Should've Been Us

by Jess Bryant

  Dirty, filthy, sexy ideas.

  He had to push the images of her in nothing but her bra and panties to the back of his mind, again. He’d been so damn good last night. He’d barely even let himself look, barely even glanced at her beautiful, lithe, strong dancers body. He hadn’t taken advantage of her drunkenness. So he wasn’t going to feel guilty for going back to his room and taking care of the situation she’d caused with his own hand.

  Wasn’t the first time he’d jacked off to thoughts of Lulu but he damn sure hoped it was the last.

  He wanted her there, with him. Her hands on him. Her mouth on him. He wanted her under him, wrapped around him, chanting his name.

  “Fuck.” He muttered as he grabbed the largest cup he could find at the buffet and filled it with hot coffee.

  He had to stop. He had a chance, a small chance, but a chance. This was the first time in twenty years Lulu wasn’t following Derek around like a shadow and Connor wasn’t going to screw it up by showing his hand too early. He was going to play it cool and make it through today with her without kissing her. Or killing her.

  With Lulu, the girl that twisted up his head and his heart, those two things seemed to go hand in hand.

  The more she annoyed and frustrated him, the more he wanted to kiss her. He wasn’t sure exactly when he’d gone from imagining shaking her until her teeth rattled to imagining her shaking through an orgasm beneath him, but it hadn’t happened yesterday. It had been a long time coming and it had taken him a while to accept it himself, to realize that the need he had to set her straight about Derek was twisted up in his own need for her.

  It had taken him a long time to realize he could simultaneously hate her and love her, want to yell at her and hold her.

  Up until now, she’d only ever given him the chance to do the yelling.

  He finished adding the two packs of sugar and the cream Lulu liked to the cup and then snapped on a lid. He could have yelled at her for this. He’d brought her coffee as a nice gesture this morning but it had been more than that. He’d brought her coffee exactly how he knew she liked it. But had she said a word about that? Had she even noticed that he made it the way she liked? Nope. She’d just downed the thing like it was a drug and she needed her fix and then sent him to get her more because it hadn’t been enough.

  He hadn’t yelled at her though. He hadn’t said a word. Because this week he intended to get the chance to hold her and yelling at her wasn’t going to get him any closer to that goal.

  Connor smiled at the group of women that passed him as he headed back to the bungalow. His eyes didn’t linger on them for a second but still they giggled once his back was to them. He couldn’t say the attention didn’t feel good. It did. It always had. But the only woman he wanted looking at him like he was a piece of meat these days mostly looked at him like he was meat and she was holding a carving knife.

  The thought made him chuckle to himself and he was so distracted he swiped his key card over the automatic lock and nearly ran smack into the door when it didn’t open. Connor frowned and swiped again. It stayed red and he cursed under his breath for being an idiot.

  He’d made Lulu promise she wouldn’t lock him out, but she didn’t have to. The door had locked behind him automatically. He didn’t have a key to her room. He was holding the key to his own room next door but of course that wasn’t going to work.

  He grinned to himself as he headed for his room. If she thought she could keep him out that easily she had another thing coming. He’d barely been gone ten minutes and he suspected she was still in the shower. So long as that was the case the door between their rooms would still be open and he could get back in that way.

  “Bingo.” He unlocked his door and saw that the one across the room still stood open. He wasn’t a creep. He wouldn’t have gone through without warning her he was coming in if he’d known she was standing there. He’d thought there was no way she’d be out of the bathroom and yet, as soon as he stepped through the door, he stopped in his tracks. “Woah.”

  Lulu shrieked and spun to face him, “Jesus Christ, you about gave me a heart attack!”

  He blinked but he couldn’t find the words to tell her that she’d just about given him one. He’d seen her last night in nothing but her lingerie. Lace and satin. She’d rolled her eyes when she told him it covered as much as a swimsuit but looking at her now, like this, he realized that had been a lie. That bra and panties she’d been wearing last night covered a hell of a lot more of her than that skimpy little string bikini.

  God she was gorgeous.

  She’d pulled her hair up into a bun on top of her head, messier than the one she sported when she was dancing. It was still damp from her shower and it looked nearly black in this light. The makeup that had smeared her pretty face when he left was gone. Instead, she looked fresh and wide-eyed, her lashes as dark as her hair and her lips a bubblegum pink. But it was her body that made him lose the ability to speak because never in his life had he seen so much of her on display and his hands practically itched to pull at those flimsy strings and see that suit hit the floor.

  He could have her naked in seconds. His hands on her skin. Her mouth under his. He could…

  “Connor!”

  Her voice snapped him out of his dirty thoughts and he blinked. He refocused on her face and had to hide a wince. She’d clearly said his name more than once from the way she was looking at him. Her hands were on her hips now, her lips pursed and her eyes narrowed and he knew that she’d caught him staring and was about to go on the defensive.

  “What?”

  “I said, you’re staring.” She growled.

  “Sorry.” He fumbled with the coffee cup distractedly, “It’s just… you look… Is that what you’re wearing to the beach?”

  “No, I thought I’d wear a parka.” She rolled her eyes, “Of course this is what I’m wearing. Why? Do you have a problem with that?”

  “No. Just, put on some sunscreen.”

  It was a stupid thing to say but it was the only thing he could think of. What was he supposed to say? That yes, he did have a problem with her wearing that swimsuit in public because he’d have to threaten every man on the beach to stay the hell away from her? He couldn’t go there. Not yet. Not when she was clearly itching for a fight so he went with a dumbass sunscreen remark and still, she hissed at him.

  “Is that supposed to be funny?”

  “What? No.”

  “Because the suit is small and I’m showing so much skin? If you want to tell me to cover up, just say it, Connor.” She grabbed a pair of equally skimpy cut-off denim shorts and leaned over, slamming one leg and then the other into them before standing back upright and pulling them over her hips, “I don’t appreciate the snide remarks.”

  “I wasn’t being snide.” He groaned.

  “No?” She slammed a pair of sunglasses onto the top of her head and glared at him.

  “No.”

  “You’re not going to tell me I look cheap? Or that I don’t have the body for it?” Her glare turned wary, suspicious, “No low blows to throw at me this morning?”

  He swiped a hand over his face, hating that they’d come to this, that all she ever expected from him was to hit her where it hurt so he shook his head and dropped his hands into a shrug, “You don’t look cheap. You look beautiful, Lu.”

  She seemed even more taken aback when he was nice to her and he cursed under his breath. Jesus, he had his work cut out for him. It didn’t matter what he said, it was always the wrong thing. She always assumed the worst because that’s what he’d trained her to expect with all of his thinly veiled remarks about her needing to get over Derek and stop letting him toy with her emotions.

  Her dark brows knit together and her equally dark eyes studied his face. She opened her mouth like she was going to say something and then closed it. The confusion settled deeper and he had to resist the urge to yell at her for not saying anything. He’d just told her she was beautiful and her reaction was to
look at him as if he’d grown two heads. He wanted to kiss the confusion right off her gorgeous face but instead he only sighed.

  “If you’re ready to go, we should get to the beach. We’re gonna be late as it is.”

  “I… um, yeah okay.” She finally nodded.

  Connor watched as the moment passed them by without her even noticing. She slid her feet into a pair of flip flops and then tipped the sunglasses down over her eyes. She held her hand out and he handed her the coffee cup he’d all but forgotten he was holding. He even ignored the way her fingers brushed his and the way her little pink tongue darted out to swipe at that pretty pink mouth as she pulled away from him.

  “Well, let’s go then.” Her voice sounded soft and he knew that behind those sunglasses she was still giving him that confused look that annoyed the hell out of him.

  What was there to be confused about? He’d said she was beautiful. He’d complimented her. He’d gotten her not one but two cups of coffee. He was practically bending over backwards to be nice to her and not start a fight and she hadn’t said thank you for any of it.

  “Are you going to put on a shirt?” His voice was rougher than he’d meant for it to be and she stepped back from him.

  “Nope.”

  He’d thought it was a reasonable question. She’d put on shorts. Why wouldn’t she put on a shirt? But from the tone of her voice clearly he’d said the wrong thing. Again.

  She turned and headed for the door without him and he growled as he followed after her. Her cute little ass in those shorts was impossible to ignore. Her full, perky breasts in that tiny triangle top was a fucking invitation. And he couldn’t help the snarl that tore from his throat as he realized what he’d been missing.

  “You’re wearing that for him, aren’t you?”

  Lulu ignored him. She picked up her keycard and opened the door. She stepped outside, all but letting it slam in his face before he caught it and followed her out. He let it slam shut loudly behind him as he stomped after her, growing angrier by the moment as she didn’t deny his question.

  “You can’t honestly still think you have a chance with him.”

  “Shut up, Connor.” She snapped.

  “He’s getting married in four days! To someone else!”

  “I know that.” She pulled up short and ripped her sunglasses off to glare at him, “I don’t know where you get off talking to me like that or accusing me of wearing a swimsuit to the beach just to impress Derek, but you’re an asshole with no right. I’ve accepted that Derek is marrying Aubrey. I’m playing along. I’m smiling and going to the beach to build a fucking sandcastle with you like a good little bridesmaid or best woman or whatever the hell I am. What else do you want from me? I’m doing my best to move on so stop bringing him up.” She ran out of steam midway through and her words fumbled to a soft halt, “Please, just stop rubbing it in okay?”

  He stared down at her and felt his insane possessiveness begin to fade. He’d jumped to conclusions. He’d accused her of trying to steal Derek away from Aubrey right here in the middle of the resort where they were getting married in a few days. She was right. He was being an asshole and it was all because he wanted her for himself and he’d been insanely jealous of Derek for years.

  That was his issue. Not hers.

  “I’m sorry.”

  Her brows drew together again but before she could question his sincerity he shook his head.

  “I’m sorry. You’re right. I’ve been an asshole about this thing you and Derek have, had, and I’m sorry. I won’t bring it up again. I know this is hard for you.”

  Lulu bit into her bottom lip and blinked quickly. Shit. Were those tears turning her eyes glassy? She slammed her sunglasses back on and turned away from him.

  “Thank you.” She muttered as she started walking towards the beach again.

  They walked side by side in silence through the resort. It wasn’t as easy as it had been before his accusation and he silently cursed himself for being such an ass. All of the wins he’d been notching this morning were wiped clean in the span of one conversation.

  “I mean it.” Lulu finally spoke again as they stepped onto the white sand beach and caught sight of their friends already lined up near the water, waving to them. “Thank you, for everything. Getting me back to my room last night. Not giving me hell about the hangover. Bringing me coffee. Making sure I didn’t skip this today. It would have looked bad if I didn’t show up so… thank you for looking out for me.”

  His heart ached. He wanted to pull her into his arms and hug her. He wanted to promise her that he would always look out for her. Always. But since he knew they were treading on new and dangerous ground he only risked throwing his arm around her shoulder and grinning.

  “Of course, what are buddies for, right?”

  Chapter Five

  “You have got to be the worst sandcastle builder in the entire universe.” Connor groaned and Lulu stuck her tongue out at him.

  “You’re the architect of this catastrophe.”

  “I said to build a moat. How do you mess up a moat?”

  “A moat has water, Connor!” She raised her voice as she threw her hands in the air, “If you didn’t want me to put water in the moat you should’ve said so!”

  “You didn’t just put water in the moat you dumped a fucking pail of it on our castle and now it’s just a pile of sand.”

  “Newsflash genius, it was always just a pile of sand.”

  “You’re impossible.”

  “You’re ridiculous.” She shot back when he rolled his eyes at her and God help her if she wasn’t grinning.

  She was having fun. With Connor of all people. Jesus, she was seriously low on friends if she was resorting to playing with the enemy.

  Connor laughed, his deep chuckle making her smile widen. It wasn’t often that she heard him laugh. Usually if they were anywhere near each other they were fighting, but something had changed between them at some point between last night and today.

  She didn’t know what it was exactly. Connor had been nice to her for starters. He’d taken care of her last night, gotten her a drink when she needed one and then to her room when she’d needed to leave. This morning he’d brought her coffee and breakfast and made sure she didn’t bail on this stupid activity. He’d even apologized when he’d been an ass about her swimsuit and he’d told her she looked beautiful.

  Yeah, calling her beautiful had probably been what softened her towards him. She couldn’t remember the last time anyone had called her beautiful. Her parents and brother totally didn’t count.

  The rest of his good deeds didn’t hurt either. She’d really needed that coffee after all. They weren’t new best friends or anything but she also didn’t want to smack him in his too pretty face every time he opened his mouth. That was something right?

  Oh, they were still fighting. They’d been arguing and shooting barbed comments at each other all day. They’d yelled at one another so many times during this stupid sandcastle building game that Derek had threatened to separate them but Connor had held his hands up innocently and their friend had gone back to his fiancé without a backwards glance. They’d gone back to working together to complete the monstrosity that didn’t have a chance in hell of winning and they’d gone right back to arguing too.

  The difference was that neither of them had stormed off today.

  They’d stuck it out. Argued and fought and then let it go. They’d smiled and laughed together, something she wouldn’t have thought was even possible before today. But there it was, she was having fun fighting with Connor on the beach.

  And she could admit, at least to herself, that it was hard to let her anger get the best of her when he was wearing nothing but a pair of swim trucks.

  He might be rude. He might be condescending. He might be a know-it-all that got on her last nerve and she might want to punch him as often as she wanted to speak to him, but holy Christ the man was nice to look at.

  His skin was tan, gli
stening bronze with a mixture of sunscreen and sweat. His hair was damp from the water she’d thrown on him earlier in a fit of childishness and it was curling as it dried. His broad shoulders and biceps bulged as he scooped at the sand, trying to fix the damage she’d done. Trickles of ocean spray ran in rivulets down his well-defined abs, finding the creases and then the hem of his shorts which sat low on his hips, showing off that ridiculous V that made women lose their minds.

  She’d always thought she was immune to Connor’s good looks. She’d known he was handsome but it had never really affected her, at least not to the point that she couldn’t deny it. But watching him crawl around in the sand, hot and sweaty, looking sexy as hell, she had to bite her lip to keep from drooling.

  “Lu?”

  His voice jolted her out of the dirty thoughts she’d been having about just what lay beneath those board shorts. Shit. She jerked her eyes upward but it was too late. He’d caught her staring at him. She knew he had because that knowing smirk inched up his chiseled face and his eyes twinkled with amusement.

  “What?” She snapped, more annoyed with herself than with him in that moment.

  If he mentioned it at all, she swore she was going to stab him with the sand rake they’d been using to smooth out their work surface. He was accustomed to women staring at him. She’d been around him long enough to know that, to have seen it for herself. That was why she had always been so very careful not to let him catch her looking. Because she wasn’t one of his groupie bimbos that thought he was charming. No, he ruined that thought the moment he opened his mouth, every damn time.

  He sat upright on his knees on the ground. His hands were caked in wet sand. He stared back at her for so long with those fathomless blue eyes that she fidgeted uncomfortably. She’d never liked it when he stared at her and she’d certainly caught him doing it more times than he’d caught her.