The first event was fast approaching and it was time to put all of my focus on surfing. I shifted into high gear, where the next two weeks were a mixture of sleep, train, eat, surf, tai chi, meditate, skate, and a few other preparatory bits and pieces. Of course, I still had fun with the Smart fam, and spent some enjoyably innocent quality time with Seth. But then again, I knew it wasn’t smart – he he! – to lose myself in the excitement of a boy crush. So for the most part, I was able to manage myself and direct my attention towards competition. I also spent most of my surfing sessions at Snapper, to re-familiarize myself with its features.
It was pretty awesome how my list of priorities had been set into motion over the last couple of months in a way that felt natural. After letting go of an awful lot in my life (like Derek, and Greg, and sponsors, and a whole bunch of my own inner crap), new opportunities and experiences came to me, things that felt oh-so good. I was eating better (at least a bit) with the smoothies and salads. I trained with the lifeguards. Kiko led me in tai chi. Seth took me skating. And I did my own brief little meditations when I woke up and before I went to bed, incorporating some of the visualizations I was learning in the book Kiko had me reading.
I thought about Derek often, but what had started out as a depressing hole in my heart, was slowly becoming less of a hole and more of just heart. I wasn’t totally fine, but I was better.
The remaining sponsors in my life were legendary. I got some new boards, as well as some new gear, but more importantly were the great phone conversations and emails from my team managers, who knew exactly where I was at and what I’d been going through over the summer. Why? Because I’d finally told them the truth. Instead of wondering what was up with me, and questioning why I’d dropped off the scene unexpectedly, they were able to give me what I needed most: support. I’m sure it was helpful that I’d been a solid member of the team for many years, but I still appreciated their words of encouragement, and their confidence in my ability to pull through.
In fact, I was feeling supported by everyone surrounding me. Come to think of it, maybe that was the key to success I’d been missing. You have to choose to be in the presence of people who lift you up, not bring you down, which means you have to be aware of who those people are. You can’t just expect everyone to treat you in the most favourable way; you have to be okay with picking and choosing, allowing people to come and go easily in your life. Like the breath. It comes in, it goes out. We don’t get attached to holding onto the oxygen in our lungs after we inhale, and we don’t pine for it as we exhale. You take it in, and then you let it go. The inhale and exhale must work together, simultaneously. You can’t have one without the other.
Wait, where did that come from? I had never even thought of the breath analogy before. Oh, is that you, Teo?
I felt a warm, tingling sensation all over my body, and knew that it was confirmation from him. I was getting much better at trusting his presence whether I could see him or not, which helped me to focus on my other senses. Feeling him, hearing him, and just knowing he was there strengthened my ability to maintain a positive mindset.
As for surfing, was I up to par? I’m not sure I felt 100%. But I was feeling more relaxed in the surf than I had in a long time, which made it heaps easier to work with the wave – connecting with its rhythm and adjusting to its subtle shifts, which was crucial in competition. So as long as I could remember to stay loose and relaxed, all would be well.
I noticed how my attitude had changed over the summer; I was less uptight and fearful of failing. Instead excitement had replaced the fear – excitement to bring a new attitude to the game, a renewed love for surfing. With the help of Teo and everyone else, it was like I had shed layers of fear, layers upon layers that had slowly thickened into a cloud of negativity and doubt. Releasing those layers had been the real work for me over the off-season, and I had to recognize this as I moved forward. I also knew that when I was back in the scene and watching all the girls rip, it would be easy to fall back into my old patterns and old mindset; I had to be conscientious with my thoughts and intentions.
In terms of my skill level, well, I hadn’t exactly been working on my technique, nor had I been perfecting new moves, so I could definitely be at a disadvantage in that area since all the ladies were stepping up the level of competition. You have to be well-rounded these days, and then exceptional to make the top rankings.
The nature of a surfing competition is that it can be long and drawn out, simply due to the fact that you’re relying on the elements of nature to bring in a good swell during the dates of competition. On a day the competition is called ‘on’, you’re pretty much at the site all day, and you’re not even sure if you’re going to end up surfing. You may be all dressed and warmed up, and then they put the next heat on hold to wait for better conditions. It could be later that same day, or maybe it’s not until the next day, or even a week later. On the other hand, the conditions may be so good that they plough through as many rounds as possible all at once.
I explain all of this to show the added element of uncertainty. You have to have a strong, consistent frame of mind throughout the two-week holding period. Not to mention managing your energy levels rather than letting the excitement drain you – especially important if you do well in the first few rounds, because there’s still a lot of work to do to make it through to Finals.
When it comes to mindset, tennis is an amazing sport to watch, because you can witness the wide range of emotions each player goes through over the course of a match. And if you ask me, the number one trait the top-ranked players have in common is their superhero mindset. Think about Serena Williams. Whether she’s up a set or down a set, she never gives up. Even if there’s a triple match point in favour of her opponent. And often, these number one players, like Serena, or Roger Federer, or Novak Djokovic, make the most fucking insane comebacks! They don’t let fatigue get to them, they know how to manage their emotions, and they certainly don’t let lack of preparedness become a factor. They train hard, mentally and physically – moving through fear, doubt, injury, jetlag, doing their best to stay calm and centred amidst the inevitable ups and downs that come with winning and losing. Their focus is unparalleled.
Now, in the past, surfing wasn’t as hardcore as it is now. People didn’t train in the gym or maintain a specific diet. No, they surfed, and socialized, and partied a little bit… ahem, maybe a lot. And while it’s still like that to a certain extent, the level of competition has become way more fierce. And the chicks these days? Wow, they are super athletic and skilled. It takes a lot more effort, drive, and consistency to win a competition now than ever before.
These were the thoughts turning over in my head the night before the first event of the season.
Yeesh! Even after being a part of the WSL for the last eight years, I was still a ball of nerves getting to sleep that night. Everything in my life felt different to me now than it had at the end of last season, and I didn’t know how that was going to translate into the professional surfing scene. I hung out on my bed, reading a chapter from Thinking Body, Dancing Mind when Seth texted me.
‘You up?’
‘Yup, what you doing?’
‘Just wanted to let you know I’m thinking about you, and I’m excited to be your sidekick tomorrow. ’
‘Aww, you’re the best. Thanks!’
‘Sending you hugs and a big fat kiss!’
‘Kisses right back atcha!’ I replied.
I put down my book, set the alarm on my phone, laid down and closed my eyes. Kiko taught me a technique where, if you can’t sleep, you meditate lying down by having awareness of the sensations in your body. It’s a way to get out of your head, I guess, and since my mind was chattering pretty loudly, I decided to give it a shot. It was hard to stay focused on my body because my thoughts of the next day kept distracting my mind. It was frustrating. I’d focus one moment, and then be gone like two seconds
later, obsessing over something about the competition.
I persevered. And I kept coming back to my body, over and over again, until eventually, I fell asleep.
CHAPTER
40
The day began early. I was up at 4am to make sure I had enough time to head out to Snapper and get in a warm-up session before the competition started. The forecast was looking good, so the event would most likely be on. I’d already packed my necessary snacks, clothes, bikinis, boards, wax and other gear the night before, so I didn’t have to run around panicking in the morning or worry about leaving something behind. S and Kiko were already up and making our smoothies by the time I made my way to the kitchen.
‘What are you guys doing up so early?’
‘Babe, we had to see you off this morning!’ S never missed an opportunity to give me support, especially when she knew I needed it most.
‘Yeah, sorry we’re gonna miss the first day, Zoe.’ Kiko said, pouring my smoothie in a reusable cup to take with me.
‘Aww, you guys are so sweet. Thanks so much!’
As Kiko handed me the smoothie, Seth came in through the sliding door with a backpack.
‘Zo, are you ready to do this or what?’ His hair was all dishevelled and he seemed a bit out of sorts as he tripped on a leg of a dining room chair on his way to greet us.
‘Ooh, ouch!’ he grumbled as he stubbed his toe, but he shook it off quickly as if nothing had happened. Maybe still too sleepy to react. Kiko filled up another portable cup and handed it to him.
‘Can you handle this or shall I give it to Zoe to hang onto for you?’
‘Gimme that!’ he said, trying to bring out sarcasm in his voice but still coming across as the sweetest guy ever. The ladies gave me a hug, and Seth and I went out the front door to his car.
‘Are you sure you don’t mind taking me this early?’
‘C’mon Zoe, you know I want to!’ he said with eagerness.
Surf events are kinda like going to an outdoor festival. It’s completely amazing to me, how the beach transforms. There’s the competitor area, the VIP area, a lounge area with snacks and drinks, plus our locker rooms with our jerseys (AKA a rash guard with our name and number that we wear during our heat). I got a VIP pass for Seth so that he could watch in the lounge area with the family members, friends and girl/boyfriends of other competitors.
‘Pretty sweet!’ he commented as we walked in. We both had our backpacks on, plus a board under each arm. Four total, all four mine! We’d left Seth’s board in the car in the parking lot, where we had changed after our warm-up session. The waves were fun and clean, and it was nice to be in the water with someone who had such a light-hearted energy. Unknowingly, he helped calm my nerves.
Walking around the competitor’s area felt surreal. There’s a camaraderie that comes from getting to know one another as you travel from one event to the next, which was comforting on one hand. But then on the other hand, some of the people I ‘knew’ still felt like strangers.
On top of that, I hadn’t spoken with anyone during the off-season except for Bailey, so I had no idea what the ladies had been up to. It made me feel insecure about being out of the loop, in case there was some major news I was oblivious about; this felt especially true when it came to my fellow Aussies. But when I started to see some familiar faces, my fear was instantly dissolved by their friendliness.
‘Zoe!’ Tanya called out.
‘Aloha, Zoe!’ said Cindy.
‘What’s up, Zoe! Haven’t seen you in a while!’ Ruth said with a big smile as she walked by.
‘Ah, Zoe! Salut!’ Julie said in her usual bubbly manner.
Everyone is so friendly, I thought to myself reassuringly.
‘You good, Z?’ Seth joined my side once I’d dropped my stuff in my locker room.
‘I am now! I guess I was a little unsure about how the others would respond to me, since I wasn’t in the best of moods last time I saw them. But yeah, it feels good. I’m good! How about you?’
‘It’s alright, hey! I love VIP!’ he said with enthusiasm and charm as he gently put his arm around my shoulder, kissed me on the cheek and nudged me to walk out to the deck to check on the conditions.
‘Looks pretty nice, hey. I hope it holds.’
There wasn’t much else to focus on, except for maintaining a strong mindset. I wasn’t about to start worrying about what the other girls could or couldn’t do. All I had control over was my own ability to perform my absolute best.
I headed to the locker room as the competition got underway. I was in the third heat, which didn’t leave much time to get ready, seeing that each was only 30 minutes. Luckily the water had warmed up over the summer, so I didn’t have to deal with putting on a wetsuit anymore. Just my bikini, the lotion on my face, and making sure I had my jersey on. You get to pick your own number, and I’ve had the same number for years: #33. It felt good having it on my back again. After a series of warm-up stretches, I headed back over to Seth who was still sitting outside on the deck, watching the second heat.
‘How’s it going?’ I asked.
‘The sets are looking good. Not too long of a lull in between sets, so you should have plenty of waves to choose from. The tide’s coming in, so it’ll pick up a bit too.’
‘Thanks for being here, Seth, it means a lot,’ I said, flashing him a smile before making my way to the beach.
There were three of us in the water: me, Tanya, and Ruth. It was a non-elimination round, meaning nobody would get cut. Instead, the person who won this heat would get to skip Round Two (an elimination round) and head straight to Round Three. It was the first goal of the comp that we all aimed to achieve.
Typically, Tanya played smart, and I’d been in plenty of heats with her before, averaging five wins to her seven, so I knew to expect her to take care of herself and be on top of her game. As for Ruth, she wasn’t the most consistent competitor, but when she was on, she was on. She may not have performed to her potential over previous years, but it wouldn’t be smart to discount her ability to come in strong. She was an extremely skilled and fearless surfer with nothing to lose, and these factors could put her at an advantage.
In a nutshell, here’s how the judging system works: your worst scores are thrown away, keeping the best two, and there’s no wave limit which means you can catch as many waves as you want.
Also, in order to get high-scoring rides you have to:
pick a good wave
make the most of it (do turns, cutbacks, and other manoeuvres)
complete it (finish without wiping out)
And since each wave was different, it took a lot of skill to pick the right wave at the right time and be in the right position to catch it. Another element to consider was gaining priority, which basically meant getting pole position. Having priority gave you pick of the best wave. Once you took your wave, priority would change. Confused yet? All I’m saying is there were plenty of technicalities to deal with in the water, and strategy was key.
Unfortunately, I choked in Round One. Or rather, Julie slayed. She dominated the heat, without question. Ruth had a few nice ones, but neither of us could match her full roundhouse cutback.
Moving onto Round Two and I was still a bit of a mess, struggling to maintain any sort of consistency. There were plenty of waves to catch, which was a bonus, but I kept screwing up on them. I fell off the back of one, tripped on my rail on another. It did not impress the judges one bit, and my low scores – a 6.51 and a 6.97 – demonstrated just that. Luckily, however, Erica couldn’t quite seem to pull it together either. I say ‘luckily’ because normally she would rip! So we both kinda sucked; I just happened to suck a little bit less than her in those 30 minutes.
Fuck! I thought to myself. That’s what happens when I’m focused on proving myself to others. Okay, Zoe, time to let it go and focus on the next heat.
>
Round Three was a success! I didn’t catch a lot of waves, but I did pick the right waves, which gave me the opportunity to find my rhythm, carve out some critical turns and bash away at the pocket. Carly, one of my opponents, ended up on the wrong side of priority, meaning her waves didn’t have enough ‘meat’ on them to get anything significant done. Anna, on the other hand, chased down some high scoring waves in the excellent range, but it wasn’t enough to beat my 8.13 and 8.25.
It was imperative I keep my head in the game, because I was now headed to the Quarterfinals against Emily, who has multiple World Championship titles and therefore knew exactly what it took to win. She had a particular style and set of skills that have proven to be a powerful combination, so I would have to be ‘on’ if I wanted to come out on top.
‘Right on, Z, you got this!’ Seth whispered in my ear when he gave me a hug right before I made my way to the beach from the competitor’s area. His presence was soothing. His smile, and his light-hearted energy helped me stay present and relaxed, instead of nervous.
Em was on fire! Snapper was a local spot for her as she lived in the area, so she knew this feature like the back of her hand. She gouged through every bump in the wave, scoring some excellent points right off the bat, putting her in the lead and me into a combo situation. I needed to replace both of my scores… two new waves, each scoring over an 8.27! It was a tense situation, but I refused to give in to the pressure! Instead, I maintained my focus by embracing one of the principles of a TaoSports athlete – enjoying the challenge that Emily had given me to showcase my talent.
I got this! I said to myself. But there was a lull in between sets where neither of us were able to catch anything for a good chunk of time. Oh no! With only five minutes remaining, I had to step up my game. I snuck to the inside section and found a sweet one while under priority. I took it almost all the way into shore: snap, snap, snap! I was just hammering down the line, using every piece of the wave until there was nothing left of it. Yes! An 8.67.
Surfer Girls Kick Ass Page 20