Something Like Spring

by Jay Bell

  Same weather tomorrow morning.

  In other words, chilly. Monday brought a rerun of the previous morning, except this time Jason didn’t pretend to be chipper. He swam a little, despite his muscles hurting too much to do so, but eventually climbed out of the pool and watched William, while Kelly watched Jason watching William. By the end of an hour, Jason’s jaw wouldn’t stop clenching and he had a headache. Part of him was impressed that Kelly had found another way of ruining their time together. Mostly he found himself hating the guy.

  Jason stopped by Juicy James that day, but William was swarmed with customers. Buying a smoothie just to get a few seconds with him, Jason heard more news that didn’t make him happy.

  “I’m not going swimming tomorrow,” William said. “You shouldn’t either.”

  Obviously. What was the point if he wasn’t going to be there? “When’s your next break?”

  William shook his head apologetically. “Kelly said something about shopping today. You should go. We’ll figure something out, okay?”

  Jason spent the next day trying to decide what that would be. Most of his plans revolved around strangling Kelly, or drowning him in the YMCA pool, or other violent fantasies that left him feeling sick to his stomach. The rest of Jason was filled with newly born love, and it felt wrong that hate was invading his heart as well. He tried to forgive Kelly, to imagine how it would feel to slowly lose the person you loved, but even this was difficult because he never saw Kelly being nice to William. If Kelly was so desperate to keep him, he could at least treat William right.

  Jason was on the couch that evening, flipping through channels, when Tim returned from taking Chinchilla for a walk. Once free from her leash, Chinchilla hopped up on the couch with him. For some reason, Tim decided to stand right in front of the television. Jason glared and tried to angle the remote around him.

  “There’s someone out front,” Tim said. “At the end of the drive. He’s on a bike, and I can’t be sure, but it might be your Apollo.”

  “William?” Jason asked.

  “I think so. He didn’t see me, and he’s just standing there, so—”

  Jason leaped to his feet and bolted out the front door. He ran all the way down the drive, wishing Ben and Tim had a short driveway like most people. Despite all the training he’d done with William the last few weeks, he was winded by the time he spotted a figure in the fading light—both feet on the ground and a bike between his legs.

  “What are you doing here?” Jason panted, a wild grin on his face.

  William swung his legs over his bike, letting it fall to the ground as he walked toward Jason. He caught him by the shoulders, hands gripping him firmly, and Jason found himself short of breath for another reason entirely.

  “I told him I wanted to bike today instead of swim.” William said. “I don’t have long.”

  “Then why are you down here instead of at the house?”

  William’s eyes searched his. “I was trying to decide if I was going to do it or not.”

  “Do what?”

  “This.”

  William’s lips smashed into Jason’s, and they were soft and salty with sweat and absolutely wonderful. Jason kissed him back, wrapping his arms around his back, the wet T-shirt chilly against his skin until replaced by the warmth of William’s body. Jason ran his hand up William’s spine to his neck, letting his fingers sweep through the short hair there. They were both huffing through their noses, breath short, but Jason didn’t care. He could die this way, collapse from lack of oxygen rather than break the kiss he had been so hungry for.

  William pulled away first, hands on each side of Jason’s face as he smiled goofily at him. Then he came back for two short pecks, before Jason pulled him in for another real kiss.

  “Okay!” William said, laughing as he took a step back. “Holy shit… That felt even better than in my fantasies.”

  “You’ve been fantasizing about me?” Jason asked with a sheepish smile.

  William shook his head ruefully. “You have no idea!”

  Jason hated to mention Kelly, but he had to know. “Did something happen?”

  “Nothing has changed,” William said. “I’m sorry. I guess I should have told you first, but I think maybe you’re right. Until we figure something better out, we just… uh…”

  “Have a sultry affair,” Jason teased.

  William grimaced. “I hate how that sounds.”

  “A sweet affair then,” Jason said. “I’m okay with that. I hated the last few days—not being able to be alone with you.”

  “It’s only going to get tougher to see each other,” William said. “Like I said, I can’t stay right now.”

  “Come back later,” Jason said. “Or I’ll sneak over to your place. You guys don’t spend every night together, do you?”

  William frowned.

  “You do? Even on school nights?”

  William sighed. “I never thought I’d say this, but unfortunately I have very liberal parents. He does too. I took care of him when he was recovering, and that meant us staying together, even at night. Somehow that became the norm.”

  “Lucky bastard,” Jason said. “What are we going to do?”

  William smiled. “You’re a clever boy. I’m sure you’ll figure something out.”

  Jason’s mind had already begun racing, trying to find a solution. His brain shut down again when William kissed him goodbye, but when he had gone, Jason redirected the sexual frustration he felt into determination. He would find a way! No matter what he had to do.

  * * * * *

  The next week was a trial of emotional endurance, Jason’s frustration growing with each passing day. Despite his determination, he was no closer to finding a way he and William could be together. Kelly was still showing up at the pool every morning, making it pointless for Jason to go anymore. Sure, swimming allowed him to see William, but Kelly had started making cutting remarks that remained with Jason and soured the rest of his day.

  “William could say he has to work,” Tim suggested once, “on a day he doesn’t really have to. Unless Kelly checks up on him, he’ll never know.”

  Except Kelly was showing up at William’s workplace with more and more frequency. A few times, Jason had parked on the opposite side of the mall, and William had met him there during his break. This gave them ten minutes of privacy in the car. They would lower the seatbacks and talk or make out, but this felt more desperate than romantic.

  “He needs to leave Kelly,” Ben said, still determined to be a good role model. “You won’t be happy until you can have William to yourself and out in the open.”

  Jason suspected this was true, and he tried broaching the subject during one parking lot session. William had admitted a breakup was inevitable, but then he started talking again about how he’d ruined Kelly’s life. Before they could get anywhere in the conversation, William had to report back to work. Even phone calls were difficult, thanks to Kelly always being in the room with William, and text messages weren’t at all satisfying.

  “I need time!” Jason ranted after a Sunday lunch of grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup. “I’ll never talk him into doing anything if we’re constantly interrupted, or worse, chaperoned by Kelly.”

  Ben leaned back in his chair and studied the kitchen table. After a moment, he glanced sideways at Tim, who shook his head almost imperceptibly.

  “What?” Jason said. “If you guys know a way and are holding back… I don’t even know why you would do that to me.”

  Again they exchanged glances. “I had an idea—” Ben began.

  “No,” Tim interrupted, crossing his arms over his chest.

  “He’s not Ryan,” Ben said patiently.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” Jason asked, looking back and forth between them. “What’s he got to do with anything?”

  “Marcello is having a party,” Ben said.

  Tim sighed. “I love Marcello, I really do, but some of the people he associates with a
re trash. I don’t want you getting exposed to that sort of element.”

  “That’s when things turned sour with Ryan,” Ben explained. “He and Tim were happy together, but then Ryan started running with a bad crowd—”

  “Doing drugs,” Tim said with a huff, “screwing around, stealing, partying and letting the rest of his life go to shit. I won’t let you do that to yourself.”

  “Thanks for your concern,” Jason said, holding back a smile, “but I’m only interested in spending time alone with the guy I lo— with the guy I really really like.”

  Ben looked amused. “So if someone comes up to you with a big fat blunt and USB stick full of hippie music, what are you going to say?”

  “No,” Jason said solemnly. “I’ll say no.”

  “There,” Ben said, looking at Tim. “He passed the test.”

  “You guys think you’re so funny,” Tim said, pulling out his cell phone, “but this is one genie you can’t shove back in the bottle. Mostly because he’s too damn fat.”

  “How’s a party going to help me, anyway?” Jason asked. “Kelly will just tag along like he always does.”

  “How do you feel about being a topless waiter?” Tim asked. “And getting ogled by lots of old men.”

  “Huh?”

  Ben rolled his eyes. “Marcello likes to staff his parties with handsome young men. It sounds horrible, but this one is a fundraiser, so it’s for a good cause. You and William can work as waiters, allowing you to slip away for some private time.”

  “I appreciate the idea,” Jason said, “but I need more than just ten minutes alone with him.”

  “That’s the brilliant part,” Ben said. “This charity supports the sick and shut-in. During one portion of the party, the waiters are all sent away while everyone else is locked in a room for the actual fundraising.”

  “That sounds crazy,” Jason said.

  “It’s to show people how it feels to be shut away without resources,” Tim said. “And it only lasts half an hour, so it’s worthless, really.”

  “Except,” Ben said, “I’m sure Marcello would be willing to extend the time if we asked. I bet we could get an hour out of him.”

  “An hour?” Jason said, practically salivating at the prospect. “Sign me up!”

  Ben nudged Tim. “Sign him up.”

  “Okay,” Tim said, pushing a button on his cell phone. “Mark my words, getting Marcello involved in your love life is a terrible idea. You’re all going to regret this.”

  * * * * *

  “I should have seen this coming,” Tim said, shaking his head. He was topless except for a metallic blue bow tie. Balanced in one hand was a tray full of champagne glasses. Even when he turned around to glare accusingly at Jason, the liquid in the glasses barely moved.

  “You’ve done this before, huh?” Jason asked.

  “Yes, I have!” Tim said. “And I swore years ago that I never would again.”

  “Thanks,” William said. “We really appreciate it. You have no idea how special having time alone is to us.”

  “I can imagine.” Tim’s features softened as he looked them over. “Enjoy it. You guys make a cute couple.”

  Jason felt selfconscious as hell. Like Tim, he and William were wearing black slacks, uncomfortable polished shoes, and nothing above the waist except for their black bow ties. He had no idea where Tim had gotten the cool blue tie. Maybe from a previous party like this. Marcello was more than willing to help their crazy plan become a reality, but he required Tim to play waiter too, claiming that donations would skyrocket as a result. Seeing Tim’s bare torso, Jason could understand why. The guy was absolutely cut, and even had a sexy scar running up one arm to his shoulder, a splash of pink against his naturally brown skin. Attractive as Tim was, Jason’s attention kept returning to William, who looked like a Boy Scout trying his luck as a Chippendales dancer. Their impressive physiques made Jason feel insecure about his own body, especially since the other waiters were in good shape too. Soon Jason had other things to worry about, like making sure all the guests had stuffed mushrooms crammed in their mouths.

  Marcello’s home was palatial, and was perhaps just one hedge maze and swan-filled lake away from being an actual palace. Tonight’s event took place in a ballroom on the first floor. On stage was a small orchestra that—oddly enough—played pop music for the delight of the guests, a female singer occasionally taking the microphone and crooning out lyrics, lending an edge of class, even when singing about being hungry like a wolf.

  And the guests certainly seemed to be. After a mere five minutes, Jason darted back into the kitchen for more food. On his way back, he saw William standing next to where Kelly sat, smiling and chatting with him as a good boyfriend should. All part of the plan. Jason did his best to ignore them, focusing on the guests instead. Most were older gentlemen, wearing custom-tailored suits. They were often accompanied by younger guys who dressed more casually, although some of the older men walked the party, arm in arm. Jason envied them, hoping that he would one day be doing the same.

  As the party went on, the younger guys convened, leaving their dates alone. This meant the older men became chatty. Jason had to keep excusing himself so he could continue serving hors d’oeuvres. Eventually Tim came up to him, a sea of heads turning to follow his progress.

  “Less food, more talking,” he whispered.

  Jason scrunched his face up in confusion.

  “These guys are more interested in talking to you than in eating,” Tim explained. “That’s why you’re here. You don’t have to give them lap dances or anything. Just smile and humor them.”

  “They want to talk to me?” Jason asked.

  Now it was Tim’s turn to appear puzzled. “You’re a good-looking guy. You know that, right?”

  Jason felt himself blushing. He looked away to find an older man checking them both out, smiling when he caught Jason’s eye.

  “See?” Tim said. “Just remember, it’s for a good cause. And if any of them try to touch you, point me out and tell them I’ll break their necks.”

  “Okay,” Jason said, laughing nervously.

  He started focusing on socializing more, taking the time to answer probing questions and feeling less and less taken aback each time someone laughed or seemed genuinely interested in what he had to say. By the end of another hour, his self-esteem was so inflated he worried he might float up to the ceiling. He didn’t know why Tim complained about doing this. Maybe he didn’t need the ego boost, but Jason would gladly volunteer again.

  He was practically dancing across the room to fetch more food when someone placed a hand on his arm to stop him.

  “The champagne is running a little dry. Better get another tray from the kitchen.”

  Jason looked up, because the guy who was speaking was tall. And huge and familiar in a way that made Jason feel like he was sixteen and insignificant again. For the first few seconds, he didn’t understand why. But then a name came to his lips that he barely managed to keep himself from saying.

  Nathaniel.

  Caesar’s one true love. Jason just stared at him, waiting for the recognition to be mirrored, but instead Nathaniel merely raised an eyebrow.

  “Did you hear me? We need more champagne. Marcello will be asking for money in half an hour, and we want everyone to be feeling generous.”

  “I’m not old enough to serve alcohol,” Jason stammered.

  “Oh!” Nathaniel said. “Sorry. In that case just head to the kitchen and let them know. Tell any waiters on your way too, all right?”

  “No problem.”

  Jason walked stiff-legged back to the kitchen, not daring to turn around until he was at the door. Had he been mistaken? But no, when he searched the crowd, he quickly found Nathaniel, smiling as he talked to a guest but also keeping an eye on the proceedings. What was he doing here? Jason glanced around, expecting to see Caesar walking through the crowd to join him. Jason had made enough rounds that surely he would have spotted him by now. Then aga
in, Nathaniel had been here all along, even if it took a moment for Jason to recognize him. He felt relieved that their reunion had been one-sided. The one time they met, Jason had spent longer watching Nathaniel from between shelves of books than their brief encounter had lasted. His hair had hidden his eyes back then too, so chances were, Nathaniel wouldn’t recognize him unless Jason made a point of explaining who he was. Which he wouldn’t.

  “Half an hour until the shut-in,” Marcello said from beside him. Jason jumped, making Marcello chuckle. “Feeling nervous? It’s not your first time, is it?”

  “No,” Jason said, eyes returning to the crowd and one person in particular.

  Marcello followed his gaze. “Don’t tell me you’re interested in someone new already?”

  “No!” Jason said. “He just looks familiar. What’s he doing here?”

  “Nathaniel? He manages most of my projects. Very efficient. Very willful. Do you know him?”

  “No,” Jason said, pulling his attention away. “He said we need more champagne.”

  “The world always needs more champagne,” Marcello said, hands on his tummy. “Don’t worry. I already gave the order. Are you enjoying yourself?”

  “Yes,” Jason admitted. “Thanks for doing all this for me. I mean, I know it’s not all for me, but I’m sorry my crazy relationship is messing with your plans.”

  “Don’t be sorry,” Marcello replied. “The only thing love needs to apologize for is being too difficult to understand and too easy to give in to.”

  “So true,” Jason said with faux weariness.

  “You still have my little map?” Marcello asked.

  “Of course,” Jason said, patting a pocket.

  “Excellent. Be prepared to make good use of it soon. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have my own affairs to attend to.”

  Marcello nodded cordially, a naughty smile on his face, before he slipped gracefully into the crowd. Jason fetched another tray of food, passing it out and resisting conversation again. Was Nathaniel being here a sign? Should he read into it? The situations were uncomfortably similar, but it wasn’t too late. Not entirely. If he backed away now, maybe William and Kelly would be okay. He glanced over to where Kelly was sitting. William was crouched next to him, a miserable expression on his face as Kelly gave him an earful about something. Then again, they hadn’t been okay before Jason came along. That was the difference. Caesar had loved Nathaniel, probably still did. William didn’t love Kelly. Not anymore.