Ruthless Love

by Bloom, Penelope

  He shot me a glare, then scooped up his beer. “Five minutes,” he said. “And I expect to find you right where I’m leaving you.”

  I gave him a mock salute. Once he was gone, I dumped the remains of my beer in the sink. I didn’t want to look like a wuss, but I really didn’t want to get drunk in a situation like this, either. I grabbed the countertop and started slinging myself across the tiled floor in the office chair. It was kind of fun, and I was making pretty good progress until Cassian stepped in front of me.

  “Hey,” he said.

  It was pathetic, but I had to resist the urge to scream for help. Instead, I made myself stare right up at him. I didn’t want him to see that he scared me.

  “Do you need something?”

  “Here,” Cassian said. He fished out a stack of hundred-dollar bills from his pocket and extended it toward me.

  “What’s this?”

  “It’s for that camera.”

  I waited for him to say more, but he just tried to set the money in my lap. I pushed myself back. “I don’t want your money. Tristan already got me a new camera.” Granted, he might have stolen the thing, but it still counted.

  “Take the fucking money.”

  “I don’t want your money. Apology not accepted, if that’s what this is supposed to be.” I tried to move past him.

  Cassian threw the money at me, making it explode in a flurry of bills.

  I brushed it off my lap and pushed myself to the bathroom, ignoring how silly I probably looked in the office chair.

  When I got back to the kitchen, Tristan was just coming back in from outside.

  “How did that go?” I asked, trying to sound casual.

  Tristan was looking at me strange. He reached toward my chest. I was about to slap at his hand, but then he plucked a hundred-dollar bill from my shirt that I hadn’t noticed. “Saving this for later?”

  I sighed, then explained what had happened with Cassian.

  For once, the fact that Cassian had talked to me didn’t seem to send Tristan into a flying rage. He just cracked open two more beers and handed me one. “You really do bring out a different side of people, don’t you?”

  “If you mean a tendency toward spiteful, hateful things? Yes. It seems like I do.”

  Tristan tilted his head back and chugged the last of his drink, setting the bottle down with a clink. “Nah. Definitely not what I meant. C’mon, though. Let’s go play saucy suits.”

  “No way.” I wasn’t sure if it was just the alcohol in my system, but part of me was a little tempted by the idea. Except the risk of getting paired up with Gage or Cassian was too much. Oddly, even the thought of matching with Logan didn’t feel right—like he was more of a brotherly figure. That could’ve been the fact that he was such a man-whore I couldn’t ever imagine him settling down to be someone’s boyfriend.

  Or maybe Tristan’s dark spell was just falling over me.

  “We’re playing,” he said, grabbing the armrest of my chair and dragging me toward the living room. I spun crookedly behind him, nearly slamming into a wall but he swerved me at the last second.

  Cassian was making out with Tia when we came into the living room. Logan was sitting behind Abbie, giving her a shoulder rub and laughing about something. Both Gage and Haisley were absorbed in their phones. Everyone but Cassian and Tia looked up when we came into the room.

  Tristan sat in a chair, pulling me right beside him. “Let’s play saucy suits.”

  Gage perked up. “Yeah? Alright.”

  Cassian peeled himself away from Tia, watching Gage split up the cards with vague interest.

  He dug through the deck, pulling all the kings and queens. He split them into two piles: kings for the guys and queens for the girls.

  “Sorry,” I said. “I really don’t—”

  Tristan shot me a look. He leaned in, whispering so only I could hear him. “Just play along. I’ve got it handled.”

  I crinkled my eyes in confusion, but he looked so confident. I wasn’t even close to understanding, but I decided I could always back out of something I wasn’t comfortable with. It was just a game, and I could always walk or roll away as the case may be. With my escape plan in place, I sat back and let them start.

  “I’ll deal,” Tristan said.

  Gage paused for a second, then shrugged, letting Tristan grab the cards. “Oh shit, one second. I forgot my beer in the kitchen.”

  I watched him closely, like an audience member trying to figure out how a magic trick is performed. But all he did was set the two decks down on the coffee table before he left. We all waited in awkward silence for a few moments until he came back. He set his beer down beside the cards, accidentally knocked it down, and cursed.

  “Nice one, QB,” Cassian said. He looked to Tia, who was grinning along with him.

  Gage’s focus drifted back to his phone. Logan stretched out, groaning in comfort as he and Abbie cuddled on the couch. But I never took my eyes off Tristan, who produced eight new cards from his sleeve and tucked the cards that had been on the table in his pocket.

  A few seconds passed, and nobody said anything.

  “Alright, here we go,” Tristan said, tossing the wet paper towels he’d used to clean the mess off the table to the side. He walked around the group, handing everyone a card. I noticed he and I both got the last card in each hand. “Everyone look at your cards, but don’t show them to anyone.”

  I had a queen of hearts. I would’ve bet my life on the fact that Tristan had a king of hearts as well. Maybe that should’ve made me mad, but I only found myself oddly charmed by the effort his little stunt entailed. That, and the lengths he’d gone to in order to be sure I wouldn’t match with the other guys.

  “So what are we doing with our partners?” Logan asked. “Foot rub?”

  Gage made a dismissive sound. “Clothes off.”

  Cassian rolled his head back. “I’ve already seen Abbie and Tia naked. That’s only going to be exciting if I get Haisley.”

  I tried not to take offense to that. I didn’t want anyone here to see me naked, but it was still a little insulting.

  “Kiss,” Tristan said.

  Logan raised an eyebrow, tilting his head. “Kind of tame, by your standards. Isn’t it?”

  “Whatever,” Logan said. “Works for me.”

  “Fine,” Gage said.

  Cassian threw his hands up. “I’m outvoted either way. Kiss it is.”

  “Cards,” Tristan called.

  Everyone set down their cards. Cassian and Abbie had spades. Logan and Tia had clubs. Haisley and Gage had diamonds. And sure enough, Tristan and I both had hearts.

  Logan gave Abbie a playful slap on the ass when she got up to go to Cassian, who led her to another room by the hand. Tia bit her lip, clearly pleased with who she’d been paired with. Her and Logan headed outside to the patio. Haisley looked at Tristan like she was about to burst into tears, then rushed outside by herself.

  Gage threw his hands up, rolled his eyes, and pulled his phone back out.

  I watched after Haisley, realizing she’d been the only one who hadn’t seemed distracted by Tristan’s little stunt. I wondered if she’d figured out that he rigged the game, too. Had she been expecting him to rig it so the two of them would kiss?

  I was still trying to figure that out when Tristan started pushing my chair toward the stairs. He picked me up and started carrying me upwards, maybe toward his room.

  “I don’t know, Tristan. I don’t think I’m halfway drunk enough for this.”

  “I don’t want you drunk,” he said.

  “I mean this is a bad idea.”

  “Good. The bad ones are the most fun.”

  “Stop,” I said, finally getting him to pause outside his room. “That first time… It was a mistake. I was confused, and it just happened.”

  He didn’t move at first, then he kicked open his door, shouldered it shut behind us, and set me down on his bed. His eyes were like blazing coals as he yanked a chair f
rom his desk and sat across from me. “You want this as much as I do.”

  I raised my eyebrows, scooting back a little. “I don’t know what I want.”

  “I do.”

  I shook my head. “Tristan, just because some silly game said we should—”

  He climbed on the bed, pushing me back with a single finger to the center of my chest. I fell back, head spinning slightly from a combination of alcohol and dizziness.

  “All you have to do is say ‘stop.’” His lips brushed my earlobe, igniting the nerves all down my neck. “Or ‘no,’” he whispered, lips skidding along my jawline now.

  I thought of the way glaciers break apart—like those clips on nature shows where a giant shelf of ice splits free suddenly and without warning, crashing into the ocean. All it took for thousands of tons of immovable ice to come crashing free was a single crack. One small fissure that grew and grew beneath the surface. Listen closely enough, and you’d hear the echoing cracks across the water. A chance look. Maybe a whispered phrase. The way his hand brushed against my neck when he was getting me into my chair. Each little moment drove the crack deeper and deeper, until the moment was inevitable.

  Tristan brought his lips to the tip of my nose, kissing me there. “Or you could say ‘fuck off.’”

  I grabbed him and pulled him down to me, finding his lips with mine. He kissed me carefully at first, like he was afraid of breaking me. But I didn’t want his worry—not now. I gripped a fistful of his shirt and pulled him down harder, drawing a satisfied groan from Tristan that vibrated through his mouth and into mine.

  He kissed me like he was hungry. Like each time our lips brushed together, it only made him more ravenous.

  His tongue disappeared inside my mouth, more hot and velvety than the sweetest dessert.

  I hadn’t realized his hips were resting between my legs until his body started to move against me. I felt something hard between my legs, stirring up an explosion of warmth that started in my belly and melted downward, spreading pleasantly until my whole body was singing with the sensation.

  We kissed like that, bodies writhing together unashamed, seeking pleasure wherever we could find it. I was caught off guard when the pleasant feeling between my legs reached a fever pitch. A moan slipped from my lips, muffled by his mouth. My eyes squeezed shut, flittering uncontrollably as my body tensed. I dug my fingertips tight into his hard body, knotting my hands in his clothes as I trembled all over.

  I finally laid back, eyes wide and gasping for breath.

  Tristan was watching me carefully. His eyelashes looked so long and thick up close like this. Every graceful curve and sharp line of his face was like a masterpiece I could get lost in, and I could hardly believe I’d just been making out with that.

  “Can’t say I’ve ever made a girl come with a few kisses before.”

  My face felt red hot. “I don’t think—”

  He ran a playful fingertip down my cheek, making me shiver all over. “I could get used to that.”

  Tristan began lifting the hem of my shirt, but before I could decide if I was going to try to stop him, I heard a sound that made my blood run cold.

  “Kennedy! Kennedy Stills! Come out here, because God so help me if I have to come in there it’s only going to be worse!”

  The sound was muffled, but there was no mistaking it. My mom was standing outside Tristan’s house.

  24

  Tristan

  Kennedy didn’t show up at school after her mom dragged her away from my place. I tried shooting her a text but got no response. I even broke my own rule and sent a second text, which also got nothing.

  By the time I was done with practice, I couldn’t think about much else. So I made my way to the old oak tree by her house that was quickly becoming familiar. I took the slight leap of faith, landed, and made my way to her window. I tapped as quietly as I could, because her mom’s car was in the driveway.

  Kennedy’s curtains were drawn, so I wasn’t sure if she’d heard me until I saw a dark shape behind them. She pulled them aside, looking tired as hell.

  When she pulled the window open, she put a finger over her lips, then pointed downstairs. I nodded, keeping my voice low.

  “You’re alive,” I said. “That’s a start.”

  “Barely.” Kennedy’s hair was plastered to her sweaty forehead. She looked pale, too.

  I ran my finger across her face, pushing the hair out of the way. She flinched back at first from my touch, then gave me a small smile. “I think my mom wants to burn your house down, for the record.”

  “What’s going on? Are you sick?” Her head had felt like it was on fire.

  “Yeah. My mom has me taking some new meds and she said this was normal, but it’ll pass in a couple days.”

  “You ever consider just… not taking the medicine?” I asked.

  “Not really. Mom says it’s the only thing keeping all my conditions in check.”

  “But she has never let you see a real doctor about these conditions, right?”

  “My mom is a nurse.”

  “Yeah, I remember. What’s the worst that could happen, though?”

  Kennedy looked slightly disgusted. “I don’t know. One of my conditions could kill me?”

  “Fair point. What if you just cut out a couple pills at a time. Figure out which ones are giving you the shittiest side effects and start taking them again if you start to feel weirder.”

  “That sounds really dangerous.”

  I shrugged. “If the alternative was being stuck in a wheelchair with a fever and whatever else you have going on, I’d say a little danger is a small price to pay.”

  Kennedy looked thoughtfully to the pill bottles by her vanity. “I’ll think about it.”

  For the rest of the week, I made a routine of bringing takeout to Kennedy’s after practice and sneaking it in her window. For an overprotective nurse, her mom did a really terrible job of looking after her. So, I filled in where I could.

  I brought her chicken noodle soup. I hardly ever got sick, and when I did, I never wanted to eat anything. But Kennedy seemed to appreciate the food. It also gave me an excuse to hang around in her room.

  Two days later, I let myself in while she was still sleeping. I figured if she didn’t want me to come in, she would’ve kept her window locked. Then I noticed she was lying in bed with the covers down to her thighs. She was also wearing a long t-shirt and a pair of dark blue panties, which I could clearly see because her shirt had ridden up above her belly button.

  A decent guy would’ve looked away, or maybe pulled up the covers. I never pretended to be a decent guy, so I enjoyed the view, feeling my dick harden. Kennedy was the first and only girl who had ever tried to hold me to a higher standard. Maybe that was what kept drawing me back to her. She was like the only fucking mirror in the world clear enough to show me what a piece of shit I was.

  Maybe that should’ve scared me away, but I liked the sting of it—of seeing who I really was.

  After I’d had my fill, I kicked the foot of her bed. “I brought some subs. You hungry?”

  She groaned, sat up, and then looked down, hastily pulling her shirt down. She shot me a questioning look. I responded with a shit-eating grin and a nod. I deeply enjoyed watching the red creep into her cheeks.

  “The window as unlocked.”

  “Yeah, well, you could’ve—”

  “I did wake you up,” I said, shrugging. “Want help with your essay, or not?”

  Once she recovered from her irritation with me, she got a strange look on her face, setting her feet on the ground.

  “What?” I asked

  “Watch this.”

  Kennedy didn’t just stand. She hopped to her feet, spreading her arms and biting back a smile. I stared for a few confused seconds, realizing she wasn’t swaying or looking faint.

  “Holy shit,” I got up, squeezing her in a hug and lifting her. Her small body felt so fucking good in my arms, and it took all I had in me not to throw he
r on the bed right there and get a repeat performance of what we’d started in my bed—except this time we wouldn’t be interrupted.

  Kennedy pushed me back though, sitting back down as her expression fell. “I don’t get it, though.”

  “You stopped taking some of the meds, right?”

  “Yeah.”

  “There’s nothing to get, then. The dizziness was a side effect. So you can ditch the chair now if you stay off that pill. What about your other symptoms?”

  “The usual stuff. Tired all the time. Achy. Weak. But I can walk,” she added with a bright smile. “It’s so crazy. The last time I could do this… I was probably like, eight years old. I still remember when the dizziness first started, because it was just a few weeks after I tried to run away.”

  I crossed my arms, leaning against her dresser. “Sweet, innocent Wheels making a run for it? I call bullshit.”

  She flashed a smug smile, flicking her eyebrows up. “Nope. I really did. I had this crazy dream that my dad was back. And I—” She trailed off, picking at her fingernail in her lap.

  “Where’d he go?”

  “Not sure. Mom doesn’t really give me details on that, either. I just know he left when I was five. Mom says he’s looking for us, but that it’s really important he doesn’t ever find us.”

  “Sounds like she keeps a lot from you.”

  Kennedy nodded. “She’s just trying to protect me.”

  “Yeah, well, hold on to something too tight and you’ll end up suffocating it.”

  “Ironic, coming from you,” she said.

  I chuckled. “Last time I checked; I’ve given you two outs. Once in my car. Once on the bed.” I lowered my voice. “But you and I both know you don’t want to be let go.”

  She made a sound between a cough and a choke, shifting uncomfortably on the bed.

  “I started telling people at school you’re my girlfriend, by the way.”

  Kennedy’s eyes bulged. “Isn’t that kind of thing supposed to be a two-way agreement?”

  “I mean, we made out on my bed and you came. If you weren’t my girlfriend, that would be a scandal, wouldn’t it?”