A Seat by the Hearth

by Amy Clipston

  When he looked back down at the newspaper, her shoulders tightened with anger.

  “I want to thank you for building the swing set for Ethan,” she began. “He really enjoys it.”

  Dat mumbled something that sounded like “gut” while keeping his eyes on his newspaper.

  “Dat, look at me,” she pleaded. She nearly faltered at the thread of desperation in her voice.

  He kept his focus on the newspaper as if she were invisible.

  “Don’t ignore me,” she insisted. “I’m your dochder.”

  His eyes snapped to hers, and his face clouded with a scowl. “You stopped being mei dochder the day you left this community.”

  His words speared her, like a knife piercing her heart.

  He returned to reading as if he hadn’t just inflicted pain.

  “Did you ever consider that you could be the reason I left?” she snapped. Swallowing back a burning knot of sobs, she fled up the stairs. When she reached her bedroom, she stepped inside, closed the door, and wilted against it as tears streamed from her eyes.

  “There’s a voice mail message for you.”

  Priscilla looked up from her sewing machine the following morning. She faced her mother in the doorway as dread washed over her, locking her muscles. Had Trent found them?

  “Why are you looking at me like that? You should go listen to it.” Mamm nodded toward the hallway. “You’re going to be excited.”

  “Who is it?” Priscilla held her breath.

  “Laura.”

  “What did she say?”

  “Just go listen to it.” Mamm grinned and then disappeared from the doorway.

  Breathing a sigh of relief, Priscilla finished the stitches on the quilt she’d been repairing and then headed outside.

  She breathed in the humid air as she descended the back porch steps and trekked toward her father’s office in the largest barn. She looked over at the pasture and spotted Mark leaning forward on the split-rail fence as he stood beside Ethan and gestured toward where her father was training a horse. Mark smiled as he said something to Ethan, who nodded in response, his face serious as if he were concentrating on what Mark told him.

  Ethan looked over his shoulder at Priscilla, and his face broke into a smile as he waved. “Hi, Mamm!”

  “Hi, Ethan!” Priscilla waved in response.

  Ethan stood up straighter and pointed to Mark. “Mark is teaching me about horse training!”

  Mark glanced at her, smiled, and shrugged. “Your dat is really the expert. I’m still a student.”

  “That’s nice. Danki, Mark.” She smiled.

  Something in Mark’s smile changed, and it seemed more genuine and tender. She took in his attractive face, tall stature, and broad shoulders, and heat infused her cheeks. He truly was a striking man, and she appreciated his kindness and patience toward her son. If only her life were different, maybe she could consider him a trusted friend. But how could she trust another man? She couldn’t take that risk with Ethan or with her heart.

  Mark nodded before he and Ethan turned back to the pasture, and she hurried into the barn, its aromas greeting her as she walked to the office. She picked up the phone’s receiver, dialed the voice mail number, entered the code, and retrieved Laura’s message.

  “Hi.” Laura’s voice sounded through the receiver. “This is Laura Lambert. I’m calling for Priscilla. Priscilla, I want to invite you and Ethan to join my family and me for supper tomorrow night. It will be a lot of fun, and we’d love for you to come. We’d like to eat around five thirty. I hope to see you both there. Let me know if that works. Danki!” She left her phone number, and then the line went dead.

  Priscilla sank onto a stool as she considered her response. While she’d love to join Laura and her family for supper, she also didn’t want to be subjected to eating at a separate table. Laura hadn’t isolated her at the quilting bee, but a family dinner would be different. How embarrassing would it be to go to supper at a friend’s house and be ostracized because she was still shunned? No, now wasn’t the time to socialize with friends. As much as she wanted to spend time with Laura, she’d have to wait.

  She dialed the number and, feeling like a coward, hoped to get voice mail so she wouldn’t have to hear the disappointment in her friend’s voice when she turned down her invitation.

  After a couple of rings, Allen’s voice came through the phone. “You’ve reached the Bird-in-Hand Carriage Shop. We sell, restore, and repair buggies. The shop is open Monday through Friday, eight to five, and Saturdays, eight to noon. Please leave a message, and I will call you back as soon as I can. Thank you.”

  After the beep Priscilla began to speak. “Hi, this message is for Laura. This is Priscilla. Thank you so much for your invitation, but we’re not going to make it for supper tomorrow night.” She picked up a pencil and absently drew circles on a notepad. “I’m backed up with sewing projects, and I need to get them completed so the customers can have them. Danki for inviting me, but maybe Ethan and I can come another time. Talk to you soon. Bye!”

  When she walked by the pasture, Ethan and Mark waved again. She entered the house, climbed the stairs, and took her place at the sewing machine.

  She was finishing up the quilt repair when Mamm came and sat on the chair beside her table.

  “Did you call Laura back?” Mamm asked.

  “Ya.” Priscilla turned toward her. “I turned her down and said maybe some other time.”

  “Why?” Mamm’s eyes searched hers for an explanation.

  “I don’t want to go to Laura’s haus and feel like an outsider.” She shrugged and looked down at the quilt.

  “An outsider? What do you mean?”

  “I don’t want to go to supper with her entire family and have to eat at a separate table. I know that’s the rule, but it’s humiliating for me. It’s bad enough Ethan and I can’t stay for lunch after the services. Being singled out there would be even worse.” Priscilla turned and began sewing again.

  “Wait.” Mamm placed her hand on Priscilla’s shoulder, prompting her to stop working and turn toward her. “Laura wouldn’t invite you over just to exclude you. You should go. You need to get out of this haus and be with your freinden.”

  “No, not until the shunning is over.”

  “But Priscilla, you need to—”

  “Please, Mamm.” Priscilla held up her hand to stop her from speaking. “I’m fine.” She gestured toward the pile of sewing projects stacked on her dresser. “I’m busy, and I’m froh. I’ll worry about seeing mei freinden after I’m caught up on my projects and I can sit at the same table to eat with them. Okay?”

  Mamm nodded, but she continued to study her.

  Priscilla’s stomach tightened as she anticipated a lecture from her mother. She turned her attention back to the quilt and hoped Mamm would leave without instructing her on how to live her life.

  “What happened with Trent?”

  Priscilla stilled at the question, her eyes trained on the quilt as her stomach soured.

  “When I asked you the first night you were back if he’d hurt you, you said you were okay. I told you I’m ready to listen if you want to talk, but you haven’t opened up to me. I’m worried about you. What happened?”

  Priscilla’s hand flew to her bicep as she considered her response. “He was loving and attentive when I first met him, but he changed, especially after I had Ethan.”

  “How did he change?” Mamm prodded.

  Priscilla rubbed the back of her neck as she considered her words. “He had a short temper, and he expected me to work harder and make more money while he stayed home and drank. He couldn’t keep a job, and I had to take care of everything. I grew tired of his moods.”

  Mamm clicked her tongue and shook her head. “He should have been taking care of you and Ethan. Was he cruel to Ethan?”

  “He never physically hurt him, but he yelled at him.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that. I’m glad you were strong enough to leave him
and come home to us.” Mamm rubbed her back. “Just don’t let Trent’s behavior hold you back from moving on with your life. Don’t let Trent define your relationships with others.”

  Priscilla nodded. “Okay.”

  Mamm stood. “I’m going to get back to work. Let me know if you need any help.”

  “I will.” Priscilla forced a smile as she looked up at her. “Danki, Mamm.”

  After her mother left the room, Priscilla turned her attention back to the quilt and tried not to allow her thoughts to linger on Trent.

  Mark tried to keep his focus on his work as he hammered a nail into the barn door, but his thoughts kept drifting to how pretty Priscilla looked in the rose-colored dress she was wearing when he saw her walking from the house to the barn. He’d been mesmerized when she smiled at him and waved. Was she going to give their friendship a chance?

  “Mark?”

  He tented his eyes with his hand and looked up at Edna standing over him.

  “Hi, Edna.” He set the hammer on the ground and stood, wiping his hands down his dusty trousers. “Wie geht’s?”

  “I need your help.”

  “What can I do for you?”

  Edna glanced toward the house and then looked up at him. “Laura left Priscilla a message inviting her and Ethan to supper tomorrow, and Priscilla refuses to go. She says she doesn’t want to feel like an outsider with her freinden.”

  Disappointment pulled at his lips. His sister’s plan wasn’t going to go as smoothly as he’d anticipated. “How would Laura make her feel like an outsider?”

  “She says she doesn’t want to have to sit at a separate table during supper and feel ostracized.”

  “Laura would never do that.”

  “I know.” Edna folded her hands as if she were praying. “Would you please convince her to go?”

  Mark couldn’t stop a smile. “What makes you think I have the power to change her mind?”

  “I just have a feeling she might listen to you. Would you please talk to her?”

  “Ya.” Mark shrugged. “I’ll give it try.”

  “Danki.” Edna patted his arm. “You’re a gut man.”

  As Edna walked away, Mark racked his brain for a new approach that would convince Priscilla to go to his sister’s house tomorrow night.

  “Did you have a gut day?” Priscilla sat on the edge of Ethan’s bed and tucked the sheet under his arms later that evening.

  “Ya.” Ethan nodded. “Mark told me all about training horses, and Daadi says he’s going to teach me how to do it when I’m bigger. Are we going to stay here long enough for Daadi to teach me how to train horses?”

  “Ya, I was thinking that we might stay here longer than we planned. Would you like that?” Priscilla pushed a strand of his thick, dark hair off his forehead and kissed it. She hoped her father would keep that promise and maintain a close and healthy relationship with Ethan.

  “Yeah, it would be fun to stay longer. I think Dad would love to see the horses, though,” Ethan continued. “Do you think we can invite him to come visit us?” He patted the empty side of the bed beside him. “He could sleep with me if you want.”

  Priscilla’s belly churned as a wall of panic at the thought of seeing Trent slid into her. “I guess we’ll see.”

  “Please, Mamm?” Ethan whined.

  “I’ll have to think about it.” She touched his nose to distract him. “Get some sleep. Don’t forget to say your prayers.”

  “Gut nacht, Mamm. Ich liebe dich.”

  She rubbed his arm. “You’re doing well with your Dutch.” She stood. “Good night, and I love you too.” She stepped out of his room and closed the door behind her.

  Someday she’d explain why she had to take him away from his father. When she did, maybe her son would understand and forgive her.

  ELEVEN

  MEMORIES OF HAPPIER TIMES SPENT PREPARING MEALS with her mother rained down on Priscilla as she flipped through a cookbook. She paused when she reached her mother’s recipe for chicken and dumplings. She already had the chicken thawed. That had always been her father’s favorite meal. If she made it, would he thank her? Would he acknowledge that she was a good cook?

  She bit her lower lip as she read the directions. She had to check the pantry and make sure she had—

  “When will you be ready to go?”

  Priscilla spun toward the doorway where Mark stood. “Go where?”

  “To mei schweschder’s haus.”

  She shook her head. “I’m not going.”

  “Ya, you are going. So get ready.” He jammed his thumb toward the front door. “I want to leave in about an hour, after I’ve cleaned up. Meet me outside.”

  So Mark is going to be there. She looked down at the cookbook. “I’m going to make supper here, so just go without me.”

  “No, you’re going with me. We have to be there at five thirty.”

  “No, I’m not.” She shook her head again. “I already left Laura a message telling her that I’m not.”

  “Well I told her that you are.”

  “She understands I have things to do.” She opened the pantry door and waited to hear his footsteps heading away from her, but instead his footsteps came closer.

  “Priscilla,” he said. “Priscilla, please look at me.”

  Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him reach for her, and without thinking, she flinched, blocking her face as his hand came closer.

  “What have I done to scare you?” His voice was next to her ear, and heat cascaded throughout her body.

  “Nothing.” She ignored him and moved a few items around on the pantry shelf.

  “That’s the second time you’ve flinched from me.” His voice changed, and it seemed to hold an edge of earnestness she’d never heard from him before. “Why are you so skittish?”

  “I’m fine. You just caught me off guard.” She could hear the thickness in her voice as she waved him off.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.” He was still speaking close to her ear, and his nearness sent more warmth pouring through her.

  What was wrong with her?

  She looked at the floor and tamped down the sudden urge to tell him the truth—to unload all the dark, painful secrets she’d carried for the past few years.

  No! Don’t trust him! He’s a user! He’ll only hurt you!

  “It’s okay. I’m fine. Really, I am,” she whispered as a swelling knot of anguish grew into what felt like a lump of ice in her chest. “I really need to get back to my cooking.”

  After a beat, his footsteps started out of the pantry. Her hands trembled as she returned to searching for all the ingredients she needed.

  “Your mamm asked me to take you and Ethan to Laura’s, so I’m going to.” His voice sounded from the family room. “Can you both be ready in an hour?”

  Priscilla sagged as all the fight drained out of her. “Fine. We’ll be ready.”

  “Danki, Priscilla.”

  She nodded while keeping her eyes focused on the pantry shelves. After the front door clicked closed, she covered her mouth with her hand and swallowed her surging anxiety. The anxiety wasn’t so much about how she’d be treated at Laura’s anymore. It was about how she was going to navigate a life where Mark Riehl appeared at every turn.

  Priscilla gripped a plate of cookies as Mark knocked on Laura’s back door. She glanced around the property, taking in the big brick farmhouse and the large three-bay workshop. Laura had a good life with Allen, the kind of life Priscilla knew she’d never have.

  The back door swung open, revealing Laura with a bright smile turning up her lips.

  “You made it!” Laura hugged her twin and then pulled Priscilla in for a tender embrace. “It’s so gut to see you.” She shook Ethan’s hand. “How are you?”

  “Fine. Danki.” Ethan smiled up at her.

  “Come in.” Laura beckoned Priscilla to follow her into the house.

  Mark smiled as he made a sweeping gesture, indicating that Prisc
illa should go first.

  Priscilla’s heart stuttered as she made her way through the mudroom and into the large kitchen where Cindy and Kayla worked at the counter and the men already sat around the table.

  “Priscilla!” Cindy called. “I’m glad you came.”

  “How are you?” Kayla asked.

  “I’m doing well. Danki.” Priscilla smiled as relief uncoiled the knots in her shoulders. She took a deep breath. It felt so good to be part of a community again. How she’d missed having real friends. She looked up at Mark and smiled. Her mother and Mark had been right—she needed this tonight.

  “Onkel Mark!” Mark swept Mollie into his arms, and she wrapped her arms around his neck.

  “How’s my girl?” Mark asked before kissing her head.

  “Ethan.” Jamie patted the chair beside him. “Come sit with me. How are you?”

  As Ethan sat down beside Jamie, Priscilla turned to the other women. “Can I help you with anything?”

  “Ya.” Laura pointed to a cabinet. “Would you like to put glasses on the table?”

  “Of course.” Priscilla set the plate of cookies on the counter. “I brought some chocolate chip kichlin to share.”

  “I love chocolate chip,” Mollie announced as Mark set her on the floor.

  “That’s great.” Priscilla grinned as she reached for the glasses.

  “Mollie,” Ethan called. “Come sit by me.”

  “Okay!” Mollie scampered across the kitchen and hopped onto a chair.

  “They get along great,” Laura whispered as she rested her hand on Priscilla’s arm. “I’m so glad you decided to come.”

  Priscilla smiled. “I am too.” And she was.

  “How are your sewing projects going?” Laura asked as she sat beside Priscilla during supper. “You sounded busy when you left me the voice mail message yesterday.”

  “They’re going well.” Priscilla glanced over at Laura. “I finished four projects between yesterday and today.”

  “I’m so glad you finished them so you could have supper with us tonight,” Kayla chimed in from Priscilla’s other side as she turned to Calvin and handed him a roll. He was squirming in a booster seat.