Truly Madly Deeply: Volumes 1-4

by Brenda Pandos

  I turn to him. Fire lights his green eyes and I’m suddenly terrified if I stay in the truck, he’s going to abduct me.

  “No.” I squirm out of his grasp and jump from the cab, almost falling on my face.

  He skids to a stop. I run the best I can in my heels in the opposite direction.

  “Maddy!” he yells, and throws the truck into reverse.

  “Leave me the hell alone!”

  “Madison, come on.” He drives next to me. “Get in.”

  Cars drive up from behind him and honk. He angles over and parks on the side of the road.

  “No!”

  “This is your last chance.”

  Freedom is here; it’s in my grasp.

  “Get the hell out of my life, Gage!” I scream, and flag down the car pulling up from behind him.

  His tires skid and within moments, the blue truck chugs out of sight.

  The person in the car slows and rolls down the window. He’s an older gentleman with greying hair at his temples. His eyes canvas my body, making me shiver. “Need a ride?”

  I swallow and back away. “No, I’m fine. Thanks.”

  His smile fades, and he calls me a derogatory name before he speeds off.

  My heart pounds. I’d never told Gage off before, not like that. I feel victory, yet fear he’ll return and run me over.

  Numb from the exchange, I start to walk back to camp. After an hour, blisters form on my feet as I hobble along the rocky gravel, but I can’t take off my shoes. I’m late for helping with dinner and I wonder if anyone is worried about my absence. The sun begins to set, and I’m still several miles away. Is Logan covering for me? Does he think I’m off having the time of my life? Cars keep driving past and I wish I could blend into the scenery, embarrassed at how I’m dressed. Someone whistles and my heart takes off into a gallop. Thankfully they don’t stop.

  I wrap my hands around my arms to ward off the chill, but keep a lookout for Gage. Knowing him, he’s watching me suffer from the shadows and enjoying every minute of it.

  My cheek is throbbing and I’m worried it’s bruised. How am I going to explain this?

  Eventually, the moonless night shrouds me, and I’m somewhat thankful for the cover as I stumble along on the side of the two-lane highway, trying not to trip over boulders or fall into a pothole. My stomach growls and I’m weak with hunger. The tears keep falling down my cheeks. Though I know Gage is unpredictable, I never thought he’d ever hurt me. How could I have been so stupid?

  The cars are few and far inbetween now. Lights behind me illuminate the road, only to douse me in the dark once more. My eyes take forever to adjust, and each time my heart races, afraid someone will stop because they think I’m a working girl. Yet I wonder, is no one a Samaritan these days?

  A vehicle pulls up behind me and slows. I startle, and try to run.

  “Maddy? Is that you?”

  I turn and shield my eyes from the glare of the lights. A guy with dark hair like Logan’s pops out from the driver side and the blood drains from my legs.

  No. Not Logan. He can’t see me like this.

  “Holy shit. What happened?”

  Dirk clears the van and walks up to me. Relief rushes me. I can’t contain my grief and burst into tears. Dirk takes off his sweatshirt and covers my bare shoulders. He helps me into the passenger seat. Thankfully the interior lights don’t illuminate the cab.

  “Are you okay?”

  I sniffle and shake my head. “I’m fine.”

  “What happened? Did your car break down? Why didn’t you call someone?”

  “I… my phone is busted.” I swallow hard. “Just take me home.”

  Dirk runs around to the driver’s side and gets in. We’re pulling onto the road before I know it. Camp seems like it’s forever away, and once we arrive at the lot, I scan the dark corners for Gage’s truck, but it’s not here. With shaking hands, I pull down the visor for a mirror. There isn’t one.

  “Do you need to see the nurse?”

  “No!” I say. No one, especially not my mother’s best friend Marge, the camp nurse, can know what’s happened.

  “Maddy.”

  “Please, Dirk. I’m fine. Please don’t tell anyone.”

  He sighs. “Why were you walking on the road alone?”

  I shake my head. “I got in a fight with Gage. That’s all.”

  “What kind of a fight?”

  “I’d rather not talk about it.”

  “Did he hurt you?”

  “No.”

  “Maddy…”

  “Let me deal with my problems, okay? It’s humiliating enough.”

  We park, and he’s at my door, opening it before I can get out on my own. He lifts me by my arm and I suck in a breath at the pain.

  “You’re hurt.”

  “I’m fine.” I push past him and slip off my shoes. My feet ache, but the smooth pavement feels good. “Thank you.”

  Kids are milling about in dark clothing and multicolored glowing bands on their wrists, and I know Joe must be pissed I missed dinner. I’m probably lucky if I still have a job for all the times I’ve screwed up.

  I’ll have to deal with his wrath tomorrow. I keep my head low and sprint for Aspen with my shoes flopping from my hands. Once inside, I run upstairs and strip off my clothes in the bathroom. I want to burn the outfit.

  The warm water of the shower spills down my shoulders, but I can’t wash away how dirty I feel. A black and blue hand print mares my left bicep. I sink to the floor and cry my eyes out. My life is such a mess, and I have no idea how to fix it.

  CHAPTER SIX

  After the hot water runs to cold, I towel off and wipe the steam from the mirror. A gasp springs from my mouth at the ring of purple running across my cheek and under my eye. There’s no hiding what Gage has done to me now.

  There’s a soft knock at the door. “Maddy?”

  I startle and swivel around at Logan’s voice. My heart skips. “I’ll be out in a minute.”

  “Everything okay?”

  “Totally.” My chipper voice is grating to my own ears. “My date went longer than expected. Is Joe pissed?”

  “I covered for you, but…”

  I hold my breath. Did Dirk say something or not? If he did, I’m going to kill him. “My keys are on the dresser.”

  “It’s not that…” The concern in his voice is palatable.

  “I need to get dressed. Meet me downstairs,” I say quickly.

  “Sure.”

  His foot falls shuffle slowly away. I stare in the mirror again. There’s no amount of powder or cover-up that’s going to fix this.

  I slowly open the door to make sure he’s gone, then run to my room. After slipping on long sleeves, jeans, and flip-flops, I dust powder over my cheek bone again. No matter what I do, the bruise shows through. I fluff my hair around my face before going downstairs hoping that he won’t notice in the dark.

  The living area is brighter than I like, and the quicker we can get outside to the darkness the better. “Hey, feel like a Drumstick?”

  Logan looks up at me, then his eyes widen. “Maddy. What happened?”

  I shake my head and laugh. “It’s so embarrassing. This stupid sign jumped out at me from nowhere. I didn’t see it until it was too late.”

  “Maddy…” he sighs. “Dirk told me.”

  I try not to react. “Told you what?”

  “That he picked you up on the highway just a little bit ago. That you were walking home alone.”

  Dirk just signed his death sentence.

  “Yeah, well…” I look down. “I didn’t exactly have a good time.”

  “Maddy, did he hit you?”

  I make a face. “No. It happened when I was walking home.”

  He moves closer to me. “Why were you walking? Tell me the truth.”

  “We fought, okay?” For once I’m not lying. “It was stupid, really. I’ll be fine.”

  His eyes inspect my cheek, almost like a caress, then he starts to
breathe faster.

  I bite my lip, then play with my nails. He’s not going to let this go, but I can’t tell him the truth. I’ll lose our friendship over it, but I look like such an idiot putting up with this kind of abuse.

  I’m rescued by a knock at the door, and I rush to answer it. The door clicks open before I can leave the landing to reach it.

  “Hello? Maddy?” Syd calls through the crack as she lets the door swing wide.

  My heart plummets. Gage is standing next to her. I stumble off the landing.

  “Gage,” I breathe. “What are you doing here?”

  Logan’s head whips around to face Gage. Invisible sparks fly. The evidence Gage treats me like dirt is screaming silently from my wounds, and I don’t think Logan will let this issue die.

  I move to stand between them to stop anything from starting and keep my frame ridged in preparation to run. I’m still terrified of what Gage might do, even in front of my friends.

  The color drains from his face when he sees what’s happened to me, but of course, he doesn’t apologize. “We need to talk.”

  Syd’s eyes go wide after she joins us inside. “Holy crow! What happened to your eye?”

  She moves to touch my cheek, and I flinch and pull away. “Oh, it’s nothing. Stupid, really. I’ll tell you later.”

  Gage’s shoulders tense, then his eyes zero in on Logan as he moves protectively to my side.

  “Gage, huh?” He lifts his chin and looks down at him.

  I swallow and try to keep calm. This could quickly explode into a fight. I reassess my desire to bolt. Even though I’m petrified to be alone with Gage, if Logan and Syd don’t leave, they’ll find out the ugly truth of my lies and that’s worse than whatever wrath Gage has for me.

  I turn to Logan. “I’ve got this. It’s okay.”

  His jaw tenses.

  I shuffle forward, barely able to make eye contact, and try to shoo Gage out the door. “Let’s talk outside.”

  Syd stumbles back to give us room, but her fearful glance bounces between us.

  When he doesn’t move fast enough, I shove my shaking hands in my pockets and slide past him onto the porch. He rests his hand on my lower back to lead me. I jerk and pull away.

  Logan stands in the doorway behind Gage, bristling. “You’re not going anywhere with him, not until I find out why you have a black eye.”

  Gage turns to him and chuckles sarcastically. “What? You think I hit her?”

  Logan lifts his hands. “I’m just curious why you, her boyfriend, left her stranded on the road and why she now has a black eye.”

  Gage’s eyes flick to mine. Humor resonates deep within the irises, and I’m humiliated. He looks at my cheek, but he isn’t fazed. He has me and he knows it. “Tell them I didn’t hit you, Babe.”

  I grit my teeth, wishing I had the courage to rat him out, but I can’t chance it. “I did already.”

  The corner of Gage’s lip turns up in victory. “She didn’t want a ride back, so… that was her choice.”

  “Her choice?” Logan’s nostrils flare, and he steps onto the porch. “To walk home alone in the dark on the highway.”

  The air is charged with testosterone, and it needs defusing before someone punches someone.

  I move between them. “Look. We got in an argument, and Gage is leaving now.”

  “I need to talk to you first.” Gage tries to take my arm and I move away, bumping into Logan.

  “The lady asked you to leave, Gage.” His words are hard, but he gently takes my arm and squeezes, probably to reassure me. It’s right at the spot where Gage’s fingers had bruised me earlier. I moan softly and recoil from him.

  Logan’s face reflects my horror, then he sets his jaw. “What’s wrong?”

  “She said she’s fine.” Gage raises his voice. “Come on, Madison.”

  “She’s not fine.”

  “Stop it, you two! I can say whether I’m fine or not.” I swivel around to Logan and harden my jaw. “I’m going to walk Gage to his truck. I will be right back.”

  “Madison!” someone calls to my right.

  Dirk walks up with Brady, Matt and another male counselor. My mother’s best friend Marge, the camp nurse, trails behind them. Shoot me now.

  Gage lets out a low exhale.

  “Gage, is it?”

  “Yeah. What of it?” He eyes everyone like a caged dog.

  “Well, in light of everything tonight, I need to ask you to leave,” Dirk explains to Gage.

  “Excuse me?” He tilts his head.

  Dirk continues to walk toward him. “You can either let us escort you off the premises peacefully, or I’ll be forced to call the police. Your choice.”

  Gage’s eyes narrow. He glares at me. “What did you tell them?”

  The tears start to fall down my cheeks. Everything is falling apart. “I think you should go.”

  “I didn’t do anything to you.” He cusses under his breath and turns to walk away. “This isn’t over, Madison.”

  The counselors follow him, and I feel like I’m about to collapse. Syd rushes to my side, but I brush her away, and move to return to my cabin. I’m more than mortified. If this hasn’t secured another firing under my belt, I don’t know what else will. Either that or I need to climb under my bed and become a dust bunny.

  “Madison,” Marge says. “I need to have a look at your eye.”

  I wipe away the tears with my sweatshirt sleeve, sucking in a breath from the pain. Now everyone will know my supposed boyfriend beats me. Just great. “I said I’m fine.”

  She joins me on the porch and puts her arm around me. “Come on, sweetie. It’ll be okay.”

  Syd comes alongside me, and once we’re in Marge’s office and out of eyeshot of the others, I lose it. Oddly enough, a huge part of me wants my mom, though I know what she’ll say, considering she never liked Gage.

  “I’m sure I’m fired now,” I say while whimpering.

  “Of course not, honey,” Marge says. “Hold still.”

  She presses her fingers against the raw skin. I suck air through my teeth.

  “What happened?” Syd asks me.

  Maggie listens in curiously while she inspects my cheek. I want so badly to confess, but if I do, it’ll get back to Mom.

  “We fought, and I was so mad, I couldn’t ride in the truck with him, I decided to walk. And since my phone’s broken, I couldn’t call anyone to pick me up…”

  “But your eye.”

  “It was dark.” I pinch my eyes shut. “I ran into a sign.”

  “A sign?” Syd frowns, then bites her lip like she’s going to laugh. She quickly recovers. “I can’t believe he let you walk home and just drove off. What did you fight over?”

  I blow out a long breath. “Just stuff. It’s always something with him.”

  “You need to dump his ass.”

  I grit my teeth together and accept the ice pack Marge hands me. Maybe this is my way out. But I have no idea how my job stands now, not to mention things with Logan. Treating me like dirt looks like a walk in the park.

  “Yeah… I should.”

  “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t tell you what to do. I just think you deserve better. If Ryder ever did that to me—” Syd continues on her rant, but I don’t need to hear about her perfect relationship. The entire camp will find out once they see my eye, and I can imagine the pity looks.

  The illusion of Gage as my boyfriend worked as a safety net until he barged into my life for real and acted like himself—a fool. But with him becoming my ex officially, everything is more complicated.

  “Yeah, but Dirk kinda swooped in and stopped that from happening. Remember?” I suck in a breath as I put the ice to my eye.

  “Write the asshat a Dear John letter, then. You don’t have to talk to him in person to do it.”

  Marge clears her throat, and gives Syd the eye.

  Someone knocks at the door. “Hey, sorry to intrude.” Kitty stops talking for a second and stares at me. I turn my fac
e from her prying eyes. “Your girls are worried about you, Syd.”

  “Oh, shit.” She jumps up. “Sorry, Marge. I meant shoot. I lost track of time. Thanks for watching them, Kitty.” She smiles at me and squeezes my shoulder. “I gotta go. We’ll talk later, okay?”

  I force a smile and stand, too. “Yeah, thanks.” We hug before she darts outside.

  I thank Marge and move to leave, too. There’s no way I’m staying in her office alone for too long. She has a way of making people talk, including me. She lifts my hand so I’ll cover my eye with the ice.

  “Keep that on your eye for at least an hour. If you need anything, Maddy, you know where to find me,” Marge says.

  “Yeah, thanks.”

  On my way back to Aspen, the night air steals into my bones, making my heart race. I feel vulnerable walking alone. Gage could be waiting in the shadows, ready to pounce. I hate that he’s made me afraid. I hate everything about him.

  The creak of the step leading to the porch makes me jump, and I run inside and lock the door. None of my roommates are in the main room, like usual.

  I slip upstairs and escape in my room. A soft snore comes from the bed next to mine, startling me. I’m terrified it’s Gage, and feel for the light, then freeze when I recognize Logan’s flip-flops on the floor.

  Sitting down on my bed, I let my eyes adjust. He sleeps soundly in the dark, and I wonder why he’s here. I know I should wake him, but his presence makes me feel safe. I slip off my jeans and crawl under the covers. My heart aches with the knowledge that he could never be mine, but I accept this small token of friendship.

  He was there for me today along with Dirk, something no one’s done for me in a long time. And truly, no matter how maddening it all is, that’s all that matters, and I’ll take it until I’m fired tomorrow.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  I’m trapped, suffocating, and Gage won’t let me go. We’re drifting downward into the water. I can’t breathe. I know I’m going to die.

  “If I can’t have you, no one else will,” he whispers in my ear.

  “No!” I scream as I fight him. I’m tangled in his iron grip and I can’t break free. “No! Let go of me.”

  I suck in water and cough.

  “Maddy, it’s okay.” Logan is there, untwisting me from the sheets. My hair is drenched with sweat, and I return from the nightmare to the present. “It’s just a dream.”