Ring of Madness

by Royden Labrosse

  At first sight, his story looked believable. From the second, it was too caramel and sugar. No one is that noble. The vampire's got it all figured out, and he's alone in white. And everyone's a bastard. I'm willing to believe that. But that's his righteousness and righteousness...

  "Lower brain smell lies," my grandfather likes to tell me after another successful contract. I didn't know what it was like before. Now I can smell it myself. It just wasn't a vampire. It was an angel with wings. Yeah. Good should be with fists and angels with fangs? Oh, alas.

  I didn't believe what he said about his mistress and Duchka. Unbelievable. Does he understand that himself? Or does he underestimate people? Or does he underestimate people? Or does he underestimate me personally? Or - the simplest and saddest option - did he try to influence me too? I mean, we had sex with him. And I don't really remember anything about it. A vampire could have done anything to me. And it wasn't even necessary to bite me. I have a pretty decent cut on my arm. If you disturb me, I'll bleed out. Danielle could have just tried to brainwash me, but it didn't work. Neither did Ducky. But hanging on to my noodles...

  But where and in what?

  If I could understand that! I can't yet, so the question is postponed. You just don't have to accept everything that fang says. And that's gonna be hard. I really like him, don't I?

  And the scariest question I'm avoiding. What should I do?! Mother and grandfather are gone for two weeks. Of those, eight days have passed, now. There's six more to go. Less than a week to clear out all the garbage. And what are my chances?

  Zero whole, five thousand percent that I will stay safe and sound. No more. But there's a good chance I could be either a vampire or somebody's living toy. Danielle hasn't really explained my strength that much. He's an artist, you see, not a wizard. He's got a different specialty. Tonight, Mecislav will arrive and explain everything. I wonder how he'll fly? How's the butterfly? With wings bye-bye-bye-bye-bye? Or like a sparrow?

  I'm going away again. What am I supposed to do?

  So far, nothing. At least because I don't know what it takes. All I can do is be there for Daniel. If this turns out well, I'll be on the winning team. If it turns out bad, I'll have a chance of either getting away or dying. Either way, I'll be in the middle of things, and knowledge is power.

  And the calmest thing is in the eye of the storm.

  Although what kind of calm next to vampires can we talk about? That's funny.

  And this conversation this afternoon...

  Shit!

  Saying that day went hard? It's like calling the destruction of the twin towers a "minor nuisance".

  After all the talks and discussions about future plans, I got out from under the blanket and started dressing. Nadjushka tried on her conscience. The jeans were comfortable and not shy of movements, the blouse made of cotton - 100%, that is, the body will be easy and pleasant, and a sweater, obviously like "grandma's samovaz", was a pleasant light green color, length to the middle of the hip, contrary to all modes, very warm, soft and so thick that any vampire canines halfway stuck. It's a chic thing. I'd buy it myself. And I don't care if it's a hand-knit thing, not a Chanel cardboard! I don't wear things tagged outside! And warm, comfortable and beautiful is always better than fashionable, branded and show-off.

  The jacket was the same style. Tender, ratty, unmarked color, on a synthepone and with a big hood. You can't tell if it's a girl or a boy. Especially after Daniel painted my face, making my eyes smaller, lips bigger, and cheeks and chin with different tonal creams - a few other shapes. He decorated me with a pair of moles - on my chin and at my eye and nodded quite a bit.

  - It's possible to recognize you, but not right away.

  I was totally in agreement. There are a lot of people like that in the world... And in combination with the hat on the forehead and the hair removed - complete unisex. Come and see if it's a woman in front of you or a guy. I put a player in my ears and nodded.

  - At least your fangs haven't bitten anything.

  - What kind of music are you listening to? - I was wondering about a vampire.

  - Yaroslav Gashek, "The Chrestomatics of Good Manners".

  - That's a strange choice.

  - Okay, close the door, I'm running. If you need anything, call me.

  I sloppyly punched a vampire in the cheek and jumped to the exit of the dorm. The door slammed with a light snap.

  First thing I did was go to the toy and prank shop. And I got there five water pistols and a few useful things like spitting pens or powder, from which a cockroach jumped when it opened. And a cute backpack with three secret stash pockets. All this could be converted into my weapon - crosses and holy water. It was harder with a wasp. Purely theoretically, I knew where in the suburban forest there was an aspen. Purely practically - I had to get there, not to confuse the aspen with another tree, take out pegs from it... That marasmus. It's easier not to get involved. And the vampires won't let me in the distance of the aspen stake. They're not that kind of idiots. Duchka's more of a nice exception to the rules. Why pleasurable? Better let my enemy be stupider than me.

  The second item in my schedule was a grocery store where I stocked up a large five-liter bottle of holy water.

  Now all that was left was the church.

  It was quiet and peaceful in the temple. The service was either over or had not yet begun, in any case, there was one grandmother who always grazed in any temple and sizzled at any atheist.

  I went up to the counter and looked at him.

  - Give me twenty crosses, please, that book of prayers, and I need incense, if you have any, and holy water. It's better to have five liters.

  The aunt behind the counter looked at me like I was crazy.

  - Girl, say it again and in order.

  - Do you have any crosses?

  - Yes.

  - Twenty grand, please. Ten small, these are cheap (why, I do not care about the view, but to work) and ten more large. And just in case there are a couple of samples. Yeah, these. Now incense. Is it on sale?

  - Yes, of course.

  - In bags - or what?

  - It's like incense.

  - Okay, great. And that book over there. It's the fattest. The prayer book, yeah. Tell me, is there anything in there that can't be cleaned?

  "Phenazepam helps with the head," was clearly read in my aunt's eyes. I never got the answer. And I started to look through the table of contents while she was putting my purchases on the counter with an outraged face. And why, you ask, resent? He's a trader, and he's a trader in Africa. And if you trade in church, that doesn't make you any better. On the contrary, if my memory does not change, Christ kicked out traders from the temple, personally, with his kicks. He did not squeal...

  What do we have in the table of contents? Uh-huh. Jesus' prayer, thanksgiving for all God's goodness, morning prayers... I don't need that yet... The Liturgy of the Annunciated... I wonder, how? The driver's prayer... I wonder how old it is... Calling for the help of the Holy Spirit for any good deed would be good, but is my deed considered good, because our opinion may not coincide... Who knows? For me it's a good thing to sew up Duška, and for someone it will be across the wool... Pray for the sanctification of things - to take and just sanctify a vampire, like the same house. But it is read only by a priest, and I'm here from what kitchen? No, it's not going to work... Prayer before leaving the house... Who knows? It won't help... Prayer against the Antichrist! Oh! Do we have Duška pulling on the Antichrist? Isn't it a bit small? What happens if you use your cannon to sparrow? Well, the cannon will survive... That's what I need. Let's turn the page. What's next? For pregnant women and children? It's not for me yet. I'd rather give birth, though. A girl's prayer for marriage. A prayer or something? I'll marry Duška, and he'll be terrified to do it himself. And it won't hurt him. Not a bit. He'll spend a week on a rope, and he'll come round. Awesome! Prayer from the bastard's bite! It's the right one. If Duke's not a bastard, what is he? We'll remember that, too! Sick an
d drunk we don't want to see. This isn't for me. Now that's close to the point. About banishing evil spirits from people and animals, against the harm of psychics, magicians, etc. and evil people. That's fine. I'll browse better at home.

  - Do you have any holy water? - I put money on a saucer for my purchases.

  - Everything was taken apart, my aunt raked up my finances and slowly counted down the change.

  - Damn you all, I said it from the bottom of my heart.

  Auntie's eyes became like a viper who was run over by a cart. She would have told me everything, but she didn't have time.

  - It is not good in the temple of God to mention the enemy of the human race," said a reproachful voice behind his back.

  I turned around and fucked up again. The priest was literally standing a step away from me. And how did he get so quiet?

  - You sneak up like a cat on a roof, and you want me not to swear! Okay, I'm sorry. I understand and I repent. You're a hustler, a cheeky man, and you're not trained to respect authority. Farewell?

  The priest looked at me. What was good he saw, I never understood, but he suddenly smiled.

  - Sometimes a good heart hides behind rudeness of words. What brings you to the temple, my child?

  You should've used it if it was offered.

  - That's how I bought everything. Tell me, are you sure you can't get enough of holy water? I don't want to go to the other side of town, and there's no guarantee.

  - Why do you need holy water? Sorry, I don't know how to address you.

  Poking annoyed me, but not too much. The priest looked like he wasn't my grandfather's age, and in this case he can call me a potty name. As long as he didn't get in the way of my soul.

  - Jane. You can do it with a "you." What about you?

  - I am Father Mitrofan.

  - And the patronymic? Because it's not polite...

  - I won't be offended. This is your first time in church, isn't it, child?

  - First. So what? - So I looked at the call.

  - I wish your parents had brought you to the temple earlier. But I hope you'll come to us again. You can come to God at any age. So why do you need holy water, Julia?

  - Five more liters! - My aunt picked it up.

  - Vital necessity," I sighed. - If I tell you, you won't believe it anyway, so let's leave it at that. Yes, yes, no, no.

  The priest's eyes became very sharp and... cold?

  - Are these all your purchases, too? - he asked, pointing at crosses and a book.

  - Yes.

  - I'll get what you're asking, but in return, promise me half an hour of conversation.

  I shrugged my shoulders.

  - Here's my bottle. I'll wait for you outside, or I'm afraid to swing.

  - Okay, Julia. I hope you'll wait for me.

  - I have no choice. I need holy water like air, I turned around and went outside.

  I guess I'll never get used to the stench we have in the temples. Frankincense, sweat, some incense, bums and beggars...

  How delicious the winter city air seemed to me...

  Father Mitrofan showed up fifteen minutes later.

  - Here, take the water, Julia. Can you tell me what happened to you? It's a strange set for a young girl. And you don't look like a true believer, forgive me my words.

  I just took a breath.

  - You can't help me. Tell me, is there anything specific in that book I bought against evil?

  - What kind of wickedness, Julia?

  How about giving him half the truth? What do I really have to lose?

  - A friend of mine thought she was bitten by a vampire. Hence the problem.

  The priest suddenly became incredibly serious. He hadn't been humorous before, but now... It's as if he's all caught up, clenched in a lump and tense. Not on the outside, on the inside, but it only made everything more visible.

  - Julia, can you bring this friend here to us?

  Yeah, well... I'm gonna go visit Duke and get him.

  - I can't.

  - Why?

  - Tell me why you need it, and I'll answer. Just do me a favor and don't get my brain rosin. Then I'll just take the water and go. How much do I owe you for it, by the way?

  - Not a penny. Say, are you and your friend sure this is a vampire bite?

  - I don't think her dog pinched her neck. It's even this big.

  - Then both your friend and you and all your family are in terrible danger.

  The priest and I looked at each other closely. I was the first one to decide.

  - So you know that vampires are not a myth?

  His eyes became calm and tired.

  - Yes, Julia, I know that. How do you know that?

  Well, why not?

  - As I know, our religion has a secret confession. Can you give me your word that if I do not call you within a month, you will tell my grandfather everything that happened to me? My grandfather, not my mother's.

  - And who's your grandfather, Julia?

  - Give me your word first. Swear to God.

  - Otherwise you won't believe me?

  - I'm sorry, no.

  The priest took a hard sigh. Thought for a few minutes. And he nodded.

  - I swear not to tell anyone what you tell me.

  That was enough for me.

  - You're right. A vampire exists and is currently blackmailing both me and her. If I can destroy it, my loved ones will be relatively but secure.

  The priest didn't seem surprised at all. So he originally knew about vampires and the other delights of nightlife? How would he have known about them? Oh, Christmas trees, where am I going with this?

  - And your friend?

  - He already has it. My family's out of town, thank God, but they'll be back. And I'm scared.

  Father kept silent, picking up the words, and then he decided.

  - Julia, you know there's a special department in the church...

  - THE IPF? - I didn't do the Chinese ceremonies.

  The priest pulled out his eyes.

  - How do you know that? It's one of the church's most serious secrets!

  - Another vampire told me. Said it was a reborn inquisition.

  The interlocutor only wiggled his head.

  - Julia, can you tell us everything from the beginning? Cause I don't understand anything yet.

  I wasn't sorry. But I had to tell it in a short and warlike way. So as not to give too much information for sure.

  - I got a call from a friend. Said she was bitten by a vampire. I left her at my place for the night. The vampire came for her that night, and I managed to keep him from coming home. But in retaliation, he threatened to kill my family if I didn't come to him the next night to talk. And I'm not bringing a friend with me. I didn't have a choice. We're here. The girlfriend stayed with him. I managed to escape, and I want to help her out.

  - You could have gone straight to the temple! - The priest was exalted. - Do you realize that two girls could never handle a vampire?! And you couldn't do it now. It's pride and arrogance! You'll ruin both your soul and your friend. If she hasn't already died and become one of the maids of hell!

  I squinted. Pride? Who would have thought the church could help? If I tell that aunt behind the counter about vampires, she'll call me the first nuthouse!

  Arrogance?

  Why, did I have a choice? Did someone ask me? Life just threw me into all this like a puppy in the water! And I try to swim. Or at least I don't sink right away! Who else would do something different if it were me? I'd like to live! And I want to. And anyway, it's good to talk to some people.

  - Father, answer me these questions. Does everyone in the church know about the IPF and the existence of different evil deeds? And two. If the IPF knows about the existence of vampires and does not destroy them, all at once, so these organizations coexist. And they even cooperate?

  - Julia, what are you saying?! - His indignation was so sincere, I almost felt ashamed. But still, I didn't believe it. - How do you turn your tongu
e to suspect the Church in cooperation with these devil's brats?!

  - In silence. And that raises a third question. What would your help cost me? Wouldn't it turn out that the cure would be worse than the disease?

  - You're deeply wrong, Julia. You and your friend could immediately go to the temple and you would be given shelter and help. But it didn't even occur to you! How deep is the human unbelief!

  - Oh, oh mores...

  [6]

  Why, are vampire protection courses open?

  - Fighting the undead is a church matter," the priest declared. I shook my head, and I cried.

  - What would it cost me if you helped me fight? I'm nineteen years old, I'm just not cut out for church discipline. And frankly, we don't have believers, we have all the people who think. What would you offer me if you couldn't destroy this bloodsucker? Well, you can't. Otherwise, he'd be long gone... What would wait for me, you? To spend the rest of my life in a convent? And my family, too? And not even to go out to the store to get bread from this crypt? That's not funny! I'm a normal woman, I want a husband, I want children - and I want it all at once. I want to walk, finish my education, defend my thesis, travel around the world, maybe even have a few lovers... The Church won't give me that. And in general, what better life than death? By prayers and fasting? You know, I'm not arrogant enough to judge God - and even more so to impose my point of view on everyone. Enough of this! I have only one request for you. If I don't come here within a month and send no one, look around. I suppose my grandfather will hang my photos on all the poles. And thank you for the water.

  - Julia, you have to talk to people who hunt vampires...

  I wouldn't even listen. I turned around and headed for the gate.

  - You'll die and kill your friend! - The priest shouted at me after him.