“He’s as good as you, I’m guessing.” He looks up and down at me. I know I look like a mess. I haven’t combed my hair in maybe a week and the dark circles under my eyes get worse and worse every day. “He’s in New York with some of his family.”
I nod and look down. Despite everything, I hope he’s doing okay. I can’t believe he sent James all the way to Augusta for me. I pushed him away but he’s still there for me.
“Can I help you take your groceries in?” James asks.
“Sure, that would be nice.” I smile at him.
“I’ll meet you at your place.”
We arrive and he helps me with the groceries. Afterwards, he looks around my house suspiciously.
“Is everything okay?” I ask him.
“Yes. You have my number. Please use it if you need anything.”
Four hours later, I’m still unable to sleep. My phone rings in the other room but I can’t bother get up.
Minutes later, I hear knocking on my door. My body immediately reacts with fear. I do the breathing exercises I’ve been practicing and slowly make my way downstairs. Looking into the peephole, I’m floored when I see Sebastian. I stand there and stare, unable to believe what I’m seeing. I’m brought back to reality when he rings the doorbell and knocks again.
I open the door slowly. We don’t say anything as we stare at each other. A whole minute passes before he walks in, closes the door, and grabs me in a tight hug. I wince from the pain and he backs away muttering a curse. He reaches down and carries me around my waist and knees.
“Your room?” He asks. I can tell he’s angry, furious even, but he’s subduing it.
“Upstairs, second to the right.” I respond immediately. I think I’m in shock. I just stare at him.
Walking into my room, he sets me carefully on the bed. He takes out a suitcase from my closet and starts throwing clothes in.
What?
“W-What are you doing?” I ask when I find my voice.
“Where are your parents?”
“That doesn’t matter, Sebastian. What do you think you’re doing?”
He looks up at me. “Where are your parents, Isabel? I left you thinking you’ll be supported by your parents. That they’ll take care of you. And then I hear from James that you’re alone!”
“I want to be alone, Sebastian! It’s how I’ve always been.” I respond, staring intently into his angry eyes.
“Well, you don’t have to be anymore.” He sits next to me in bed and takes my face in his hands. He strokes my cheeks softly with his thumbs before leaning down to place a lingering kiss on my lips. “I’m here for you, Isabel, let me fucking be here for you.”
A whimper escapes me, and I reach up to mimic his hold on me. I hold his cheeks and bring our foreheads together. I close my eyes and breathe him in.
The world has been a colorless, joyless, and painful place for the last ten days. I couldn’t eat, sleep, or muster the energy to smile. Then he slides back into my life. He touches me, kisses me, and somehow breathes life into me again. I feel something good for the first time since the incident. I feel him.
“Have you even slept?” He tilts my face up to look at me. He looks worried and angry at my disheveled state. He swipes his thumbs back and forth under my eyes. “I thought it would help if I left you alone. Never fucking again. I won’t do it, not even if you want me to.”
He rests his forehead against mine once again.
“Why aren’t they here, Isabel?” He asks.
With both our eyes closed, I feel like I can say the truth. “Because they don’t care. They never did and they never will.” I whisper into his mouth.
“Pack your stuff, you’re coming to New York.”
“Sebastian, no. I can’t just come stay with you.” This is happening to quickly. Hours ago, I brought enough food to last me through Christmas.
“You pushed me away and I let you. I gave you time to think, and you look worse than I’ve ever seen you. Still beautiful, always unbelievably beautiful, but you look destroyed. So, you’re coming with me to New York, you’re spending your holiday with me, and I am going to make you better.”
“I- things are so complicated.”
“There’s only one priority here, and that is your health. You’re only getting worse here. Nothing else matters. You’re coming to New York, Isabel.”
“What time is the flight?” I ask Sebastian as James drives us to the airport. I’m tucked to his side as he plays with my hair.
He chuckles in response to my question, and I realize why when I see ‘Carter Industries’ written on a private jet twenty minutes later.
I sleep throughout the journey and once we reach his apartment in Manhattan, I get nervous. His dad and uncles are here, and I’m about to meet them. I met his dad briefly at the hospital, but it was so chaotic I hardly spoke to him.
“Sebastian. I look horrible.”
“Beautiful.” He responds, pulling me into his body. “Always beautiful.”
I feel the heat of my blush as I rest my head on his chest. He strokes my back a few times before tilting my face up. “Ready?” He asks and I nod.
He opens the door and I’m stunned by the apartment. Walking into the living room, I look at the white and beige themed apartment. Oil paintings are on the walls and it’s almost like a gallery in here.
We hear laughter coming in from ahead of us.
“Come on.” Sebastian says and takes my hand. We walk into the bar room and see Edmond and Sebastian’s three uncles. They all look classy and handsome in their well-fitted suits.
“Hi, everyone.” Sebastian hugs his dad and uncles before pulling me further into the room.
“Hey!” I say with a smile.
“He’s not shouting, breaking things, or threatening to kill us. What a transformation a day can make.” One of the men says and they all laugh. I frown hearing this, I never wanted him to suffer.
“Stop worrying her, Uncle Keenan.” Sebastian chides with a smile. “Guys, this is Isabel. Isabel, these are my uncles Charles, Keenan, and Hugo.”
“Nice to meet you all.” I say with a smile.
They smile back but it’s tight. Are those worried glances they’re giving each other? Why would they look worried? I look up to see if Sebastian noticed, but he’s smiling at me.
Charles clears his throat. “Great to have you here with us, Isabel. This boy has been intolerable.”
“I wasn’t that bad.” Sebastian claims.
“Seb, you screamed at Roberto for overcooking your eggs.”
Sebastian winces. “Is he around? I should probably go apologize.”
“In the kitchen.” Edmond responds.
“I’ll be back.” Sebastian kisses my head and walks off.
They offer me a seat and I take it nervously. “Edmond, I just wanted to say thank you for everything you did for me. It really meant a lot.”
“Of course, Isabel. You’re important to Sebastian. Anything you need, let us know. How are you feeling?”
“Better, thank you. And your son means a lot to me too.” I respond.
“I’ve noticed. You guys seem very passionate about one another.” Hugo says but phrases it like a question.
I want to lighten up the mood. “Have you seen him?” I widen my eyes for effect, and it works, they all laugh, and the tension decreases a bit.
“He gets his looks from me.” Keenan says, proudly.
“Shut up. He’s a carbon copy of me when I was young.” Edmond responds.
“He’s better looking than you ever were, old man. Come on Isabel, who would you prefer for Sebastian to look like when he grows up? Me or Edmond?” Keenan asks. To be honest, for men in their forties, they’re very much in shape.
“I really don’t think I should be checking out my …” I pause, “guy’s father or uncle. Too incestuous for me.” I say through a laugh.
“Come on!” Charles says. “If you had to.”
“Nope, my loyalties are to that bo
y.” I point my finger towards Sebastian as he comes in.
“What are you guys talking about?” Sebastian asks and sits next to me on the couch.
“We’re trying to figure out who Isabel thinks is better looking, your father or Keenan.” Charles clarifies.
“Not this again. You guys are ugly and old.” Sebastian smiles cheekily.
“No, they’re not!” I defend, slapping him on the chest. “Look, you’re all weirdly good looking.” I hear Sebastian growl behind me, making all of us laugh. I look at him. “Just saying.”
“Are you hitting on my dad and uncles?” Sebastian asks.
“No! Ew.” I look at the men. “Oh my god, I don’t mean ew, you’re not ew. It’s just that you’re all as old as my dad. You are good looking but not in the ‘I’d be down’ sort of way.” I cringe and they all laugh. “Okay, I’m going to stop talking now.”
“You’re so fucking cute.” Sebastian hugs me to him.
Chapter 14
Sebastian
I watch as she sleeps in my bed. I stroke my fingers down her bare back. Her round ass calls to me and I grab it gently. I grunt in approval. Does she know what her body does to me? How I feel like an animal when it comes to her?
I watch her sleep. So beautiful. Oblivious and hopeful.
I walk out of the room and to the bar where my dad and uncles are.
I pour myself a glass of whiskey and rejoice at the first sip. I close my eyes and tip my head back.
“It wasn’t a good idea bringing her here.” Hugo says.
“I know.” I respond, looking out of the ceiling-high windows.
“Then why did you do it?” He responds.
“I can’t help it with her. She makes me do things I shouldn’t do.”
“She loves you.” Charles comments and I flinch. “You’re engaged to someone else, Sebastian.”
“All our lives, we’ve put our family first.” Keenan adds. “We can’t stop now.”
“I know.” I chug my drink and go back into my room. I slip into bed and pull her to me, ignoring the hardening of my cock at her scent. I hold her close.
“Will you forgive me?” I kiss her head. “Please forgive me.”
Chapter 15
I wake up the next day at one pm. We slept for almost thirteen hours. Wow. Feels freaking amazing.
I smile at Sebastian’s strong hold on me. We’re facing each other with our bodies intertwined and his cheeky hand on my ass.
My smile disappears when that night comes to mind. I know I’m more to him than a fuck buddy. That much is obvious. But then what’s holding him back from labeling us? I can’t be in the grey area anymore … I don’t want to set myself up for heartbreak. But I also don’t want to lose him. So, if we have to become friends then so be it.
I’m frustrated not knowing why he said no when it’s obvious he cares for me. I carefully untangle myself from him and get dressed. I need time to think. Walking out of the room, I look at each piece of artwork closely. Once in the living room, I see a bunch of pictures and many of a young Sebastian.
“Good morning.” I turn around when I hear Edmond’s voice.
“Morning.” I respond.
“I’ll ask Roberto to get you some breakfast.”
“Oh, I can wait for Sebastian.”
“I don’t think he’ll be awake for a while. He hasn’t been sleeping much.”
“I’m sorry about that. From what I heard from you and your brothers, Sebastian hasn’t been doing well.”
“It’s not your fault.” He smiles at me. “I’ve never seen Sebastian so … erratic. But it’s not a bad thing. He’s always been so easygoing. He’s had many girls,” I flinch when he says that, “ah, you don’t like hearing about them?”
“Nope. If I can pretend Sebastian was a virgin when we met, I would.” I feel nauseous at the idea of him with others.
“I’m glad that you seem as affected by him. I was worried he was crazy about a girl who wasn’t as crazy about him. I hope I don’t annoy you by continuing my previous thought, but what I was saying is, not one girl has ever ruffled his feathers. Not one has ever made him feel anything. Then you came along, and he tells me that the way you look at him makes him feel like a god and in return, he wants to bundle you up in a blanket and protect you. And I saw it last night, you look at him like he is the most exotic and beautiful thing in this world. You love my son.”
My cheeks blush at his words and I’m unable to answer.
“I like you, Isabel.” I detect a pinch of sadness in his tone. “He’d do anything for you.”
“And I’d do the same for him.” I respond honestly. Roberto walks in and places a tray of food in front of me. I dig in as Edmond and I continue on to mundane topics. I tell him about my classes, the charity I volunteer for, and our friends back in Sawson. He updates me about Jeremy and Michael. They’re going away for a long time. Jeremy to jail and Michael to a psychiatric hospital. Regardless, Edmond pulls strings and includes a stipulation that both men are not allowed to live in the same state as Selena and I.
I thank him all over again.
“You look more tense today.” He says. Does he notice how unsure I am about Sebastian?
“I think … I need to think.” I laugh at my weird sentence and so does he.
“Why don’t you go to the jacuzzi? It’s downstairs to the left. The jets are strong and feel just like a massage.”
I thank him and go upstairs to fetch my bikini. Ten minutes later, my eyes are closed, and my body and mind relax in this bubble of heaven. I try to figure out what to do about that night, that rejection.
If he doesn’t want me as a girlfriend, I can’t continue like this. The confusion and ambiguity of what we are will drive me crazy. We’ve been pretending like that night didn’t happen. But the vicious weight on my shoulders and the unease in my heart can’t be ignored. If he doesn’t want us to be together, I’ll suggest being friends. But can we actually just be friends?
“Hey.” I hear from behind me. Turning, I see him wearing low-riding blue trunks. I bite my lip as I look at him. Reaching out, I caress his eight-pack then sit up on my knees to touch his wide chest and arms. I frown as I outline his lips with my thumb. Can I live without his kisses? Can I live without seeing his hazel eyes?
“Isabel?”
I snap out of my contemplation at his worried tone. He reaches to grab my waist, but I move back.
“Isabel.” He threatens and rushes into the Jacuzzi. “Not this again.”
“W-We need to talk.” I say as he grabs me around the waist.
“Then we’ll talk like this.” He demands, sitting down and pulling me so that I’m straddling him.
“Sebastian!” I chide. “I can’t think like this.”
“I want you,” he pulls my face up so I look at him, “to sit here, feel me, touch me, and let me touch you. So, that whatever you say, whatever doubts you may have, you feel my desire for you and how much you mean to me.”
Why is he spouting out words of devotion now? Where was this guy back in Sawson? I try to wiggle away but he doesn’t let me.
“Isabel.”
“You hurt me!” I burst out loud. I’m looking at his chin, unable to look into his eyes.
“Angel.” He reaches up to stroke my cheek.
“No. You hurt me, you hurt me.” I clutch at my chest. “When you said no to being mine, to being my boyfriend. Because we were never just fuck buddies, not for a second. And if you had no intention of making me your girlfriend, you shouldn’t have led me on and acted like I was. You shouldn’t have made me fall.”
I take in a deep breath. “I wasn’t an idiot to think we were more. I didn’t misread the signs. You had me stay with you after the first break-in. You’ve taken care of me, you still care for me now, more than anyone ever has. You freaking brought me to New York! And right now, I’m just so fucking confused! Because I can’t relate the guy who treats me like I’m his everything to the one who doesn’t want to be m
y boyfriend. It makes no sense. And it’s twisting me up inside, making me feel this … this …” I clutch at my chest again.
“Angel.” He tries to interrupt.
“This pressure!” I say out loud finally looking at him. “This pressure because I am falling so hard, so fucking obsessively hard, and I need you to catch me. I need you to catch me because I don’t know what will happen to me if you don’t.”
Taming Sebastian (Sawson's Royal College Book 2) Page 16