“Isabel!” He pleads, but I need to get everything off my chest.
“So, I’m telling you now. If you don’t want me, if you don’t want me as your girlfriend, tell me now and I will deal with it. I want lines drawn. I want to know what we are. Either I’m your girlfriend or we’re just friends but -” I’m speaking so quickly at this point.
“Isabel!” Sebastian does something I do not expect. He dunks us both into the jacuzzi, grabs my face under water, and kisses me.
As we surface. I’m breathing heavily.
“I’m yours!” He shouts and pulls me on his lap to rub my arms. “I am so yours, I am your man, your boyfriend, your best friend, your confidant. I’ll be whatever the fuck you need me to be. Look at me!” He caresses my cheeks as my tears fall from the intensity of this moment. “I will catch you, as long as you catch me too. It’s you, only you. Everything which is here,” he places my hand on his head, “everything here,” he places my hand on his heart, “and everything here,” he surrounds his cock with our hands, “is all yours. I’m here, Isabel. I am yours.”
Looking frantic, he grabs my face and slams his lips on mine. I pull him as close as possible, kissing him with every ounce of my being.
“You’re mine.” He growls out loud.
“You’re mine, too.” I respond.
“Yours.” He promises. I need him, more than any time before, I need Sebastian Carter as my boyfriend, inside of me.
We’re kissing desperately. I rake my hands down his neck and back, leaving marks. But so does he. He leaves a trail of marks from my neck to my right nipple, which he sucks in hard.
“Sebastian, inside me!” I reach down to release his cock and bite my lip when I see how endowed he is. He grabs my hip in one hand, moves my bikini to the side, and pulls me down on him.
He roars and I scream at our contact. He doesn’t give me time to adjust. He pulls me on and off of him, holding me hostage as he dominates me, thrusting up into me while pulling me down. He pushes the triangles covering my boobs to the side and stares at my chest.
He seems wild, uninhibited, and manic. He looks me in the eye and fucks me harder and deeper.
I’m just as crazy as him. I bite his shoulder as I take control and ride him harder and faster than ever.
“Holy fuck.” He groans. We look at one another as I sway my hips back and forth, quick … quicker … harder.
“Fuck me, my girlfriend, my beautiful, beautiful girlfriend has the tightest cunt.”
My pussy spasms at his words and a powerful orgasm rocks through me.
I found my person, the person to complete me.
“I feel your pussy tightening on my cock, holy shit!” He shouts, then picks me up from the water.
“I can’t fuck you hard enough in here.” He complains, before laying me down on the floor. Half his legs are still in the jacuzzi as he pulls me by my hips and thrusts deep inside me.
My eyes roll back. He slams into me over and over again while I cry out at every thrust. He grabs my breasts and pushes them together.
“I’m going to have my cock here one day.” He promises. “I’m going to own every inch of your body.” He thrusts hard as he flicks my nipples with his thumbs before leaning down to leave marks on both breasts.
He grabs my ass in his hands and lifts me. He gets in deeper this way.
“Look at me.” He demands and I do.
Another orgasm builds. He kisses me, continuing his savage thrusts, then reaches between us, and all it takes is one flick on my engorged clit to fly me over the edge.
I scream his name over and over. He stops his movements and watches me come. I look up at him once I catch my breath and he’s staring down at me, still inside of me. He picks me up and without removing himself from my body, he sits on the bench of the jacuzzi.
He’s panting and so am I, but he’s not done.
“One more.” He commands.
“I can’t.” I whimper when he slowly starts moving inside of me. I tuck my head in his neck as he continues his soft movements.
“Yes, you can.” He whispers as he slowly speeds up. He’s taking me deep but slow this time. He places my forehead on his and we breathe air into one another. He watches me moan through every thrust then leans down to suck a nipple in his mouth. I whimper from the pleasure and pain it brings from how sensitive my body is.
I’m building … and building in a different way than ever before. It feels like a tornado is mounting in my body. It hurts, the pressure that needs to be released, hurts.
“Sebastian.” I moan out loud, vibrating with the sensitivity I feel, with the euphoria I feel.
“Yes, angel, give it to me.” I lean down and bite his neck ferociously.
“I’m going to have every inch of you.” He promises again. His hands trail down my spine until he reaches my ass. He grabs my cheeks and plays with my ass. He digs his nails into my skin as I continue riding him. His thumb eases between my checks, to my untouched territory.
He puts pressure on my rosebud, circling it and it feels so foreign. “Seb.”
“I’m going to claim you in every way. I’m going to fuck your ass one day, Isabel. You’re going to love it. You love every filthy thing I do to you. Imagine my cock in your ass. Do you want my finger in here, you dirty girl?” Oh my god, yes!
I come the second his thumb enters my ass. He grabs my hips and thrusts into me and shouts out his release.
I feel … undone. I feel raw. I feel too much.
Thirty minutes pass and we sit quietly cuddling in the jacuzzi.
“Why’d you say no?” I whisper into his neck.
“Hmm?” He strokes my cheek as I look up at him.
“Before, why’d you say no?” I respond, needing to know.
“Cause I’m an idiot.” He frowns and looks away in apprehension. “It … it doesn’t matter anymore. Nothing does, just you and I.”
“You said there were things?” I ask, not completely confident in his response.
“I should’ve said yes. I should’ve asked you. You’re mine, you belong to me, and I’ll do everything in my power to keep it that way.” He says determinedly.
I frown. Why is he saying that like there’s something keeping us apart? “Is everything okay?”
“Yes.” He leans forward and places a soft kiss to my lips. “Bella?”
“Mhmm.” I respond, cuddling into his chest.
“Talk to me about your parents. Tell me about you. I know so much and yet I feel like there’s a whole part I don’t know. Help me understand the side of you that leans into my touch every time I palm your cheek, the part that thrives under my compliments and who comes from me calling her my girlfriend. Why didn’t they love you like they should’ve?”
“It’s … I’ve wanted to talk to you about this for a long time.” I look down, ashamed about my past.
“Tell me.” He says.
“I-I don’t think you’re going to like what I’ll say. I’m scared you’ll think differently about me afterwards.”
“I won’t.”
“I don’t even know where to start.” I fidget on his lap and realize he’s still inside of me.
“My parents aren’t good people. My father has never been there for me. He was, is the clichéd absentee rich rather. He never gave me attention, never spoke to me beyond the obligatory small talk. He was more absent in my life than present. The only reason he came to my graduation is because I threatened to cause a scene if he didn’t. I had to threaten my parents to come to my graduation. How sad is that? It’s not like he was malicious, he just didn’t c-care. He was completely apathetic when it came to me.” I wrap my arms around myself.
“My mom…” I shudder thinking about her. Sebastian strokes my back softly. I look into his eyes quickly then back down at his chest.
“My mother is even worse. I don’t know who I preferred. An ignorant father or a vicious mother? When I was young, I preferred my mother even though she was horrible. In my young mind, that meant th
at she at least cared. She was abusive. Ever since I was six years old, she used to demean me, call me overweight, tell me it’s a shame I didn’t inherit her genetics. She always compared me to her friends’ children and I always fell short. I tried so hard to please her, but it never worked. I used to cover my twelve-year-old face in make-up. I spent so much money in salons so I can look perfect, so she can accept me.” I tear up remembering everything I did to get her to love me.
“I … I was anorexic at one point because she kept pushing me to lose weight. Her words made me believe I was hideous. I would eat five hundred calories a day, then one day would come where I would binge so much that I end up puking. It was during this time that she finally said I look beautiful. To help, she put me on a diet plan so I can eat eight hundred calories a day instead. She said five hundred calories would age me too quick and no one would want me then. That narcissistic bitch.
“She made me into this shy, insecure, snobby child. No one wanted to be my friend. I didn’t understand that you had to be nice to others. I treated them like my mother treated me and I was so confused. Why didn’t they want to be my friend? I thought something was wrong with me.” I shudder as tears fall down my face.
“It’s okay, it’s okay.” Sebastian says through clenched teeth. “You don’t have to continue now, I get it.”
“There’s more.” I lean back and look at him. “This part, you’ll probably hate.”
“Whatever you say, it won’t change the fact that you’re mine.”
I wipe my tears and find the courage I need to say the next part.
“I lost my virginity at fourteen.” I feel his hands tighten on my thighs. “I lied to Selena because I was disgusted with myself. It was a random guy I met on a trip to Cancun. I was so excited to go. It was our first family trip. He was seventeen.” Rage radiates from him, so I run my hands up and down his chest.
“He gave me attention. All he had to do was call me beautiful and I went from never been kissed to having sex. He left me afterwards. And what’s worse? It was an experience I cherished because no one before him had made me feel beautiful or wanted. In hindsight, I know he used me, but I still cherished the experience then.”
I tell him about the aftermath, the way my mother called me a whore, hit me and forced a doctor to check whether I was a virgin or not. I told him how I flirted with men and became David’s plaything because I was dying for attention.
“But then I met Selena. She didn’t believe the rumors calling me a whore and we became friends. I think her parents saw the pain in me and so Sonya, her mom, spoke to me all the time about emotions and self-love. There’s so much love there and I finally understood what a family is meant to be. They fixed me in a way and gave me unconditional love. I never touched David again.”
When I’m done with my story, I realize I’ve tucked myself against Sebastian’s chest. I sit straight and see that he’s unfathomably angry.
“Sebastian?”
“You don’t need them.”
“What?” I ask.
“You. Do. Not. Need. Them.” He repeats through clenched teeth. “Don’t talk to them again. You are no longer theirs, you’re mine.”
“Sebastian, it’s okay.”
“I’m fucking livid that these people didn’t care for you like they should’ve! They’re your fucking parents!” He shouts.
I’ve never felt so … loved. I smile as I accept his words. “They don’t deserve anything, not even your anger.” I caress his face.
“I hate them.” He says indignantly.
“Me too.” I laugh and Sebastian frowns.
“You’re laughing?” He asks.
“I feel so relieved after saying all of that out loud. I’ve never told anyone.”
“You are the most beautiful person I know, inside and out.”
“Even after everything I’ve told you?”
“More so because of what you told me. You said it yourself when we first met. We are a representation of our parents. Yet despite your horrible upbringing, you are the most gentle and loving person I’ve ever met. You are kind, selfless, and you stay positive. Your beauty on the outside is obvious. Anyone with a dick will respond to you. But your inside is what obsesses me. You’re strong and you constantly stand up to me. You stand up for yourself even though you’ve been beaten down a million times. You grew up with no love and yet you have so much love to give.”
He holds my face in his palms. “You’re beautiful and so fucking mine. That’s it.”
“That’s it?” I ask with a smirk, but it dies down quickly. “When you rejected me the first time, all my insecurities came back. I thought I wasn’t enough for you either.” He stiffens at my words. “You can’t do that again, Sebastian.”
He looks away. “I won’t. But no matter what happens, never feel like you’re not enough again. Regardless of what happens to you in life. Hold your head up high. Be proud of who you are.”
We snuggle in the Jacuzzi.
“Thank you.” I tell him.
“For what?”
“For your words. They mean a lot to me. I’ve never seen it that way. Now, shall we go up? I’m getting wrinkly.”
“Yeah.” He reaches down and takes his cock out from inside of me and I pout playfully at the loss.
“I’ll be back in there soon, I promise.” He winks at me.
I stand up and freeze when I feel his come leaking out of my pussy.
“Oh my god!” I shriek. “Sebastian, we didn’t use a condom!”
He doesn’t respond so I look up and instead of acknowledging my words, he’s watching his come drip down my thighs.
“Sebastian!” I chastise. I smack him on the back of his head. “Get over your caveman antics and tell me what we’re going to do! I’m not on the pill! I can’t-AH!”
I’m interrupted when Sebastian ravishes me with a kiss. He bends me backwards, one hand grabs my ass and the other entangles in my hair.
When he releases me, I’m in a trance. That kiss was one for the books.
“Wait!” I snap out of it. “Did you not hear me?”
“Calm down, angel.” He says softly.
“I’m not on the pill! Do you realize-” I yell in fear.
I’m about to say more, but this time Sebastian pushes me against the wall and traps me as he seduces me with his lips.
“Let me speak.” He demands.
“How are you calm?! I can be preg-”
He kisses me over and over again until I’m finally subdued.
“Good.” He says once I’ve calmed down. “What did we just talk about? You’re mine. I’m going to take care of you. It’s not a big deal.”
My mouth hangs open. But his calmness calms me
“It’s the first time we’ve had unprotected sex. It’s very unlikely for you to get pregnant. And I’m clean. I get texted every six months and I don’t have unprotected sex, to begin with.” He looks down at my stomach and I gasp when he places his palm flat on my stomach. He smiles a sweet smile as he caresses my lower stomach with his fingertips.
“Sebastian?” I ask nervously because I swear it looks like he wouldn’t mind if I was pregnant.
He finally looks at me. “We’ll see a gynecologist ASAP. If you’re pregnant, we’ll deal with it. And if you’re not pregnant, then we’re putting you on some form of birth control, because the feel of your bare pussy was better than anything I’ve ever felt.”
Chapter 16
One and a half months later
Walking out of my psychologist’s office, I quickly send a text to Sebastian letting him know I had a good session, then rush out of the building to make it to my three o’clock class. I’ve been going to therapy twice a week to deal with my family, the kidnapping, and my deep-rooted insecurities. Speaking about it all feels liberating. The downside of therapy is that it dredges up memories I’ve worked my whole life to forget and so yay, more nightmares for me. But short-term pain for long-term gain. At least that’s what my ther
apist Grace says.
But no matter how bad the nightmare is, the hazel-eyed man I fell in love with is always there for me, listening to me, holding me. We get in arguments sometimes due to baseless jealousy, but recently because he’s working more and more with his father which stresses him out. He’s sometimes out till very late and arrives anxious and exhausted. I catch him looking at me in worry from time to time, but I chalk it up to his protectiveness.
Almost at college, I hear a familiar voice curse behind me. I turn and see James down the street. He’s picking his phone up off the floor.
Taming Sebastian (Sawson's Royal College Book 2) Page 17