Confessions Of An Old Lady

by Christina Morgan

  “Why? What are you going to do to him?” Now, I was worried that maybe they were going to jump him in, the way street gangs do to new members.

  Leroy looked at his watch. “Hey, it’s time. We’ll just show you. Come with us.” Everyone in the group started walking toward Spider, who was standing with a small group of people. “It’s time, prospect!” Leroy yelled at him. “You ready for this?”

  Spider looked nervous and excited at the same time. “Hell yeah!” he said, although the look on his face betrayed his anxiety about whatever was about to happen.

  A loud cheer went up from the thirty-some-odd people that were gathered to form a circle around Leroy and Spider. They all started chanting, “Patch! Patch! Patch! Patch!”

  Leroy used his hands to gesture for everyone to quiet down and then he addressed the crowd.

  “Now, as everyone knows, we’re here because Spider, here, has paid his dues and has earned the right to wear the Lords of Chaos cuts!”

  The crowd cheered.

  “So, tonight, we’re going to patch young Spider here in. From tonight forward, he will be an official member of the Lords of Chaos Motorcycle Club.”

  They cheered again.

  “Now, come over here, Spider.” I was almost trembling with anxiety about what I was about to witness. I didn’t know Spider personally, but the few times I’d interacted with him, he’d been very sweet to me. I didn’t want to see him hurt.

  Spider moved closer to Leroy. Sonny was standing next to me still and I wondered why he wasn’t standing next to his father.

  “Take your shirt off, son,” Leroy instructed. Spider did as commanded and removed his black leather jacket and his black Lords of Chaos t-shirt. He was even scrawnier than I had thought as he stood shirtless in the cool September night air.

  “Melanie?” Leroy motioned for her to step forward and she did, handing him some patches and an industrial-sized staple gun. I couldn’t imagine what on earth Leroy was going to do with a staple gun that large. He turned his attention back to Spider. “You ready for this?”

  Spider nodded silently.

  “Are you sure?”

  “Hell yeah!” Spider shouted. “Bring it on.”

  But again, even I could see him shivering from where I stood and I doubted it was just the cool autumn breeze.

  As the crowd cheered, Leroy took one of the patches and placed it on Spider’s thin, shivering, bare chest. He took the huge staple gun and to my horror, stapled the patch right onto Spider’s chest. As he did, Spider flinched only slightly. If it were me, I’d have jumped away, screaming in pain. The crowd hooted and hollered as a tiny river of blood started to trickle down Spider’s chest.

  “That…is your name patch. Next…is your Lords of Chaos patch. The most important patch you will ever wear. It can only be taken from you if you betray or turn your back on this club, but do you, Spider, swear to always be true to the club until the day you die?”

  “Hell yeah!” Spider responded.

  “Then, here’s your final patch.” Leroy took the other patch and stapled it to the other side of Spider’s chest. Again, a line of blood trickled down his chest.

  This was one of the most barbaric things I had seen in a while, but it was over finally and Spider was an official member of the crew. The crowd dispersed and Leroy went to his truck and turned up the music—Credence Clearwater’s “Fortunate Sun”—which thumped and screeched over the speakers.

  Sonny and I started milling about and talking with different groups of people. Each time, Sonny introduced me as his “old lady” or “girlfriend.” Everyone was extremely nice to me and it was hard to remember that each and every one of these people were hardened criminals.

  At one point, as we stood there talking to his cousin Jimmy and Amanda, Leroy walked up to Sonny and whispered something in his ear. I couldn’t hear anything he said, but whatever it was got Sonny’s attention, because he immediately walked away and followed his father without saying a word to me. I watched as Leroy and Sonny leaned in close to one another and talked very animatedly. Sonny shook his head and walked away from his dad and toward me with determination.

  “I’m sorry, Trish. I’ve got to go.” He leaned in and kissed me on the cheek and turned to leave.

  “Wait! Where are you going? You’re just going to leave me here? I want to know what’s happening.”

  “It’s club business. I can’t really tell you, but it’s serious and I have to go take care of it. Melanie will take you home. You’ll be fine.” The coolness in his tone bothered me.

  “What could be so important that you’d have to just take off and leave me here alone with a bunch of people I don’t know?” I didn’t want to sound like a whiny, possessive girlfriend, but I had to figure out what was going on. After all, that’s what I was really there to do.

  He hesitated for a brief moment and then turned back to face me. He leaned in and whispered in my ear. “Listen, there’s some things you don’t know…things you don’t need to know. Not because I want to keep secrets from you, but I’m trying to protect you. All I can tell you is that some business we’ve got going on has gone bad. Someone didn’t hold up their end of a business deal and you don’t mess with club business.”

  Immediately my interest was piqued. There was something happening that was probably criminal in nature, but Sonny wasn’t yet willing to confide in me. I worried that maybe he never would. If he said he wouldn’t tell me to “protect” me, maybe he’d never let me in on his secrets.

  I had to figure out what was going on, but I had no clue what to do next.

  Chapter 14

  As soon as Melanie dropped me off at the house, I went to the living room and grabbed the fake book from the bookshelf. I opened it up, pulled out my white iPhone, and told Siri to call Agent Renley’s number. It only rang twice before he answered, even though it was almost midnight.

  “Agent Rockford. Is everything okay? It’s late.” I knew that Renley was married and had a young son, but I didn’t even think about that when I called and woke him up in the middle of the night.

  “Everything’s okay. I just wanted to let you know…something is going down in the club. I’m not sure what. Sonny wouldn’t tell me. All he would say was that it was ‘club business,’ and that someone ‘messed with the club,’ whatever that means.”

  “I’m surprised you even know that much. How did you get that information?”

  “I did what I had to do, Renley, and now I’m closer than ever to the inner circle of the club. He’s taking me to club functions and he’s confiding in me, but not about club business.”

  “It’s early yet. If in only a couple of weeks he’s confiding in you at all, it’s just a matter of time before he’ll tell you even more. Just hang in there and keep doing what you’re doing. Now, if that’s all, I’m going back to sleep.”

  “Yeah, that’s it. It’s just that I feel like something big is happening. I’ll see what I can find out. Later, Renley.”

  “Goodnight, Rockford.” The line disconnected.

  I paced the living room, my hand on my hip, trying to figure out a way to find out what was going on inside the crew. I just kept thinking that, as I paced the living room, something big was going down somewhere out there and I needed to know what that something was.

  My pacing was interrupted when Sonny called on my black iPhone, which I answered immediately.

  “Sonny! Are you okay? Is everything all right?” I found I was actually a little worried about his well-being.

  “I’m fine. Everything’s been handled and I’m perfectly fine. Club business can get a little…heavy…sometimes, but you don’t have to worry about me, darlin’. I’m made of steel. Nothing can hurt me.”

  “Oh, very funny, but you are not made of steel and so I was worried about you when you sounded so serious about the club business. You looked upset. Why can’t you tell me what happened?” Although I didn’t want to push too hard, I figured any girlfriend of Sonny Jackso
n’s would probably push a little to find out what he was hiding from her.

  “I can’t tell you over the phone. I’ll head over to your place now. Be there in ten minutes.”

  Exactly ten minutes later, Sonny was knocking on my door—ever the punctual criminal. I let him in and offered him some sweet tea, which he gratefully accepted.

  “Okay, now what’s going on?” I asked urgently.

  “Sit down,” he instructed. We both sat down on the brown suede couch in the living room. “There are some things you need to know if we’re going to be together. There are also some things that I will never be able to tell you and that’s just for your own protection. You see…some of the things that we do in the club aren’t necessarily above the board.”

  “You mean…they’re illegal,” I clarified.

  “Well, yeah, technically. But I’m not a bad guy, Trish. It’s just the family business. My dad founded this charter back in the seventies with a bunch of his closest buddies and over the years, they’ve had to do certain things to bring in money for the club. Some of those things are slightly illegal, but we’re not hurting anybody…at least, no one that don’t deserve to be hurt.”

  “So what, then? Drugs? Guns? I’ve seen on TV where some motorcycle clubs are basically their own criminal syndicate. Is that what this club is? It’s okay, Sonny. You can tell me. I’m not going to judge you. Remember, I don’t necessarily have the cleanest history, either.”

  “Like I said, I can’t tell you specifics—for your protection, of course. But suffice it to say that we have to watch our backs almost every day. We’ve got not only our rival crews to worry about, but the feds and the local police are constantly up our asses too.”

  I realized that no matter how hard I pushed, he was not ready to give me specifics, so I backed down a little. “I understand,” I said, placing my hand on his knee. “But I want you to know that you can trust me. I’m never going to do anything to hurt you…or the club. Your friends and your father have been so nice to me. I’d never do anything to put you or them in jeopardy. Whatever happened tonight, that you won’t or can’t tell me about…has it been taken care of, at least? Do I need to worry about you over this?”

  “No. It’s taken care of. The club always takes care of business. I’m fine,” he said reassuringly. “Hey, you need any help around here?” he asked, changing the subject.

  I looked around at all of the boxes I had intentionally left stacked throughout the house. “I’ve pretty much got it under control. Now all I have to do is sell all of this shit and get the house listed. I guess I’m going to have to have a yard sale.”

  “Come here.” Sonny grabbed my hand and pulled me over to where I was now sitting on his knee. “Why are you in such a hurry to get this place sold? Don’t you want to stay around here a little longer…with me?”

  I reminded him that I only “lived in Lexington,” which was only twenty or thirty minutes away, but he was insistent that I stay in Nicholasville longer.

  “It’ll take six months, maybe a year or more to sell this house, and that’s after I get this shit divided up with the relatives or sold. Don’t worry…” I said, stroking his scruffy cheek. “…I’m not going anywhere anytime soon.”

  This seemed to satisfy him, at least temporarily. “Want to come over for dinner tomorrow night? Melanie’s cooking.”

  “Sure. Just let me have tomorrow to sort through some of this stuff and I’ll head over that way around five o’clock. Is that okay?”

  “Of course it is. Do you want some help?”

  I stood up from his lap. I couldn’t agree to let him help me, because I had no idea what they had put in these boxes and most of them were probably empty. “No, thanks. I’ve got it under control.”

  “All right, then. See ya tomorrow night, darlin’.” He stood up and tightened the bandana he wore every day.

  He leaned in and kissed me quickly but sweetly on the lips, then turned and walked toward the front door. After opening it, he turned and winked at me, then left, once again leaving me alone in the small, empty house.

  ***

  The next day, I woke up and decided to go for a run around the elementary school that was two doors down from the house. I was bored to tears, plus I had to clear my mind. I always did my best thinking while I was running. It started when I was little. Every time I was upset about anything, I would dash out the front door and run around the neighborhood. I always came back home later, feeling renewed and refreshed, not to mention clear-minded.

  I laced up my black, blue, and white Saucony running shoes and headed out the front door. I could feel the gravel in the pavement through the rubber soles of my shoes and hear it crunching beneath my feet.

  Being two different people was starting to take its toll on my mind. Not only did I have to remember my cover story every minute that I was with Sonny, I had to remind myself that he was my mark and everything we were doing—the cuddling, the kissing, the sex—was all for an assignment. Of course, he didn’t know that. It was part of what was eating away at me on the inside. I knew he was a criminal, but I still felt guilty for leading him on and lying to him, because as I got to know Sonny, I started to see the human underneath the façade of a hardened motorcycle gang member.

  Then there was the inner conflict I had over what exactly I was feeling for Sonny. If Renley or anyone asked me, I would answer without hesitation that I have no feelings for the man and this is only an assignment. But in those quiet moments when I was alone and there was only me, I knew there was a part of me—I wasn’t sure how big—that really enjoyed Sonny’s company and was starting to have real feelings for him.

  I mentally scolded myself and reminded myself that falling in love with my mark—in this case, a convicted criminal and suspected murderer—was not just a bad idea, it was against protocol. Obviously, you can’t really bring down your mark if you are in love with him. It was a horrible ethical conflict and I was right smack in the middle of it. I hadn’t expected this to happen. Before this assignment started, I was expecting some big, stinky, sweaty, dirty, meat-head criminal. What I saw when I looked at Sonny was a good-looking and sincerely nice person who was starting to have feelings for me…and from what I could tell, those feelings were genuine.

  I came to no resolutions during my run. I never did when I pondered this situation. I had no idea how I was going to handle it and what I was going to do in the end. I decided all I could do was take everything one step at a time and try not to get too ahead of myself. I had to have faith it would all work itself out in the end.

  I showered and threw on my baby blue fleece robe and fuzzy house slippers. This would normally be the point in the evening when I would curl up with Cleo on the couch and maybe even fall to sleep reading a Jennifer Weiner book or watching The Bachelor, but I didn’t have Cleo. I had nobody but myself, which, considering all of the thoughts running through my mind, made me feel lonelier than ever.

  Chapter 15

  I arrived at Sonny’s house right around five o’clock. There were a few other bikes parked in the driveway, so I knew there would be others from the crew joining us. My assumptions were confirmed when I knocked and the door was opened by Melanie, who was wearing a hot pink apron, revealing the large kitchen table surrounded by members of the gang. I waved at Jimmy and his old lady, Amanda, as well as the newest member of the crew, Spider.

  “Hey, Trish! Come on in!” said Leroy with a wave of his hand.

  The people sitting at the table all said “hi Trish” in unison. I counted eleven people once I saw Harry and Connie sitting in the corner in a couple of wooden chairs. I noticed there was a card game going on at the kitchen table.

  “What’s the game?” I asked.

  “Texas Hold ’Em,” Spider answered. “Wanna play?”

  “No thanks, I don’t know how,” I informed them all, a little embarrassed to admit that I didn’t know how to play poker.

  “Oh, that’s no excuse! We’ll teach you! Come on!”
Amanda said cheerfully. “Come on, sit down.”

  I looked around. “Where’s Sonny?”

  “He’s out back with Leroy, splitting wood. Come on and sit down with us,” Harry said from over in the corner.

  I shrugged my shoulders and walked over to the one empty seat at the table and sat down. “Okay, now how do you play this game?” I asked.

  Jimmy proceeded to give me instructions on the game of poker. It wasn’t too hard to follow along, and after a couple of hands, I felt somewhat confident in my newfound card-playing abilities. During the third hand—I think they were letting me win this one—Sonny walked in with Leroy.

  “Trish, hon, what are you doing? You’re not taking all these guys’ money, are you?” Sonny joked. In fact, had we been playing with real money, I would have been about even. I won that hand and the guys all threw their cards on the table and scooted their chairs back, as if they were done with the game of poker forever after losing to a girl who’d only just learned how to play.

  Melanie walked over to the table, carrying a large dish that contained one very large turkey. “Move out of the way, everybody…dinner’s ready.” She gingerly placed the dish down on a red potholder in the center of the table.

  “Smells delicious!” Leroy said as he walked by, slapping Melanie on the ass. She jumped a little and giggled.

  The other ladies, Harry’s wife, Connie and Jimmy’s girlfriend, Amanda, got up from their seats, went to the kitchen, and began picking up other dishes. I decided I should do the same, and so I went over and picked up a dish of what looked like candied yams.

  “A little early for Thanksgiving dinner, isn’t it, Melanie? It’s only September,” commented Jimmy.

  “Well, a turkey was the only thing I could think of that would be big enough to feed us all. Plus, it was on sale,” Melanie said.

  “It looks delicious,” Amanda said to Jimmy.