by Robin Roseau
* * * *
That was my answer for the next several days. Larien stopped trying to argue with me, but it was long after I stopped responding to her about it.
Vérundia herself came. I'd been there for two weeks or a little more. I was sitting on the sofa, reading the same book for the fifth or sixth time. What else did I have to do? She entered the room and came to a stop in front of me.
She spoke, and Larien said, "She says you will learn to speak both Altearan and the language of the Goddess."
"Did you tell her what I said?"
"Yes."
"Does she bring convincing proof Ralalta knows the truth?"
"Of course not."
"The answer is no."
Through Larien, she tried to argue with me, but it's hard to argue with someone who doesn't bother arguing back. Twice I said, "I stated my price. You have nothing else I want."
She went away angry.
* * * *
She came back the next day, carrying books. Altearan books. I gave them a glance and said, "Nice try."
The next day she tried gems, a lovely necklace. I roared with laughter. "Even you know that isn't going to work, Larien."
The day after that she brought Ullaméistra, but the old woman didn't have her stick, so I wasn't so frightened of her. The woman sat down, held up a plum, and said a word. I returned to my book. The woman stayed for two hours, holding things up and saying words. I did what I could to ignore her.
Of course, I learned a few words, but I wasn't going to admit that. And they must know I couldn't avoid but learn some words. She was saying them often enough to me. But I didn't repeat a single one, and even if I learned what they meant when Ulla said them, I couldn't have pronounced half of them.
That went on for a week. I didn't speak a single word in any language except Framaran and, to annoy Larien, Arrlottan.
Then Vérundia and Ullaméistra came together. Ulla held up a shoe and said the damned word. I put my nose back in my book.
And Vérundia snatched it out of my hand.
"Hey!" I made a grab for it, but she danced away, speaking quickly. And then two women -- clearly guardswomen -- moved into the room, and Vérundia hid behind them, waving my book at me and smiling broadly. Then she pointed to Ulla.
And that woman held up a shoe and said the word.
Larien was watching all this. I didn't care for the escalation, but I'd been expecting something like this. "So. Enjoying this?"
"Not really," she said. "Ask us for something we can give you, and you'll have it, Yallameenara. But you will learn."
"Do you know how Juleena convinced me to learn to speak Framaran?"
"Yes," she said.
"So Muranna told you all my secrets." I shook my head. "Bitch."
"Probably not all, but we anticipated some difficulty with you."
"It's too bad I have no questions I want answered."
"There is the question of how to navigate the caverns."
"How many words to be taught enough to make it to the dining hall and back with no fear of getting lost?"
She spoke rapidly to Vérundia, who replied easily. "One hundred."
"Five."
"That's laughable."
"And I get the book back."
Vérundia held firm. I held firm. Eventually she, Ulla, the guards, and my book walked out the door.
"It's okay," I said. "I've read that one." That was meant as a joke, as I'd read all the books Larien had given me. I got up and collected another.
* * * *
The next day, they came back. I held far more tightly to my book and ignored Ulla, so Vérundia simply walked to the bookcase and selected another one. Then she said clearly in Framaran, "One hundred."
"Oh, so she's learning," I said. "Very good. All right. Ten, and I get one of the books back."
Vérundia looked at Larien, who translated. The two went back and forth for a minute. "What will you want tomorrow," Larien asked. "If we grant this today?"
"For her to steal no books," I said, "and to return the other one."
"And what will you offer."
"One word per day to keep my books, and five words per day for new books I can read."
"How many words a day did you learn from Juleena?"
"That is irrelevant."
"How many?"
"I had a lot of questions," I said. "She was taking me somewhere new, and I'd never been anywhere. I was scared as to what would become of me. Answers had value."
"Books have value."
"She had better arguments for why I should cooperate," I said. "I wasn't angry with her. And she had a timeline that I could agree to. And I was still very much a girl of the Arrlotta and far more meek than I have become."
"You were never meek."
"You have never lived with the Arrlotta, where girls are meek or beaten. Well, they are beaten anyway, but they are beaten far more often if they are not meek."
"That's horrible."
"Which is why I'd never go back."
"Make a real offer, Yallameenara."
"I did. Bring me proof Ralalta knows the truth, and I will be far more cooperative. Oh, I won't accurately repeat anything the Goddess tells me, but I'll learn enough to tell her what I think of all of this."
"We can't do that."
"I've made my offer." Then I looked down at the book I still held and pretended to read.
* * * *
That evening, once alone, I found places to hide my remaining books. Larien noticed right away the next morning, of course, but she said nothing.
Vérundia and Ulla arrived with the guards. Ulla held up a book -- written in Altearan, of course -- and said the word.
"Book," I said and smiled.
"Book," she repeated, and my mouth dropped open in shock.
"Well, well," I said. "Except I don't care if she learns Framaran. Nice try though."
She tried, and when I ignored her, Vérundia looked to my bookshelf. I was waiting for that, and smiled. So she took the violin instead. Well, that was fine. I didn't have music for it anyway, and I was a poor player besides.
* * * *
The next day, she found nothing I cared about, and she left, vexed.
The following day, the guards moved to my sides, pinned me to the sofa, and then Vérundia wrested the book from my hands. I was running low on books.
The day after that, I wasn't holding any books for her to steal, but I offered her a sweet smile.
She tried pleading. She tried bargaining. But she wasn't impressed with my offer, and I wasn't raising it any further than I had. They left, clearly annoyed.
That evening, however, she wasn't at dinner. I grew suspicious, but I said nothing. But when Larien escorted me to my room, Vérundia was waiting, and she held in her arms my remaining books. She waited until I saw what she had before she left.
She'd taken the last thing I had that could serve as a distraction from boredom.
* * * *
I took to exercising instead of reading. I'd never needed to before. I'd led such an active lifestyle I'd always gotten good exercise. And I stopped responding at all when they came to my room. I simply kept exercising, slowly, to make it last.
That standoff lasted a while. I was bored out of my mind, but I wasn't backing down.
I slept a lot.
And then one morning, there was no breakfast. I said nothing, although I knew this was to be a new game.
Vérundia, Ulla, and the two guards arrived. Ulla had a plate of food, and she made sure I saw it.
"Nice try," I said. "So, you're going to starve me now?"
"Yallameenara, a few words," Larien said. "What would it kill you?"
I went without breakfast. Or lunch. It wasn't the first time. Dinner came and went. Vérundia and Ulla returned with a plate. I turned my back on them. Eventually they left.
I had water, but nothing else.
I stopped exercising. I slept a lot.
I went without food f
or three days. On the night of the third day, Vérundia and Larien came to me alone. I was curled up on the bed, and I rolled over to give them my back.
"The rules of war require you to see to the needs of your prisoner in keeping with her station. I am the Lady Yallameenara, foster daughter of the queen of Ralalta. Alteara is in violation of the rules of war."
"We're not at war," Larien said.
"Holding me against my will this way is criminal. Refusing to feed me is criminal. Demanding I perform in order to be fed is criminal. I have nothing further to say."
They begged and pleaded. I said not another word.
Finally they stood. "Yallameenara, there is a plate here for you," Larien said. And then they were gone.
When I looked it was some sort of horrible, tasteless gruel. But it was food, or so I hoped, and I ate it.
They tried to out stubborn me. I received one plate of the gruel each night. I lost weight, weight I couldn't really afford to lose. I stopped responding to people. I stopped caring what happened.
But not one word of Altearan crossed my lips.
Oubliette
I lost track of the days. I did nothing but sat or lay in a daze. The high points were when Vérundia or Ulla would try to force me to learn words.
I stopped letting them take me to the bathing room, which was a shame, because that was truly a joy. Instead, Féla and Naddí began washing me with just a damp cloth. I'm sure I grew aromatic and my hair poor. I didn't care. There was no one to impress. What was surprising was that my hair continued to grow, but it remained entirely black.
One day, it changed again. Vérundia arrived with Larien and several guards. I turned my back and curled into a ball. Larien sat down on the bed beside me.
"Yallameenara, listen to me," she said. "This is about to get worse for you. I can stave that off. Five words. Give me five words."
I didn't bother answering.
"If you don't, they're taking you somewhere else. Another room. A terrible room."
"Am I to be tortured?"
"I do not know that word."
"Worse than beaten," I said.
"No, Yallameenara."
"Killed?"
"No."
"My hair remains black."
"It isn't long enough. It may need to reach its full length before it will turn white. Mine turned white overnight. I woke, and it was white. That is most common. With others, it is still full length, but then it's like the white grows in. I do not know what yours will do."
"If you give me my books and feed me properly and treat me as befitting my station, if my hair turns white, I will allow them to teach me."
"I'm sorry. Five words. You pick the five. And we go away, but we leave a lovely breakfast."
"And if I don't."
"The soldiers will take you somewhere else. The floor is stone. There is no furniture. There is nothing to look at. There is no one to talk to. It is small, and there is no exit you can reach."
"I will remember how I am treated," I said. "If I do not have the power you believe I have, then treating me this way is wrong. If I do have the power, then treating me this way is very, very foolish."
"I know, but Vérundia will not listen to me any longer."
"No words," I said. "I have given my prices, and you have denied me."
Larien didn't argue any further. Vérundia spoke crisply, and the guards stepped forward. I didn't fight them as together they lifted me from the bed. I slumped between them, and they half dragged me from the room and through the corridors.
I grew lost, of course, and it was a long way besides. But then we entered a bare room, and there was a hole in the floor. They took me to the floor, and Vérundia held a lamp so I could see. There was a room visible through the floor.
"Ten words," Larien said. "Ten words, and we'll bring you back to your quarters."
"May your hearts grow black and shriveled," I said.
The soldiers lowered me into the hole, then dropped me. I plummeted, screaming, until I reached the floor. It wasn't so far, but of course I fell. I didn't get hurt, but it was probably a near thing.
Larien called down to me. "Yallameenara, I am very sorry. I tried to talk her out of this. She is adamant. The price of a light for a day is ten words. The price to be removed is twenty words. The price after that to remain free is twenty words a day."
"I'll be dead before my hair grows in," I said. "I'm losing weight. You are killing me. I do not believe you care."
She spoke quietly for a few minutes.
"Please, Yallameenara. You cannot win in the end."
"Maybe not, but I will die before you will win. I hope my mother lives a long, long life. I wonder if your goddess is watching. I wonder if she approves. You are all fools, and now you begin a slow murder. If your goddess approves of what you do here, I will never worship her. Never!" I screamed the last word.
* * * *
They went away, and I lay in the dark, the stone hard, with no light. No sound but my own crying.
I moved around, a little. It was a small room, entirely smooth stone, the floor, the walls for as far as I could reach, and curved. Round, or close to it, with the walls sloping inwards as they rose. The hole in the ceiling was well above what I could reach.
I lay. I sat, leaning against the wall. I lay on my other side.
And that was the extent of my variety.
Someone came back later. There was a light. I looked up, squinting. It was one of the guards. She waited until I was looking, and then she showed me a bucket. She held it down, and then dropped it.
It fell, but it didn't break, and then it rolled away. I would have to find it later. In the dark.
They came back, much later. Vérundia and Larien. Larien pleaded with me. I didn't respond. Eventually they lowered another bucket on a string. There was a bowl in the bucket, and a spoon. They pulled the bucket back up after I had taken the meager meal from it.
And then they were gone.
After that, they came only once a day, or so I guessed. They lowered a string, and I sent my bucket up. It came back empty, but smelling foul. They pleaded, and then they lowered a meal.
I lost track of the days, but I gave them not a word.
* * * *
I grew weaker. And weaker still. I developed a cough that settled in my lungs and wouldn't go away. I knew I was dying.
"Will you tell Ralalta when I am dead?" I asked weakly. They didn't answer, but I was sure I could die in this hole and no one would ever know. “You are killing me as surely as if you used a knife.”
And then things changed again.
An Offer
"Yallameenara."
Someone was calling my name. I didn't care anymore. And then someone was touching my shoulder, and I jerked away, scrambling away from the light, backing up against the wall and shielding my eyes. Keening.
The person knelt in front of me. She was beautiful, and I knew her.
"Please don't die."
"Not my idea," I managed to say. I squinted. "I know you."
"Do you remember my name?"
"You betrayed me. You and that other woman."
"Yallameenara, do you remember my name?"
"Larien," I said. "Except even that's a lie. What does everyone else call you?"
"Everyone now calls me that name, Yallameenara."
I stared at her for a while, then the coughing struck. It went on a while.
"Yallameenara," she said, when finally I recovered. "The king and queen are here. They wish to speak with you."
"Sending me home to die?"
"No."
I looked around. "Well, show them in," I said. "Don't keep them waiting."
"They have an offer for you."
"Sending me home?"
"No."
"Not interested."
"I think you are," she said. "How would a hot bath sound, and a real meal? And maybe a warm bed?"
"How many words do you think I'm suddenly going to offer?"
"None."
"What do you want?"
"Hear their offer."
I closed my eyes. I may have faded out. She had to shake me.
"Let me help you up."
I looked at her. "I haven't stood in... I don't know how long."
"Yalla," she said gently.
"You dropped me here to die. Go away and let me die."
"I told her this was wrong. I told her she wouldn't win this way. I told her to be patient. She thought she could beat you."
"Ha. Last laugh on her. If your Goddess comes to me before I die, or if I go to her afterwards, I will tell her I was murdered."
"Please, Yalla," she said. "Let's get you cleaned up so you can see the king and queen."
I closed my eyes. "It's too late," I said. "Too late."
Well, apparently Larien didn't agree. The guards came down. They moved me to the middle of the room. I didn't fight them. They moved me onto a mat, and then it closed up around me as ropes lifted, and I was pulled from the oubliette.
They had to carry me. I'm sure it wasn't pleasant. They carried me to the bathing chamber first. I did nothing as Féla and Naddí saw to everything. I smelled quite horrible, and the clothing was long ruined. But they cleaned me carefully before helping me into the pools, Naddí climbing in with me so I wouldn't sink. They bathed me again, and again. And then I took Naddí's arms and pulled them around me so she just held me. A minute later, Féla was there, too, and they both held me in the warm pool.
I don't know if I cried. I probably did. I don't know.
Eventually they pulled me out, but it took two guards to help. They dried me, and they powdered me, and they dressed me in a simple, simple dress. I complained, but Larien wasn't there, and my complaints weren't convincing.
Then I had help returning to my old room. Larien was waiting, and there was food. She fed me, Vérundia looking on, talking in a worried voice.
I coughed a lot.
I spoke not at all.
I ate what Larien put in my mouth. I drank when she offered a cup.
I focused my eyes on Vérundia. She really did look worried. "Why does she care? She threw me into that hole, and she had to hear the coughing."
"She didn't know you were so weak."
"She put me in that hole to die," I said. “Evil woman.”
"Desperate woman, Yallameenara," said Larien. "And it's growing more desperate."