Truly Madly Deeply: Volumes 1-4

by Brenda Pandos

  “Well, yeah,” and no. “I’ve just been really too busy to ask about it.”

  “I’m surprised you haven’t let Joe know. You need to, before he fills all the positions.”

  Mom turns and glares at me. Apparently, her eviction of me stands. But if Joe’s the deciding factor, I doubt with my late track record and constant drama he’ll want me around.

  Why can’t I catch a break?

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  I return to Aspen late Sunday night, sunburnt, pissed off, and exhausted. Mom and Hannah were finally off to Placerville and out of my hair. If I saw either of them anytime soon, it would be… well, you know.

  Sophie lounges on the guest bed made with her bedding, while Jordan is sitting on mine. I stop and glare at her intrusion.

  “Oh, hey.” She stands and moves to Sophie’s side.

  There’s a suitcase and laundry basket filled with stuff in the hall.

  I ignore them, unwilling to engage in small talk, and riffle through my dresser drawers, looking for clean clothes to change into. At this point all I want is a shower.

  “So we were wondering something,” Sophie says sharply.

  The hairs prickle on my neck. I don’t like the ambush. “Yeah?”

  “Would you mind bunking with Marge this week?”

  My mouth snaps shut, and I turn to them. “Yes, I would mind,” I want to say, but refrain.

  “Since you’re friends and all,” Jordan adds.

  “Uh…” Not only do I not want the headache of moving my stuff, I don’t want to be under Marge’s nose.

  “You were with her, all weekend, right?” Sophie asks.

  “She’s friends with my mom.”

  “See? It’s perfect,” Jordan says.

  My eyes lock on hers. This is absolutely ridiculous that I’m the one expected to move when this is my assigned living quarters.

  “We’ll help you move your stuff,” Sophie offers. “It’s just for a week.”

  I let out an annoyed breath. I’m done with everything. “I’m not moving out.”

  Jordan smirks. “You’re serious. Really?”

  “Fine. Never mind,” Jordan says.

  I turn and head into the hall. “Get a cot. You can both stay with Marge if she’s so great, or sleep on the couch. I don’t care.”

  “It’s fine. I’d do it for you, but whatever.” Jordan pulls the handle up on her bag.

  I roll my eyes at her dig and shut the bathroom door. They talk in the hall, loud enough for me to hear, and I’m torn apart every which way. I’m too tired to care.

  The lukewarm water burns my shoulders and freezes the rest of me, but I stay in as long as I can. Once I’m out, I breathe a sigh at the silence. After everything I’ve been through with Dirk and the rest of them, I’m not going to move to accommodate their clique. I was here first.

  I pop open the door and walk to my room, hoping to see Sophie’s stuff gone, too, but there’s no such luck. Outside, Dirk’s night game instructions echo throughout camp, and my anger wells inside me once again.

  I get dressed and tie my shoes. There’s a knock on the banister.

  “Hey.”

  I suck in a breath and turn toward Logan’s voice. Ice sluices down my spine. How long has he been standing there?

  He opens his mouth, then closes it again. “I knocked and you didn’t answer. The door was open.”

  “I was in the shower.” I turn away from him and pull a comb through my wet hair. My hand shakes from my accelerated heart rate, but I try to act cool. I can’t believe after everything, he has the audacity to ask for my car keys. “You’re not helping with the game?”

  He takes a deep inhale and leans against the doorframe, all sexy in his dark jeans and grey T-shirt, like that’s going to work on me now. “I need a break from the kids.”

  I withhold from smirking. “Yeah, I’m sure you do.”

  He glances at the two beds, but remains planted against the wall. The tension is palatable, but still, I’m unable to tell him off. “Can we talk?”

  I turn to him, heart pounding. Is he serious right now? What possibly could he say? My heart is breaking over this, but my curiosity wins out.

  “Okay?”

  He leans in, eyes fixed on me. “You were right. Things were blurred. And it was easier to blame you than be honest.”

  I blink at him, speechless.

  “I didn’t want to admit my attraction to you, because it scares me.”

  My heart does a backflip at his confession, and I lick my lips, completely confused out of my mind.

  “It wasn’t one sided, so… I’m sorry.”

  I step backward, stumbling into my dresser. “Are you being serious with me right now?”

  “Yes.” He presses his brows together.

  “But what about Friday night?”

  His eyes narrow. “What about Friday night?”

  My throat gets dry. Is he really going to make me spell it out? “The snack shack?”

  “What are you talking about?”

  I look away and swallow. Is he playing dumb, or was he seriously not there?

  “I wasn’t at the snack shack Friday night,” he continues. “I was getting some serious shut eye. Did something happen?”

  My hands start to shake. If he wasn’t with Kat, then who was? I move to sit on the bed.

  “Maddy, what’s going on?”

  My gut tightens. “I saw someone in the snack shack Friday night. I assumed you had a key.”

  “So I can swipe Drumsticks whenever I want?” He chuckles and sits next to me. “I gave them all to Dirk.”

  “Dirk,” I whisper.

  Holy crap. Is Kat cheating with Dirk? No, that can’t be right.

  “Was something missing?”

  “No.” I work to recover as the events replay in my mind, when things start to make sense. Kat chased after me Friday night, not to apologize, but to explain because she wasn’t with Logan. When I assumed it was Logan, she let things stand. “Who else would have a key to the shack?”

  “You, Joe and Dirk, I guess.”

  I let out a long exhale.

  “Why? What’s going on?”

  I try to recover, but my heart won’t stop sprinting. I have to tell him the truth. He deserves to know. But how do I tell him I caught his fiancé cheating on him with his friend, not to mention boss, and not look like I’m narking.

  “It’s nothing,” I say quickly. “After everything, I probably was just seeing things.”

  I look into his eyes, at the deception he’s in the middle of. His world is about to crumble. How hypocritical of Kat to diss my ex when she’s doing the same thing to her fiancé?

  He leans in and hugs me. My nose buries into his neck, and I suck in a tiny hopeful breath, inhaling his scent. My lips brush his skin. Please don’t let me go, Logan.

  He releases me just as I’m about to tear up in thankfulness he didn’t purposefully defile my workspace, or my heart.

  “So who’s staying with you?”

  I glance over at the guest bed, and secretly swipe the tear off my cheek.

  “Sophie, I think.”

  “Ah.” He smiles and his eyes twinkle again. “So… about that lock IOU.”

  My heart thuds hard a few times.

  His smile twists to worry. “What?”

  I look away to recover, and push past the obvious. “You’re kissing up for a Drumstick, aren’t you?”

  His shy smile returns. “You caught me.”

  “You’re nothing but trouble.” I punch him in the arm.

  He shrugs, then gestures to the door.

  I file out with him on my heels, and instead of guarding my heart like I promised myself I would do, I’m that stupid puppy dog, bounding around his feet, hoping for some attention.

  This time, though, I know if he knew the truth, he could be mine, but figuring out how to tell him will be the tricky part.

  CHAPTER NINE

  I’m awakened to rustling in the room. Th
e light is turned on, and blares against my closed eyelids. Rolling over with a moan, I pull the pillow over my head. “Sophie. It’s two in the morning.”

  She doesn’t say anything, only slams the dresser drawers several times.

  “Come on.”

  It’s quiet for a moment, then I hear the toilet flush. I get out of bed and turn off the light. Sophie returns and the bed squeaks as she settles in, but my adrenaline has officially woken me up. Within minutes she’s snoring.

  I stuff the pillow over my head, but I can still hear her. The whole world can hear her.

  “Sophie,” I say. “Soph!” There’s no response.

  I lie there, serenaded by the worst sound known to man, and my thoughts return to Logan. Who was I kidding? He’s be keeping me up, too. Tomorrow, I’m buying the strongest earplugs available. Heck, I’ll move in with Marge if I have to, anything to make it stop.

  ~|~

  The morning sun pries past my defenses. I open my eyes and look at the clock. I jolt upright in bed. It’s 8:30 and Sophie’s bed is empty.

  “Holy shit!”

  Pulling on a T-shirt and jeans, I get dressed and run to the kitchen. Like a beacon, Joe’s frustrated glare finds me immediately, and I quickly fill up my coffee mug and swish it around my teeth to hide my morning breath.

  “I was beginning to worry,” Logan says as he passes me with a tray of pancakes. My heart does a backflip, and I follow him to help.

  Jordan is standing next to Sophie, monitoring the scrambled eggs station. They’re both wearing smug smiles.

  “I’m in hell,” I say, though I don’t mean it.

  Logan follows my glare. “Against the wonder twins?”

  “Sophie had me up most of the night. Girl snores like a train.”

  “I see.”

  I yawn and lean against the wall. Syd’s gaggle of girls crowd around her, and I’m jealous for a moment. Then I catch Kat’s fearful glance. She gives me a half smile. Does she think I don’t know the truth? A sickening thrill runs through me. Little does she know she’s at my mercy now.

  “Ready for the skit today?” Logan asks.

  I startle at his voice, and straighten. “What skit?”

  He raises his brow. “The pool skit.”

  I start to mention he’d kicked me off the skit, then drop it. I don’t want to mess things up between us over something petty. “Oh, yeah. It is Monday, isn’t it?”

  He bumps my shoulder just as I yawn. I’m not sure where my pirate tank ended up after Syd used it, or if it’s clean. I’ll wear it dirty if I have to. I need a nap before lunch.

  Breakfast convenes, and I struggle with enough energy to clean up.

  “Madison.” Joe motions me over.

  “I’m sorry I was late,” I say, head lowered.

  “Let’s talk in my office.” He puts his hand on my shoulder and ushers me inside. “Have a seat.”

  He closes the door, and I know this time I’m definitely going to be fired.

  “Joe, I’m so sorry. Honest. It won’t happen again.”

  He sits behind the mound of papers covering his desk and shuffles through them. “I’m assuming from your sunburn, you had a good time with your family, yesterday. No?”

  “Yeah.” I gulp, paranoid one of the papers is my termination letter.

  “So much, you tired yourself out.”

  “Yeah, maybe.”

  He looks up at me. “It’s a rigorous schedule here at camp. It’s important you rest when you’re off work.”

  “I know. I’m trying.”

  “Try harder.” He smiles and folds his hands. “So, I heard you’re looking to stay on for the winter.”

  I blink at him. This is not what I expected. “Yeah.”

  “Is Redwood Springs an option?”

  “Possibly. I heard you have openings.”

  “Well,” he bowed his head, “I don’t know if anyone has shared with you, but the off season here is a lot different than summer. We host large conferences for a variety of guests, not just teens. The meals are more involved, and require cleanup.”

  My shoulders slump. Going from a bank teller to a snack shack wench to a kitchen grunt worker is humbling. At this point, I don’t have any other options.

  “That’s fine,” I say.

  He narrows his eyes at me, practically peering into my lying soul. “I honestly don’t think that’s your job of choice, considering… your tardiness.”

  I watch him, wide-eyed. I'm losing the opportunity, and I know it. “I—it’s just—today—my roommate—she snores.”

  His face breaks into a smile. “I see.”

  “No, really, Joe. I need this job.” My throat tightens and the tears are close. “I’ll make it up to you. You’ll see.”

  He sobers. “Actually, I was hoping you were looking for something different.”

  “Different?” As far as brushing people off, Joe’s got the science down.

  “Actually, my wife is in need of help with her day care.”

  I blink at him in shock. “And if you need room and board, we have a guesthouse in the back that’s vacant, that’s if you’d be willing to do some housekeeping in exchange for rent.”

  My stomach flips in hope. “Really?”

  “It’s not an easy job, but better than working here, I think. Plus if you’re looking to be a counselor next year, this might be some experience you need, right?” His eyes twinkle like he’s read my mind and my resume.

  “Y-yeah,” I stammer.

  “Good.” He stands, and the sunlight reflects through the window and bounces off his white coat, appearing almost to give him wings.

  I want to hug his neck, but refrain. “Thank you.”

  He rustles around in his desk drawer and pulls out a pair of earplugs. “Here.”

  I take them. “Thank you.”

  “Now that that’s settled, I think you should get out of here and take a nap.”

  “You got it.” I jump up and prance out of his office. Relief fills me. Things are finally turning around.

  Logan walks out of the linen closet just as I exit Joe’s office. “Hey, you.”

  “Hey,” I say with a grin.

  “Good news?” He holds the door open for me.

  “Oh, nothing.” I try to hide my grin. “Hey, do you plan on coming back next summer.”

  “Next summer?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Uh,” he scratches his head. “I’m not sure yet. Are you?”

  “Yeah. I’m going to apply for a counselor position.”

  “You’d make a good one, Maddy.”

  I grin at the sincerity in his voice.

  We part ways, but once I get to my room, Sophie and Jordan are hanging out on her bed, listening to music and reading my magazines.

  “Hey,” I say.

  They look up and give me fake smiles. Neither appears like they’ll be leaving anytime soon.

  I shrug and leave defeated, resigned to sleep in my car if I have to. Logan is standing on the porch with our book in his hand.

  “I, uh… was hoping you’d want to read.”

  I smile, ready to accept when Joe’s warning comes to mind. “I’d love to, but I’m so tired. I was going to go to my car and sleep.”

  “Your car?”

  “The wonder twins have taken over my room.”

  “Oh, right.” He looks upward to my window. “Why don’t you sleep at my place?”

  I blink at him for a moment. “Are you serious?”

  “What? It’s decent, I promise.”

  “No, it’s not that.” I stare at his dimples for a moment, confused at how friendly he’s being. I want to trust him, but I’m afraid he’ll get scared and ditch me again. “Who took Logan and left you?”

  He smirks. “Oh, come on.”

  I give him a helpless look.

  “Okay, okay. I deserved that. Quit the third degree.” He pulls my hand and drags me forward. “You look like you’re about to fall over.”

 
Within minutes, I’m curled up in his bed, enveloped by his scent on his sheets and pillow. My secret wish is that we can fast forward everything so he’s free to slide in next to me.

  “You good?” he asks in a husky voice.

  “Yeah,” no. Why don’t I have the balls to just ask for what I want?

  ‘Cause he’ll just hurt you again’, I hear my protective voice say.

  I close my eyes and anticipate the door to close. Instead, I hear him settle in. Pages of the book turn every so often. Is he reading? Knowing his eyes might be on me, I can’t settle down, yet I can’t look either.

  Wrought with curiosity, I peek through my eyelashes. He’s sitting on the floor next to the bed, his back to me. Then the guilt pours in. I need to tell him. I should tell him. I’d want to know. But I don’t, I can’t. I just pretend to be asleep, and listen to the pages turn, wishing and praying that somehow the truth will come out, and that he’ll eventually be mine.

  CHAPTER TEN

  I wake up just in time for lunch. Logan isn’t in the room, which is a good thing. My breath could kill small children. With the emergency toothbrush and paste I keep in my backpack, I slip into the bathroom and cringe. The housekeeping of the male occupants leaves much to be desired.

  “Hey,” Logan says behind me.

  I startle as I spit and almost drop my toothbrush into the sink.

  “Hey.” I wipe the back of my lips with my sleeve.

  “I thought I heard you get up.”

  I rinse my toothbrush and turn to him. “We need to get to work. I can’t be late.”

  “You know you’re his favorite.” He just smiles down at me, and doesn’t move out of my way.

  I bite my lip. Trapped in his gaze, my insides zing. I want to be Logan’s favorite, every day. Responsibility kicks in. With the new job on the horizon, I don’t want to press my luck with Joe.

  I squeeze around him, and get my backpack from his room. “You’re lucky you get your own room.”

  “Dirk takes care of his own.”

  I huff, but don’t voice my suspicions that he’s out to get me.

  We open the dining room doors and hit a wall of tantalizing barbeque smells. My stomach rumbles, but since my waistline has expanded, I plan to skip the hamburger and make a salad instead.