And Then She Was Gone

by Noonan, Rosalind

  “All I know is, I’ve always been good with hair and makeup, and I know I need a job. So I figured I’d get hooked up with a salon and cut hair, only you need to finish this program and get a license.”

  Lauren complimented Gabby on the orange in her hair, and as the girl talked, she seemed to relax. They were already in Portland, heading for the bridge to Hawthorne, when Gabby leaned forward between the two seats.

  “You do look familiar,” she told Lauren. “Maybe I do remember you. But either way, I can’t help you.”

  Lauren’s voice was clear and calm. “Did you ever see my daughter, Mac, at the compound? She’s three years old.”

  Gabby turned to look out the window. “Maybe. I mean, I know I met Kevin’s kid. I don’t remember where.”

  “We’re trying to find her. I miss her a lot.”

  “Hold on. Did you say Mac is your daughter?”

  Rachel felt Lauren nod.

  “Well, that . . . ,” Gabby huffed out a breath. “Kevin is such a liar. I swear, I never knew Mac was your baby. I would have dumped Kevin in a red-hot second if I knew. He told me Mac was his . . . that her mother had died in childbirth. It was a heartbreak, he said. He was crying, I swear. He was that convincing.”

  “Do you miss him?”

  Good question, Rachel thought. Lauren had a gift for making Gabby know she wasn’t out to hurt her.

  “Yes. No. I miss what I thought we were going to have. We were supposed to get married. He promised. We were going to get married and find a place to live.”

  Rachel bit lips together to keep from commenting. It was best to let Gabby roll.

  “After he got money for Mac, he figured baby-making was our ticket to ride.” Gabby shifted back, touched the ruffles of her maroon shirt, and rubbed her belly. “You can’t tell, can you? The thing is, he got me pregnant, too. He said he’d pay for the hospital and all as long as I agreed to sell the baby, just like Mac. He said lots of people were willing to give good money for a healthy white baby of their own, and that the baby would have a better life, too, living with rich people on the lake or with big farms in the country.”

  “And you were willing to go along with this?” Rachel asked.

  “I was thinking about it. The money would be nice, but something about it didn’t feel right. I mean, I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life crying in my beer because I made a mistake I couldn’t fix.” Gabby explained that Kevin had said they would have a baby they could keep when we were both ready. “After I finished cosmetology school and he got out of that hellhole behind his Aunt Vera’s farm. He said he’d pay for me to get an abortion, but, I don’t know. I just couldn’t do it, you know?”

  Rachel slowed the car as they approached the school. She knew this was valuable information, but she didn’t know if she and Lauren would be able to convince Gabby to go on the record and talk with the police. Gabby and Lauren were talking about babies as she pulled up in front of the beauty academy.

  Gabby glanced at the school entrance and sighed. “Shit. I don’t even want to go inside. They said I’d be able to work with celebrities. That I could do Rihanna and Britney’s hair, and I thought, I know I’m good enough. I can do this. But it’s all a lie. There’s no celebrities around here. The only thing this school prepares you for is sweeping the floor at Quick Cuts.”

  Rachel shot a glance at her daughter, who winced and shrugged. Of course, she couldn’t expect Lauren to have a solution here. Rachel put the car in park and turned to the young woman in the backseat.

  “Gabby, I appreciate your being so forthright with us,” Rachel said. “You really don’t want to go inside, do you?”

  “Hell, no. You got a better idea?”

  “I do.” Steeling her nerves, Rachel put the car in gear and pulled away from the curb. “And if you don’t mind missing school, there’s someone I’d like you to meet.”

  There was an air of reverence in the conference room at the Mirror Lake Police Station; it was as if everyone could feel the shifting planets, the new spin of the Earth that brought them closer to Mac.

  Hank did most of the questioning, with a video camera rolling and a female police officer, Candace Evans, taking notes. Although Rachel and Lauren had been asked to wait in the reception area, Hank had made an exception when Gabby had said she was “down with” having them present. “Why would you kick them to the curb when they’re the reason I’m here in the first place?” she’d asked Hank. Rachel took that to mean that Gabby felt more comfortable with them in the room.

  “So he made a deal to give Mac up for adoption in exchange for money,” Hank said. “Did he use the adoption agency where your sister works to make the deal?”

  “Eleanor didn’t do anything wrong, if that’s what you mean,” she said. “Sure, he went to her first. He kind of got the idea from her, because she’s always talking about these rich people who will give anything for a baby. So she talked to someone at work about it, and they freaked out. Apparently there’s all kinds of laws and regulations about adoption, and you can’t even get paid to give up your baby, except for money for medical bills and stuff. I mean, how stupid is that? Why give up the kid if you’re not getting anything out of it?”

  “So Hawkins didn’t use Eleanor’s employer?” Hank looked down at his files and added, “The Kellerman Agency.”

  “Nope. No money there. So for a while he and Eleanor were putting their heads together and trying to decide what couple Eleanor should go after. You know, someone who’d applied to the agency but maybe wasn’t going to get a baby? Eleanor was going to find someone desperate and loaded, and then either call them or stop in at their house and offer up Mac.”

  “When was this?”

  “That was, like, January or February. But then Mac got sick, and Eleanor didn’t like the plan anymore. She says that people want infants, not three-year-olds, and besides, there was no way she was going to make money on a sick kid. People who are putting up good money want a healthy baby.”

  And a child with a legitimate birth certificate, Rachel thought. It was hard to keep her barbed comments to herself, but she didn’t want to interfere. Gabby Haggart was actually quite gabby, and the girl was a wealth of information on Kevin Hawkins’s adoption plans for Mac.

  In the end, she didn’t know who he sold Mac to. Last she knew, he was giving the little girl to his brother to take her to Utah. “There’s barely any adoption rules in that state. Kevin said Steve would handle it all for a cut of the action.”

  “Did he give Mac to his brother?” Hank asked.

  Gabby said she didn’t know. She helped him take Mac to the clinic back in February, and that was the last she saw of the kid. When she asked, Kevin said the deal was done, and he wasn’t spilling the details for her. “He told me what I didn’t know wouldn’t hurt me. He had to cut the money down to thirty-five hundred because she had that bad cough, but he got the money. Bought me this diamond earring.” She turned to reveal a diamond stud at the bottom of four other gold studs. Gabby described how Kevin worked on her over the next few months, saying they should make a baby so that he could make another sale. “He was so pushy. But I figured if I got pregnant, he’d change his mind. I knew he wouldn’t give up our baby. So one thing led to another. Come April, I found out I was pregnant, and Kevin was all over Eleanor, telling her we’d have a good, healthy, white baby to sell.” She folded her arms. “I was pissed.

  “Next thing I know, I see his mug shot on the news, with him holding up a store. At first I thought he did it for our baby, and I thought it was sort of sweet.” She touched her belly, barely visible under the frilly burgundy shirt. “Then, the kidnapping stuff was all over the news, and I started hearing how the girl at the compound wasn’t his sister.” She gave Lauren a sad look. “I’m sorry, but I thought you were a little slow, that’s what he said. And I never lied to you,” she added, facing the police chief. “Maybe I didn’t tell you the whole truth, but then I never swore on the Bible or anything.”


  After the interview, as she drove back to the house, Rachel told Lauren that she’d been impressed by the people skills she’d demonstrated dealing with Gabby Haggart. “You really stepped up.”

  “It wasn’t so hard because I had something important to say.” Lauren ran her hand over the seat belt, tugging it away from her neck. “I think we make a good team, Mom. I’m the good cop. You’re the bad one.”

  Rachel laughed. “That’s the junior high teacher in me.”

  “Do you think the police will be able to find out who Kevin sold Mac to?” Lauren asked.

  “I do. I think it’s just a matter of time.”

  “I hope so. It’s weird, but I feel sorry for Gabby. She’s not a very smart girl. I was kidnapped by Kevin, but she chose to be his girlfriend. What’s going to happen to her and her baby?”

  Rachel didn’t know, but she felt a thread of pride in the daughter who had compassion for a girl like Gabby, whose prospects were bleak. “Gabby did make some bad choices, but I think she turned a corner when she refused to sell her baby to someone else. Maybe that was a step in the right direction.”

  Lauren nodded. “I hope so. It would be terrible if Kevin ruined her life.”

  Like yours? Rachel thought.

  No, honey, no. Your life isn’t ruined. It’s just beginning.

  Chapter 48

  In the cool shade beside the barn, Lauren reached up with a sponge full of cold water and rubbed it over Yoda’s flank.

  “How does that feel, boy?” she asked, washing him down to relieve the excess heat of the stark summer day.

  In answer, he blew a gentle breath through his nostrils. That feels great.

  “I knew you’d like that. It’s hot out there, and we don’t want you to get overheated.”

  It was the last week of August, and summer had staked its claim on western Oregon. With temperatures in the nineties, Jazz had warned her that all the horses taken out for any strenuous exercise would need to be cooled down when they returned to the barn. “Although I’m not sure how strenuous it is for you to give Mom and me a ride at the same time,” she said as she rubbed down his left side with cold water. “I’ll bet it feels awkward with two people on your back, but you don’t seem to mind.”

  As Lauren moved around the front of the horse to wash down his right side, she couldn’t resist pausing to press the sponge between his eyes and toy with the little tuft of hair that fell down between his ears like bangs.

  “You don’t mind me fussing over you, do you? You like a little love and attention,” she said as she stroked the hair into a clump, then let it feather back over his head.

  “Nah, I don’t think he minds your fussing at all,” Jazz said from behind her.

  “Yoda can speak for himself,” she teased without looking back.

  “Yeah, I know. He says that when you’re done cooling him down, your friend Jazz could use a little love and attention.”

  She laughed, surprised and excited at the meaning behind his words. “Oh, really? I didn’t know you spoke his language.”

  “We have an understanding. It’s a guy thing.”

  She reached down into the bucket and saw his boots pause in front of the horse. When she looked up, there was Jazz, his cowboy hat propped back so that she could see his hair, damp with sweat, his golden skin a contrast to his white teeth as he smiled. Sweat and dust and grime had never looked so good until she had met Jazz here on the ranch.

  “It’s good that you’re washing him down,” he said. “Yoda’s extra vulnerable in the sunshine. Did Mom tell you we use sunscreen on his nose?”

  “Yup. And I rubbed on some more before we went out, just to be safe.” Wynonna had explained that fair horses like Yoda could get sunburn, especially on his sensitive pink nose.

  Jazz scratched the horse’s neck. “You are one lucky dude.”

  “Don’t be jealous.” She leaned down to the bucket again. “I can cool you down too.” With that, she put her hands together to cup some water and splash it onto Jazz.

  “Hey!” He turned away and the water splashed over the back of his T-shirt. “Ahh.” He sighed, then turned and faced her with his arms stretched wide. “Do it again, please.”

  Laughing, she shoveled two more handfuls of water at him.

  “That is awesome. Except I probably smell like horse now.”

  “Nothing wrong with that. We work in a stable.”

  “Yeah, but we have to remember that we’re the humans. We get to shower.”

  Smiling, she continued washing down Yoda as they joked about everything and nothing in particular. That was the way her days went here on the ranch. Therapy often had her digging deep into the past or searching inside her heart, but when she was out here caring for the horses, the talk was lighthearted and the work was satisfying. She had come to love the horses, she felt a strong partnership with Jazz, and the hard work distracted her from the problem in her life that she felt helpless to fix: the constant anxiety over her little girl.

  She was just finishing up, gushing cold water over Yoda’s hindquarters, when Vic called over to her, telling her that Wynonna wanted to see her in the gazebo.

  “A summons from the boss,” Jazz teased. “I’ll finish up here.”

  “No shortcuts,” she said. “This horse doesn’t get turned out until he’s cooled down and brushed.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” he drawled in a cowboy accent.

  As she plunked on her hat and headed away from the barn, Lauren smiled to herself. Where did she learn to talk to a guy that way? Sometimes she couldn’t believe herself lately, but then again, Jazz wasn’t some strange boy she was trying to impress in school. He was Jazz, her friend, her coworker, her buddy.

  She thought about his teasing comment. “Love and affection?” It sounded sort of romantic, like flirting. Had he been flirting? Did he like her?

  Lauren couldn’t tell. But if he felt something special toward her, well, it wouldn’t be a bad thing. Not bad at all.

  Her parents sat opposite Wynonna in the shade of the gazebo, three plastic glasses of iced tea on the table before them. Her boots clicked on the wood until she paused, sensing from her parents’ faces that something was up. Dad looked nervous, almost apologetic, and Mom was forcing a brave smile.

  “What’s wrong?” She wiped her hands on the sides of her jeans. “Did they find Mac?” The words stuck in her throat like a bitter pill.

  Wynonna shook her head. “No, but Hank Todd had another meeting with Kevin Hawkins, and we wanted to talk with you about it. Have a seat.” She reached forward and poured Lauren a glass of iced tea. That was Wynonna, always smooth and gracious.

  Grateful, Lauren took a long drink of the tea before facing her parents again.

  “Hawkins seems to be feeling some remorse about what he did to Mac.” Her father’s face was stern. “He’s promised to give us information about her whereabouts in exchange for a visit from you. He says that he’ll talk, if he can see you.”

  “Oh.” Lauren’s heartbeat was loud in her ears. “I don’t want to see him again.”

  “We know that, and I don’t want you to feel pressured to do this,” Dan said.

  Mom shook her head. “I don’t want you to go. We can protect you from this. We . . . ,” Her lower lip wobbled, and she took a breath to compose herself.

  “Rachel, I know this is difficult for you, for everyone concerned, but there are other factors to consider.” There was a touch of concern in Wynonna’s eyes, but otherwise her face was a moon of peace. “First, Hawkins is offering information about Mac that could be instrumental in her rescue. I know this is important to Lauren.”

  “It’s important to all of us,” Dan added.

  Wynonna nodded. “Yes, and since part of Lauren’s therapy is for her to learn as much about Kevin Hawkins as she can stand, it might give her some closure to confront him in prison.” She turned to Lauren. “It’s something for you to consider. You don’t have to decide today.”

  “I’ll do it,�
�� Lauren said before fear could eat away at her resolve. “I’ll do it for Mac.”

  “Honey, you don’t have to,” Mom said. “It will mean visiting a prison. You’ll be safe. We would be with you, and there would be guards, but it’s bound to be traumatic.”

  “I’ve been through trauma,” Lauren said. “Look, I wish I could be sure I would never see Kevin again in my life, but he knows about Mac. I can’t say no. I need to get my little girl back. You’ve got to understand that.”

  Rachel reached over and took Lauren’s hand, “I do,” she said before tears overtook her.

  “I’ll tell Hank to set it up,” Dad said.

  As he left the gazebo to make the call, Lauren’s gaze fell on the three candles representing past, present, and future. With this meeting, she might be able to change Mac’s future. Resolve settled within her as she thought of the serenity prayer, the part about fixing things that could be changed.

  The courage to change the things I can.

  Dear God, please give me courage.

  Chapter 49

  Lauren was lost—alone in a crowd of strangers in downtown Mirror Lake.

  The clinking melody of a xylophone in the Labor Day Parade made the cyclone of people shoving around her all the more surreal. Why had her parents dragged the family here? Who liked parades, anyway? For Lauren, they ranked right up at the top of the creeper list with clowns and guys who drove vans. But Mom said that Mirror Lake always put on a good parade, with marching bands and street jugglers and acrobats. And some of the guys from Dad’s firehouse were rolling out their shiny new fire truck. The family was committed to the parade and a backyard party at Nora’s mom’s house afterward.

  And then Sierra had gotten permission to go off with her friend, and while pausing to look at the tall Uncle Sam on stilts, Lauren had gotten separated from her parents. Caught in a sardine can of people.