‘We’re gonna get some water,’ Kiko shouted over the music to me as she and Soph headed to the bar. I stood by the wall, listening to the music and watching people dance. The DJ was good, I decided. I could feel my mind relaxing with each passing minute, as my body slowly felt for the groove until my rhythm finally connected with the beat. It was mostly house music, with some soul in the mix. My kind of vibe. Lost in the music, I felt fabulous. I was way past due for a night out on the town!
So there I was, dancing away in my own little world, among the crowd crammed onto the dance floor, sweat flinging everywhere. Occasionally, I’d have a look around to observe the people around me. I saw them as freedom-seekers. What were they thinking? What were they going through? What brought them here tonight? Each and every one of us had a completely different story, but right here, right now, we were sharing this experience together. It was a nice crowd. Everyone was here to feel good.
I did a little spin, a 180 on the dance floor to get a new view of my surroundings, and there he was in front of me: Seth. We smiled as our eyes met.
‘Hey you! How’s it going?’
I smiled so big I surprised even myself, and I dare say my heart skipped a beat. He was looking fiiine! He had on a black collared shirt and jeans, and his blonde messy hair was a bit wet with sweat. Very sexy.
‘Heeyyy! Isn’t this place great?!’ I couldn’t think of what to say.
‘Yeah, the DJ is a local chick who plays here every weekend. She’s really good, hey!’
‘So good. Oh my God! I haven’t danced in ages. It’s been way too long!’
We continued to dance, weaving around one another and finding a nice sync. It felt effortless with him. I dunno, sometimes it’s hard to connect with someone on the dance floor, and other times it’s no trouble at all. This was the easy kind. The song waned and moved into something else.
‘I need to get a drink,’ I said to him as I grabbed his shirt and tugged it so that he’d follow me to the bar.
Sophie and Kiko were still there, talking to a couple of other people.
‘Little bro, little bro!’ Sophie shrieked when she saw Seth, raising her bottle of water and tapping it on his forehead as she said, ‘Cheers!’
‘Hey sis, hey Kiko!’ He said, nodding his head as he acknowledged them.
‘You want anything?’ I asked him.
‘Yeah, a beer, please.’
I had to wait a few minutes before I could get the bartender’s attention and order a couple of cervezas.
‘You want anything?’ I asked Kiko who was standing next to me.
‘All good here, ta.’
I paid the dude and reached over to hand one of the bottles to Seth who was talking to his sister.
‘So, Zoe, I couldn’t help but notice you and Seth on the dance floor.’
I was a bit surprised at the words that came out of Kiko’s mouth, and felt a bit defensive. I didn’t say anything in response, so she continued.
‘Are you into him?’
She was super straight-faced as she made the suggestion, keeping her voice down. Nonetheless, I looked around nervously, hoping nobody had overheard her.
‘Um, I don’t know? I kinda think so? I guess?’
I suppose I had secretly known it already (and you’re probably rolling your eyes at the obviousness of it all), but this was the first time I was being asked to admit it.
‘Well, it’s obvious that he’s totally into you, Zoe, in case you hadn’t noticed.’ Kiko was not wasting any time getting to the heart of the matter.
‘You think so? Oh man, Kiko, I dunno. I mean, he’s my best friend’s little brother!’ And there it was: Fear. Doubt. Guilt.
‘Never mind all that for a sec,’ she said. ‘Are you into him or not?’
I paused, not knowing what to say, or not ready to say it. I took a deep breath, letting my eyes wander over to Seth. I paused briefly when my lungs were full, and then exhaled, letting out a big sigh.
‘Fuck!’ I said as I tilted my head back and rolled my eyes as I finally allowed myself to feel what I really felt.
‘Yeah. I’m into him.’
I looked back at Kiko, wondering what she was thinking. She stared at me blankly, and I could only assume that she didn’t approve. But then, her straight face turned into a wide, smiley grin before she spoke.
‘Nice! Your best friend’s little bro, way to pick ’em!’
Okay, that’s a better response, I thought, which lightened things up and made me feel more comfortable to talk about it, now that the cat was out of the bag.
‘Ugh! C’mon! What should I do? I’ve known him since we were both little, and I’m like family to these guys. It could ruin everything!’
‘Oh now, don’t you think you’re being a bit dramatic, Zoe?’ Kiko was obviously highly entertained by this.
‘I don’t know! I just… I mean… who knows if this is anything anyway? Is it worth the potential risk of upsetting Sophie and her parents?’
‘Chica, there’s no need to get all bent out of shape about this right now. Nothing’s even happened, has it?’
‘No, no, of course not!’
‘Then just enjoy the moment and see where it leads you. You’re getting all caught up in the future and it’s pulling you out of the beauty of the present moment! Look at him!’ We both looked over at him. ‘He’s cute, he likes you, you like him, we’re all out having fun. Just be here right now!’
She was enthusiastic about the whole situation, which helped me to think that maybe she was right.
‘Damn, you’re like a guru or something.’ I replied. Everything she said seemed so aligned with Teo. It made me wonder, so I had to ask.
‘Hey, do you know anyone by the name of Teo?’
‘Huh? Who?’ She looked sincerely confused.
‘Never mind, never mind, you just sound a lot like this guy I know.’
We tried to join in on the conversation with Seth and Sophie, but it only lasted about a minute before we all headed back to the dance floor.
‘How ya feeling, Sophie?’ I yelled at her over the music while the DJ kicked it up a notch.
‘Fabulous!’ She held up her water, pointed at it and winked.
‘Right on!’
And we danced our asses off for most of the night, having an unreal time.
CHAPTER
38
Sorry to disappoint, but I didn’t make out with Seth that night. Still, doesn’t a little flirtation, fun conversation and the knowledge of our mutual attraction count for something? I was feeling a bit groggy after our late night out, so we didn’t make it to breakfast until around 10:30am the next morning. Luckily it was Sunday brunch, so we hadn’t missed out. I’d only had two tequila shots, one beer, and the rest of the time just water, so I was feeling fine. Just tired, and as usual, hungry.
Seth had ended up spending the night at his friend’s place, but he joined up with us for brunch where we all had a good laugh going over the previous evening’s shenanigans. With his mouth still full of toast, Seth looked over at me and said, ‘Hey Zo, I’m hitting this really cool skate park before heading home. Wanna come with? I brought an extra board for Justin...’
‘Huh? Who’s Justin?’
‘Just in case!’ And the laughing fits began again.
‘For reals, Zo, let’s do it!’ he encouraged me.
‘Okay, sounds fun!’
‘That sounds perfect, Zoe,’ Kiko chimed in with a smile, ‘because we have to check out soon anyway. Plus, I need to get back to help my family later this afternoon with a tai chi event, so better you won’t have to rush on my account.’
‘Gettin’ your skate on, Zozo?’ S said with a hungover husky-sounding voice, which she still managed to make sarcastic.
‘It’s called cross-training!’ Seth said with a grin. ‘Got
ta get our girl in top-notch shape before the big comp!’
Kiko and I looked over at each other, rolling our eyes simultaneously at the silly siblings.
It was 12:30pm when Seth and I rolled into the skate park. Neither of us had much to say in the car, or maybe we had plenty to say, but just didn’t know how. Anyway, we listened to some tunes on the radio and blasted the A/C because the sun was shining and we were about to be outside during the hottest part of the day.
‘Hey, are we meeting anyone here or is it just us?’ I asked him as we arrived and he handed me his extra skateboard from the back seat.
‘Not sure. I told my mate, the one I stayed with last night, so he may show up with a couple of guys, but you never know on a Sunday after a big night, hey.’
We skated around the park on our boards, just warming up and getting into the groove. It was fun to skate around the other people who were milling about. Most of them were youngsters in their teens, goofing around, either on the half-pipe or on the pavement and in the carpark. I followed Seth’s lead as he pointed out certain things about the park; it was obviously a familiar place to him.
‘Back when I was younger I tripped over there, he said, pointing to a small ramp, ‘and wiped out and broke my arm. And over there, see where that tree is?’ He indicated some greenery at the back of the park.
‘Yeah, I see it.’
‘Well, I climbed that tree one night because a party was going on and a bunch of guys got real sloppy drunk. A fight broke out and the cops came, so I bolted from the scene, climbed the tree and watched the entire thing from up there!’ He was laughing pretty hard by the time he finished.
‘Did you cause another fight, mate?’ But I knew that wasn’t his thing. Even when we were little he was never a punk-ass kind of guy. He was always a bit more on the shy side.
‘Nah, I’m a lover not a fighter, Zoe. You know that!’ And he winked at me.
‘Mmm-hmm, sure you are! Are we all warmed up now?’ Before I finished my sentence, I took off on my board, heading towards the pipe.
We were there for a couple of hours, and I spent a lot of the time watching Seth’s movements, then working on a few moves with him giving me pointers. Actually, he gave me a good amount of coaching, and the way he taught was impressive, so clear, but also making sure to only give a couple of tips at a time so I could practice those specifically, before moving on.
His friend never did show up, but Seth didn’t seem to care, and it didn’t make much difference to me either way. He made quick friends with the younger kids, after giving one of them a tip that made a huge difference, like immediately. You can imagine how stoked that kid was. The next thing we knew, the friend of that kid was hanging around Seth looking for pointers as well. Of course Seth happily obliged, and well, now everyone was happy.
There was only one other girl there beside me. She was a lot younger, about 8, and it turns out she was the little sister of one of the kids Seth was helping. While Seth was doing his thing with the two boys, she and I took turns on the pipe, cheering each other on and working on keeping good form rather than pulling out big tricks.
When the dad arrived to pick the little ones up, he seemed cautious at first, probably wondering who these adults were with his kids. But when they showed such enthusiasm to introduce us to him, he realized we were being helpful, not harmful, so he let down his guard.
‘Dad, Dad!’ The boy was pulling Seth over to his dad to introduce them to one another, and the girl, following her big brother’s lead, did the same with me.
‘G’day mate, Seth said. ‘I’m Seth, and this is Zoe.’
‘G’day,’ he greeted us. ‘I’m Bob.’ And as he looked over at me to shake my hand, he had a look of shock on his face.
‘Wait, are you Zoe Smith?’
‘Uh, yes, I am,’ I said, smiling kindly as our hands met.
And then he looked at his kids. ‘Kids! Do you know who this is? Zoe is a professional surfer.’ He glanced back at me, ‘Hey, could we get a picture with you?’
‘Sure thing, of course!’
He seemed pretty excited now, and pulled out his phone as he told the kids how lucky they were to play with me today. I pulled out my phone so Seth could take a pic of us all, before we all said our happy goodbyes.
We were hot and sweaty, so it was a relief to be back on the road, heading home. I found my water bottle and handed it to Seth after taking a swig myself.
‘Well, this sure is becoming a habit, isn’t it?’ he said jokingly, after taking a big chug of water.
I shrugged my shoulders, not really sure how to reply, but then ended up saying, ‘Yeah, getting recognized kinda comes with the territory. But same goes for you, you know, working with kids so easily. Plus I have a feeling you’re going to experience the whole autograph thing soon enough.’
‘Hey?’ he said quizzically. ‘What do you mean?’
‘Well, you’re a phenomenal skater and you’re an amazing teacher. I think it could be easy for you to go far in this industry, if that’s what you want. Both times I’ve come to the park with you, you’re like an instant hit with the kids you teach. Now if you ask me, that’s a pretty great way to start a fan base. Add some competition into that, and I don’t think it would be too hard for you to turn pro.’
‘You think?’
‘Pretty much. I know how it goes by now, you know. But it does help to be in the right place at the right time, too.’
‘Well, how do you make that happen?’
I thought for a minute or two before speaking.
‘Mmm, I think it just comes from doing the things you want to be doing, instead of forcing yourself to do things you think you should be doing. Like, allow things to come to you – and then it seems like luck, or magic, or serendipity, or whatever, but really it’s just because you’re in the flow of being true to you.’ I was surprised at the words that came out of my mouth, but Seth didn’t seem surprised at all. In fact, he seemed to totally understand them.
‘So it’s like, do what feels good and the rest will follow?’
‘Yes, I guess so.’ To be honest, I was still a bit surprised at what I had said.
‘Good point, very good advice.’
‘But Seth,’ I continued, ‘you already do that. In fact, you’ve been teaching me to do all of that! Before I got here this summer, I hadn’t really been doing what feels good. I forgot all about it, in fact! I got caught up in what everybody else wanted me to be doing, and let me tell you, it’s not a fun place to be. My state of mind has been shit.’
‘But you still love surfing, don’t you?’
‘Yeah, I love surfing. It was everything revolving around my career that made surfing less enjoyable. And once that was happening, I began to question everything, including my love of surfing. It’s a slippery slope, I’m realizing.’
‘Wow, Zoe, I had no idea you were going through such a difficult time. Sorry to hear that.’
‘Yeah, it hasn’t been awesome, but luckily S and you and your family came to the rescue. Maybe a bit unknowingly, but still. It’s been perfect, magical really, in how the timing of it all happened. And really these last six weeks have been helping me to slowly come back to me. It’s been a lot of letting go. Plus, I’ve needed time to gather the right kind of support to allow that to happen. And the Smart family has been the right kind of smart!’ I glanced over and shot him a smile with my eyes. He returned the favour.
‘Well, I’m glad to be of service, Zoe.’ And with that, his nearest hand left the steering wheel, and he calmly reached over and gently wrapped my hand in his. I felt safe, and warm. Loved, even. The kindness I felt within his grasp made my heart instantly soften, and it allowed me to relax and be totally open to whatever could happen next.
We drove in silence for most of the rest of the way back, but I believe we had some beautiful conversations of the heart. I
understand now that words are often highly overrated. The ride went more quickly than I wanted it to, and before I knew it, we were back in our driveway. We paused after he turned the engine off, sitting there, both of us hanging on to the moment a little while longer, knowing that the energy would shift as soon as we opened the vehicle doors. But it had to be done. I got out, grabbed my bag from the back seat, and watched as Seth walked around the car to talk to me.
‘Well, Zoe, thanks for playing with me today. You are a gem of a person, and I hope we can spend more time together before you head back on tour. What do you think?’
‘Well, yeah, I’d love that!’ I was smiling big, but was also feeling shy. And then he pulled me in close and wrapped his arms around me. Instinctively, my arms went around his waist as my head rested on his chest. I could smell the scent of his sweat and I liked it. After a moment or two, or three, I looked up at him to give him a smile, and as I did, our eyes locked, and he planted his sweet lips on mine. His kiss felt calm and confident. There didn’t seem to be any concern at all that he was kissing his sister’s best friend in the driveway of his family home. It helped me feel more okay about it too; that none of that stuff mattered. Who knows? Maybe it didn’t. Maybe it wouldn’t.
So I kissed him back, and it was divine…
CHAPTER
39
Falling asleep the night of The Kiss, I was elated. I felt like a teenager who’d snuck out of the house to make out with my new boyfriend at the scenic lookout (AKA the make-out place). And even though Seth wasn’t my boyfriend, well, you get what I mean, right?
Spending time with Seth was the icing on the cake of a fabulous weekend. Actually no, it was the cherry on top. The icing was spending time with the best two ladies around, and the cake was the Goldy itself, a beautiful stretch of coastline, one of my favourite in Oz.
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