by Robin Roseau
"But I also believe it is wrong for you to wish to leave us. I am happy to discuss that with you as much as you want. We need you, Yallameenara."
"Others need me, and your need does not give you the right to do what you have done."
"I have not done these things."
"That was a, hmm. A group 'you'."
"Ah. Well, as I said, I agree with you. I do not like being asked to give the vows I have given. I would rather you would decide to be happy here. I would rather you open yourself to the love of the Goddess and the possible love of your friends here."
"I haven't friends here."
"You could, if you wished them," she said. "I would like us to be friends, Yallameenara." And then she caressed my cheek, and a moment later brushed lips to the other. "Or more, if you find me pleasing," she whispered. Then she caressed again.
I stood quietly, and she waited for me to respond. "When we are in private," I said finally, "If you like, you may call me Yalla."
"Thank you, Yalla," she said. "You may call me Terél, if you like."
"I will."
"Yalla," she said. She brushed the blindfold, then wriggled our bound wrists. "These do not need to be an encumbrance. They can, instead, be fun, perhaps."
I thought about it. "Perhaps," I agreed. "When do I blindfold you?"
She laughed. "If you come to my bed, you may do anything to me you like, or ask me to do anything to you." She caressed my cheek again, and a moment later she was removing the blindfold. I blinked in the light as she squirreled it away.
Terél was smiling at me, and I thought she looked lovely and sweet. I found myself staring for a minute, and she didn't rush me. But then my thoughts caught up. "I have to ask something."
"During our time together, you may ask me anything you like."
"Did you make the offer you did, just now, because you like me, or because you think I am the new high priestess?"
"I made it for many reasons. No one shares my bed right now, and I miss that. I like your looks, and I like your spirit. I admire you. Those are all about you and me as two women. But you are the new high priestess, and I want you to be happy. I want you to stay, Yalla, and to be pleased to stay." And then she smiled more broadly. "And as you come into your power, sharing a bed with the high priestess can't be beaten, or so I am told."
I laughed. "Oh?"
"You know we have magic."
"So I am told."
"I have a little. You will have far more."
"You know I believe that is ridiculous."
"You will see. What I have is amplified when it works through you. Or on you, Yalla."
I laughed. "I see."
"It is only a tingle on each other," she added. "And not even that with someone who is not one of the priestesses. Do you see?"
"I do," I said. I thought about it. Even though she was quite a bit older than I was, she was lovely and sweet, and I thought kind as well. And so it was my turn to caress her cheek, although I didn't kiss her. "I am not ready to share any beds, but if I were, the list I might pick is short, and I think I could enjoy such sharing with you. So I do not reject your offer, but I do not yet accept it, either. If you should find yourself with other beds to share, you should see to your own happiness. I can make no promises your happiness lies with me."
"So that is 'maybe'."
"Yes. That is 'maybe'."
"I can live with 'maybe'. I think I will work on becoming true friends. But I am also going to touch, unless you ask me to stop, and I am going to encourage you to grow more comfortable with me."
"I'd like that," I said.
"Good. All right. Today we begin. We will spend a portion of our time getting to know each other better. And I will begin to teach you the language of the Goddess. In the future, this will be more about our lesson than friendship, and if you wish more time with friendship, you must make more time together."
I nodded understanding.
"Let us find a place we wish to sit." She turned me towards the exit.
As she had said, she had stopped us underneath the great arch, still in the shade, but looking out, it was a bright, summer day, and quite beautiful. I shaded my eyes for a moment, but they grew accustomed.
"We may step outside when you are ready."
I nodded and then moved forward. We stepped into the sunlight, and then forward to the edge of the space before the entrance. I could see the valley far below, the one where we had left the carriage when we first arrived. The path up was to our left and continued, moving away from the edge, to our right.
I looked around for a while then said, "I have never been in mountains before coming here. There are hills in Framara, up and down the coast overlooking the ocean, but they are not at all like this. And of course The Hippa is quite different. It is not flat. The land rolls. But compared to this, it is a tabletop."
"I am from the coast," she said. "A fishing village. It is north, and the winters are harsh."
"I imagine they are harsh here, as well."
"The fires of the Goddess keep us warm."
"So they do," I replied.
"There is a meadow," she said. "Will you let me bring you?"
"Of course."
Our wrists were bound, but she twisted, and then her fingers slipped into mine. And after that, we held hands for our time together, and all the future times together. She pulled on my hand, and I turned to follow her.
We began with the path I'd once been told led to the village, but there was a side path, narrower, and we could not walk side-by-side, but instead Terél led us, her hand behind her back so we could walk.
The meadow was not far, perhaps ten minutes from the entrance, but it was uphill, and we were both breathing hard before we arrived.
It was beautiful, and as we stepped into it, I came to a stop. "Oh. I have missed being outside."
"I imagine," she said. "It is past time you were outside the way you crave."
"Thank you for this, Terél."
She led me to a place she liked, a stunted tree at the edge of the meadow, but one that commanded a view of the entire meadow and the mountains around us. "We can each lean against the tree, or you could place your head in my lap."
I laughed. "Maybe during future days together."
And so we both sat, our backs against the tree, our shoulders touching.
"You know, I don't think I've done this before," Terél said.
"Sat with your back against a tree."
She nudged me with her shoulder. "Tried to get to know someone. I came here so young; we all do. I don't know how to go about it."
"Ah. Well, I have quite a bit of experience. We start with simple facts, and then we get more personal. So, you were young. How young?"
"I was six," she replied. "I was still five when my hair changed color, but it was a heavy winter, and travel was difficult, so it wasn't until I was six that I traveled to the capital, and then I was brought here."
"You've been here ever since?"
"Yes and no. I have been home. Not often. And our duties to the Goddess involve travel throughout much of Alteara. But we all attempt to come here for the major rites. One approaches, and you will see our ranks swell. I am surprised no one has arrived yet."
"Oh, these are not all the priestesses?"
"No, no. About a third or so. Even the acolytes travel, assigned to a priestess."
"Were you frightened?"
"A little. There are signs a girl may be a priestess. First, she almost always has black hair."
"I thought we all had black hair."
"No. Once every few generations, it is the other way. She is born with snow white hair, and then a portion becomes black instead of the other way around. The end result is the same, but it comes from the opposite direction."
"Does that mean anything in particular?"
"No, although these girls come to us a little later, perhaps nine or ten. And it is rare."
"So, frightened?"
"Ah, ye
s. So there are signs. All girls with straight, black hair or straight, snow-white hair are watched. People wonder. Will she become a priestess? You may not have seen this, but we tend to be gentle."
"Vérundia does not appear gentle to me."
"She has a difficult role. She is our leader, but she is not our high priestess. If you embraced your position, you would usurp her."
"Is she jealous?"
"No. I think, if she trusted you to lead wisely, she would happily leave you to it, or so she has said."
"About me?"
"Well, about her wishes we had a high priestess so she could return to her devotion to the Goddess. You understand. The high priestess receives divine guidance. Vérundia does not, and she feels her humanity."
I thought about that, but I didn't want to discuss it further. "So. Gentle."
"If a girl with straight, black hair is seen to be very gentle, good with animals and younger children, the talk becomes more serious. If she shows an affinity to a particular animal, then it is even more so." She looked over at me. "Like horses."
"Oh," I said. "And do you have such an affinity?"
"Would you like to see? You must be very still."
"Yes." I squirmed a moment to grow more comfortable, and then I sat as quietly as I could. Terél paused a moment, then she began to whistle gently, an unrecognized tune. She continued to whistle, but then she said, "Look."
A small mountain squirrel was approaching, standing up on his back legs from perhaps ten paces away. Terél returned to her whistling, and the squirrel came closer and closer until it hopped up on her leg, looking at her.
"Hello, darling," she crooned. She reached with a hand, and the squirrel rested his front paws on her finger. "I'm sorry. I have no nuts for you today." He cocked his head back and forth, his whiskers and tail twitching. She crooned softly for a few minutes before she said, "Thank you for visiting. Please give my greetings to your babies, and I'll try to bring a little treat for them the next time I come."
He bobbed once, and then he turned tail and bounded off, chattering as he left.
"Wow," I said, once he was gone.
"Is that any different than your relationship with your horses?"
"They are horses, accustomed to me."
"But do they seem to listen when you talk?"
"I suppose they do, and far better than they might for others."
"For you, it is horses. For me, it is all of the small woodland creatures. Not birds, and nothing as big as a fox. That is why I like to come here. I call to them, and one or two visit. If I were to make a habit of coming frequently, they would begin to watch for me. In my younger years, I came here more often, and I would find myself somewhat surrounded by the local creatures, much as if they were a litter of puppies, come to sit with me."
"That's sweet," I said. "Thank you for showing me."
"This is why Vérundia wants to bring your horses here. She feels you cannot be happy without them. She wants to find a way. She believes as long as your horses are so far away, so will be your heart."
"I don't know how she can risk it. If I am allowed to ride them properly, I could escape, and you know I won't vow to remain."
"Perhaps you will," she said. "Or perhaps you won't vow, but you'll realize you aren't driven to leave. Your queen knows the truth. You could have friends here. A lover, or more than one. I would share you."
"Terél."
"I would. I do not know if Larien could share or not, but I think if it would make you happy, she couldn't help it. Your maids look at you with desire."
"They do not, and they are children."
"They are not. They are both adults."
"They're ten and six."
"I think older than that, and in Alteara, ten and six is an adult. And you are only ten and nine, so the difference is small. I would share you with Larien. Or with the maids. Or with all of them. Or perhaps there is someone else you fancy. Vérundia would share your bed."
"Terél!" I complained. "Now that's going just too far."
She giggled. "She would, you know. Any of us would."
"I suppose next you will recommend Ullaméistra to me, with her stick."
"Oh, I didn't know you liked sticks. Should I acquire one?"
"No. You should not." I laughed. "You're naughty."
"No. I enjoy life."
"So, peopled talked about you being a priestess."
"Yes. The adults were careful, but older children might overhear the adults, and children being children."
"Of course."
"I didn't understand when I was four or five, but I remember waking up on my sixth birthday and running to the mirror to see if my hair had changed. I was so disappointed. I didn't know what a priestess did, but I knew they served the Goddess, and everyone spoke about them in such tones, even if I'd never seen one."
"Ah."
"And then my hair didn't change on my seventh birthday, and I was sure I wouldn't be a priestess at all. And so it changed the day after. Imagine my surprise."
I laughed.
"I didn't even notice at first. It was my sister that began screaming, 'Mama! Mama! Terél's hair. Mama!' And so I ran to a mirror, and then I began screaming and crying at the same time." She turned and smiled at me. "My parents were so proud. My entire village was so proud. We had a big celebration that day, far, far larger than a birthday celebration. And everyone wanted to touch my hair. I didn't want them to, because I was afraid it would all fall out. But Mama ordered me to behave, and so I let them touch me."
She trailed off, and we sat quietly for a minute. Then I said, "Everyone should hate me. I don't want to be a priestess."
"We don't hate you," she said. "We're frustrated, because we don't know how to bring you into joy." She paused. "I suppose your early birthdays weren't the same, looking in a mirror to see if your hair changed color."
I laughed. "The horse people do not celebrate birthdays. The horse people celebrate a good hunt and a good foal."
"Oh."
"And we didn't have mirrors. But let me tell you about my ten and eighth birthday in Framara."
* * * *
We talked back and forth for an hour or so, learning little things about each other. It was pleasant. And there seemed to be more than the normal number of small animals about, but I thought my presence kept them from drawing as close as they might otherwise.
But then Terél said, "I must teach you now."
"I suppose."
"I must first tell you this. It is forbidden to teach the language of the Goddess to someone who is not a priestess." That didn't surprise me. "People who are not priestesses may acquire a few words, but a few words is not the same as understanding the language."
"I won't teach anyone," I said.
"Also, we do not speak casually in this language, except as an aid to learning. When we use this language, it is with care and reverence. We speak slowly and clearly, and we do not rush. We savor the words of our Goddess."
"I understand."
"You and I will eventually hold conversations using the language of the Goddess. That is to help you learn, and also in celebration of our reverence to her. We may include others in those conversations, but at least for now, that is not your choice."
"All right."
"Good. The language of the Goddess is based on no language spoken by humans, and you will find no familiar words and no familiar constructs, except those that any spoken language must have. However, the Goddess does not communicate with us in writing, or we to her that way, and so when we write, we write using the familiar alphabet."
"That will help."
"Good. I will give you an overview of the language itself, and a sense of the sounds. Today you will learn just one word, one very important word. Tomorrow I will test you and you will learn more words. And in a week, you will be speaking sentences to me."
"I'll do my best."
"Now, you must tell me honestly. What help do you need to be devoted?"
"Some girls require rewards for progress. Some require punishments for a lack of progress. Some require games, to become focused. I will agree to anything you desire, as long as you treat me honestly and become devoted."
"Oh. I don't think I need any of that, Terél."
"I have heard you demanded answers from Princess Juleena before you would learn words in Framaran. And I heard some of your negotiations before you would learn Altearan."
"Oh. I don't need any of that," I repeated. "If you wish to make games so this is more pleasant for both of us, I won't complain, but I can't think of any myself. If you wish to reward me for progress, I won't complain, but I don't know what you could offer that I covet. I coveted answers, and it was Princess Juleena that refused to provide them if I did not learn words. But you have nothing I covet."
"Don't I?" and there was something in her tone.
"We've had that discussion, and you told me I can have that for the asking."
"I would reward you with pleasures."
"I believe, Terél, that you are suggesting you want me to reward you for being a good teacher."
She laughed. "I think you're right."
"When we met, Larien liked to make wagers over kisses. Our first full day together, she insisted we race horses, with a kiss as the reward."
She laughed again. "And so she gave you a kiss."
"A very nice kiss. But then we played a card game, and I was obligated to kiss her. I thought it was silly."
"But fun."
"I suppose it was," I agreed. "I do not know how to reward you for being a good teacher, Terél."
"Yes you do," she said. "If I have been a good teacher today, before we leave this meadow, you could let me kiss you."
I thought about it. She didn't rush me. "All right," I said. "But I am not promising every day, unless it's a very good kiss."
She laughed. "It will be. Let us begin. The language of the Goddess has nouns and verbs like any language. But the nouns do not have gender, and the verbs do not have gender. The nouns have number, but the verbs only have tense."
"What is that?"
"Events in the past, events in the present, events in the future. And there are others, but that is enough to begin."
"All right."