Laces and Lace (Assassins #6)

by Toni Aleo

  Taking his mouth with her own, she closed her eyes as she squeezed his bicep, her tongue moving playfully with his as he continued to fuck her slowly. When her body went rigid underneath his, squeezing him so hard, he groaned loudly against her lips before pushing himself up and taking her by the backs of the knees. Holding her legs up, he pounded into her wildly, his face contorted in strong lines as he came inside her, his body jerking as his thrusts slowed and his grip on her backs of her knees loosened. Falling on top of her, he wrapped his arms beneath her head, holding her so close they shared the same breath as she got lost in his eyes.

  When his lips came near hers, she turned her face so that she could kiss him, but instead of kissing her, he said, “I don’t know how I’ll ever be the same after all that.”

  She opened her eyes, meeting his gaze as she took in the same breath he let out. “Yeah, I know what you mean.”

  He cupped her cheek, running his thumb along her cheekbone. “And I don’t know how I am going to open that door and walk out without you attached to me.”

  Don’t leave me then.

  The words were right there, but instead, she nodded as she tore her gaze from his. “I don’t know how I am going to let you.”

  Silence fell between them as his fingers played along her jaw and cheekbone. “I wish I would have never left.”

  “Me too,” she whispered, tears stinging her eyes as she looked up to meet his gaze. The words lodged in her throat. So she cleared her throat, taking in a deep breath, and then somehow, she asked, “Why did you leave me, Karson?”

  He looked down at her lips, his fingers stilling at her face as he took in a deep breath. She could see his brow furrow, feel his heart pounding, and she hated how perplexed he looked, but she had to know. Her heart felt as if it was coming out of her chest in anticipation of his answer. She never could figure out what she did to lose him, but she knew his excuse of doing it for her was still bullshit. Who leaves someone they love because they assume it’s better for the other person? Shouldn’t she have had some say in that? She knew what she wanted, and that was Karson.

  That’s all she’d ever need.

  Kissing her temple, he whispered, “This is too deep for right now. Let’s go to sleep and we can talk about it tomorrow.”

  “But we will talk?” she asked, meeting his gaze, and he nodded.

  “Of course, baby, and I’ll answer anything you want to know.”

  That pleased her, so she wrapped her arms tightly around his broad chest, nuzzling her nose along his as her eyes drifted shut. She hadn’t realized how tired she was until sleep took her under in the black mass. Being wrapped in his strong, warm arms provided her with the best sleep of her life, but it was short-lived because when she woke up to the sun shining on her face, Karson was gone.

  She couldn’t believe it.

  He was gone.

  Really gone.

  After everything they did the night before, he just left.

  What the hell?

  Just to be sure though, she searched her apartment a second time, but there was no trace of him. Not even a left-behind sock in the haste of running. It was as if he had never even been there. As if it was all a dream, but she knew it wasn’t. She still felt him on her. She was aching between her thighs, her hips hurt from where he had manhandled her, and her heart was pounding in her chest from being near him the whole night. Or maybe it was from where she was running through the apartment looking for him like a chicken with its head cut off as she cried and tried to breathe.

  She just couldn’t believe it.

  Falling onto the bed, she closed her eyes as the tears leaked out. Taking in a deep breath, she let it out as she cried into a pillow. How could he just leave her like that? No goodbye, no see you later, no thank you, nothing! It was mind-blowing and heartbreaking all in one. Did she do something wrong? Did she expect too much? They never promised anything… No wait, he did; he promised they would talk. Maybe that’s why he left?

  Maybe he was too much of a fucking coward to talk to her and tell her why the hell he left her almost ten years back. How dare he! He came in, ripped open her chest, took her heart out, loved on it, and then smashed it in his large hands. She hadn’t felt so unbelievably perfect in years, so loved, so treasured, but just like he had ruined her all those years ago, he did a repeat performance. How stupid could she be?

  This was her fault. She was supposed to go in for closure and not get attached, but she did exactly what she wasn’t supposed to do. She got so fucking attached and expected him to be there. She was pathetic. Bringing her face out of the pillow so she could take in another deep breath, she sat up and let the sob escape her lips.

  She was the dumbest girl in Chicago.

  Why was she sitting here bawling over someone who she was supposed to be over, someone who had continually done nothing but break her heart over and over again. He had been trouble since the beginning. Since the moment she touched his gorgeous face, felt his lips against hers, she knew he was going to change her world. He’d had then and still had the power to completely engross her. Make her his. He was dangerous, but for some stupid reason, she was still in love with him. She knew it was insane, but as he’d moved inside her, held her face, and looked at her with those sinful caramel eyes, she knew that she loved him still. It was ridiculous and plain dumb, but she loved him with her whole being. It was time to be done, though. She had to be done. She couldn’t keep letting Karson King break her into billions of pieces because obviously that was his life plan.

  To fucking ruin her.

  Leaning against the headboard of her bed, she looked around her room and hated it. She used to love her room, thought the teal blue and brown was gorgeous. Her bed was comfortable and sucked her in for a decent night’s sleep, but now, the room was plain, so quiet, not like it was the night before when she and Karson filled it with sexy noises of pleasure. No, now it was eerily quiet with only the sounds of her sobs. It was the sound of her life.

  Quiet and lonely.

  Yes, she had a wonderful, successful job that she loved very much and was proud of, but when she came home, she was alone. When she got letters from cancer survivors about how her pieces helped them feel sexy again, she didn’t have anyone to cry with and be just blissfully happy. When she wanted to go to the movies, she went alone. When she wanted to eat somewhere ritzy, she had to go alone. Yeah, she had Rachel, but she was too busy with Grady and the boys. They were older now too; they would still do anything for each other, but she couldn’t just call, expecting Rachel to go hang out with her or even cry because she was lonely. Rachel had a family, and also, if Lacey did cry to her about being lonely, she would tell Grady and then he would be off trying to hook her up with some scumbag.

  Lacey would much rather be lonely than have that happen again.

  But for some crazy, fucked-up reason, she had thought that was all about to change. She honestly fell back into her eighteen-year-old self, planning their whole life. It was so easy, so perfect, but so obviously a mistake. As much as she hated to say it, her dad was right. Karson was no good for her.

  Ugh, why did she let this happen? She should have pushed him away when he kissed her! She should have kicked him in the balls! She should have said no! She shouldn’t still love him! Why, oh why, was she still so utterly in love with him? When a sob bubbled at the base of her throat, she closed her eyes tightly as it ripped through her, shaking her body.

  She loved him because she couldn’t stop if she tried, and boy, had she tried. Over and over again, but she couldn’t let him go. Yeah, he was trouble, but he was her trouble. He’d loved her with a fierceness, one that she hadn’t been able to get over in years. Even though he’d left her and she was mad, she had forgiven him somehow through the years. She couldn’t be mad at someone who, when she looked in his eyes, she knew loved her. Even when he was breaking up with her, she knew he was doing it because he had no choice, or he seriously believed his dumbass reasons, or whatever. She kn
ew he didn’t want to. He wanted to be with her; he just couldn’t, and for some crazy notion, she believed he would come back for her. Yeah, she was mad and wanted to play hockey with his balls, but she never lost the feeling of knowing he loved her. It was her own pride that kept her from finding him and asking him why. She didn’t want to be rejected again, but for some reason, she forgot that because she allowed him to come in again and break her for a second time.

  She was downright stupid.

  She reached for her pillow to drown her sobs since she didn’t want her neighbor to hear her, which, really, why she cared was beyond her. It wasn’t as if she had ever even seen the guy, and she had been living there for four years. But she didn’t care about that right now; now she wanted to cry and be completely broken that she had lost Karson for a second time. There wouldn’t be a third time though, no matter what. Couldn’t be. The faster he got out of Chicago, the better.

  But what if he came back?

  She’d slam that door so damn hard and hope that his balls got caught in the process. She wasn’t sure why he was naked in this scenario, but he was, and she hoped she broke his balls like he broke her heart. Asshole.

  Maybe she’d go to Canada or Europe? That way she’d never see him, even though that thought had even more sobs bubbling inside her. She was beyond pathetic, but she’d worry about that later. Now she would cry. Now she would feel sorry for herself and wonder why she wasn’t fucking enough. She wouldn’t dare to think it was because of her breasts. No. She wouldn’t do that. He loved her—he did—he was just a fucking coward!

  Blinking through the tears, she went to drop her face into the pillow, but something caught her gaze. Wiping her eyes free of tears, she reached for the little piece of paper that was between the mattress and headboard to find it full of messy handwriting.

  Handwriting she knew belonged to Karson.

  Her heart kicked up in speed as she blinked away the new tears that gathered in her eyes and read the letter.

  My Lacey,

  I see that you still sleep harder than a rock. I swear, you could sleep through a hockey game if you really wanted, which I know you don’t when I play. Ha-ha. Your eyes are always on me.

  Last night was amazing, and I wish that I could have woken up to your gorgeous face grinning at me, but I had to go to morning skate and then do some promotional shit. Believe me, leaving this bed was the last thing I wanted to do, but I really had no choice. I’m sorry, but sorrier because as soon as the game is over, we are flying out to St. Louis. I am going to try to see if I can get a flight in the morning so hopefully, if you want to, you can meet me for drinks tonight. Actually, you have to meet me if I can stay because I stole your expensive, sexy, lace panties that I peeled off your hot body last night, and if you want them back, you’ll come meet me.

  Text me when you wake up and see this, since I don’t have your number and couldn’t find your phone in that suitcase you call a purse. Ha-ha.

  I’ll be waiting for your text.

  I already miss you.

  Love,

  Karson.

  Well, didn’t she feel like an idiot?

  (312) 543-3984: I thought you left without even saying goodbye.

  Sitting in the locker room, Karson’s face broke into a grin when he looked at the time after reading the text. It was almost eleven, and it pleased him that Lacey had just woken up. He really put it to her the night before, and man, what a night it was. His body was still humming with aftershocks from the best orgasms of his life. There was something about being buried deep in Lacey Martin that drove him completely senseless. She was unbelievable, sexy, and beyond special.

  He had spent the whole morning with his head flooded with thoughts of her. Yeah, it was no different than yesterday, but for some reason, he was actually playing well. He even hit the puck with the stick instead of missing it completely. It was amazing; he felt exceptional and couldn’t wait to see her again. He prayed that she wanted to see him because he needed to see her. He couldn’t get enough of her, and honestly didn’t know how the hell he had survived without her for so long.

  He was a dumbass for doing so, that’s for sure. But that would never happen again. Lacey was his. No matter what. Her dad could kiss his ass; he’d give it all up just for her. Anything for her. He had spent too long without her, and it was time for that to stop. He wasn’t sure what was going to happen, or even how he was going to make it work, but he was sure they would figure it out.

  They were soul mates.

  After saving her number, he replied.

  Karson: I would never. I tried to wake you up, but you pushed me away, grumbling something about it being too early.

  Lacey: Sounds like something I’d do, sorry about that. I guess the note fell between the headboard and mattress ’cause I just spent the last thirty minutes all upset ’cause I thought you left.

  Oh shit.

  Karson: Can I call you?

  Lacey: Yeah.

  Hitting her number, it rang only once before she answered.

  “Hey,” she said all groggy and sexy-like.

  He smiled. “Hey, sorry about that. I put the note right by your face, hoping you’d see it when you woke up.”

  “I guess I move a lot when I sleep, so I must have knocked into it and it fell. No big deal. I found it.”

  “Thank God,” he said with a laugh. “I would have been waiting all day to hear from you and thinking that you didn’t want anything to do with me.”

  “Yeah, see that’s what I just did,” she said shyly, making his heart thump louder.

  “I’m sorry, baby, I didn’t mean for that to happen.”

  “Like I said, it’s no big deal. We’re fine,” she said, but he could tell that it had been a big deal, that she may have even been crying. That alone put his stomach in knots. He didn’t do well when girls cried. It killed him, especially when it was Lacey.

  “Okay,” he said letting out a long breath. “Can I see you tonight?”

  “Yeah, I would love that,” she said softly. “Were you able to change your flight?”

  “Yeah, I fly out early in the morning.”

  “Okay, so now when I wake up and you’re not there, I’ll know why,” she teased and he chuckled.

  “Look at you jumping the gun, assuming I’ll be in bed with you again,” he teased back, leaning into the locker, a grin playing on his lips.

  “Oh, you won’t be?” she asked, and even though she wasn’t in front of him, he could see the grin playing on her sweet lips. He could just imagine her, sitting there, wrapped in the sheets, perfectly naked underneath as she held the phone to her ear. Her lips were probably red and swollen from the night before. Her body all sexy and worn out from him. The thought alone had him growing in his jeans. As much as he wanted to believe that they would be tangled in the sheets again tonight, he knew they needed to talk first.

  “Let’s get through drinks first, see if you will still want me there.”

  She was quiet for a moment and then said, “I think I will.”

  “I hope you will,” he admitted. “But let’s make sure.”

  “Okay,” she agreed. “Where do you want to meet?”

  He smiled. “How about the campus coffee shop?”

  They had spent many nights there. He’d even had a group of guys sing to her there for the chance to date her. He knew the coffee shop stayed open till three in the morning every day. Not only had he called to make sure, but he also remembered her studying till the wee hours of the morning while he sat there watching her. They were some of his favorite times with her. Watching her work, with her brows furrowed and her lip between her teeth as she figured out what the textbook was saying always turned him on. Especially when she would catch him watching her and glare playfully at him before smacking his arm.

  She was so beautiful and all his.

  “Oh wow, really? You don’t want alcohol? I think I might need alcohol if we are hashing out the past.”

  He laug
hed. “I mean, I can slip us in some whiskey for the coffee, but if you want to go somewhere in town, that’s fine.”

  “It’s not that. I just want a glass of wine, and I want to be close to my apartment so we can get there quickly afterward.”

  That coming out of her mouth at any other time would have turned him on, but at the moment, he didn’t want to just go shack up, he wanted her to love him again.

  “Karson? Sorry, I mean, if you really want to go to the coffee shop, that’s fine.” He guessed she made the offer since he had gone silent.

  “It’s not that,” he said, turning his face into the locker and leaning his head against it. “It’s just…I don’t want this to be about sex.”

  “I bet you haven’t said that too many times in the last nine years, huh?”

  He smiled. “Never.”

  He could hear the laughter in her voice. “That’s what I thought, but I got you, I don’t want that either. But then again, I don’t know what I want. I just want to see you again.”

  “Good, because I want that too.”

  “So do you want to go to Hub 51?”

  “Yeah, that’s fine,” he agreed. “Seven?”

  “Sounds good. I’ll be there.”

  “Awesome,” he said, his heart warming as he glanced at the time. He needed to finish getting dressed before heading to the media room for some promotional crap. “All right, baby, I gotta go. I’ll see you tonight. Text me if you get bored.”