by Nick Molloy
‘No, I leave that to people like Nick, I find it tacky’ !!!
‘That’s strange, the other guy, said all you strippers play the gay scene’ retorted Simone.
‘Not me’ said Nevergayray puffing out his chest
‘I’m sure he said you played the gay scene as well. Me and my mate are shagging him next week, we’ll ask him again’ said Simone leaving Nevergayray flat footed.
Nevergayray has played every gay venue under the sun ! In a well known gay venue in Blackpool, he had nailed his poster to the wall. A cheeky chap of a Northern stripper called AJ had written on it ‘Nice body, but do you have a cock’ ? Nevergayray obviously returned to the said venue because the next time I was there he had retorted ‘you don’t need a cock with a body like mine’. Once he came off the steroids he began to shrink rapidly back to his normal size losing approximately 40lbs. His cock remained unchanged.
The last poster I saw of myself in northern climbs had ‘I love AJ’ tattooed on my arm. Working with AJ and his Real Monty group was a pleasure. Again, my Northern brethren were much easier to get along with than their southern counter-parts.
A good stripper should be able to play either audience and adapt to any circumstance. However, I find the female audience somewhat perplexing at times. From a distance they are much easier to play than their gay counterparts. When a stripper arrives at a venue, the drag queen may have already started a show. The women will typically scream as you enter the room. I’m a total stranger who hasn’t done anything, yet, I am lauded as something special. I find this odd, as before giving my appreciation I would like to be impressed first. However, this is logical thinking and Ladies Nights are not logical.
I have met many a stripper who has bitched that the women haven’t screamed enough for them (even though my eardrums have burst). Screaming inflates egos and if future screams don’t reach the desired level, stripper hissy fits can result.
Some strippers are not what the name implies. They have been initiated into a troupe such as the Bell Ends or the Aphrodite Occasion. These guys rarely strip beyond a g-string and are served up a screaming audience in a large venue, protected by their other troupe members. When they get brave and perform a ladies night out on the solo circuit with a few rough, demanding birds who shout ‘OY YUL BRINNER – GET YOUR FUCKING COCK OUT’ (as they did with Timberland – who is aging and bald), egos can get a little bruised. With that said, I have noticed a trend on Ladies Nights where the women are noticeably attracted to older men. On the gay scene it is the complete opposite, the meat has to be very tender for most of them. ‘Chickens’ as they are termed (youngsters) are generally the preferred flavour. A high proportion of women however, seem to prefer their meat grizzled and burnt.
At nearly every Ladies Night I am approached by a fortysomething afterwards who opens with ‘I couldn’t watch you…….you reminded me of my son’. I doubt if there are anywhere near as many dads out there who would worry about watching a stripper who was the same age as their daughter! Yet, female sexuality somehow seems to forbid them bedding a considerably younger man. Some of the approaching fortyish brigade are even more put out when I tell them I am nearly old enough to be their son’s dad, and that I have just aged well. I usually have to produce my driving license before they believe me.
Incidentally, whilst we are on the subject there are also a few other myths that need to be put right concerning ladies nights. Lots of women go for men who are a lot older. The same does not occur in reverse. A proportion of these women assume that age equals wealth and go away disappointed. However, others board the bus and go for a ride. I’ve watched it occur many a time with a perplexed look on my face.
Size does matter. The bigger the cock, the more they want to feel, touch and play with it. Uniboy seems to get his cock sucked on stage nearly every show. The smaller straight boys usually watch on with envious eyes.
Similarly, I have heard more than enough women claim that they don’t find male bodybuilders attractive. From what I have seen, there is also more than enough that do find them attractive. The more steroids the man takes, the more appealing he seems to become to his female audience.
Anyway, I digress. I have never really gone around with a decibel counter. Some ladies nights have women that scream louder than others. It is the competitive, snidey nature of these women that I have never understood. I have watched and observed on numerous occasions as the mood changes from one of adoration to hate when certain individuals don’t get their own way and then mobilize a force against the stripper.
I have never really felt threatened when stripping – ever. Twice in gay venues morons wanted to pick fights. The first I just whispered in his ear ‘you and me, outside in twenty minutes’ he was gone by the time I came out looking for him. The other I flung half way across the room and he was disposed off by the doormen. Morons like this are thankfully rare.
Nothing like this has ever happened on a Ladies Night with audience members, but things can sometimes become uncomfortable. Intimidating is too strong a word, but I have watched people turn very quickly in their outlook. The desire to leave a place where you no longer feel welcome is a strong one. Principally, this turn in feeling is borne out as a result of rejection.
In the gay venues people are generally very nice and courteous. Those that come up and speak to you are usually complimentary and curious with many questions. They are genuinely interested and pleased to make your acquaintance. I have no doubt many of them want to get into my knickers. I am sure I will have my fair share of detractors, but these people keep that opinion to themselves. The gay audience work more on the principle that if you have nothing nice to say don’t say it all.
The female audience don’t subscribe to this view. Male strippers are there to be used and abused if necessary. Some people come over just to be nasty. In some cases this nastiness is just a poor attempt at a chat up line. For example ‘you’re full of yourself, you are….you think you’re it don’t ya’ However, all that will do is raise the heckles of most people. In my getting laid is an art from world however, I can take an instant dislike to a woman and want to fuck her….very hard (provided she is attractive).
As a people watcher, I will regularly emerge after a performance, go and stand at the bar and began watching. The approaches will then begin. Sometimes women will approach with genuinely nice comments. Sometimes they approach just to be bitchy. As a general rule, the games have begun !
I defy anyone to successfully demonstrate to me that women, as a species, are genuinely sexual creatures. The ones I gravitate towards are ‘honorary blokes’. That is they think and act with male traits. However, the species as a whole does not operate like this. They would much rather make love than have sex. I’m an exhibitionist and embrace the concept of public sex. Live porn is so much better than a fake movie. Gay men have practiced such methods for decades. However, the term ‘dogging’ is largely a media creation. For the uninitiated, dogging is supposedly where straight couples go and have sex in secluded public areas whilst other watch their antics. Women however, rarely partake. I am a dogger. I like to be watched having sex. I get turned on even more watching other people get turned on by watching me.
Yet, in over three years of searching, I have never seen another couple having sex in public. It took me ages to find a girl willing to try it and when we did we were treated like gods. I would get out of the car and people would come over and shake my hand ! One hard core dogger even said that was the best thing he’d seen in eight years and the first time he’d seen a couple at it in a long time. Other doggers may exist but they are not in danger of becoming extinct after a prosperous period. Their numbers were never great in the first place. Women being less sexual than men, generally reject this sort of sexual behaviour. Love making is not conducive with rough sex in a car park whilst people shout encouragement from the sidelines ! Personally, their encouragement just acts as confirmation that we are doing the right kind of ‘missionary’ work. When so
mething is that good, why keep it to yourself. Share the experience.
Anyway, I’m standing watching at the bar, the women come over and begin their spiels with their many motives. I’m generally good at reading situations. I can usually tell if somebody is attracted to me or not (typically the ones I don’t want are attracted to me and the ones I want are not – or is that me being paranoid ?). If the signals are good I will reciprocate, but I am not really one for prolonged games. I will usually make it clear that if they seek a boyfriend for love making then I am not he. However, if they fancy a romp in the hay, then maybe we could go and find the nearest barnyard.
This attitude is often met with a look of horror and disgust (oh to be gay !). The look of horror is even worse if they have been asking questions about how much money I earn. Those that open with ‘are you going to buy me a drink then’ are met with ‘your round first’.
I have played the game a few times, but generally only when it has become like a contest. The instances of sober women actually responding to my direct line of questioning are negligible and this is with the benefit of ‘celebrity’ status. The gay venues have their ‘fag hags’. These women who hang around gay men are often my preferred quarry. They tend to have adopted some of the gay values. One night whilst standing at a bar watching, I was approached by a girl in a Swansea gay venue. ‘Your performance made me hot’. She sung at me in a lovely Welsh whisper. As an opening salvo they don’t get much better than that ! I quickly did my Terminator thing. That is, whereby I scan her up and down analysing hair colour, eyes, figure, etc. My internal data processor will then give a result. A couple of seconds later the words MATCH, MATCH, MATCH were flashing in my head. The grungy, petite rock chick before me with black hair and green eyes needed a good seeing to.
Ten minutes later we had descended to my changing area and were rutting on the floor like a pair of wild animals. This was an excellent result, yet despite that audacious opening, it nearly didn’t happen ! After some initial questioning, it had been established that the young lady was a student in a nearby halls of residence. Naturally, I suggested a quick car ride to her room was in order. She refuted this, despite clearly wanting to get naked.
I have always tried to respect the venue I have been in by not fucking its customers on the premises. This is even more important in a gay venue. My role is to sell a fantasy and fucking the female customers is a sure fire way to destroy that fantasy. On this occasion I let my morals slip and sneaked her downstairs, because it was clearly a case of now or never and I though now was better than never.
The question however must be, why was it a now or never situation ? Basically, the female of the species seems to lack pride in her sexuality compared to the male who usually revels in it. She couldn’t or didn’t want to be seen to be predating on a man (sexually). She was happy to be seen receiving attention from the said man (ego/self esteem issues) but didn’t want to be seen to actually have sexual urges and desires that she purged with the said man. Other females would then also see her actions and begin a counter-offensive against her based on subterfuge. After all, the said man would not be paying them the desired attention, so it is only reasonable that all parties are castigated. A campaign of lie and rumour could then have to be instigated.
I have seen this situation a thousand times before and decided I wanted to get laid. She did too, but in order to make it acceptable we had to do it illicitly (albeit on a carpeted pub floor in the cordoned off downstairs bar). The irony of all this, is that Miss Swansea was about as forward as they come.
That example repeats itself in many different guises time and time again. Another night I had a mate with me in a gay venue. It was a Saturday night at the White Swan in London, always a good mixed night. He was heavily on the pull, I was tired at the end of long evening having already done three shows.
At the end of the show he came up to me with a girl in tow who instantly began shouting my praises in the most awful of Essex accents. My Terminator assessment returned an open verdict. After I had been praised like a god I managed to sidestep her and continue my tour of the packed venue. My phone rang.
‘I’ve got that bird in the car, she wants you. Hurry up before she changes her mind, we can go back to mine’ He clearly wanted to fuck this girl, but she had eyes only for the celebrity and he wasn’t into sharing anyway. I had pulled a girl when I with him once before. We only had one car and when she got in it and saw him, she simply said ‘I’ve never had two men before….’ His eyes nearly popped out of his head and I had to hold him in to prevent him from exiting the moving vehicle.
On this occasion, as an open verdict had been returned I was willing to be dutiful and do the deed for him. Indeed, I told him to leave his bedroom door open and then maybe he could get a good eyeful. As it turned out the girl worked for the police (not our favourite public workers due to their reluctance to catch criminals but a dogged determination to root out doggers, gays and motorists). The spare mattress was laid out on his living room floor and he retreated to his room (leaving the door open). My god like powers of celebrity were clearly waning by the time we got back to his. She was far less keen to get in my knickers than she had been in the club. Perversely having been set the challenge of getting into hers, my interest was rising and now she had less clothes on I could also now see a fantastic pair of tits that had been otherwise obscured.
What ensued was an all too common occurrence. I scored the goal eventually, but it took me all night to get there. She was willing, but reluctant at the same time. Some people get turned on by someone playing hard to get. I just get bored and irritated. In this instance we were playing a game however and I had to try and show my mate the wares.
When we finally crossed the line of no return, in the dim half light of a rapidly approaching summer’s morning, she suddenly became conscious of his potential to watch.
‘He could be watching’ she said anxiously.
‘Don’t be silly’ I said as I rode her from behind whilst waving to him who was eagerly, but surreptitiously watching from his lair.
I am used to having sex in public and usually get turned on by it. Yet, this situation felt strange. Having sex in front of a really close mate, knowing he wanted to be where I was left me with a slightly empty feeling.
In the full light of morning when my mate rejoined us in the living room, the police girl tried to deny anything ever occurred ! Before, I could even react he had pounced on her obvious mendaciousness.
‘What are you talking about ? I could hear it all from my room !’ he said with incredulousness.
‘No you didn’t’ came back the spoilt brat reply.
‘I heard you say Fuck Me, Fuck Me’ (which she did).
I drove her home and she said she wanted to meet again. I actually thought this might be a good idea. She had the potential to fuck well if she didn’t feel so inhibited. However, when I called her again a couple of days later her mood had changed considerably. She’d seen my website and had noticed I was writing a book. She now had a good mind to get the police around to confiscate the book ! Obviously, I told her to be my guest. Did I understand this behaviour ? Of course not.
There will be those out there who will claim that this sort of behaviour from the women I encounter is because they fall into a certain demographic grouping or category. I refute this completely. Firstly, I have pulled more women in gay clubs than on hen nights. The demographic grouping in those is more varied and widespread. Furthermore, I perform at a large number of private parties and their demographic covers the whole spectrum. It has been levelled at me that Ladies Nights have more of a ‘council estate crowd’. As a whole this is true and the 90% rule applies (ie 90% of a given population conform to a behavioural norm). However, I could hardly be called a good analyst and researcher if all my test subjects were from the same demographic. They are not.
Another night my quarry was a newly qualified medical doctor. She had an extremely posh accent and my tactics had to reflect
the prey. I even broke one of my own rules and took her out to dinner ! Over dinner she assured me that she never slept with anybody on the first date and that there was no way that would change. She repeated this a few times. We also got into a discussion of the location of Mt Kilimanjaro. For the uninitiated, it’s actually in Tanzania. She was most insistent that it was in Kenya. We settled the disagreement with a bet. If it was in Kenya, I would do anything she asked me to. If it was in Tanzania, she had to strip for me.
A little later, back at her place, her faced turned ashen as she stared blankly at her computer screen, informing her that Kilimanjaro is in Tanzania.
‘Where would you like me’ I asked with a certain degree of smugness.
She protested and persuaded me to strip first to show her how it’s done. I obliged and then began to help her undress.
‘You still can’t fuck me’ she snapped.
‘I know’ I said as I removed her bra and began nuzzling a nipple.
Eventually, after a long campaign I removed her knickers and began rubbing my erect phallus up and down gently against her clit.