glassy and her bottom lip trembles, “… I wasn’t fine.”
I have to look away from her to try and hold myself together. “I could have helped you. Fuck! I wanted to help you.” I turn to look at her, her eyes flood with tears then overflow, running down her round pink cheeks. It’s enough to make me walk forward taking her hands in mine. The spark that always ignites when I touch her flicks through my fingertips. It feels like my heart restarts when I look into her glistening eyes. “I would have done fucking anything for you, Mylee. Any. Fucking. Thing.”
“I know!” she yells through a sob. “I know,” she murmurs again in a more hushed tone. “That’s why I had to leave. I couldn’t condemn you to this life—”
“It wasn’t your choice to make, Mylee,” I blurt out interrupting throwing my hands in the air as I spin around letting out a loud huff.
She sobs shaking her head. “Trax, you have to understand…” she blinks a few times, “… at that time my head was all over the place. I didn’t know what to think. What to do. You have to know that.”
I turn back to face her clenching my jaw. “And now?”
She sniffs, wiping the tears from her face. “Now? I’m better now.”
Raising my brow, I scoff. “So, what? You’re fixed?” I snap my fingers together. “Just like that?”
She rolls her eyes, glaring at me. “You know it’s not that simple. This isn’t something I can fix, Trax. This isn’t something anyone can fix. It’s not like you have a magic treatment, and you get better. It’s for life.”
Gritting my teeth, I huff. “I know that, Mylee. I did my research when you were diagnosed. But then you fucking left me.”
She looks to the floor her hands meeting together, her thumbs playing against each other nervously. I take a breath knowing this isn’t healthy for her. So, I try to tone it down a notch. “It’s just… you look, good… healthy. Different from how you looked last time I saw you.”
A faint curve forms on her lips as she takes a step closer, grabbing my hands making a spark shoot into the dark depths of my fucking soul again.
Fuck her, and her damn magic spark!
“I was ill, for a long time after I left you. Leaving you was the hardest decision I’ve ever made, Trax. But being diagnosed with bipolar disorder after seeing what my mother went through, it scared me. I know you would’ve helped me. I know you would have stuck by me no matter what, but I didn’t want you to have to go through what my father and I had to go through with my mother. This life…” she shakes her head, “… I don’t want this for you.”
I flare my nostrils, our bodies only a fraction apart. Her sweet smelling perfume invades my senses. It’s like an intoxicating reminder of how much I love this woman, even after two years separated, even after she broke my damn heart. Except anger seeps into my pores, and even though the reminder of love is ever present, my anger is winning out, raging through me making it hard to focus on anything but.
“It shouldn’t have been your call to make, Mylee. For fuck’s sake, I was in… I was all in. I didn’t care if you were ill. I loved you. I saw you at your lows, I saw your highs. I fucking saw it all, and I still fucking loved you… but you just pushed me aside when it came down to it.” I sigh. “You killed a piece of me that day, Mylee.”
She lets out a small sob, her hand moving to her mouth as she stares at me. “I can’t apologize enough, Trax. But you have to understand—”
“No! If you try and talk to me now, I’m gonna hurt you with words if you come at me. I’ll be an asshole, and you’re gonna end up hating me. So, it’s better if you just walk the hell away.”
She pulls back from me entirely, looking down at her thumbs knotting together. Her head bobs once in acknowledgment, and a single tear slides down her rosy cheek. “Shit, of course. You’re still angry, I get that. I’m sorry I left you the way I did. You have to know I wasn’t in the right frame of mind.”
I let out a half-laugh half-scoff. “Of course, I know that, Mylee! I was right there. In the thick of it. With you. Dammit! I wanted to help you, remember? But you wouldn’t let me. You didn’t have enough faith in me. You didn’t fucking trust me.”
She reaches out, her eyes pleading with me as she sniffs dramatically. “No. Trax, no! That’s not it at all. I trusted you. I trusted you with my life. I still do. I just didn’t wa
nt you dragged into my hellhole of a life.”
I scoff. “I would’ve never been in hell with you, Mylee, but you threw me into its depths the minute you walked out on me. You should have known that. You should’ve known what it would do to me.”
She sniffs again, looking back to her hands. “I’m sorry I hurt you. Just know I never stopped thinking about you. I had to get my head on straight… for me. Get my mind functioning properly… without any interference.”
“And is it?” I ask.
She glances back up as another tear flows down her cheek. “Everything seems crystal clear to me right now, Trax.”
The words hit me right in the chest like a motherfucking sledgehammer. Gritting my teeth, I don’t know how much more of this I can take.
Mylee coming back into my life right now could be so fucking good.
But I’m damaged.
I’m broken.
Mainly due to her, and because of it, I’m not even half the man I was. The man I’ve become doesn’t deserve her anymore. Things have changed for me and not for the better. I don’t know if having her by my side would do her more harm than good. She needs a stable man not someone with a volatile temper and a bad fucking attitude.
Her eyes flood with tears as she takes it all in. Mylee wipes her face as she tries to step forward toward me, but I step back shaking my head. “Trax—”
“You need to leave my room.” My voice is gruff, void of emotion as I keep my eyes focused on her.
Her face falls as if she’s horrified like she certainly wasn’t expecting me to say that.
“Trax? Really? You’re just going to throw me out before we’re finished talking this through?”
Turning my back to her, I head for my door, opening it. “We’re done talking, Mylee. There’s nothing left to say.”
I hear her breath catch in her throat as the unmistakable sound of her moving toward the door rattles me, but I stand fast, holding it open as I glance out to the hallway. Luckily no one is there to watch this mess unfold.