Secrets From the Grave (The Veil Diaries Book 6)

by B. L. Brunnemer

  I rolled over again and looked out the window. Ethan. Zeke. Miles. Isaac. Asher. What did I want? I scoffed at myself. I didn’t want to hurt anyone. Could I choose? Could I really choose? My heart ached as my eyes burned. No. I don’t think I could.

  There was a knock on my door.

  I turned on the light on my nightstand and padded barefoot across the room to open the door. Zeke was leaning against the doorframe, his head hanging.

  “Zeke?”

  He lifted his head and met my eyes. His bags were deep as he struggled to focus his eyes on me. “I... I need it to stop.”

  “What?” I opened the door further so he could come in.

  He looked at my room, blinked and shook his head. “I need it to be quiet...”

  Shit, he sounded drunk. He must be more sleep deprived than I thought. I didn’t understand what he was saying about quiet but... His eyes were almost closed, he swayed in the doorway. “Okay. Come in before you fall down.”

  He thought about it for several heartbeats then nodded. He pushed away from the door and staggered a little to the bed. I closed the door as he sat down on the edge.

  His head was hanging again as I walked up to him. “What’s going on?”

  He lifted his head, his hands reached out and pulled me to stand between his knees. He rested his forehead over my heart between my breasts. My fingers automatically began to comb through his too long for him hair.

  “Brain needs to shut off,” he muttered as he held me to him.

  “Okay, how?” I was still trying to piece together what he was saying.

  Zeke wrapped his arm under my butt and lifted me off my feet. My hands clutched his shoulders as he turned and laid me down. I was about to sit up when he stretched out beside me and all but dropped half his body over my lower half with his head resting on my belly. Okay... I started to relax under him, my fingers massaging the tense muscles of his neck. He shifted, his rough calloused fingers scraped my skin as he pushed my shirt up.

  “Whoa, whoa, whoa.” I moved to stop him but he had already stopped when the fabric reached my ribs. With his eyes closed, he rubbed his beard over my sensitive skin. I caught my breath as my heart jumped and my body gave a hard deep throb. He stopped moving, his cheek still resting against my belly. His warm breath danced across my skin raising goosebumps.

  “Thanks, Baby,” he whispered, half asleep.

  I ran my fingers through his hair and over his shoulders. “For what?”

  “Making it quiet,” he mumbled as he fell asleep on me.

  Chapter 19

  July 18th, Wednesday

  I was sitting in Miles’ living room, watching the guys play Monopoly. Sitting forward, I reached to add a player piece to the board.

  Ethan took it from me and set it back. “Sorry, Beautiful. You don’t get to play with us anymore.”

  “Since when?” I scoffed.

  “Since you kissed all of us,” Asher answered as he rolled the dice.

  “Seriously?” I gaped at them. They all nodded.

  “Until you decide who you’re going to be with, you don’t get to play,” Miles explained, not even looking up from the board.

  “I don’t want to choose…” I said, my voice small. My heart ached at the thought alone.

  “Then you don’t get to play,” Isaac moved his piece and threw down a card.

  Zeke got to his feet and pulled me to mine. Stunned, I didn’t even fight as he took me out the front door. “Until you decide, there’s no point in you being here.”

  He slammed the door in my face. Heart breaking, thunder rolled through the sky. I pounded on the door, calling their names, screaming at them. Over and over. The skin scraped off my knuckles as I hit the wood over and over.

  When my voice was gone, I sat down with my back to the door. No… this was wrong. They wouldn’t do this to me. They wouldn’t lock me out just because I was confused… They wouldn’t. Zeke would never lock me outside at night. Miles would never not let me join a game. This was wrong…

  “Interesting dream,” a familiar voice said. “Rather revealing of your insecurities.”

  I lifted my head to find Samuel standing in the gravel circular driveway, the breeze ruffling his hair. “What are you doing here?”

  He grinned. “That’s a good question. One, I myself am trying to answer.”

  Dread filled my heart. “Is this real?”

  His face softened as he shook his head. “It’s a dream. You’re safe, asleep in your bed in New Orleans.” He looked over Miles’ house. “As to why I’m here, I am at a loss.” He met my eyes. “This shouldn’t be happening. I didn’t drink from your vein and I’m neither ill nor trying to communicate with you. This is extremely odd.”

  My gut knotted. “Then leave.”

  He gave me a small bow from the neck. “I was about to when I noticed your distress.” He lifted his head to eye the door. “This is only your fears. Do you understand that?”

  “I know,” I bit out. “Now get the fuck out of my head and stay out.”

  He grinned. “As you wish.”

  I woke up with a start. What the fuck? What the hell woke me up? The scent of engine grease and leather surrounded me. Zeke’s nose was against my throat as he snored lightly. I was high up in the bed with my leg around his waist. My entire body was flush against his. My shirt was still up around my ribs. His forearm wrapped around me, his hand on my back with his fingers spread. I relaxed into him, the last strands of the dream fading away.

  There was no reason to get up, I didn’t have anything to do. He was still out cold and the sun was just coming up through the windows. So, I closed my eyes, relaxed and drifted under again.

  Zeke

  She made a small unhappy noise. I lifted the weight of my arm off her and turned toward her before I even opened my eyes. She was on her back, a beam of sunlight on her face.

  “Come ‘ere.” I slid my hand over her stomach to her hip and carefully pulled her toward me as I moved to my side. She moved closer, pressing herself against my chest as if she was cold. I buried my nose in her hair and held her close. I automatically shifted my knee between her thighs to keep her from scooting down. She lifted then hooked her leg around my hip, then slipped her arm around my waist and gave a contented sigh. I half grinned as I took a deep breath of rosemary. Peace settled through me. Those sharp edges inside me smoothed out a little more as I drifted there, holding her.

  Ignoring the warmth settling in my chest, I tried to remember how I got in her room. I remembered sitting in my room and realizing I was at my limit. I was going to fall asleep no matter what. That was the last thing I remembered. I squeezed her tighter and kissed the top of her head.

  Her fingers slipped under the back of my shirt and moved over my lower back.

  Instead of a night of being trapped in endless nightmares, I spent the night wrapped around her in a deep dreamless sleep. Her fingers began to brush over my scars. I stiffened.

  “Zeke?” she murmured as she slid her hand away from my back to my waist.

  “Hmm?”

  “Are you okay?” she whispered, her small fingertips stroking my jaw.

  I opened my eyes a bit and met hers. “How’d I get in here?”

  She grinned up at me, her eyes sparkling. “You knocked.”

  There was no way I came in here. The idea of sleeping next to her and possibly hurting her still haunted me. Not even if I was that out of it would I come here... “I came to your room?”

  The worry in her eyes left my heart warm. “What do you remember?”

  I ran through my memory again. “I remember sitting in my room. Realizing I was going to pass out whether I wanted to or not.” I tried to find anything else but came up blank. “That’s it.”

  She started to trace circles on my shirt over my chest. “You came to the door, knocked and told me you needed it to be quiet.”

  Quiet? What was she talking... dread filled me. Oh, fuck. I rolled on to my back, cursed and ran my
hand down my face. “What else did I say?”

  “Before or after you pushed up my shirt?” she asked in a dry voice as her hand rested on my stomach

  My stomach turned into lead. Don’t tell me I tried to... No, no way in hell. I’d never.... Needing answers, I dropped my hand and turned to her, furious with myself. “What the fuck did I do?”

  She gave me a reassuring smile. “Relax, you stopped at my ribs.”

  I sighed deeply. But I still fucking pushed her shirt up. I took her hand off my stomach, sat up and moved to the edge of the bed. Cursing myself, I looked for my boots.

  “Zeke, calm down.”

  I stopped dead as guilt ripped through me. I had to know. “Did I stop or did you have to make me?”

  The bed shifted behind me, her petite curves pressed against my back. She rested her chin on my shoulder and wrapped her arms around my shoulders, her hands resting on my chest. “You stopped. You only wanted to rub your beard on my stomach.”

  My face caught fire, I closed my eyes and hung my head. What the fuck had I been thinking? I took several deep breaths as her fingers stroked my chest in a soothing pattern. Her touch calmed me down, helped my face cool off. God, I wanted to keep her. But it wasn’t going to happen. Not with all of us wanting to be with her. I held her fingers against my stomach and took several more deep breaths. With Asher and Miles both liking her, what chance did an asshole like me have? The pathetic part was I knew. None.

  “Tough Guy,” she whispered. My heart stuttered. “How long was it since you slept?”

  I sighed. At least it was almost a different topic. “Almost since we got here.”

  “Why?” she whispered.

  How could I explain it? That I freaked out the first night here because the council had people in town? That after that I couldn’t sleep then refused to because I was too chicken shit to face the nightmares I would have? Her slight weight against my back was comforting, her touch soothing. The smell of rosemary relaxed me. Before I knew it, I was answering. “I’m losing my shit, Baby.”

  “How?”

  “Nightmares, I’ve been having them since Boulder.” I didn’t want to go into it any more than that. She wasn’t going to be mine; it was better to pull away now. Get some distance, prevent what pain I could. I patted her hands. “Don't worry, I’ll figure it out.” I took her hands off me and got to my feet.

  She sat back on her knees watching me look for my boots, chewing the corner of her bottom lip. “Zeke, talk to me.”

  I found my boots at the end of the bed and bent to pick them up. “I’m talking to my shrink. I’ll work it out.” There was no chance she’d pick me. I was too closed off, too big, too angry. I knew all the reasons it wouldn‘t happen. But that didn’t stop me wanting her.

  “Zeke.”

  I straightened and met her eyes. “You’re going to have to choose, Lexie. And I know my chances aren’t great. So... just let me keep this shit to myself.”

  Her eyes flashed. She was on her feet on the bed walking toward me. Then her hands were on my face, her lips crushing mine. My heart pounded in my chest as she dove in and snapped my control. I held her closer as I met her stroke for stroke. The taste of her only making the craving worse. The feel of her making me ache. My arms moved around her, carefully holding her to me. I took over, kissing her again and again, burning the taste of her into my mind, the feel of her into my bones. There was only her lips, her body, her touch. Until her tears fell onto my face. I pulled back, heart clenching.

  She held my face, pain burning in her eyes. “How do you know the score if I don’t?”

  I didn’t have an answer.

  “I can’t imagine my life without any of you. That means you too,” she said as another tear rolled down her face twisting my gut into knots. “So, stop telling me that you don’t have a chance.” Her lower lip trembled taking the air from my lungs.

  I reached up and cupped her face, my thumb wiping her cheek. “You can’t cry around me, Baby,” I rasped. “It makes me want to break shit.” Her fingers dug into my shirt as she lowered her head to hid her face in my neck so I couldn’t see her tears.

  “I’m sorry about everything, I know you probably don’t want me now-”

  “Don’t even... Just stop,” I growled, my temper rising to the surface. Not want her? That wasn’t even possible any more. I held her tighter, my hand going to the back of her neck. “You need to stop crying. Please?”

  She nodded against my skin and slid her arms around my neck. I ran my hand up and down her back, hoping she’d stop soon. I buried my nose in her hair and took a deep breath of rosemary. Why? Why her? The others could have anyone else. I closed my eyes as it hit me. If I couldn’t get her out of my head, how could I blame the others for the same thing? I fucking hated logic. I focused on holding her until she was calm again.

  When she was ready, she pulled back and wrapped her arms around her stomach. She seemed to shrink in on herself.

  I didn’t know what to say. We were in a shitty situation and I didn’t see us getting out of it without pain, lots of pain. I went back to looking for my boots. Finding them at the end of the bed, I picked them up. She started to get off the bed. There was a small crunch. Her eyes grew wide a heartbeat before she jumped back on the bed, cursing in a high-pitched voice.

  I dropped my boots and moved around the bed. “What?”

  She frantically started wiping the bottom of her foot off. “I fucking stepped on something furry!”

  I moved the blanket out of the way and found it. A brown fuzzy body and black leathery wings. “It’s a dead bat.”

  “What the fuck is it with all the animals?” she shouted. “Seriously, is this a New Orleans thing? Wake up with dead critters every day?”

  I bit back a grin at her indignation. Her hair was wild, her eyes sparking with her temper. One minute she was upset, and unsure. The next she was spitting fire and shouting. She made my chest burn with how beautiful she was.

  “I’ll get rid of it,” I told her, mostly to distract myself.

  “No! Leave the fucker! He can have the room!” She got off the bed and went to her bag in a huff. I couldn’t help the way my eyes followed her across the room.

  There was a knock on the door, a second later the bedroom door opened. Louis walked in already dressed for the day. “What’s with the shouting? I can hear you down the hall.”

  “I’m sick of fucking waking up with dead rodents right next to me,” she bit out.

  I bit back a chuckle as Louis came to see the bat, his face suddenly unreadable. Something about the bat bothered him, that much I could tell.

  Lexie came back toward the bedside with a towel. “I’m going to take it outside then I’m going to bath in bleach.”

  There was no way I was letting her touch that bat. I took the towel from her. “I’ll get it. You didn’t cut your foot on it or anything?”

  She shook her head. Good.

  Louis spoke up. “How long has this been going on?”

  “Since we came here,” she said absently as she went back to her bag.

  Louis’s face grew darker. He knew something. I watched him as Lexie went through her bag. The silence stretched.

  “We’re going out tonight. Meet me at the door on the third floor at ten.” Louis walked out the door and closed it behind him.

  She raised an eyebrow. “What was that about?”

  “I don’t know.” But I was going to find out. The dead bat, the dead squirrel on the balcony... Thinking, I squatted down, covered the dead bat with the towel and picked it up. I headed for the door, already working on how to get Louis talking.

  “Zeke,” she called as I opened the door.

  I sighed and turned back to her.

  She brought my boots over and handed them to me. Her eyes never met my face. “I feel the same way about everyone. That’s what got us into this mess. Well, that and me being a chicken shit.”

  It was like a blade was driven into my gut. Yeah, but t
wo of them were Asher and Miles. I was just a scary guy with serious rage and father issues. I didn’t think I really stood a chance. “We’ll manage.” I turned away from her and headed down the hall.

  “I hope,” she muttered before her door closed.

  My heart squeezed in my chest. Was she really that confused about all of us? She had to be, she’d never string someone along... What if she chooses one of the others? What the hell was I going to do then? Just say I’m happy for her? Fuck, I needed to get coffee. I glared down at the towel in my hand. And get rid of a fucking bat.

  Lexie

  I was just stepping into the back of the cafeteria line when I overheard the people ahead of me.

  “Did you hear?” One woman in scrubs asked the other. “Fifty-eight more people were admitted to the hospitals this morning.”

  “Damn, that brings the total to, what? Over a hundred?” The other asked as she reached for fresh cut melon.

  The first woman nodded. “Yeah, and now the Center for Disease Control are getting involved. Things are about to get serious around here.”

  I shook my head as I got my coffee. Everything in the city was getting worse.

  Isaac stepped up beside me. “Morning.”

  I turned and ran my eyes over him. “Hey, how did your guys’ talk go last night?”

  “We got a lot of our shit out that we’ve been holding on to,” he admitted as he refilled his coffee mug.

  “That’s good.” I picked up a small bowl of cottage cheese. “Are you guys done fighting?”

  “Yeah, I think so,” he sighed.

  “Aren’t you going to eat?” I asked as I added fruit to my tray.

  “I already ate with the guys.” He stepped around me and gestured toward where the guys were sitting at a table in the corner. Along with Luca.

  “How’s it going with the new guy?” I asked as we moved out of the line and toward the condiments

  “He’s quiet,” Isaac said.

  I raised an eyebrow. “That’s it?”