Evil Thing

by Serena Valentino

  They tell me I should say goodbye, but I can’t bring myself to say it. Not yet.

  It had been almost a month since the fire. I was still staying with my mama in Belgrave Square, sequestered in my old room, refusing to see anyone. That is until the morning my mama came crashing into my room with a battalion of maids. She directed them like a great general, pointing them in various directions and barking orders.

  “Rose! Open those curtains! It’s depressing in here. And open a window. Lady Cruella hasn’t had fresh air or sunlight in weeks!”

  “Do not open those curtains!” I said from under the blankets, frightening my mother’s maid. I wasn’t about to get up. I didn’t care how many maids my mother brought into my room. I was staying put. I pulled the duvet over my head and tried to hide from the mayhem that overtook my solitude.

  From under my duvet I could see the room was filled with bright afternoon light, and I could make out the shadows of many servants scurrying around the room doing my mama’s bidding.

  “Violet, draw Lady Cruella a bath!” barked my mother, startling me. I had refused any visitors for weeks, and I wasn’t used to all that noise and commotion. It was unsettling to be besieged by so much happening at once, and all I wanted to do was go back to sleep. I was exhausted and heartbroken. I didn’t understand why my mama was trying to force me up.

  “I’m not taking a bath!” I said from under the covers.

  “Cruella, stop acting like a child and come out from under those covers at once! You will get out of that bed, bathe, and dress yourself!” my mother said. I could see her shadow standing over me from under the duvet.

  “Sarah! Where’s that tray I asked to be prepared for Lady Cruella?”

  “In the hall, your ladyship,” the maid said, rushing to go get it.

  “I’m not hungry!” I yelled after her, but she was back with the tray before I could finish protesting. I could see her shadow standing over me, holding the tray and waiting for me to sit up.

  “Cruella, sit up, and at least have a little something to eat.” This time my mother’s voice was raised. She was getting angry. And that was the last thing I wanted, so I reluctantly came out from under the covers, squinting because the room was flooded with light.

  The room went silent. Everyone stared at me.

  “My goodness! Everyone out of the room at once! Violet, call the doctor! Now!” My mama looked positively gobsmacked. All the maids scattered like frightened mice.

  “What is it, Mama? What’s wrong?” I asked. Her face was filled with a mixture of worry and horror. “Mama? What is it?”

  “Nothing, my dear. Nothing,” she said, petting my hand and trying to pretend everything was all right.

  “Mama! What’s the matter?” I said, getting up from the bed. She was starting to frighten me. “Tell me what’s wrong, please!”

  “It’s your hair, Cruella. It’s turned white!”

  My mama has always been rather dramatic and prone to exaggeration. The fact was, only half of my hair had turned white. The other half was still pitch-black, as it had always been. But leave it to Mama to send the household into a panic over something as trivial as my hair color.

  Later that afternoon the doctor came by. My mother was fretting, coddling, and hovering so much he tried to send her out of the room.

  “I have no intention of leaving the room, Dr. Humphrey. Just look at the state of her! Look at her hair. What in blazes caused that?”

  “Lady De Vil has experienced a tremendous and sudden loss. She is suffering from shock and grief,” he said.

  “But will her hair go back to normal?” my mother asked. The doctor, however, didn’t seem concerned for my hair.

  “What worries me is how thin your daughter has become,” he said, studying me. “I think with a little rest, more sunlight, and a sensible diet she will be blooming again.”

  After the doctor left, Mama talked me into taking dinner in the dining room that evening. She instructed the maid to lay out a lovely dress for me to wear to dinner while I was in the bath, but I couldn’t bring myself to wear anything other than my black dress. The one I was wearing when I learned my Jack had died. I found it cleaned and hanging in the closet next to a number of dresses and nightgowns my mama had purchased for me and had sent up to my room. It still looked good on me. Slinky, black, and stunning. It went perfectly with my jade earrings and the new jade ring Jack had given me for my birthday.

  As I stood in my old room looking at myself in the mirror, I seemed a new person: thinner, older, somehow wiser and more elegant. I had changed. And I was living in an entirely different world. One without my Jack. It seemed fitting that I, too, was different. I decided I liked my new beauty. I liked the severity of it. I even liked my hair. Only one thing was missing: my fur coat. I put it on. I was myself again. I went downstairs. I was ready.

  That was to be my last evening with my mama, though I didn’t know it at the time. The table was set beautifully, and my mother’s cook had outdone herself, preparing all my favorite dishes in an effort to tempt me. I sat across from my mother, picking at my plate. She looked at me nervously, as she had been doing since she’d seen my transformation.

  “Cruella, I’ve arranged for all your favorites. Won’t you eat something?” she asked.

  “Thank Mrs. Baddeley for me, please,” I said. “And give her my apologies for not having an appetite.” My mother looked at me as if I was losing my mind.

  “Mrs. Baddeley has left our household, Cruella. I told you, remember?” The fact was, I had for-gotten.

  “How am I to be expected to remember these insignificant, mundane household changes, Mother?” I asked dismissively, but the truth was I wondered how I had managed to forget.

  “You’re right, my dear,” she said, still looking at me with concern. I assumed she was still getting used to my hair. Then, “Cruella, why are you wearing the fur coat I gave you for your birthday at the dinner table?”

  “You didn’t get me this coat, Mama. Jack did. It was a gift for my birthday,” I said, smiling at her. She looked so confused.

  “My darling, I got you that coat for your birthday.” She looked at me with narrowed eyes. It now occurs me that I must have been suffering from some sort of memory loss due to the shock of losing Jack. It’s no wonder my poor mama was so concerned. But then I remembered.

  “So you did, Mama. I remember now. You gave me the coat, Jack gave me the ring, and Papa gave me my earrings.”

  “Yes, my dear,” she said, looking no less worried.

  “I don’t know what I would do without you, Mama. I can’t imagine being on my own right now. I’m so lucky to have such a sweet mama, so willing to take care of me.”

  And I was so happy to be in my childhood home, to be surrounded by things that made me feel comforted.

  “You really must eat, Cruella. You’ve become so thin,” she said, clearly still worried.

  “I don’t wish to eat, Mama. Please don’t worry. I think I may be suffering from a lapse of memory,” I said, trying to make her feel better.

  “The doctor said that may happen. Perhaps I better have Mrs. Web call the doctor and tell him.”

  “Don’t fret, Mama,” I said. “I assure you I am quite well.”

  “Did Violet not lay out that new dress I bought you, Cruella? That dress you’re wearing is hanging off you.”

  “Violet? Oh yes, the maid. Yes, she did, Mama, but I wanted to wear this one,” I said, giving her a sly look.

  “Well, it’s morbid, wearing the same dress …” But she stopped herself. She was clearly getting rather vexed with me, but tempering her anger because she was worried about my health.

  “I’m sorry, Mama.” I pushed my plate away, deciding I was tired of pretending I was going to eat dinner. “I really don’t wish to eat dinner, Mama.”

  “I know you’re distraught, dear. Let’s move into the drawing room. I have something important I want to discuss with you.”

  I rolled my eyes. “
Why can’t we just sit in here? And what is it we need to discuss?” I asked.

  “Well, for starters, we really must do something about your staff. I can’t keep them on here in addition to my own. Won’t you change your mind about keeping them on yourself? You will, of course, be needing a staff you can trust once you’re in your new home.”

  “My new home?” I asked, blinking. I had no idea what she was talking about. What new home? I intended on staying right where I was. In the place I felt safest. In the home my father left me.

  “Of course, my dear, you’ll be wanting to start your new life in a new home of your own. Or maybe you will want to travel? Whatever you decide, my dear.”

  “Well, Mama, I was thinking of asking if I could stay here. We can make some sort of arrangements for Jackson and Miss Pricket.”

  My mother looked very uncomfortable.

  “Well, the fact is, Cruella, I am closing up the house.”

  “What do you mean, closing up the house?” I didn’t understand. I just gave her the house and now she was closing it?

  “I mean exactly that.” She poured us both some tea, deciding she couldn’t wait to have Mrs. Web show us into the drawing room.

  “But I thought I would stay here. At least for a while longer,” I said. “If you want to travel, I can stay here and take care of the house. I promise I won’t be mean to Mrs. Web.”

  “That won’t be possible, Cruella. I’ve arranged to have everything crated and sold at auction. I have two weeks before I have to vacate for the new owners, after which I don’t plan to return to London for quite some time. I’m letting all of the staff go except for Mrs. Web. She is coming along with me as my companion.”

  “Two weeks? So you’re not closing up the house, Mama. You’ve sold it. Right out from under me.”

  “It’s my house, Cruella. I can do with it as I please.” I was livid. I had just lost my own home and my husband. All I wanted was to stay someplace where I felt safe. I couldn’t believe she’d sold the house so quickly, and without telling me about it. Sir Huntley had warned me this might happen.

  “The moment I signed everything over to you, you’ve sold it. I can’t believe I was so foolish.”

  I stood up, unable to sit still. I was so angry with her. But there was nothing to be done about it now. There was no sense in fighting about it with my mother at that point. Anyway, she changed the subject and saved me from having to pursue the conversation.

  “Speaking of Sir Huntley, I’ve taken the liberty of inviting him over after dinner this evening. I did extend an invitation to dinner as well, but he declined, saying he would come after the dinner hour. He’s eager to speak with you about Jack’s will.”

  It seemed my mother was full of surprises that evening.

  “I’m not ready to discuss Jack’s will, Mama. I really wish you had asked me if I was up to seeing my solicitor,” I said, slamming down the glass.

  “Sir Huntley is more than our solicitor, Cruella. He’s been with our family for a long time. He’s almost one of the family.”

  I suddenly burst out laughing. I was in disbelief. Who was this woman? Surely not my mama. “Sir Huntley! A member of the family? Come on now, you despise the man!” I said. “What exactly are you playing at, Mama? I may have suffered a lapse of memory, but I do remember your utter contempt for Sir Huntley.”

  “Very well, Cruella. I hardly know what to say to you while you’re in this state. You’re acting so strangely. I’m just trying to make things easier between us. . . .”

  But before she could say anything more, Jackson came into the room.

  “Are the ladies ready to go into the drawing room? Sir Huntley will be arriving shortly,” he said, giving me a sad look. Part of me wanted to stand up and hug the man. I felt like a lost little girl, sitting in my mother’s dining room. And I felt so alone. Papa and Anita were gone, and now Jack. And Mama was abandoning me. Who else did I have left but Jackson and Miss Pricket? But I couldn’t forgive him for not saving Jack. And I couldn’t stand the pity.

  “Are the ladies ready to go into the drawing room?” I sneered. “Seeing as we’re all ladies here, with the exception of you, Jackson, I would say that the ladies are indeed ready to go to the sitting room.”

  “Cruella, what is wrong with you?” My mother looked horrified.

  “Why do you suppose it’s just we ladies dining this evening? Why do you suppose my husband isn’t here with us?” I knew I was breaking Jackson’s heart, but I didn’t care.

  “Cruella, stop this at once. Jackson, I’m so sorry.” My mother was mortified. And part of me was appalled by my own behavior, but I couldn’t stop myself. I was heartbroken, but also annoyed. My earring was bothering me again, and the more it irritated me, the more I wanted to scream. So I took it out on poor Jackson.

  It was as if an overwhelming rage was exploding within me, and I was directing it at this poor man, a man who had treated me like his own daughter when I was growing up. But I couldn’t stop myself. I couldn’t forgive him. I couldn’t stop hating him. Even if now was the time I needed him most.

  “I told you to keep him out of my sight, Mama!” I said, throwing the glass across the room.

  And poor Jackson left without a word. And the room was suddenly silent, just for a moment. All I was left with was my rage. “How dare you parade him in here like that! I told you I didn’t wish to see him!”

  “How dare I? How dare you speak to Jackson that way! Control yourself, Cruella! What has come over you? You’ve hurt Jackson’s feelings. He’s always doted on you since you were a little girl, and I am sure he feels terrible about what happened to your Jack! It’s not Jackson’s fault he survived the fire and Jack did not!” she said. And she was right. But I couldn’t make myself see it in that moment. My hate was too strong. Everything was crumbling around me. I was falling down a deep hole with nothing to cling to.

  “Hurt Jackson’s feelings indeed! Since when have you given one jot about our staff’s feelings, Mother?” I snapped, fidgeting with my earring, twisting it and trying to make it stop pinching.

  “Cruella, please calm down, and do stop fiddling with your damned earring. Sir Huntley will be here soon if he’s not already in the drawing room, so please lower your voice and compose yourself.”

  “That’s rich, Mother. You telling me to compose myself for Sir Huntley.” I laughed so hard I almost choked. “I’m sure you have much to do to prepare for your move. I can talk to Sir Huntley on my own.”

  I walked out of the dining room, feeling a bit unsteady on my feet. Everything was changing. My Jack was gone, and soon my childhood home would be gone. Where would I go? Well, at least I had money enough to do whatever I liked. Live wherever I wanted. I could hardly imagine living in one of Jack’s houses without him. What I really wanted was to stay in my old home, but that wasn’t an option. I thought of buying it from the new owners. I would ask my mother who they were and offer them an absurd amount to take it off their hands. No matter the cost, it would be worth it. I wanted to return to my original life plan. I wanted to live alone in my father’s house. And maybe I would keep on Jackson and Miss Pricket. They were, after all, the only people I had left. I could learn to forgive them, in time. And maybe, just maybe, I would see if Anita would be up for an adventure. Surely a life with me would be far better than settling for a life with that foolish musician.

  Then I remembered. Sir Huntley was waiting for me.

  After Sir Huntley left, Mama came into the room to check on me. I was sitting on the leather love seat. I was numb. I had nothing. Nothing but the deed to a house I didn’t even want. But I will get to that.

  “My dear. Are you quite all right? Sir Huntley looked dreadful as he left. Did he have bad news?”

  I couldn’t bring myself to tell her I had been reduced to almost nothing. I couldn’t disappoint her like that.

  “No, Mama. I’m just sad,” I said. “And I’m sorry for how I acted. How I spoke to you earlier. I don’t know what
came over me. I haven’t been myself.” I twisted the jade ring Jack had given me. She sat down next to me on the love seat, wrapping her arms around me.

  “Well, it’s no wonder, my darling. I felt the same way after your father died. That’s why I left, my dear Cruella. I was so angry. I felt so abandoned and so alone.”

  She wouldn’t have been alone if she had stayed home with me, I thought, but I didn’t say so. I had lost everyone I loved. I didn’t want to lose my mother as well, even if I was confused and angered by her choices.

  “I was afraid of taking my anger out on you after your father died, my Cruella,” she said. “But I thought of you every day I was gone.”

  I smiled at her. “And you sent me gifts. I knew you were thinking of me. I knew you loved me, Mama.” My heart softened to her. I felt like I understood her better now that I was suffering the same way she had.

  “But we are both in the same boat now, aren’t we, dear? Both abandoned. Both untethered. Both able to distinguish ourselves anyway we see it. Cruella, use that great fortune of yours and make the best possible life for yourself. You never intended to marry anyway. Travel the world. Build yourself a beautiful life.”

  I broke down crying. I had no means to do any of it. And I hated telling Mama.

  “I have nothing, Mama. Nothing at all except what you see here. Everything is gone,” I said, crying into my mother’s arms.

  “Oh, my dear, I know you loved Jack very much, and it might feel that way, especially at first, but it isn’t so. You still have his fortune. Just as I have your father’s.” She released me from her embrace and took both of my hands. “I promise you, Cruella, everything will be okay.”

  “But it won’t, Mama. Jack left me nothing—there was nothing to leave me. His businesses were underwater, and what was left was seized by his unscrupulous business partners. He was struggling the whole time we were married, and I knew none of it. I have nothing left.”

  “This is shocking! How could Jack let something like that happen?” she asked.