The Donors

by Jeffrey Wilson

  Jason tried to let her off the hook. “Jenny, I think I like you but if you are uncomfortable with this...”

  Yeah, no big deal at all. If you need me, I’ll be at my apartment, hanging myself in the shower.

  “No,” she said. “I want to get together with you and I am excited.” She sighed and looked embarrassed. “Listen, I am NOT some emotional, high-maintenance chick. I just have some stuff from my past that makes me like this—kind of—I don’t know, awkward I guess—around guys.” She looked at him to see his reaction and he smiled. “I’m a lot of fun, actually. I just have a hard time relaxing sometimes.” She watched his eyes carefully.

  Jason laughed. “It’ll be cool not being the only one who’s awkward and uncomfortable. Maybe I won’t be at such a disadvantage.” Jenny laughed with him. “I just want to find out who you are.” He allowed himself to take her hand in his this time.

  Again he thought her eyes clouded.

  “That takes time,” she said, looking at her hand in his.

  “I have it,” he said and she gazed at him, happily it seemed.

  “Alright then,” she said getting up. “It’s a date.” She put her hands on her hips at the declaration and they both laughed.

  “I’ll meet you at around seven-thirty,” he said. “Where?”

  “How about right in the lobby by the elevators?” she offered.

  “Perfect.” He turned to go.

  “Jason,” she said from behind him. He turned to look again at her incredibly beautiful face, eyebrows raised. “Thanks for making me comfortable. It’s not you, just bad family stuff.” He winced at that.

  “Believe me, I know.” He tried to sound reassuring and not creepy.

  He headed back to Nathan’s room. Inside, Nathan sat talking to his mom and eating vanilla ice cream from a Styrofoam bowl. When he entered the boy’s face lit up.

  Man, I am having a great day.

  “Hey, Jason,” Nathan tried to sound older than five. “Mommy… I mean, my mom, only got one spoon. Can Jenny get you another spoon?”

  “How about I just let you eat while we watch the movie?” he asked and smiled at Nathan’s mom. “How are you doing?”

  “I’m doing well,” she answered, but her eyes were dark and heavy. Jason knew she hadn’t had a real night’s sleep in a couple of days. “Thanks so much for spending so much time with him.”

  “I should be thanking you,” he said sincerely. “I have a great time with my buddy here.”

  Nathan beamed as Jason took back his place on the edge of the bed and they started the movie again. He sat with him for a long while. They finished Ice Age and got halfway through Shrek before Nathan fell asleep, his head against Jason’s arm. Jason tried not to move, letting the little guy get into a deeper sleep. Then he awkwardly extracted himself, laid Nathan on his own pillow and pulled the covers up around his shoulders. He watched him for a moment then kissed him on the forehead without thinking.

  Sherry Doren slept deeply in the chair-turned-uncomfortable bed. He spread out a thin blanket over her as well and then turned off the TV. He watched Nathan again from the door.

  He thought of Lizard Men and shadowy figures in trench coats with glowing eyes. He prayed silently that Nathan’s demons would leave him alone tonight.

  Prey on someone else tonight and let the little guy sleep.

  Then he closed the door gently behind him to block out the noise from the unit.

  Chapter

  6

  Steve knew he was dreaming, but he didn’t want it to end. He couldn’t remember why being awake was a terrible thing to avoid.

  He stood on the pier with Toby and leaned over the railing, a fishing line dangling in the water. The air felt wicked hot and he had sunburned badly, though strangely mostly on his right thigh. Man, it hurt. He grabbed his Budweiser and tipped it up to his lips.

  The beer tasted all wrong—warm as piss, and for some reason rubbery, like a balloon. He wanted to tell Toby about the beer. When he turned to him, the face was Toby’s only now his eyes were black as coal, with a shimmer of orange.

  I know those eyes. Those aren’t Toby’s eyes, but I know them.

  He heard a weird beeping noise, but he couldn’t place it.

  “Dude, your leg’s on fuckin’ fire, man.” Toby turned and stared off the pier, teased the line from his fishing pole, trying to bob his bait and attract the fish below.

  Steve looked down and saw his thigh engulfed in orange-blue flame. It wrapped around his leg from just above his knee and he watched it turn his skin red, then white. Panic grew in his chest as blisters started to form. The searing pain ran up his thigh and into his groin, then spread around to his back.

  Steve dropped his fishing pole and slapped at the flames on his right thigh with his hands, to stop the horrible pain, but his arms were ridiculously short nubs with normal hands on the end, too little to reach his leg. His stubs just flapped, slapping weakly against his chest.

  Steve opened his mouth to scream, strained his chest, but nothing came out. Then finally he heard a scream, but instead of his voice it sounded more like a—

  HISSS!

  Steve’s eyes opened. He stared up at the pale, thin-lipped face. He felt the pulsating burn in his leg. The thin lips turned into a smile.

  “Ah, Mr. Prescott. Welcome back. You left us for a moment.” Mr. Clark stood back up, pulling out of view.

  “I was asking you a question, do you remember? No? Well I guess we’ll ask again.” He let a long pause hang in the air. Steve stared at the white ceiling with its black line and tried desperately to make his mind go somewhere, anywhere, away from the searing pain. Abruptly, Mr. Clark leaned into view again.

  “Mr. Prescott, are you sorry for what you have done?” The head tilted back and his eyes glowed through the shadows. “No? Not yet?” The red lips pulled back in another tight smile. Steve suddenly knew that the creature wanted more than an apology. He saw an excitement in the quivering lips and something else—a hunger.

  “Well, you will be.” He straightened up and disappeared from view. “Good night, Mr. Prescott. We will see you in the morning. Yes, we will most definitely see you then.”

  He heard the shuffling of feet and a door clicking shut, then silence except for the low beeping and hissing that his mind barely registered anymore.

  His eyes filled with tears. This time they flowed down his face for hours, soaking his hair and tickling his skin. He tried all night to force his mind onto the sensation of the salty streams running down his face, away from the thunderous ache in his right thigh, but it didn’t work. The intensity consumed him, until he thought he would lose his mind.

  * * *

  The work dragged on as night shifts always do. Jenny decided to skip the assessment at two a.m. on Nathan Doren. She had checked on him and he looked so peaceful that it seemed wrong to wake him, just to chart his blood pressure and respiratory rate. For a few moments, she watched him from the door.

  Something about this boy had captured the heart of the man she found herself so enamored with. It was intriguing, but oddly, there was something scary in that thought. She had no idea why on earth she felt that way. Maybe Nathan reminded her of her own shitty past. Whatever it was, she felt strongly about this little boy, too. If breaking the rules and letting him sleep a little more would be best for him, she would.

  She closed the door softly.

  The other patient she had was labor intensive but not very challenging. The fifteen-year-old had been hit by a car weeks ago and remained on the ventilator with a closed head injury. Ventilator patients were a lot more time demanding: frequent checks, labs, vitals, and in the case of this patient, lots of sucking the snot from the airway.

  She spent most of the night working with the critically-ill teenager. When she needed a sanity check, she checked on Nathan. Nathan’s mom had not stirred since Jason covered her with a blanket. She seemed totally exhausted and Jenny did her best not to disturb her either.

&nb
sp; She spent her free time thinking of Jason. She felt nervous about seeing him in a few hours, but excited too. What the hell had she been thinking with her melodramatic confessions of “family problems?” Maybe she was trying to scare him away, like she had the handful of men in the past. Easier than letting them get close perhaps.

  Thanks for that, Dad, you shithead.

  Jenny’s heart raced at the thought. Strange, but thoughts of her father felt wrong somehow. Forced seemed more accurate. Why did it feel so off (other than the obvious) to think of her dad and what he had done to her and her brother?

  Screw it. He’s gone. Mom is nuts and Patrick is in a wheelchair for life. How much more wrong do you need?

  She pushed the thoughts from her head and tried to focus on her work, but a part of her mind refused to let it go, trying to make her see something important. “Not now, damnit,” she muttered to herself. This sudden obsession with her past would do nothing to enhance her budding relationship with Jason. “Haven’t you taken enough from me?” she said out loud.

  “What’s that, dear?” Jenny looked up at Carol Wernicke, the senior nurse on duty with her tonight and the one in charge. She liked Carol, who had taken her under her wing after her orientation. She was the kind of nurse Jenny hoped to eventually be, and she blushed a little at being caught mumbling to herself.

  “Oh, nothing,” she said. “Just trying to talk myself awake. I’m dragging a little tonight.”

  “Yeah, nights are hard. You’re off tomorrow, aren’t you?”

  “Yes,” Jenny answered. “Then back for days on the weekend.”

  “Well,” Nurse Wernicke said maternally, “you should do something fun with your two days off—maybe with your new friend, Dr. Gelman.” She winked at Jenny. “Relax dear,” the older nurse said with a hand on her shoulder. “I can read those residents pretty well by now and that guy is one of the few good ones. He doesn’t seem to be looking for a place to just park his car for a few weeks, you know what I mean?”

  “Thanks,” she said. “I hope you’re right.”

  Her charge nurse walked off and she tried to make sense of what she had been charting. What had she been thinking about that had seemed so important? Her mind grew suddenly heavy and struggled to keep focus on the words in front of her.

  Holy shit, I’m tired. I should have taken that cup of coffee from Jason instead of bearing my soul.

  Her head bobbed forward and she forced her eyes to open wide. She knew she couldn’t nap at work but wondered if five minutes with her eyes closed would help her rally.

  Not sleeping, just resting my eyes. Her mom looked amused from a distant, happy memory but the warm feeling it brought confused her. She felt her mind drifting away.

  We need your help now, Jenny. Only people like you, those who have been through it, can understand enough to help us punish these bastards.

  The voice was frightening and a part of her resisted its call. But she felt herself falling into its grasp. It felt a lot like drowning.

  Images flashed through her mind at a rocket pace. At first they were a slideshow, just like before, of her father tearing off her nightgown and roughly pulling her panties aside. She cried and begged him to stop. Her brother writhing on the floor of the kitchen, legs motionless. Pictures of her mother, mouth swollen and bloody, black trails of mascara streaming down her face as she rocked quietly in a corner of the den.

  Then there were other images, more confusing. Glowing lights in a dark stairwell, an impossibly pale face. A blood-red mouth splitting apart to reveal long, sharp teeth.

  Images of her father holding her lovingly and reassuring her that everything would be okay after her pet gerbil died. Images of her and both of her parents watching Patrick at a high school soccer game. Impossible! Her brother had been in a wheelchair for years by then. After a few months in foster care, she had come home to her mother, broken, her father long since gone.

  That’s right.

  Isn’t it?

  The loving images faded away and her sanity’s pleading voice drifted with them, whatever its message might have been.

  Then she watched the slide show, the dark pictures. Her fear and anger built in intensity.

  We need your help.

  She walked in a poorly lit cave with a man in a long trench coat, a top hat on his head. She couldn’t see his face but sensed he was a friend. She still fought a terrible sense of dread.

  “Dreams are just like that,” she remembered some child’s voice muttering. The memory reassured her.

  As she walked, another stranger came to her. It sounded like the man in the coat, but he spoke to her, in her head, without really talking.

  You have to help us stop the evil man that hurt your little Nathan. Only you can help stop him.

  She heard the voice and knew what it said was true.

  Here is what you must do.

  * * *

  Jason waited nervously by the elevators, pacing back and forth, trying to look casual. He had changed clothes three times and still looked wrong. His choices were admittedly limited but he wanted to look confident. After looking in the mirror the first time, he had given up on that pipe dream and settled for just having his socks match.

  The chime of the elevator snapped him back from his fashion worries. He tried to look fun, happy, cool and casual all at once, but it hurt his face so he set his sights on a content smile.

  The old couple that shuffled slowly from the elevator didn’t seem very impressed but did manage a smile back in his direction. He sighed in frustration.

  Hadn’t he learned last night that Jenny felt awkward and uncomfortable too? As hard as he found that to believe, he took strength from the thought.

  “Jason?”

  He looked up at the beautiful blue-green eyes with a start. He hadn’t heard the elevator ding. She looked so damn pretty. Then he noticed how heavy and clouded her eyes were.

  Just tired?

  “Hi,” he managed to cough out. “Sorry, I didn’t see you come down. How are you?”

  “Tired,” she said with a smile and a little sigh. “I’m not going to be very good company I’m afraid.”

  He felt his heart sink a little.

  “Would you like to do this another time?” he asked.

  Please, no. Please, no. Please, no.

  “No,” she said with another weak smile. “I want to have breakfast with you. I just have somewhere I have to be in a little while if that’s okay.”

  He couldn’t blame her for building an out into their date. You never know. At least she hadn’t changed her mind all together.

  “Okay,” he said. “I know a little place about a block from here that’s got great food. It’s not very fancy or anything,” he warned.

  “Sounds perfect,” she said.

  He managed to contain his excitement when she took his hand as they walked out the door. Her fingers were warm and soft in his.

  On the brief walk to the Sunrise Café, Jenny caught him up on Nathan’s night. She flushed a little when she told him she had skipped his assessment at two a.m., so as not to wake him.

  “I probably shouldn’t tell his doctor that, huh?” she said with a nervous laugh. “You probably think I’m a bad nurse.”

  Jason squeezed her hand and chuckled. “I don’t think you’re a bad nurse and actually I’m not really his doctor. I’m more like…” He paused. Like what? “A friend I guess.”

  Jenny smiled. “Well you’re a good friend, Jason,” she said. “He sure as hell needs one, huh?”

  “Yeah,” Jason answered. “I don’t know why I feel so pulled to that little guy. There’s just something special about him.”

  Jenny yanked him to a stop and he turned to look at her, a little surprised. Her face looked very serious.

  “There is, isn’t there?” she asked. She seemed far away. Jason waited patiently for her to return and after a moment she seemed to focus on him again. “I feel it too. What is it about him that’s so special?”

/>   “I don’t know.” He felt a little uncomfortable. “I really don’t. I’m just sort of, I don’t know, drawn to him or something.”

  “Yeah,” Jenny looked off again. “Yeah. Drawn to him somehow.” Then she shook her head and blushed. She looked at him and smirked. “I sound like a flake, huh? I’m NOT a night person.” She pulled him along again and he relaxed. “Working nights makes me loopy.”

  They enjoyed a nice breakfast. Jason wanted a bigger word for their first date but it was ‘nice.’ Fortunately, nice he could handle. Anything bigger would probably just scare the crap out of him.

  Jenny seemed tired and distracted but they chatted anyway and he delighted in the observation that she touched his arm a lot when she talked. They went on about the hospital a little but both seemed content to try and avoid the gossip mill.

  They talked about running, as both had been avid runners in the past, though neither made much time for it lately. Again and again, they would come back to Nathan.

  “I hope the asshole that hurt him gets what he deserves,” Jason said over a bite of eggs benedict. He watched her closely to see if she would react negatively to that, but to his surprise he saw a hint of rage flash across her face at the mere mention.

  “Oh, he will,” she said and Jason thought that for a moment she looked almost evil.

  Maybe she feels similar…

  “I wish I had your confidence in our legal system.” He put his fork down and felt his appetite abandon him.

  Jenny’s eyes flashed again. “I didn’t say anything about the legal system.”

  And then the odd expression vanished and they moved on to other topics. He learned that Jenny would love to one day have kids of her own but had trouble seeing herself in that role.

  “No role models,” she said simply and then rushed on before he could press her for more. Not that he would have. He felt perfectly content leaving the past untouched for awhile.