by K E Osborn
He winces. “I’m sure they’ll miss you.”
Pursing my lips, I sigh. “Yeah, I miss them already, but the club can’t have the Scott’s digging around right now. You know how it is. If Everett and his senator father, Malcolm, come looking for me, the club can’t come under fire. They don’t need any kind of heat on them right now. Especially from the government. Dad has way too many important deals going through.”
“I get it. Senators can be assholes. Having a mentally unstable son doesn’t help his aspirations... I’m sorry I didn’t fight more to come and see you when you were in the hospital. I should have pushed harder… past your father.”
I snort out a laugh. “No, you shouldn’t. Risking a war with Dad wasn’t worth it, Trax. You did the exact right thing. I needed the time to get my head right because I certainly wasn’t thinking clearly at the time.”
Bringing his swing to a stop with a heavy sigh, he stands abruptly like he’s having trouble being here with me. So I stand as well. The mood in the air changes dramatically. Tension fills the atmosphere, and my brows scrunch as I reach out grabbing his arm. He turns back to look at me, his eyes are distant. He looks hurt. Lost. I’m not sure what to do, so I do the only thing I can think of, I inch closer to him running my hands up his chest. His chest’s heaving as he looks into my eyes, both our breaths coming in short and shallow. His hands come up quickly gripping hold of my wrists on his chest halting my movement upward.
Now we’re locked together in an embrace, staring at each other, breathing heavily, neither of us saying anything as electric tension fills the air around us. It’s like energy pulsing through my atoms, filling everything in an intense surge, pulsing, vibrating through every element within me and around us.
I stare at him, his eyes never leave mine. It’s like I’m seeing him for the first time or for the thousandth. I have no idea, but right now, everything’s changing. The idea of us just being friends sounds ridiculous as we stare at each other, breathless.
I inch closer needing to touch him, to feel his lips on mine, just wanting to remember what he tastes like. I know he wants this too. His tongue darts out subtly licking his bottom lip as his chest heaves, and I inch up on my toes leaning in. Tilting my head, my lips press closer to his, only a hair’s breadth away from his. His breath wisps against my lips making them tingle. A shudder runs down my spine at the thought of us actually kissing again after so long apart. The excitement inside of me is at a toxic level as I inch closer. My lips graze his, the prickle of his beard teases my skin. I close my eyes ready to lean in fully, to feel him completely.
His hands tighten around my wrists on his chest, and he pulls back dramatically putting some distance between us, effectively breaking the kiss before it even had a chance to begin, before I had a chance to truly connect with him.
CHAPTER SEVEN
MYLEE
My heart plummets while my eyes shoot wide open as he steps back dropping my hands from his. His drooping eyes tell me he’s conflicted, but I break eye contact with him as I look to the ground feeling rejected. He doesn’t want me. I made myself available, I told him my truths, and he’s clearly pulled away. My breathing is fast as I try to control my rapid cycling emotions. I need to not let the storm swell right now. I know he’s turning me down, but this doesn’t need to send me over the edge.
I’m a big girl, I can handle him not wanting me.
Right?
“Mylee…” he murmurs.
I risk glancing up at him as I sniff. His eyes look pained. I don’t know if that makes it hurt even more—the fact he looks so cut up about this too.
“It’s fine, we’re friends, yeah?” I try to break the clear tension between us.
His eyes clench like he’s in pain. “We shouldn’t—”
“Trax, we have chemistry, we always did. But it’s fine. I know you don’t want anything from me, so I’ll try to reign myself in. I just…” I clear my throat, a lump getting caught as I try to think of what I’m trying to say. “I miss us.”
His eyes open, they look forlorn, his face falling as he takes another step away from me putting even more distance between us.
Another nail in the coffin.
Another hit to my fractured heart.
I will myself not to cry in front of him as I wrap my arms around myself for comfort. I look back toward the clubhouse feeling like I need the support of the people in there more than the man I used to seek comfort from in front of me right now. I have no idea how this is going to work. Our attraction to each other is there, but he wants to fight it, and right now I’m going to let him. So, I turn, swallowing the lump in my throat, and start to walk toward the clubrooms.
“Mylee,” he calls out, but I don’t turn back to look at him. I can’t, it hurts. I want to be with him, he’s fighting it at every angle, but I get it. I left him when shit got hard, that hurt him. I know this isn’t his way of payback, that’s not his style, but I can’t help but feel this is my penalty for leaving him. I have to suffer for the sins of my past. While I can’t say this is entirely fair, and I don’t like it, but I understand.
“It’s fine, Trax,” I blurt out. I’m hurting. I hate we have to be like this. Especially when I can tell he’s fighting against everything in himself to be this way.
My heart’s pummeling in my chest, and I feel like there’s so much left unsaid. So much that needs to be straightened out right now, but just as I’m freely walking away, he’s letting me go. So I guess that’s all there is, right? I don’t know how long I’m going to be here for, but Trax and I need to find some kind of balance. And nearly kissing can’t be our thing. Right now, I need to find someone to take my mind off the love of my life, and the ever-present storm threatening to invade my senses.
But I won’t let those fucking thunder clouds invade my mind.
Not today.
I’ve worked too damn hard to get to where I am, and just because I have an illness, it doesn’t define me. It doesn’t manipulate me in every emotional situation. I can push through this little problem and still see a clear sky at the end of the day.
I am strong.
I’m okay.
I am okay!
Taking a deep breath, I walk inside the clubhouse and finally away from the deep glare of Trax’s eyes on my back as I traipse the hall looking for someone to take my mind off things. Walking into the open expanse of the main room, I see Neala sitting at the bar. I think she’s the girl I need right now. Quickly stepping over to her, I slide on the stool beside her. She glances up. There’s something about the way her face lights up when she smiles, it’s like all your cares wash away, and she makes you feel that little bit more human again.
“Mylee, hey girl! You coming to play with me?”
I let out a half-snort, half-laugh sort of thing. “Not sure about play, but I’ll sit with you and chat? How about that?”
She chuckles, slapping the bar signaling to Cindi to pour us some drinks. “Whatcha drinking?”
“I’m not a drinker these days, so I might have a soda or juice or anything really?”
Neala snorts again with a shrug. “Suit yourself, I’ll have a double,” she calls as Cindi rolls her eyes pouring Neala a double whiskey. All thoughts of Trax seem to vanish as I look her over noticing she might have actually been here drinking for a while, but it’s practically the middle of the day. Something about her is off. Maybe she needs me more than I need her right now.
So I take a breath turning to look at her. “Lala, what’s happening with you?”
She screws up her face as she lets out a loud huff, throwing her arm onto the bar followed by her forehead dramatically dropping onto her arm. I look around the clubroom wondering what I should do, but no one else is really paying attention, so I simply rub her back as Cindi hands me a glass of orange juice. I raise my chin in thanks as Cindi walks off leaving me with Lala.
“It’s such a mess,” her muffled voice murmurs from under her fanned-out hair surrounding her fac
e. I try to hold back my laugh as I look at her. She really does look a right mess. She’s certainly taking my mind off my own personal dramas.
“Oh, Lala, talk to me. What’s going on?”
She bursts up, sitting up so dramatically she sways on the seat as she steadies herself. Not from being drunk just from the quickness of the movement. “So, listen… he said he doesn’t want to play games anymore.”
“Well, games are never good—”
“But I haven’t been playing games with him, Mylee. He knows where I stand, but he’s the one making all these damned rules all the time. The club comes first. Your brothers will kill me if something happened with us. Blah fucking blah, I’m a pussy, chicken shit, little man… asshole,” she murmurs the last word. I raise my brow as I scratch my forehead wondering how I can help her as I have no idea what the hell she’s even talking about.
“So who are you talking about here?” I ask wanting to make sure I’m on the same page as her.
“Tremor, of course. God, keep up, Mylee. I think having the pres and vice pres as your brothers can really be a buzzkill, you know? I mean, sure people think it makes you the princess of the club, but when it comes to getting laid, all bets are off!”
Pulling my lips in to try to hide my smile, I glance around the room making sure no one can hear her. If Torque or Trax heard her speaking like this, she’d be in deep shit. But I have to admit, it’s pretty amusing. Whatever Tremor’s doing to her, he needs to fix his shit because it’s obviously hurting her. Sounds to me like he’s keeping her on the back burner. Sounds familiar if you ask me.
Sighing, I reach out grabbing her hands looking into her eyes. She looks back at me as I try to calm her down. “Lala, these men… these bikers… fuck! They have a mind of their own. Especially when it comes to the club. You have to know it will always come first. You should know that after growing up here, right?”
She slumps her body, her eyes drooping. Her head bows looking deflated. “I do know. But brothers can be happy. I’ve seen it. Men have old ladies all the time. Why does me being a biker princess have to change anything?”
I sigh. “It just does. You’re royalty to these guys, Lala, just like I am to the Knights. We’re daughters of honored members. That means something to these guys, and when brothers start showing an interest in us, it starts a whole new world of drama. You have to think about Tremor in this, Lala. He obviously cares about you, or he never would have acted in the first place. He’s got to be so torn… the woman he adores or the club he lives for. This is just as tough for him, too. Don’t forget that.”
She sniffs as Ace strolls past casually making Neala’s expression change as she sits taller. “Ace!” she suddenly calls out making him stop to turn and look at us.
A curious smirk lights his face as he steps up, his broad shoulders filling up the space as he raises his brow in curiosity.
“So, ah… you were out with Tremor on a ride today, right?” Lala asks.
“Yeees?” he drawls like he’s sussing her out.
“So, umm… how did he seem to you? Was he sad, or mopey, or did he seem like he needed cheering up?”
Ace chuckles glancing at me. I jolt my head with wide eyes trying to gesture for him to give her something to work with. Some little hint to make her feel better. He seems to click, standing taller as his face falls. “Actually, now that you mention it, I think he could use a pep talk. He seemed off. He kept talking about you all day, wouldn’t shut up about you basically. Was kind of annoying.”
Neala’s eyes light up as she glances at me like this is the best news in the world.
I beam at her and lean forward. “See, there you go.”
She gnaws on her bottom lip like she’s debating what the hell to do.
“Why don’t you two just figure it all out? Go. I can keep Mylee company,” Ace adds, and I raise my brow in surprise.
Lala looks to me like she’s worried about leaving me, but she’s also one foot out the door as it were. I came in here looking to talk to her about my problems with her brother, but hers far outweigh mine. Seeing her eyes light up at the thought of talking to Tremor right now is all the convincing I need. “Hey, go. You need to talk to Tremor way more than I need you right now. Plus, I can hang out with Ace and his man bun.”
Ace and Neala both burst out laughing.
Lala stands from her seat leaning over giving me a tight hug. “Thank you for listening and dealing with me. I know when you came in, something was happening with you… I kind of stole the limelight. I’m sorry we didn’t get a chance to talk about you.” She grimaces, but I wave my hand through the air. “Stop! You made me forget all about it. Go talk through your problems with that prospect of yours.”
She bounces on her toes, spinning, and she rushes off. I turn back to Ace who’s watching my every move. He spins to face me then leans in bumping his shoulder into mine playfully. “So, coming back to our club must’ve been hard.”
I snort as we both look out into the near-empty clubroom. “Yeah, it is. Trax’s so complicated I don’t even know where to begin, but you, you’re their tech guy, right?”
Tilting his head, a slight smile touches his lips. “Tech guy, nerd, it’s all relative.”
“Well, I have a soft spot for nerds… just saying.”
He chuckles with a shrug. “I’m glad. But I’m not your typical nerd. I’m more a badass hacker who can kick ass and spin tires like no other.”
I can’t hold in my laughter as I look at him. He’s really quite the looker with his chiseled jaw, a five o’clock shadow, his medium build, and you can tell he works out from the definition in his biceps. Then his hair. I’m not usually a fan of long hair on men, but Ace’s brown with flecks of gold hair is actually almost pretty. It’s certainly not tatty or unkempt. For a man bun, it’s just the right size too as it’s pulled up high on his head. I can only imagine women would love to run their fingers through his silky locks when it’s down. He is, by all accounts, a really good-looking man, and in another life maybe I would have found myself fawning over him. But my heart firmly belongs to another, and as much as I would love to think about moving on with someone else, Trax is never far from my mind.
Shaking my head, I roll my eyes. “Yeah, you’re all brute and brawn with a head of hair like that.”
He shakes his head from side to side like some scene from Baywatch making me burst out laughing. “Don’t bag the bangs,” he mocks continuing his hair flick even though his hair is tied up. He looks so effeminate right now I can hardly contain myself with fits of laughter as his pearly whites shine through a gorgeous smile. I can’t help a wide smile crossing my face in return. “It’s good to see you smiling. It lights up your entire face. Don’t let Trax dampen your time here,” he mentions out of the blue. I stop my fits of giggles, look at him while clearing my throat as I sit up straight all humor leaving me.
“He’s having a tough time with me being here, I think.” I take the conversation back to seriousness.
Ace grunts while rolling his eyes. “Trax is a big boy, he will deal. You need to make sure you’re protected while you’re here. That’s the main issue, Mylee. With Trax having a crisis of conscience right now, you need all of us to step up to protect you, too.”
I tilt my head. “What do you mean?”
“Trax is so focused on trying to be your friend, he’s fighting hard to stay away from you. He’s going to be concentrating on that rather than on keeping you safe. It’s not his fault, he’s got blinders on right now. But it’s okay, that’s why I’m here.”
I raise my brow with a sigh. “Okay, I see your point. Trax is distracted. We have no idea if Everett is going to make a move on me, so where does it leave the situation?”
That beaming smile’s back on his face. “With me.”
I raise my brow, the idea only just now clicking in my brain. “You could do some digging for me? ‘Cause you’re the nerd guy, right?”
He laughs. “Yeah, exactly. So who is t
his Everett guy you want me to look into? Trax and Crest told me some basics but didn’t really give me anything to go on. They were in a rush.”
I tense. “Everett Scott and his father, Malcolm.”
Ace looks at me sternly. “Malcolm Scott as in Senator Malcolm Scott?”
“Yeah, as in the Governor of Michigan. The guy who’s aiming for the White House.”
Ace’s body tenses, his hand rubbing the back of his neck to ease the tautness in his muscles as he lets out a heavy exhale. “Um… okay. Yeah, right. I’m not sure what you want me to find, but I can look.”
I figure if Ace is going to put his time and effort into this, he needs to know what he’s dealing with. He needs to know what kind of people he’s looking into. So I steady myself, my palms coating in a fine mist of sweat as I rest my arms on the bar, taking a deep breath looking off into space. “I met Everett in the psych ward when I was admitted after my diagnosis.”
Ace swivels on his stool to face me. Resting his elbow on the bar, he props himself up to listen.
“He was so full of life when I met him. I was in such a depressive state, I guess I was looking for someone to make me feel… something. I’d just left Trax, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. My life was spinning completely out of control. I didn’t know what the hell was going on half the time. I was in such a deep, depressive episode, I couldn’t think logically, and Everett was just… there. He was the only shining light in the dark.
“Not romantically, he was never anything like that, but he was a friend. Someone to help me smile. He kept saying I reminded him of someone, and that the reminder made him happy. So, I thought we were good for each other, you know what I mean?”
Ace grimaces as I turn to look at him, he’s taking all this in, then I stare to the back of the bar gazing at nothing in particular, feeling almost numb as I continue, “Everett and I got along so well until another girl was admitted to the hospital. I started to talk to her, you know, just being friendly and all. But Everett didn’t like it. He only wanted us to be friends only. That’s when things started to get weird. He would corner me in the halls talking about government conspiracies. How they were trying to stop us from being together. How the government was all in on it and behind it from day one. I had no idea what he was talking about, so of course, I started to steer clear of him which only made him worse.”