Didn’t the Bible say the wages of sin was death? Ach, how true those words were. Because this would certainly be the death of her marriage to Uri. It would be the death of her good standing in the community. It would be the death of David’s respected leadership as bishop.
An idea formed in her head about how to inform David. She’d drop off a pie, then suggest she and the bishop slip away to a secluded place to so they could talk. Since meeting would be held there this week, it was the perfect opportunity to remain inconspicuous.
She knew Uriah was already there, most likely helping prepare for tomorrow’s festivities. Hopefully, he wouldn’t suspect anything. But even if he did, would it really matter now that she knew she was in the familye way? She might buy herself a little time, but everyone would inevitably find out. Including her husband.
Ach, if only this child belonged to him! But she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that it did not. And no amount of wishing, hoping, or praying would make it so.
~
Although David had been preoccupied with arrangements for meeting tomorrow, he was thankful to take a short break. He now stared at Beth, wondering why she’d be bold enough to request a private audience with him when so many others were around. Whatever it was, it had to be important.
“You wanted to speak with me?” He chided himself. Why did he use a curt tone with her? Ach, this was Beth. “I’m sorry.”
She looked around, as though making certain the doors were closed. She nodded, her voice barely above a whisper. “I’m in the familye way.”
A frown creased David’s brow. Why was she telling him this? These things were usually kept secret. Amongst a husband and wife. Perhaps this was her way of informing him the two of them could no longer indulge in a physical relationship. He’d already come to that conclusion himself. Not that he would have minded. Nee, he’d be thrilled. But the chances of them being found out—and the stakes that would accompany that revelation—were just too high.
Jah, this was gut news. A slow smile stretched across his features. “I’m sure Uriah is pleased.”
“He doesn’t know.” She shook her head and frowned. “The boppli is yours, David.” She wrung her hands together.
“Wait. What?” He scratched his head and frowned. “Mine? But we only…” It wasn’t probable, but it was possible. But still… He shook his head. “This can’t be right. I’m sure you’re mistaken.”
“Uriah and I have not shared our marriage bed in a couple of months. And even if we had, it’s been over six years with no bopplin. I don’t even know if we can, Uri and I. I’m for sure and for certain this boppli is yours. I’m carrying your child. I have no doubt.”
He squeezed his eyes closed. “Dear God, no. Please, God. This can’t be so.”
“It is.”
David rubbed his face, disbelief consuming his thoughts. If he would have foreseen this…
There was a solution to this. There had to be. He nodded resolutely. “Okay, this is what I want you to do. When Uriah returns home this week, lure him to your bedroom. If you share the marriage bed with him, surely he will believe the child is his. When the boppli arrives earlier than expected, he will assume it is just premature.”
“You’re sure?”
“I don’t have any other solutions. Do you?”
“Nee.” She frowned. “But what if the boppli is born and he looks like you?”
“We won’t worry about that right now.” But he did worry. He and Uriah looked nothing alike. Surely, a boppli born with auburn hair would be a dead giveaway of their misdeed.
Ach, if only Jonathan were here to talk to. Surely, he would have some sage advice for him. But, alas, he would have to wait for eternity to see his friend again. The sting of losing his best friend washed over him afresh. Ach, Jon, I miss you so much!
TWENTY-NINE
Beth shifted on the hard bench. Likely one of the same benches she’d sat on at meeting over the last five years in this district among the other married women. Perhaps she shouldn’t have come today. Her morning sickness still hadn’t subsided. Uri believed she had the flu. Of course, he wouldn’t have considered that she’d be in the familye way. Nee, he’d probably given up on that possibility. She’d most likely never have a boppli with Uri. Especially now. Guilt and sadness washed over her once again.
Jah, she should have stayed home as he’d suggested. But she loved being amongst their people, and she needed it desperately.
Her temperature seemed to rise a couple of notches as the bishop took his position up front. He now stood from the preachers’ bench, poised to deliver his sermon. He surveyed the room and she quickly ducked her head. She couldn’t look at him. Could. Not.
He began his discourse. “We often tend to judge one another harshly. But consider Christ’s response in the book of John. We all know the story of the woman who was brought to Jesus, caught in the act of adultery…”
Beth sucked in a breath. Why was David mentioning this? Did his conscience prick him too?
She tamped down the bile that threatened to rise in her throat. Nee, not now! Could she escape to the bathroom? Not without being noticed. But if she used the bathroom, she’d have to walk past his bedroom and…
Beth closed her eyes to drown out the words. She couldn’t bear to listen to this sermon. Not now. Not when… She lifted her head slightly as Bishop David’s voice rang through the divided great room. Their eyes briefly met, but he quickly looked away at another congregant. She glanced around, noting how the congregation looked to their respected leader with great admiration. Ach, David…
He continued on. “Jesus said, ‘Neither do I condemn thee. Go and sin no more.’” David looked around the room. “Do we have the same response as Christ? When hearing that tidbit of gossip of a brother or sister caught in a sin? Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall. Remember, none of us is without sin. No, not one.”
He looked to the other ministers, who nodded in approval. “Do you have anything to add?”
Minister Christner stood briefly. “I think it’s important to note that Christ’s words were ‘Go and sin no more.’ So, we see that while He did pardon the sin, He did not condone it.”
The bishop nodded in agreement.
Beth stared at the floor and tried to ignore her roiling stomach. This meeting couldn’t be over soon enough. Ach, why had she come?
She’d inform Uri that she wasn’t feeling well and leave immediately after meeting. Since they practically lived next door, he could stay as long as he pleased.
~
“You called for me, Bishop?” Uriah left the saddle he’d been working on. He looked around anxiously. Did he think he was in trouble?
“Uriah.” David clasped his friend’s shoulder. “You’ve been working hard lately. Why don’t you take some time off? Go on a nice vacation with your fraa. I’ll see to it that Enoch’s needs are met.”
Uriah smiled, his countenance grateful. “That sounds gut, Bishop, but I cannot do that.”
“Sure you can. I’m giving you permission. Consider it a paid holiday.”
“Oh, no. I cannot take your money when I have not worked for it.”
“But I want you to, Uriah. You are a hard worker and you deserve some time off. I’m sure your wife would enjoy having her husband home for a few days.” He raised a brow.
“I don’t work any harder than the others. I am no one special.” He scratched his head. “Do you plan to give the others a vacation as well?”
David was caught off guard. Why on earth would Uriah not take a paid vacation? “Nee. I wanted to reward you. I’ve seen how hard you work.”
“I’m no more deserving than the next guy. I’m sorry, Bishop, but I cannot accept your offer.” Uriah frowned. “Appreciate it, though.”
“Why not? Why can you not accept?”
“I cannot go home and relax when I know the others are here working for their pay. There is so much to do with the auction coming up. It doesn’t make sense to tak
e time off now. You need all the hands you can get, ain’t so?” Uriah eyed David curiously. “It wonders me, Bishop, if you have an ulterior motive in sending me home.”
“Ulterior motive?” His brow quirked. “And what would that be, friend?” He challenged boldly.
“Ach.” He shrugged. “I wouldn’t know. I’d better get back to work if we want to have that cattle ready for auction. And I have several harnesses that need repair as well. Denki, Bishop.”
David stood dumbfounded as Uriah Shetler walked off, apparently eager to work. While he appreciated Uriah’s dedication, it irked him that Uriah would not do as he’d requested. You couldn’t make someone take a paid vacation, could you?
THIRTY
After several days of failed attempts to persuade Uriah, David decided it might be better to speak with his wife. He hasted to the Shetler home, being certain he’d escaped his own property unnoticed. If he could speak with Beth, maybe he could get her to entice her husband home somehow. It wouldn’t do for Uriah’s fraa to be in the familye way when they hadn’t shared the marriage bed for an extended period of time.
Was Uriah ab im kopp? What kind of man has access to a wife as gorgeous as Beth and not take advantage of his husbandly privileges? It was absurd. If she were his fraa…no, he wouldn’t go there. Couldn’t. She wasn’t his wife and likely never would be.
Which was exactly why he needed to speak with Beth as soon as possible.
Ach, he could kick himself for his impulsive behavior. Had he ever been so irresponsible in his life?
She opened the door a moment after he knocked. Her eyes widened and she looked beyond him, a question in her gaze.
“It’s only me. Your husband is working on my ranch.”
She nodded, but apparently still failed to comprehend his intent in coming. Did she think he wanted something from her again? Ach…
“May I come in?” He frowned.
“I…uh…Uri…” She swallowed.
“No, it’s…” He shook his head. “I just want to talk. I need to come in. What I have to say shouldn’t be said out in the open. You do not have company?”
“Nee. Come in.” She warily opened the door for him.
“Denki.” He stepped into the mudroom. “I’ll get to the point. Beth, I’ve been trying to encourage Uriah to take a holiday but he refuses. I need your help.”
“Jah. He told me as much. Said why should he take time off when the others are working around the clock. There’s a big auction coming up, ain’t so?”
“Jah, that is true.” He nodded. “Can you get him to come home? To share the marriage bed with you?” Could she hear the desperation in his voice?
“I have already tried. Uri…I don’t know, but something is on his mind. I can just tell.” She shook her head. “But I can try again. Uri can be stubborn about these things. He wants to do his part like everyone else. He wants to please you.”
David reached up to touch her cheek. “But how can he not want…?” He caught himself and shook his head. “Ach.”
The door behind him abruptly opened and Uriah stood, holding his lunch box. He looked back and forth from David, then to Beth. He cleared his throat. “Did I…interrupt?”
“Ach, no. I was just leaving.” He slipped past Uriah as rapidly as he could, then spun around. “Uh, denki again, Beth, for the pie you brought for meeting. You will be making that one I ordered then?”
Their eyes connected. She took his cue and nodded in understanding. “Jah. Apple. I will bring it by tomorrow if that works for you.”
“Tomorrow is perfect. I will pay you then. Gut day, Uriah.” David deserted the Shetler home just as quickly as Uriah had entered. That was a close one. Hopefully Uriah thought nothing out of the ordinary was going on. Because if he did…nee, he didn’t.
~
Uri turned to Beth a moment after David exited. “What was that all about?”
“Uh, the bishop really liked my pie.”
He frowned. “So he said.”
She took a calming breath.
“It wonders me why he would come here instead of sending one of his workers. Or asking me yet.”
“I…don’t know.” She refused to meet his gaze.
“Don’t you?” The indictment in his tone heated her cheeks. Did Uri suspect something?
“Nee.”
“Look at me, Beth.” His voice sounded rough, choked with emotion.
She slowly brought her gaze to her husband’s. Her temperature must have spiked near a thousand degrees, it seemed. Hopefully, her mien didn’t give away any secrets.
“Why did Bishop David insist I come home for a holiday?” His tone sounded accusing to her ears. Or was that just her conscience pricking her?
She stepped close and gentled her voice. “Uri, you work so hard. Is it any wonder that the boss would want you to take some time off?” She reached up and caressed his beard.
He stepped away, as though her touch had scalded his skin. Perhaps it had. His eyes pierced hers, demanding truth. Could he see into her soul? Were her secrets written on her face?
“I was right. I knew it.” He shook his head. “I didn’t want to believe it. I told myself that it wasn’t true but…”
“Uri, whatever you’re thinking—”
“Don’t lie to me!”
She stumbled back at his rebuke. She’d never heard Uri raise his voice. Never. He was always calm, quiet, gentle. What had she done to him?
“I can see it in your face. A man can tell when his fraa…” His disillusioned glare caused a sharp stabbing sensation in the middle of Beth’s chest. His voice shook with unbridled emotion. “Why, Beth? Why?”
She couldn’t meet his gut-wrenching gaze. She didn’t have an answer, not a good one anyway. Twin tears trickled down her cheeks, trailblazing a path for the avalanche that would follow.
Uri came close and cradled her face in his hands ever so softly. How she longed for him to drop his lips to hers and assure her they could work this out. Perhaps if they could just rekindle the passion they had in their earliest years of matrimony, their marriage could survive. If only…
“I trusted you.” The disappointment in his voice needed no explanation. She’d hurt him in the worst way. She’d betrayed him—the one she loved more than anybody else on this earth.
Just like that, he dropped his hands and fled the house as quickly as he’d come.
She stared after him, longing for him to turn around. Longing for him to charge through the door once again and take her in his arms. Longing for the chance to beg his forgiveness.
How long would he be gone? Would he return? Would she ever see him again?
Beth’s body shook of its own accord as regret clamped down on her heart. This couldn’t be happening. Her stomach turned over and bile rose in her throat. She rushed to the restroom.
“I’m sorry, Uri.” She sobbed uncontrollably. “I’m sorry.”
God, please help me. Help us!
THIRTY-ONE
Beth’s hands trembled as she carried the apple pie to David’s home. She hadn’t outright agreed with Uriah’s assumption, so maybe there was hope for them. Perhaps if she acted normal, Uri would believe he’d been mistaken.
After knocking on the door, she glanced toward one of the large barns David owned. Uri stepped out. Their eyes met for a split second, then he turned away in disillusionment...or was it revulsion? There would be no fooling her beloved. Reconciliation would likely be a long time coming. If ever.
The door swooshed open and David’s housekeeper invited Beth inside.
David appeared and a grin brightened his face. “I see you have brought my pie.”
“Jah.” She swallowed.
“Come, enjoy a slice with me.” He boldly reached for her hand.
She glanced at his housekeeper. “I cannot.” Ach, he shouldn’t act so familiar in the presence of others.
He glanced up and met the housekeeper’s curious gaze. “You may have an extra hour for lunch today,
Phoebe.”
She looked from David to Beth, realizing she’d been dismissed. “Denki, Bishop,” she said, slipping out of the room.
David waited until the door had closed behind Phoebe before he spoke again. “Uriah was home yesterday. Does that mean you were able to—”
“Uri and I won’t be sharing the marriage bed anytime soon.” That was one thing she was certain of. Could the bishop see the sadness in her eyes? The regret she felt in her heart?
His hand covered hers. “You need not worry, Beth. I will think of something.”
She nodded. There wasn’t anything she could think of that would change their situation for the better. Nee. It seemed that with each day that passed, with each moment, things only got worse. There was no honorable solution to this dilemma, this crisis.
~
Beth clutched the letter Uri had left on the table that morning. Since he hadn’t slept in their bed last night, she had no idea when he might have left it. Perhaps he’d snuck in this morning while she was still asleep. He clearly didn’t want to speak face-to-face. It was probably better this way.
She trembled as she sat down with her morning coffee, dreading the words that must be inside. She had no desire to read it, but she needed to know what it said. If Uriah had in mind to end their marriage, which was what she suspected, she needed to know no matter how much it pained her.
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, slowly unfolding the single lined page. Her eyes flew to the words her beloved had penned.
“God, help me,” she whispered. Her hands shook unbidden.
Dear Beth,
This is not easy for me to write.
First of all, I want you to know that I feel deeply betrayed. By you. By the bishop. How could you go behind my back like this? I know we’ve been having struggles lately and we haven’t been as intimate as you would have liked. But why did you feel the need to take our troubles to the bishop? Did you not feel we could work out these issues on our own? No one should know about our troubles but us. A marriage is between a husband and wife and Der Herr and is sacred, not something that you freely discuss with others. You should have come to me, but instead you have trusted the bishop. I feel you have betrayed my confidence. I feel you have greatly disrespected my position as your husband. And I feel humiliated by all this.
An Amish Betrayal Page 10