Truly Madly Deeply: Volumes 1-4

by Brenda Pandos

  “Yeah. Like a paint off.”

  My eyes Ping-Pong between the two as they banter.

  “Hmmm…” Syd taps her finger against her lips. “I’m not sure if you’re man enough.”

  “Man enough?” Logan laughs and my toes curl again. “Try me.”

  I blink at them. “Wait, what?”

  “You’re on.” Syd points at Logan. “You. Me. Half the snack shack. Winner takes all.”

  His eyes narrow. “You drive a hard bargain, Syd.”

  She glares down at his food, then back at him. “Eat up, Pretty Boy. You’re going to need your energy. See you in an hour.” She turns to me. “You coming?”

  I look at her warily, unsure of what has just happened, but know I should move my ass, or I might be frozen in this chair forever. Unable to lift myself with my knotted thighs, I lean against the table and bite back a scream. Kitty snickers behind me. She’s lucky I’m not functioning, or I might have thrown my dish at her.

  Once outside, I turn to Syd. “What was that about?”

  “Girl,” she says under her breath. “We need to talk.”

  “What?” My cheeks heat. Did she find out about my lies?

  “I’m worried about you.”

  “Worried? Why?”

  “I heard about last night.”

  I suck in a gasp. “Last night? What did you hear?”

  “Well, that you two were … you know… at the peak alone.”

  My cheeks grow even hotter. “And?”

  “Each retelling gets juicier and juicier.”

  “What?” I gasp. “We were just talking.” I glance over her shoulder at two girl counselors passing by and watching us. “Can’t people just mind their own biz?”

  Syd holds up her hands. “You’re pretty defensive for doing nothing.”

  I snap my mouth shut. “Well, considering we’re both with other people, hells yeah.”

  “Well, the more I get to know Logan, the more I see he’s dangerous. He whips out the girlfriend card whenever he’s questioned, yet acts like you’re his. It’s confusing.”

  Confusing as hell.

  “We’re just friends,” I say quickly.

  “Like I said, guys and girls can’t be friends.”

  “Sure they can.”

  “Not if one of you has feelings for the other.” She tilts her head. “Do you?”

  I bite the inside of my cheek. “No. Of course not. I love Gage.”

  My stomach lurches at my admission. Coming clean would be so much easier, yet harder at the same time.

  Syd lets out a sigh and rubs her forehead. “It’s just…I’m not questioning your loyalty, I just don’t want to see you get hurt. I know guys like this—attention whores. They’re not worth throwing your relationship away for. It’s like being with a married man. When things get real or lose their fun, they bail.”

  “Well, have you thought maybe I’m the one enjoying the distraction? He’s made a dull job fun, besides, the kids will be here soon and he’ll be busy with them.”

  “Okay, I guess so. He won’t be camping with us this weekend, and then the summer will start for real, so…”

  I touch her arm. “Let yourself off the hook for the Matt thing. You’re being a good friend, and I appreciate it,” I say with a small smile. “I’m fine. There’s nothing going on.”

  “Okay. I trust you.” She locks her arm with mine and walks with me back to Mulberry. “Come on. I’ll help with your official move to Aspen.”

  ~|~

  Three hours later, Syd leads me blindfolded out of the snack shack. Logan does a drum roll against his legs before she removes the cloth. I blink up into the bright sunlight, first catching his tight abs because he’s removed his shirt. Beyond him, the outside of the shack glimmers, now baby blue decked with white trim.

  “Oh my gosh!” I squeal. “It’s gorgeous!”

  “I’m glad you like it.” Syd wipes the sweat from her forehead. “Whoo! Covering the red was quite a task.”

  “I do have to admit. You paint fast.” Logan stands off to the side, sucking down water from his bottle. A few drops fall, trailing down his tanned chest. He steps backward and looks up at the small building. The sun catches his hair just right. “Nicely done.”

  Her lip curls in victory and she lifts her chin. “Told you.”

  I’m somewhat surprised she won. “I’m speechless. So you won?”

  She walks over and drapes her arm over Logan’s bare shoulder. “Should we tell her?”

  Logan shrugs, leaning into her. “I don’t know. I’m a little hurt she’s assuming it’s you.”

  “She’s seen how you paint. It’s not a wonder.”

  “I go for quality, not quantity.”

  Watching them banter, the flirting, the jokes, the secrets, is no different than how Logan and I are.

  “So did you or didn’t you win, Syd?” I say in fake exasperation, playing along.

  Logan finally grins. “It was pretty close.”

  “And?” I lean forward.

  “We should have had a referee,” Syd finishes.

  “No, no, no…I can’t afford you both. We need to flip a coin, or something.”

  “How much ice cream do you think I eat?” Syd huffs and pats her trim stomach.

  “Ah.” Logan lifts his finger. “Actually, you’re right. Syd won by a brushstroke. But there will be plenty of time for me to earn other favors, I’m sure.”

  Syd’s eyes narrow at his innuendo. “I didn’t win.”

  “Sure you did.” He shrugs.

  “You painted more than your fair share, admit it.”

  He laughs it off. “Fine, if you don’t want the victory.”

  I walk closer to them. “I don’t know if I’d like being in your debt, Logan.”

  “He’s harmless and only wants you for your car.” She waves her hand at him and shrugs out from under his arm. “Let’s get lunch. I’m starving.”

  “So no Drumsticks now?” I ask.

  “Later.” Syd’s voice is clipped, which means she is hungry.

  I lock the door, and take one last moment to inspect the small building. “I couldn’t have done this on my own, you guys. Thank you.”

  Logan smiles, drilling his dimples into his cheeks. “I’ll be back for that Drumstick this afternoon.”

  From the way he looks at me, I don’t think he’s talking about ice cream. The image of the chocolate toppings melting down his chest, and my tongue licking every last morsel pops into my head, sending a thrill through me.

  “Chop chop! We need to shower first.” Syd nudges my arm, knocking me out of my naughty daydream. “And we’ve got a date with Kitty this afternoon don’t forget.”

  “Kitty, right.” I’d promised Syd I’d help organize the craft room this afternoon in exchange for the paint job.

  Logan pulls on his shirt, and I miss his abs as soon as they disappear. “Sounds exciting.”

  “Lanyards, poster board paint and tie die, oh my.” Syd clicks her tongue.

  “So sorry to have to miss it,” Logan says.

  “There’s always room for more.” I wink.

  “I’ll come claim my Drumstick later. I need to pack, too.”

  My stomach drops. His big weekend with Kat. How did I forget?

  Then my thoughts return to Aspen and the dinky upstairs room no bigger than a closet, where I’ll stay with the other work staff for the remainder of the summer. I sober up. There is still a load in my car I need to move, but the thought of it makes me ache. “Yeah, me too.”

  Logan’s sappy grin distracts me, and I remember he’s staying on the guy’s side during his rotation next week. My stomach renews with flutters. We’d be working together all week—the perfect excuse to hang out—and mother Syd won’t be able to flap her wings and stop us. I just have to survive the weekend first.

  Shoot me.

  CHAPTER TEN

  After squeezing everything we can into Syd’s trunk, we drive out of the parking lot at 10AM on
the dot Saturday morning.

  “Freedom!” Syd yells from the sunroof as she lifts her hands toward the sky.

  “Hey, nine and three.” I point to the wheel.

  Syd puts her hands down. “I’m a very good knee driver.”

  “That’s what I’m afraid of.” I crane my neck to look behind us. Matt and Kitty follow directly behind in his Toyota truck, and somewhere at the end of the caravan, Logan is with Dirk as a passenger, and I’m still bummed about it.

  Yesterday at lunch, Syd put me on the spot and invited me to ride together in her two-seater when Logan was in earshot, ruining my plans of driving him home myself. There’d be no last minute infusion of his attention that’s become my drug. After leaving the sanctity of Redwood Springs, my stomach begins to hurt. I refuse to let my imagination run wild with his extra-curricular plans and mess with the radio instead.

  “Nervous much? Here, let me.” Syd knocks my hand out of the way and turns it to a local alternative station.

  “What do you mean?” I bite my lip, knowing exactly what she means. This is insane. Why is meeting Kat bothering me? I knew this day would come. Heck, I knew he was taken.

  “You know what I mean, you can’t keep still, and I think I know what’s bothering you.”

  “Nothing is bothering me.” I shove my betraying hands into my pockets and look out the window. Kat felt like my competition.

  Syd lowers her head to look over her sunglasses. “You’re the worst liar.”

  I sink into the seat. For the most part, I’m a great liar, except when it comes to matters of the heart. “Logan and I are just friends.”

  “As you keep saying. But I think it’s because you want to convince yourself, and not me. I understand. Feelings are a bitch.”

  “What?” I gasp. “I think of him like a brother.”

  I wonder if Logan would have the same reaction if he were to meet Gage. He most definitely wouldn’t approve of how he treated me, that's for sure. Maybe I’d get lucky, and find she’s a royal bitch who’s suffocating him. Or maybe he’s looking for a way out. I can only hope.

  Ugh. I stop the thoughts immediately. This is exactly what Allie did to me, and if I broke them up, I’d be no better than the skank.

  “So answer me this. If you weren’t dating other people, would you two hook up?”

  “What?” I laugh. “What kind of question is that?”

  “Questions you’ll be asked around the campfire tonight.” She keeps a straight face for all of two seconds, then a wry smile appears. “Just saying. You better be prepared.”

  “I don’t need to prepare. There’s nothing there.”

  “Maybe after a few shots of my truth serum, you’ll spill.” She laughs.

  I raise my brows. “Truth serum?”

  “Yup. Goldschläger is the gateway to everyone’s secrets.”

  “How’d you get that?”

  “I have my ways.”

  I roll my eyes. Though I’d assumed people would bring liquor, I hadn’t planned on drinking. With Mom and her history, I avoid liquor at all cost, but this time the idea intrigues me, which is frightening. What if Logan had some truth serum, just the two of us? Would he fess up?

  “I wouldn’t mind ten minutes in the dark with Brady.”

  I snort and almost shoot the sip of water I’d just taken out of my nose. “Brady?”

  He is cute, yes, but lanky and has a bad habit of clearing his throat all the time.

  “Just being honest. I’m taken, but I’m not dead.” She grins evilly at me. “I’ve seen you check out Kellan.”

  Kellan smells like BO most of the time. “No I don’t.”

  Syd rattles off the entire list of available counselors and kitchen staff, who consisted mostly of sixteen-year-olds. “Ewww! That’s sick and wrong.”

  “Just checking.”

  Logan’s talk about me being older and scary came to mind.

  “You just like the unavailable ones, ‘cause they’re safe.”

  “I like Gage.” Actually, Gage had been aloof and unreadable until I pretty much jumped into his lap and forced him to ask me out. “And I’m cool with meeting Kat. Okay?”

  “Okay.”

  After a two-hour ride and a quick trip to the grocery store, we turn off the highway onto a sandy unmarked road. Unknown to me at the time, Dirk had dropped Logan off while the rest of us shopped for food, and he’s now the lead car. The row weaves around a skinny trail just wide enough for one car to traverse.

  “Great, I think I hear the Dueling Banjos from Deliverance playing.”

  Syd punches me in the arm. “Stop it. This is going to be fun.”

  Fun, right. How could it be fun when all I’m thinking about is what Logan and Kat are doing? The road finally ends and we park under the eucalyptus trees. Beyond, I can spot patches of blue. We unload and drag our stuff to the edge of the cliff.

  “Holy crow,” Syd says as her feet stop.

  Beyond us, the aqua waves crash onto the large rocks protruding out of the surf like statues to God. Logan is right. This is the place to be. “Amazing.”

  “Last one to the beach is a rotten egg,” Kitty says as she runs past.

  “Who says that anymore?” I say to Syd under my breath.

  “She’s channeling her inner high schooler,” Syd whispers.

  I laugh, then bundle my sweatshirt around myself, and lug my bag to the sandy beach below, relieved my legs aren’t as stiff anymore. We plop everything by a circle of rocks. Dirk piles up firewood nearby.

  “Make a fire, Dad,” Syd says while chuckling, then she flashes a wink at me.

  I wrinkle my nose. How can she call me on flirting when she does the same thing?

  “You got it,” he says.

  After a glorious afternoon of hunting for shells and examining the sea life, the sun sets in a glorious spray of oranges and pinks. I watch it in awe, missing Logan something fierce.

  “If I were a mermaid,” I say with my arms raised, yelling over the wind. “This is where I’d live.”

  I’d find Logan on his surfboard, drag him under, kiss him and enchant him with underwater breath. He’d be mine and we’d live forever under the waves.

  Syd laughs and shakes her head. “I know what you need.” She pulls the bottle of Goldschläger from a paper bag and sloshes it. “Truth or dare.”

  I look at the pretty bottle with gold flecks floating inside it, and something calls to me.

  “Give me that.” If anyone needs to escape, it’s me.

  After we both take a few slugs off the bottle, sweet happiness settles in, and we wander back to the fire. Somehow, I end up sitting next to Dirk.

  “I was really an ass to you, and I’m so sorry.”

  Dirk chuckles. “We were young. It’s no big deal.”

  “Nooo. Don’t let me off the hook so easily. I was horrible to you. Hor-r-r-ible”

  “Have you been drinking?”

  “What? Me?” I try to laugh and a snort comes out instead.

  “Yes, you.”

  “Is this going to be a lecture? ‘Cause I’m not in the mood.”

  Dirk tips his head. Does he know I’m underage?

  “Fine. Busted.”

  “Mad. I’m not here to bust you.”

  “Really? Good.” I lean against his arm. “Why aren’t you… drinking?”

  “I just… don’t. Long story.”

  I suck in a breath. My filter is way off now. “Is it ‘cause you’re the big bossman?”

  “No.”

  “Sorry. That was rude.”

  “No worries. I just don’t drink.”

  I pinch my eyes into slits. I wonder what he’s hiding. Does he have family demons like I do? “You’re a hard nut to crack.”

  “I could say the same about you.”

  I let out a long sigh. Inebriated as I am, there is nothing stopping me from spilling everything about Gage. It would be better than accidentally saying something about Logan, but I have enough sense all of a sudden
to keep quiet.

  “My boyfriend is an ass,” I say.

  Dirk puts his arm around my shoulder and squeezes. I like the warmth, and lean into his chest. “Sorry, Maddy.”

  “Why are you sorry? You didn’t do anything.”

  “I’m sorry you have to put up with that. You don’t deserve it.”

  I laugh. “You don’t know what I deserve. I’m not a good person, Dirk.”

  Confessing feels natural, and good. I just want to be myself with people, to let them see the real me.

  He hums. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re working at a summer camp for peanuts, as a favor to Marge, from what I hear. That’s honorable.”

  I snort. “It’s all crap,” and blackmail. “You don’t know the half of it.”

  “So you and Logan aren’t—” Dirk stiffens and lets me go. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”

  “Just to be clear, Logan and I are friends.” My voice is harder than I like, but I can’t help myself. “Sorry. I’m just tired of everyone assuming something that’s not true. And I know people are talking about me. Everyone here flirts. It’s called being friendly.”

  “No one is accusing you of anything,” Dirk says calmly. “I’m glad you’re good friends. Everyone needs that, I just wondered if that’s it.”

  “Nothing is happening.” Courage burns through me, and I wobble to my feet. “Hey, guys! Just so we’re clear! I know you’re all talking behind my back, but Logan and I are just friends!”

  Everyone stops talking and looks up at me, wide-eyed.

  “Mad, no one is talking behind your back,” Syd says.

  “Yes. They are,” I continue. “You all think we made out or something at Devil’s Peak, but nothing happened. Okay? And once I meet the biotch—”

  “Hey, hey!” Syd appears at my side and pulls me from the bonfire. “Come on. Let’s walk this off.”

  “No!” I push her away. “I want people to know the truth!”

  “I think they know.”

  “I got her.” Dirk comes up behind me and steadies me by placing his hands on my shoulders.

  “No, Dirk. I think…”

  Then my stomach pitches a fit, and squeezes. “I don’t feel so good.”

  Dirk lets me go, and before I know it, Syd has me leaning over a group of rocks, and I lose my lunch. Instantly, I feel better, but somewhere in the distance I can hear Kitty’s annoying cackle.