Second of all, I want you to know that I’ve forgiven you. I realize that you only wanted the best for our marriage and that you went to the bishop with a pure heart, with a desire to make our relationship stronger.
I’m sorry about my reaction, about how upset I became. But it really hurt me that you felt you couldn’t trust me to tell me the truth. We can work this out, my love.
I’ve had much on my mind lately. I’m sorry for not being myself. I hope you will forgive me as well. I will make it up to you. After this busy season is over, I’d like the two of us to take a vacation to rekindle the romance that our marriage began with. Perhaps we can visit Pinecraft like you’ve always wanted?
In the meantime, I ask you not to go to the bishop or anyone else with our problems again. Things of this nature should stay between a husband and a wife. God will see us through this.
Always Your Beloved,
Uri
Beth blinked and stared at the words. So Uri didn’t know the truth about what she and David had done? She sighed in relief, unable to help the tears that now dropped onto Uri’s letter. Ach, if only his words were true. If only their problem was as simple as he believed. Ach, Lord.
“Denki, Gott. Denki for shielding him from the pain that he’s sure to feel when he finds out the truth—that this boppli is not his, but the bishop’s. I wish there was a way he would never find out, but I realize that is most likely impossible.
“Lord, when Uri does find out the truth, I pray You will help us all through it. I know it will tear Uri’s heart in two. I pray You will give each of us the grace and the wisdom to do what is right in this situation. And please help Uri to forgive us.
“Gott, I need Your strength. I need Your help. I know that what David and I did was wrong, but I cannot go back and change it. I need to know what to do now. Please guide me. I know I don’t deserve anything, but if You will… Amen.”
THIRTY-TWO
David contemplated the situation with Beth. How on earth could this have become his reality? How could he have gotten another man’s fraa pregnant? What kind of a bishop was he?
He’d been up all hours of the night—the last three nights, actually—tossing and turning and praying for a solution. But none had come. It was as though Der Herr had been ignoring his pleas, his call for help. Perhaps he was. He certainly didn’t deserve any favors from Gott. Ach, what was he to do? What was the solution?
He supposed he could confront Uriah and explain the situation. But what man would take well to another man—his bishop, no less—sleeping with his wife? None that he could imagine. In fact, if Beth had been his wife and someone had taken her, he’d be consumed with rage and… Ach, what had he done? How was he going to escape this?
He’d heard about Englisch clinics that took care of problems such as this. But he wouldn’t sacrifice an innocent boppli’s life because of a sin he’d committed. Nee, how could he even ponder such a thing? He would never ever send Beth to a place like that.
But what if he could send her away? Perhaps he should suggest that she disappear for a while. He could contact one of his friends or a relative in another state, perhaps his kin in Missouri or Florida.
But then they’d ask questions. And the Amish grapevine would prove itself for what it was—a gossip mill of the worst kind. Nee, sending Beth to a relative would not be a gut idea. Too many questions would be raised. And they’d all point back to him. And what would Uriah think? Nee, bad idea.
He was the leader of his people. Surely he could come up with some type of solution. But what?
David thought of the original plan. It may have possibly worked, had Uriah cooperated. But even that was no guarantee. What kind of a man hesitated to sleep with his fraa? Especially one as gorgeous as Beth. Jah, Uriah was ab im kopf for sure and certain.
Beth was right, though. Certainly his child could resemble him. Then Uriah would know for sure. There would be no doubt that the bishop had taken another man’s wife, had done the unthinkable. But if Uriah and his wife had been abstaining, it was only a matter of time before he found her with child. One could only hide a pregnancy for so long. Then he’d accuse her before the leaders. Nee, that couldn’t happen. Something had to be done.
If only he and Beth were husband and wife. He closed his eyes, remembering the moments of passion they’d shared. She’d felt so gut in his arms. He could relive that as often as he wished if she belonged to him. But that scenario was impossible, wasn’t it? He quickly shook the thought away.
Ach, Gott…
~
If things went according to plan, David’s dilemma would be resolved. If things went according to plan, he wouldn’t have to worry about Uriah finding out. If things went according to plan, he’d be holding Beth in his arms again—soon—as her husband.
Jah, this had to work. It had to.
~
Beth had made up her mind.
There was no way around this. Sooner or later, Uri would find out. It was only a matter of time.
Tonight, when her husband returned home, she would confess everything. She’d beg his forgiveness. She’d tell him she was sorry and what a mistake she’d made. Perhaps, because her mistake had been with Bishop David, he’d show some leniency in his wrath? She could only hope.
If he decided to move them away, which was what she would suspect, she’d be okay with that. No sense in keeping temptation within reach. Not that she hadn’t learned her lesson. But if the bishop were to approach her again, she was unsure if her weak flesh would be able to stand against him. Nee, it wouldn’t. She’d already failed once. Miserably.
Until Uri returned, she’d pray.
THIRTY-THREE
Joe called out to David. “You sure you don’t want to go to the auction, Bishop? It seems you’ve been missing quite a bit lately.”
“Jah, I’m sure and certain.” David summoned Joe near, before his foreman boarded the van headed for the big auction. “Let Uriah handle the wild stallions alone this time.”
“But, Bishop, he’s never done that before. He usually oversees the purchase of the sheep with Enoch.” Joe protested. “There are at least two or three men, usually more, required for that job. It will be a dangerous job for only one person. Especially one as inexperienced as Uriah.”
“He’s a gut worker, and he’s strong. If anyone can do it, I’m confident Uriah can. It will be a good experience for him.”
“But…his life will be in danger. You’ve seen some of those creatures. They’ve taken several men down.” Joe reasoned.
“Ach…” David waved his hand, dismissing Joe’s concerns.
“He could lose his life.” Joe insisted.
David shrugged casually. “That won’t happen. But if it does, then it is Der Herr’s will. Ain’t so?”
“Really, Bishop?” Joe had never questioned him before. His foreman blew out an uneasy breath and shook his head, confusion and distrust accompanied his stare.
“You each have your own duties and I expect you to do them.” He leveled his gaze at Joe to be sure he understood. “I wouldn’t want to have to find someone to replace you, would I?”
“No, Bishop.” Joe hung his head. “If you’re sure, then?”
“I’m certain sure.” David nodded authoritatively. “Please do as I have requested.”
Joe walked away and David couldn’t help but read the disappointment in his eyes.
He was doing the right thing, he told himself. It would be best this way. Uriah would never have to know that his wife had been unfaithful to him, saving his friend unfathomable heartache. Their act of adultery could remain hidden. David would simply marry Beth after her husband was gone and no one would be the wiser when their boppli came along – even if it was a few weeks early. He would keep his respected position as bishop and nothing would ever be mentioned about their deed again.
And the best part about all of it? He’d get to have beautiful Beth for his own, to have and to hold whenever he pleased. Jah, his plan was
a brilliant one, if he did say so himself.
~
How long had she been on her knees until she heard a knock at the door? Long enough to fall asleep, it seemed. She wiped her eyes, attempting to dispel her exhaustion—something she seemed to have a lot of lately.
Could it be Uri already? Ach, she wasn’t ready. Could anyone ever be ready to reveal a secret as shocking as this? Nee, she didn’t think so.
But Uri wouldn’t knock on the door. He’d walk in. Must be an Englischer, jah.
She now stared at the officer that stood on her small porch. What was a police officer doing on her porch?
“Are you Beth Shetler, Uriah’s wife?”
She nodded. Sudden dread filled her heart. Had something happened to Uri?
“I’m sorry, Mrs. Shetler, but your husband was killed in an accident today.”
Beth’s heart plummeted into her stomach. She attempted to process the officer’s words. “Killed? But why? How? What accident?”
“I’m afraid he was unloading some wild horses from one of the trailers and he was trampled to death.”
“Oh no.” Tears rushed to the surface, pooling in her eyes. “Was anyone else injured?”
“No, ma’am, just your husband. He was the only one there. It had been several minutes before he was discovered.”
Her eyes flitted to Joe, Bishop David’s main foreman. Uri was alone? That didn’t sound right. “There was no one there to help him?”
“No, not at that time.” The officer answered.
“But that’s a dangerous job. Why would he do it alone?” Her accusatory question was aimed at Joe.
The officer shrugged, but Joe spoke. “Bishop David insisted Uriah do it alone. Everyone else had other tasks to tend to.” He glanced at her then quickly looked away. Did he feel guilty?
“Bishop David? I don’t understand.” But she did. She understood the situation perfectly. She could read it in Joe’s eyes. David knew what could happen. He had planned this.
“Oh.” The officer reached into his pocket. “I thought you might want this. He was clutching it when he…” He shrugged and handed Beth the handkerchief she’d given Uriah when they were courting.
Uri had been thinking of me. She stared at it forlornly, unable to form words. She received it from the officer’s hand, shaking her head.
“I…I’m sorry.” A tear slid down her cheek, then another. “I…I have to go.”
She turned back into her house and ran toward her bedroom. Once inside, she threw herself at the mercy of her bed and wept uncontrollably.
Uri was gone. She’d never see him again. How could this be?
THIRTY-FOUR
A knock sounded on David’s bedroom door and he wondered who would bother him there. Everyone knew this was where he retreated for quiet and solitude.
“Yes?” he called through the door.
His housekeeper replied, “Uriah Shetler’s widow is here to see you.”
David smiled. How wonderful it would be to see Beth. Now that her husband was out of the picture, there was no reason they couldn’t be together. His plan had worked flawlessly so far.
“Send her in,” he said.
He moved to the window and peered out. No need for Beth to know he was overeager to see her. He didn’t want to spoil what he’d been planning.
At the click of the closing door, he turned.
Ach…
If he wasn’t mistaken, Beth didn’t look happy to see him. Did she have tears in her eyes? She marched toward him, full steam ahead.
“How could you?” Her hand flew from her side and across his face before he realized what was happening, the force of the blow resulting in a sharp sting.
She lifted her hand again, but he caught her delicate wrist this time and forced her into his arms. Tears cascaded down her cheeks like a waterfall after a raging storm, as her tension gave way to surrender. He released her wrist and rubbed her back, allowing her to cry against his chest for as long as she needed.
“Shh…it’s all right.” He gently massaged her back as sobs shook her body. “It’ll be all right.”
It took several minutes before she was able to speak. Her breaths seemed labored. He wished he could kiss away her pain. “Uri’s gone.” She hiccupped. “You…you killed him.”
He swallowed. If there had been another way…
But there wasn’t. “Not directly, but yes, Uriah has passed on to his reward in Glory. I did ask him to unload the horses on his own. He could have chosen not to, if he felt it was too dangerous.”
“David, you are the leader of our people. Uri admired you. He trusted you. He would follow your lead and your command, even if it might have put him in danger.”
“Well, tell me this, then. Why would he not follow my lead, my command, when I insisted that he take a holiday?” He sighed. “Beth, I tried. You know I did. We tried. If only Uriah had listened to my words. If only he’d done what I’d asked.”
“Perhaps that would have helped, jah, but him staying for a holiday would not change the fact of who this boppli’s father is.” She lightly touched her abdomen.
“Nee, you are right. It would not.”
She shook her head. “How…? Why…? He didn’t do anything wrong. He was innocent. I loved him.” Another wave of tears escaped her lashes.
“I’m sorry, Beth, but it had to be this way.”
She shook her head. “No. No, it didn’t. He didn’t have to die.”
“Look at me.” He lifted her chin. “We have spared Uriah much pain. Now, he will never know that you were unfaithful to him, that the two of us committed adultery.”
She frowned, seeming to take in his words. Then she shook her head. “I wish that were true. But I think Uri could have known. I’m sure he suspected—”
“We won’t dwell on that, Beth. It’s done.” He tipped her chin up with his finger, lifting her gaze to his once again. “Okay? It’s done.”
“I…I was going to tell him.” A tear slipped down her cheek. “I’m sure he would have forgiven me. Forgiven us.”
“Ach, Beth. This boppli of ours…” He placed his hand over her abdomen. “We don’t have to hide it now.”
He took her hands in his, waited until she met his eyes. “I want to marry you, Beth.” His tone was gentle.
“Nee! You…you have Uri killed and you expect me to marry you?” Her voice screeched. “You’re the last person I want to marry.”
“Ach, Beth…” The words hurt, even though he knew she’d spoken them out of grief and they weren’t true.
She turned away from him, trembling.
He hated to see her pain. Pain that he’d caused. “I know you don’t believe that, schatzi.”
He brought his hand up to comfort her, then thought better of it and dropped it back down at his side. He sighed. “Don’t you see? If we marry, no one will be any wiser. They will believe that this child was conceived in the marriage bed. No one will question it. We can avoid a huge scandalous mess. We can take this wrong and make it right. We can give this boppli a mother and a father that love him. We can give our boppli a normal life.”
She sneered. “You’re just worried about your reputation.”
“Ach, Beth…” He sighed. “Jah, you’re right. I am concerned about that, for sure and for certain. But I’m also worried about yours. About our boppli.”
“But what about my mourning period? Surely we cannot be wed until it’s over.”
He exhaled. Gut, she was at least thinking about it. “I think I can pull a few strings as the bishop, ain’t so? Let me handle that.”
She nodded as though she wasn’t completely confident in his plan. He wasn’t even completely confident in his plan. Because if the other leaders denied his request… Nee, he wouldn’t entertain that thought.
He tentatively touched her shoulder. “Will you be my fraa, Beth? Do you think you can forgive me? Perhaps even love me someday?” Ach, he hated talking to her back. If she’d only turn around.
> She remained quiet. Not a good sign.
He sighed. “I know we went about this the wrong way, but I really do think we would make a gut husband and wife. I want to share all my days with you, to wake up every morning with you by my side, to grow old with you.”
She turned now and studied him.
“Do you think you could learn to love me? As your husband?”
She swallowed and he read the indecision in her eyes. “Jah.”
“Gut.” He squeezed her hands. “I will talk to the leaders this week.” He brought her close and kissed her lips, lingering for just a moment. “It will all work out, you’ll see, lieb.”
THIRTY-FIVE
David eyed the other leaders of his community, as each of them sat in Minister Miller’s living room. He blew out a breath.
“You want to marry Uriah Shetler’s widow?” Minister Miller frowned.
David nodded. “I do.”
“As soon as her mourning period is complete, you can bring this up again,” the deacon said.
“I’d like special permission to marry her right away.” Ach, why were his hands sweaty? He wiped them on his pants. This was not how he’d envisioned this conversation.
All eyebrows in the room shot up. All beards sagged momentarily. All eyes turned to him.
“It wonders me why you would request something that you know goes against the Ordnung?” Deacon Yoder frowned, his expression laced with suspicion. “This isn’t like you, David.”
Ach, but he’d been doing a lot of things lately that were atypical of his character.
David swallowed. How could he keep the clamminess from his hands? If the leaders went to shake his hand after this meeting, they’d certainly know something was amiss. He had to keep his cool. “Well, I…uh…you remember what happened with my first fraa? Bishop Saul’s dochder, Michaela? I’ve been without a wife for a while now. And as a bishop, I should probably have a family, ain’t so?”
An Amish Betrayal Page 11