by M. M. Perry
“What? Oh, you’re having me on,” Jeremy said, pushing his tray away. “I do like how he says ‘airman.’ Makes me feel manlier or something.”
Jeremy adjusted his collar, which elicited a giggle from Naomi.
“Had enough to eat?”
“Yeah,” Jeremy said. His tone became more somber. “Though, it was reported already? And they had a meeting about it? That wasn’t thirty minutes ago. Naomi, we might wanna be a bit more careful in our unit. I know Jamil promised no blowback…”
“Yeah, I know. We’ll be more discreet.”
Naomi strode across the shuttle bay toward the group of soldiers in the center. Alphea smiled at her when she approached, and Naomi returned the expression. She looked up to the suspended walkways filled with pilots looking down. She spotted Jeremy and he gave her a subtle wave of encouragement. When she saw Mike, she gave him a slight nod in greeting.
Naomi looked around at the squad. If there was someone who objected to her presence on the mission, she wasn’t able to tell. They all looked stoic, waiting for their commander’s orders. Mike walked forward in a formal, clipped manner, stopping in front of Naomi. He’d changed back into his fatigues and it gave him a more commanding air.
“Are we ready to begin?”
“Yes,” Naomi said.
Mike turned to First Engineer Henry who nodded his assent. When Mike looked away, Henry smirked at Naomi. She ignored him and followed Mike at a close clip. Henry was caught off guard and rushed to catch up to them.
“I’m sure you know we have a much better setup for this type of thing in the belly, but rather than disrupting the ongoing training of everyone down there, we did a little extra work up here in the shuttle bay to create a few scenarios to go over. Obviously we can’t go through the elaborate war games we run down in the belly.”
Book raised his hand like a child in a classroom and Mike gave him a stern look. Book slowly lowered his hand with an exaggerated expression of sadness.
“Despite Book’s pleadings we do so. However, it’s essential we take you through some of the basics. Our job is much easier if you understand a few safety measures; it’ll keep you from friendly fire and help us move you quickly out of danger.
“The first thing we’d like to check is firearm safety. It’s unlikely you’ll need to handle a firearm, but there are a few simple rules regarding them that, in the unlikely event it does happen, you’ll appreciate. You won’t be using any of our assault rifles. They require too much training to use properly and, quite frankly, are generally used for cover fire and driving the enemy in a particular direction. They shoot lots of bullets in a short amount of time and are loud and scary, but they aren’t particularly accurate. They’re suppression weapons and best used by people who’ve spent a lot of time around them and know the best way to use them.
“We each carry guns based on ancient Earth’s Sig 1911’s. They’re solid combat pistols and handle well. You won’t be able to shoot at range without more training, but if you are closed in on, this should do the job. We’ve set up targets at thirty feet so you can get used to the feel of the gun being shot. If you handle them well, we’ll try seventy-five feet. Before you pick them up, there are three rules you must always obey.
“First and foremost, you do not point your gun unless you intend to shoot. The point of the gun should never, not even an unloaded weapon, be pointed in an unsafe direction. Not at your feet, not off into the distance, and especially not at any person who is not an enemy combatant. Know what you’re pointing at. And remember, you’re holding a deadly weapon in your hands.
“Number two, check the safety. We’ll be in combat situations, so our guns are always loaded. Check your safety before you prepare to shoot. This one is hard for new users. It’s often overlooked.
“Finally, never put your finger on the trigger until you’re ready to shoot. No exceptions.”
Naomi glanced at the guns on the table in front of her. She wasn’t excited about this portion of her training. Before this, she’d only ever seen weapons in old shows from ancestral Earth. She looked sideways at Henry. He certainly looked more eager to try out the guns than she did. She felt her stomach churn.
“Alright. Those in the gallery, you’ll want to use your earplugs if you’ve got ‘em. You two will have no such luxury, I’m afraid. We can’t have you running around in that ship unable to hear orders because we’ve stuffed cotton in your ears. These guns aren’t as loud as assault rifles, but they’ll still be shockingly loud until you get used to them. We’re going easy on you today and letting you plug one of your ears. When the real deal happens, no plugs. Trigger, you help Henry. Tesla, I’m with you.”
Mike handed Naomi an orange piece of foam. Mike tapped her left ear and she pushed the foam inside. He walked up to the table and picked up a gun.
“You hold it like this. Remember, finger off the trigger until you’re ready to fire. Safety is here. It’s currently on. Just slide your thumb like so, and it’s off. I’m going to put it back on before I set it down. Are you ready?”
Naomi nodded her head a little shakily. Mike smiled at her reassuringly.
“It’s alright. You can do it. I know it’s intimidating at first. People around here don’t encounter guns that often. I’ll be here the whole time.”
Naomi nodded again, this time more confidently. She stepped up to the table. Before she picked up a gun she looked around her surroundings, wanting to be sure of her situation. About thirty feet in front of her was a paper target. The image on the target was a plain black outline of a human. There were numbers printed in different areas of the target. She looked around the edges of the makeshift shooting range. Large sacks that looked to be filled with something dense and heavy were stacked easily eight feet high on all sides.
A shot rang out and Naomi jumped. Henry had already fired his first shot. He glanced at her and sneered while Trigger adjusted his aim. Naomi picked up the gun. She felt large arms around her. Already on edge, Mike startled her.
“Shh. It’s alright. It’s just me,” he said, close to her ear.
Naomi felt confidence growing as Mike’s hands covered hers around the gun. She’d been dreading the kickback, but Mike was mirroring her hands, there to help. She was acutely aware of his body pressed up against her back. Somehow he was much larger up close than across the breakfast table.
“Alright,” he said assertively, “check the safety. Good. Now, before you put your finger on the trigger, think about what the gun is going to do. You’re more prepared for that than you know. You’re an engineer. You built that replacement part for the ship?”
Naomi nodded.
“Then you know what a serious tool feels like when the power kicks in. A gun is like that. Imagine holding one of those big drills in your hand and squeezing the trigger. Only this one is sharper. Now, with that in mind, exhale before you pull the trigger, then hold your breath. Ready?”
Naomi tried not to giggle. She knew Mike wasn’t doing it on purpose. In fact, he was completely oblivious to the fact that his phrasing was inadvertently sensual—that everything he said came across as a series of poorly planned double entendres. She didn’t want to disappoint her teacher by losing focus however, so she took a deep breath and centered herself. She nodded to indicate her readiness.
“Show me what you got.”
Naomi took a deep, steadying breath then exhaled. She aimed down the site at the center of the target and pulled the trigger.
“Very nice, Naomi. Now, let’s see you pull a few rounds on your own. There are seven more in there. Use them all, if you like. I’m still right here, but I’m going to lower my arms. I think you have this under control. Remember; breathe out then squeeze.”
Mike remained positioned behind Naomi, but he dropped his hands from hers, leaving her free to fire the gun on her own. She readied herself, then squeezed off seven more rounds. The sound of all the shots in succession rang in her unplugged ear. She could almost feel Mike smile at th
e result.
“Very good. You have steady hands. Must be the engineer in you.”
She put the safety back on and placed the gun on the table, pointing toward the targets. She almost bumped into Mike when she turned around. He was smiling at her, pleased with her progress.
“As soon as that one manages to finish his magazine we’ll check your target, though from what I can see I think you’ll come out alright in a close quarters gun fight.”
Naomi flushed at the compliment. She watched Henry finish. He kept turning on his safety somehow every time he finished shooting a round. He turned to complain to Trigger, his gun in his hand.
“Whoa, whoa there, cowboy,” Trigger said, nudging the gun back toward the target. “Let’s just call this one done, alright?”
Trigger flashed Mike a frustrated look as she took the gun from Henry. Henry scowled. Trigger and Mike ejected the magazines and checked the chambers of their weapons. Mike then motioned for the targets to be moved. Book handed Naomi’s paper target to Mike, who looked at it admiringly.
“Very nice cluster,” he said, showing it to Naomi.
Naomi looked at the target and put her finger into one of the holes. All eight were close together and near the center of the target.
“Now, don’t be disappointed if you don’t do as well next. Seventy-five feet is a long way to shoot with a handgun, especially for a newbie. But the basics are the same.”
The soldiers were already moving the heavy backstops far away from her. She took a deep breath and handed her target back to Mike. Mike took it and draped it over a barrier. He checked to make sure his men were out of the range and that the targets had been set. He nodded at Trigger, and they both approached the table and proceeded to reload the guns. Mike stepped back and motioned for Naomi to step up.
Naomi proceeded to go through all the steps before firing her pistol. Mike no longer stood behind her, but beside her. After she emptied her magazine she set the gun down on the table and waited. Once again Henry was having difficulty with his gun. After the first two shots, he finally figured out his issue and managed to fire off the last six rounds easily enough. He placed his gun down on the table and stood back. Trigger and Mike checked the weapons before Mike motioned for the targets to be retrieved. As Casings and Book were coming back with the targets, Naomi noticed Book was trying to hide a smile. He handed the target to Mike and winked at Naomi with a grin. Mike looked at the target and smiled himself.
“Naomi, I’d say with some practice you’d be quite the shooter. You’re what we call a natural. Your grouping is good. All bullets found the target. Center mass, very nice. And I think your partner was a little distracted with your target.”
Mike held up the target for Naomi to see. The bullets weren’t in the middle like they were when she shot the closer target, but they were all within the body shape. Mike put his finger in a couple holes near the edge of her target. Naomi was puzzled until she looked over at Henry’s target. Only one hole adorned it, near the edge.
“Maybe. Maybe those are mine, on the edge,” Naomi said, uncomfortable in the spotlight.
Mike smiled at her again.
“If you say so,” he said, leaning in so only she could hear him.
The rest of the training wasn’t nearly as stressful. They went over a variety of scenarios where Henry and Naomi had to learn were to stand when certain orders were called out, what to do when explosives were being used, and where to position themselves when danger was incoming. Throughout the day, Naomi was unable to figure out who might be unhappy with her. She wondered if the dissident was laying low because there were so many people watching.
She found the training only made her more anxious. The idea that the Tereshkova would be in any state like the scenarios they played out was terrifying.
She didn’t run into any trouble until the final scenario. The scenario was that they were separated from the group, but still under fire or in danger. Mike had assigned Chef and Casings to guard Naomi. Naomi was supposed to stay in cover with Casings while Chef scouted a way back to safety. Naomi was crouched behind a large barrier that was standing in for a blind hallway. Chef moved off to scout. Naomi squatted behind the wall quietly waiting for the long day to end.
She felt Casings move closer. She looked up, expecting it was time to follow Chef, only to find him leering down at her. She’d been around overly amorous men before, but comfort was meant to go both ways and the punishment for ignoring that was so severe, she’d never felt scared of anyone in that manner before, but the way Casings was looking at her terrified her.
“I hear you enjoy an angry fuck, Tesla. When we get to the Tereshkova, I’m sure we’ll have a chance to get you one.”
The tone of his voice quickened her heart. She felt bile creep up her throat. Her skin broke out in a clammy sweat. She couldn’t believe how terrified a few words could make her. She felt very alone, even in the middle of the shuttle bay. Her wrist blazed crimson. It didn’t matter though; they’d been set not to report at the beginning of training, since emotions would be running high. Military, she’d been told, didn’t conform. Their monitors only reported serious injury or death. Her mind clawed for an escape.
“Diego,” a cold voice said.
Casings turned, surprised to find they weren’t alone. Chef looked at him with murderous eyes.
“Chef,” Casings said hastily, “are we ready to move out?”
“You certainly are.”
“It was a joke. Don’t be so damn delicate. Can’t even handle a little joke?”
He moved off, scowling. Chef kept her eyes on him until he was out of sight. She spat on the ground where he’d walked. She turned to Naomi, and her normally crazy-looking eyes softened.
“It’s alright,” she said, practically cooing at Naomi like she was a child. “He’ll get what’s coming to him. If you want, we can report him now. But, I need to tell you, if you do, you’ll likely get pulled from the mission. Marcus will say it’s not safe for you among us brutes. All I can say to reassure you is that if you wait on reporting this, Mike will still hear what happened from me. And between him and me, there’s no way that asshole is getting you alone, ever. I swear on my life.”
Naomi looked into Chef’s strong, clear eyes. She nodded.
Chef reached out to her and Naomi grabbed her hand gratefully. Chef’s grip was strong and reassuring. They walked side-by-side back toward the group.
“Your pilot friend up there. This’d red-line him. You won’t like it, but you shouldn’t tell him. If you need to talk about it, whatever that unburdening thing is you guys do, you come to me. Or Mike. But I’d keep it between us. I think Book’s alright, but I don’t know about the rest of them. Marcus was promising all sorts of crazy shit. I don’t know if he can deliver, but it doesn’t seem to matter to some of the guys. They’re for sale.”
Naomi nodded again, numb.
“Hey,” Chef turned to her, “you gonna be able to get it together? This,” she picked up Naomi’s arm, which was still blazing red. “This is bad, right? We don’t have these and I was only briefed on civvy stuff yesterday. They don’t let me out of the barracks often, on account of me being crazy and all.”
Naomi looked at her wrist. There’d only been a few times in her life it had ever gotten as deep a scarlet. She closed her eyes and counted, just like Jeremy had taught her after the first time. She counted the people she personally knew who’d died on the ship, one with each breath. She hoped she wouldn’t have to add Carrie to the list. Counting the names centered her, reminding her what she was waiting for and what she risked losing if she lost control of her emotions.
She opened her eyes.
“Not bad, soldier,” Chef said looking at her arm. “You’ll have to teach me that trick. I’ve been told I could use a little meditation. Well that’s a lie. They told me I could use a lot. We ready?”
“Yes,” Naomi said.
Jeremy had wanted to walk Naomi back to Family, but she couldn’t
talk to him - not yet. She sent him on alone, telling him she needed to help the others clean up and that she’d meet him later at Todd’s get-together. Her initial fear had turned to anger - anger that someone had spoken to her so callously, anger that she had let him. She was confused by the swirl of emotions.
She couldn’t go back to Jeremy, not as she was. It was too dangerous. She’d want to seek comfort from him. She’d want reassurance, warmth, kindness and love but she couldn’t have those things. She wondered if Todd or Maria were free but quickly dismissed the notion. She knew she couldn’t truly unburden with them, either. She couldn’t tell them what had happened. They’d go into shock. For a fleeting moment she thought of Alphea’s office, the only place that wouldn’t report her emotions. But she knew she couldn’t take anyone there, unburden, and tell them to leave their feelings behind.
Mike was finishing clearing up when Naomi stopped by to deposit her gear.
“I wish I could say that never happened.”
Mike wouldn’t meet her eyes.
“I’ve never heard of Casings behaving that way before, or he’d have been off all my squads long ago. The soldiers, they’re given more leeway than they should be. The people in charge, they don’t mind if we’re a little rough around the edges. They think that makes us better soldiers and I don’t even want to imagine why. I can only say I’m sorry, and I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again. I thought he was my closest…”
Naomi heard the betrayal Mike felt, his voice dripping with it. She gripped his hand in her own, seeing another who needed comfort and unburdening.
“Mike, would you,” her voice caught in her throat.
What if he said no? Military, she knew, might be different. Their lives were so alien to her. She plowed on despite her doubts.
“Would you like to take comfort?”
She stood before him, sweat breaking out on her forehead from the effort of keeping her emotions in check, desperate to avoid the counseling that would tear her away from everything.