Slay Bells Ring (A Christmas Cozy Mystery Series Book 2)

by Mona Marple

  “Greasy was killed last night,” I reminded him.

  “Last I knew, Twisty was in perfect health,” Drayton said with a shrug.

  “Physically, perhaps. But witnessing his business partner die must have been very traumatic.”

  “I can’t comment. I wasn’t there,” Drayton said.

  “You were there? I saw you?” I said.

  “Oh, no, I arrived after all of that commotion. I had no intentions of attending an event like that. Did you know that I applied to cater the event and they chose The Greasy Spoon instead?”

  “Ah. That must have been disappointing.”

  “It was an absolute travesty. The finest event of the year and they choose Ketchup Man as the chef? Ridiculous.”

  “What made you decide to go in the end?”

  “The lady I was with gave me a call and asked me to be her date. She’d been let down at the last minute.”

  “Very gentlemanly of you to step in at short notice,” I said.

  He smiled and revealed his teeth. “I’m not a fan of the one-night only kind of wham-bam-thank-you escapades, but sometimes needs must. I gave her a good night and sent her off on her way this morning. Is it terrible to admit that I’ve already forgotten her name? Ever since I set eyes on you last night, I’ve been struggling to focus on anything else.”

  I tried to resist the urge to roll my eyes but wasn’t altogether successful. “Well, that’s very sweet but I’m spoken for, so please don’t let me distract you too much.”

  “Last night’s girl was spoken for too, until she wasn’t. Keep hold of my card for the future, yeah?”

  “I will do,” I said, although I’d already thrown it away.

  “Mind if I join you until your food arrives?”

  “Feel free,” I said. Interrogating Drayton was the reason for my early start, and if he considered the whole thing to be some kind of linguistic foreplay, that had to work to my advantage.

  “Ask me anything. What would you most like to know about the man, the myth, the legend that I am?”

  If he carried on that way, I wasn’t sure that I’d keep any food down when it arrived. I managed to lean in and paste a smile on my face, though.

  “I heard a rumour that you’d been arguing with Greasy a couple of days ago. I know it’s awfully silly, but I do like gossip. I’d love to know what was said.”

  “Now that’s a waste of a question. I thought you’d ask me where our official first date will be, or how good a kisser I am on a scale of 1 to 10. It’s a 10, by the way. Hundreds of women say so.”

  “That’s good to know. But my actual question?”

  Drayton licked his lips again. “You like to keep a man on his toes, Holly. That’s excellent. Okay, I’m nothing if not trustworthy, and I did say any question. There was no argument. There. I bet you wish you’d asked a better question now.”

  “But people heard you. People saw you.”

  “No, little lady. You must be mistaken. I’m an affable kind of guy.”

  “So you’re saying that you didn’t argue with Greasy, and that when Greasy was killed, you weren’t even at the Ball?”

  “I was at home alone. I know that will be hard for your pretty little head to believe. Handsome man like me, home alone on New Year’s Eve. It makes no sense. Now, you tell me something, you say Greasy was killed. Are you thinking it wasn’t an accident?”

  “Oh, I don’t know about that. Surely, nobody would want to murder him?”

  Drayton let out a cackle and slapped his hands on the table. “Where’s the queue? There would be plenty of people, trust me!”

  “Really? Like who?” I asked.

  “Well, Lila would have to be the obvious choice. She sets up the events, doesn’t she? If you’re looking for someone who could have rigged that glitter ball, she’s your woman.”

  “That’s an interesting theory,” I said.

  Summer reappeared at the table with my avocado smash. I couldn’t quite make out the details of it because of the lighting being so low, but the smell was good.

  “Summer, doll face, fetch me a tomato juice?”

  Summer nodded and turned, and I watched in horror as Drayton reached across and slapped her bum. She flinched, but said nothing.

  “Do your staff like you doing that?” I tried to keep my voice even as I spoke.

  “The girls love it! I mean, I wouldn’t be doing that to no man anyway, would I? But, yeah, these girls, they’re pretty but they need the reassurance. Give them a compliment, make sure the shirt’s a real tight fit, bit of a tap of the ass now and then. It’s the way to a happy workplace.”

  “It sounds like the way to a lawsuit for sexual harassment to me,” I murmured.

  If Drayton heard, he chose not to respond, and when Summer returned with his drink in a glass, he repeated the move in a stubborn way.

  I ate quickly and paid, then left.

  As soon as I had walked out of Sleigh A While, I dialled the number for Claus Cottage.

  “Claus Cottage, Mrs Claus speaking.”

  “Mrs Claus, it’s Holly. I’ve just been to Sleigh A While and I’ve witnessed something really troubling,” I blurted out.

  “Have you found the killer?”

  “What?”

  “I figured that must be why you’re out early. You think it’s foul play, don’t you, dear? I do too! I wish you’d woken me. I’d love to help you investigate.”

  I let out a laugh and felt myself relax. Mrs Claus had that effect.

  “I’d love you to help, yes please! But that’s not why I’m calling. I’ve just been to Sleigh A While and I’m really concerned by the way Drayton behaves. I saw him slap a waitress’ bum!”

  Mrs Claus gasped. “Goodness gumdrops. We can’t have that. I’ll get Baby ready right away and drive down to have a word with him.”

  “Oh, Mrs Claus, should it be you? Why don’t we ask Wiggles to speak to him?”

  “No, dear. There’s a certain level of respect that Mrs Claus commands. Some situations need a personal touch, and I think this is one of those. I’ll just touch up my lipstick and I’ll be there in two shakes of a snow globe.”

  7

  I returned to Claus Cottage in time for the New Year’s Day Luncheon. A crew of catering elves had been hired for the occasion and Gilbert was micro-managing them with ferocity.

  I watched with amusement as a trail of elves carried glorious trays of meats, cheeses, chocolates and canapés into the formal dining room. Gilbert had a comment for every one of them, telling some to stand up straighter, others to smile, and then to one particular elf, “wipe your nose once more and you’re on reindeer duty!”

  Gilbert spotted me watching and gave me a wave.

  “You look busy,” I said.

  “These young elves, they don’t know the basics. Nobody’s getting the kind of training I had!”

  “You can say that again,” a sour voice came from behind us. I spun around and saw Peggy-Sue, her finger extended and trailing across the top of the cabinet.

  “Just what are you doing?” Gilbert asked as Peggy-Sue inspected her finger for dust.

  “I refuse to eat in dirty premises. So far, so good. You cleaned especially for today?”

  Gilbert puffed up his chest but his voice wavered. “Every day is cleaning day here, thank you very much.”

  “Ah. Well, you missed a spot in the downstairs loo, I’m afraid.”

  “I did no such thing,” Gilbert said, but he cleared his throat and dashed away in the direction of the toilet.

  “Has he really?” I asked when he was out of earshot.

  Peggy-Sue sneered at me. “I haven’t even been in the downstairs loo.”

  I widened my eyes but decided not to engage. Since I was staying in Claus Cottage for the moment, I was representing the Claus family, and it would do no good to fall out with a guest.

  “Is there a vegan menu?” Peggy-Sue asked.

  “Oh, I don’t actually know. I haven’t been part of the
food prep. I’m sure we’ll be able to put something together for you, though,” I said. Mrs Claus wouldn’t allow any guest to go hungry, I knew that much.

  “And there lies the problem. The other guests receive a banquet that plenty of thought has gone into, but the lonely vegan has something put together at the last minute. It’s discrimination. I may have to make my feelings known,” Peggy-Sue said, and with that she stalked away, probably in search of someone else to complain to.

  I made my way through the crowded house with several people greeting me and wishing me a Happy New Year. Everyone had dressed up for the luncheon and spirits were high. The excitement in the air was palpable - to be invited to Claus Cottage was a big deal for most residents in Candy Cane Hollow.

  I thought again how lucky I was to have been rescued by Mrs Claus and welcomed into her home. And the arms of her son. Anyway.

  I had to find Gilbert.

  He was in the downstairs toilet, as I suspected, complete with a dusting rag and a tin of beeswax.

  “I think she was joking,” I said.

  Gilbert looked at me as if I was speaking another language. “Joking about cleaning? Why would someone do such a thing?”

  “Some people have odd senses of humour.”

  “Peggy-Sue doesn’t have a funny bone in her body. If she was lying, she did it to torment me. Lying and joking aren’t the same thing, Holly.”

  “No, you’re right,” I said.

  “I cannot put up with someone coming into Claus Cottage and suggesting that the highest levels of cleanliness aren’t being met! I may as well just, just, just get my coat and leave!”

  “I’m not sure there’s any need for that. Let’s give her a chance and write it off as a clumsy joke. This place looks spotless, all the time.”

  Gilbert gave the small room another once over, then we opened the door and walked out one after the other. That attracted a few strange glances from the new people arriving.

  “Holly, there you are!” Twisty appeared and grabbed me by the arm. His face looked pale and his eyes were red, but his voice was strong and firm.

  “Twisty, how are you doing?”

  “I’m quite alright, although I just have to speak to you.”

  “Oh? Of course. What’s on your mind?” I asked.

  “A little angel told me that you went to Sleigh A While this morning. Is that true?”

  “Erm, yes. I had breakfast there,” I admitted.

  “But why would you go there? With the sad loss of our dear friend, Greasy, I can assure you that The Greasy Spoon needs your support.”

  “It was closed,” I said. I decided not to reveal that even if it had been open, I would have still gone to Sleigh A While so that I could interrogate Drayton.

  “Today it was closed. It would have been insensitive to open. But we shall reopen, with a new decor and a new menu. The Greasy Spoon will be better than ever! In Greasy’s memory, of course.”

  “I’m pleased to hear it. I’ll be sure to pop in when you open again,” I promised.

  “Wonderful! Please, bring one of the Clauses with you. All of them, even. They really do give a place the seal of approval if they actually go there themselves.”

  “I’ll see what I can do,” I said.

  “You’re a star,” Twisty said with a thin smile.

  “You said last night you didn’t actually see the accident, did you?”

  “Oh, no. Little boys’ room! Weak bladder. Guess I’m getting old! I came right out when I heard the commotion but thankfully, I didn’t see it happen.”

  “That’s it, the toilet. You said last night,” I said. In fact, he’d given me his alibi before I’d asked for it. Was that suspicious?

  “I’m glad I didn’t see it. Anyway, I’ll let you mingle. I know everyone wants a few minutes with you.”

  Twisty was right.

  Everyone and their reindeer wanted five minutes with me.

  A doddery old woman named Shirley asked me how Nick had proposed, and was mortified when I told her he hadn’t actually proposed.

  “But you exchanged a kiss with him at the Ball,” she managed to croak with her weakened voice as she filled a plate with festive fancies.

  “Ah, well spotted,” I said with a wink.

  “He won’t be buying the cow if he’s getting the milk for free. Mark my words!”

  “I’ll certainly remember that,” I said with a grimace. I patted her arm and walked away, ignoring the rumbling of my stomach.

  It wasn’t worth helping myself to any food as I’d be interrupted before I could take a bite.

  8

  All I did was attempt to cover a food platter with clingfilm, and I felt Gilbert’s gaze boring into me.

  “That’s not your job,” he said. His arms were crossed and his expression was anything but jolly.

  “I just thought I’d help,” I said.

  “Oh! I see! Gilbert is an elf who needs help to clear away after a luncheon. I get it. You think it’s all too much for me? Or you’ve been watching the way I tidy and felt the need to do better? I should just…”

  “…hang up your apron sleeves,” I muttered under my breath. I was getting used to the elf’s dramatics.

  “…hang up my apron sleeves and retire!”

  “I’m sorry, I just think it’s polite to help out. You’ve all welcomed me into your home. I’m not used to having a household manager, remember,” I decided to go with flattery rather than sarcasm.

  “You’re not?” Gilbert asked in disbelief.

  “I live alone in London,” I reminded him. Or, at least, I used to live alone in London. It was looking more and more likely that Candy Cane Hollow would be my new home.

  “Ah. You’re a peasant,” Gilbert said with a knowing look.

  “A peasant?! I’m not a peasant!” I said with a laugh.

  “But you don’t have house staff?”

  “Nobody has house staff in London. Most people are working all day just to afford a one bedroom flat, never mind anything so luxurious as a Gilbert!”

  His chest puffed up a little with that compliment. “I’ll have to remember to be a little more patient with you, since you have no proper etiquette training. Try to remember that if I need your help, I’ll ask you.”

  “Okay,” I said.

  “And, one more thing.”

  “Yes?”

  “I’ll never ask you.”

  I nodded my understanding and stood away from the table as Gilbert methodically wrapped dishes, stacked empty plates and cleared up pieces of spilled sausage roll pastry and crisps.

  After a few moments, I decided to leave him to it and slip out of Claus Cottage.

  I made it to the entrance hall before Mrs Claus came bounding downstairs.

  “Holly! Where are you off to?”

  “I was just going for a walk,” I said. It was not exactly the truth, but not a lie, either.

  “Fancy some company? We need to start thinking about setting you up at the surgery,” Mrs Claus said.

  “Do you read minds? I was literally just thinking that,” I said.

  Mrs Claus grinned at me with a twinkle in her eye.

  We pulled on our outdoor clothes and called a goodbye to Gilbert, Nick and Father Christmas.

  Snow was falling steadily and I was grateful for the gloves and hat.

  “Where are you off to then, dear?”

  “I just fancied a walk,” I said, then immediately regretted not sharing the whole truth. Mrs Claus had made me feel so welcome.

  “That’s nice,” Mrs Claus said.

  “I wanted to go and speak to Lila. I heard she works at The Reindeer Run?”

  “Oh, yes. She’s one of the most skilled reindeer handlers we have. I can show you the way.”

  “Don’t you want to know why I want to talk to her?” I asked.

  “Well, I imagine it’s to question her about Greasy’s death. But you don’t have to tell me everything, dear. I know I can be a little bit of a gossip at times. A
little too into people’s business. Especially people I care about.”

  “I know that everything points to Greasy’s death being a terrible accident. I just can’t shake the idea that perhaps there’s more going on.”

  “You think the glitter ball was rigged somehow?”

  “I do,” I admitted. I sounded like one of those conspiracy theorists, I was sure, but Mrs Claus was too polite to laugh at me.

  “Speaking to Lila makes sense then,” Mrs Claus said. A pick-up truck drove slowly by and Mrs Claus automatically waved. Before I realised, I’d done the same. Candy Cane Hollow really was growing on me.

  “Because of her job?”

  “Her second job. The Reindeer Run is her main work. She’s at the reindeer farm full-time. The event planning is more of a sideline, although she’s very good at it.”

  “She’d be the person who set up the glitter ball?” I asked.

  “I would expect so, but she does have helpers sometimes. You’ll have to ask her, dear.”

  We arrived at The Reindeer Run, which seemed to me to be some kind of 5-star hotel for reindeer. The whole thing was decked out in a simple, tasteful way, with rows of stables in different festive colours. Christmas music played out - for the staff or the animals, I wasn’t sure.

  The reception desk was empty, a sign propped up that declared:

  If we ain’t here, we’re with the ‘deer!

  “Shall we wait?” I asked.

  “She’ll be around. Let’s go and find her,” Mrs Claus suggested. We left the reception area and went out to explore the stables. Most of them were empty and unbelievably neat.

  Behind the stables were the fields, and in the distance I could see figures moving. Several reindeer, and one person.

  I watched in amazement as the reindeers responded to click commands, as if they were well-trained dogs!

  One reindeer weaved in and out of some candy canes, another lay down, rolled over, then jumped into the air and did something resembling the splits. A trio of reindeer performed an identical dance routine, complete with a jazz hands finish.