Chasing the Renegade

by Bonnie R. Paulson

  “Tombstone is my favorite movie of all time. That one and Count of Monte Cristo with Jim Caviezel. Have you seen it?” He moved into the kitchen and opened cabinet doors until he found her bowls and then did the same search through the drawers for spoons. He took back the ice cream and scooped some into bowls as he tried to see the TV. “It’s just starting. This is perfect.”

  Before Treya knew what was happening, Jasper handed her a bowl filled to overflowing with scoops of dark frozen goodness. He moved past her and took a seat on the futon, ignoring her laptop and writing material set up on the coffee table in front of him.

  She stared at him, unsure what had just happened.

  He glanced at her, his spoon suspended half way to his mouth. “Are you coming?”

  His obvious comfort in her home made it easier to accept the new situation. They hadn’t needed to work at getting to that point, it just wrapped around them in an instant. Treya nodded, getting water into a Mason jar and setting the bouquet on the counter. She retrieved her tea and reclaimed her ice cream she’d had to set on the counter while attending to the flowers.

  Moving into the living room, she folded her legs under her as she sat beside Jasper. Before the movie started again, she smiled at him until he looked at her. “Thanks. This is perfect actually.”

  He offered a side-smile. “Sure. I needed a redo after our last attempt. Plus, I just wanted to see you again.” His simple declaration left her warm inside.

  She’d already made up her mind to leave Bailey. It wouldn’t be a hardship to follow him back to Anchorage. She’d already researched jobs there. After a minute, she leaned over and shut the laptop, scooting it to the side of the table away from them.

  Jasper shifted on the couch, setting his empty bowl in front of him and then resting his arm on the back behind Treya. She continued eating her ice cream as Val Kilmer came on the screen. It wasn’t an exciting date or even anything she felt obligated to tell her mother about, and yet, Treya couldn’t help feeling like her world was shifting. There were no expectations and no one watching them.

  Maybe the secret dating thing was a good idea after all.

  Chapter 9

  Jasper

  Kissing Treya goodnight at her place around three in the morning had felt more natural, less insistent, and carried more weight.

  Jasper didn’t know how to tell her he was a Bailey. He didn’t know if he needed to at that point. They were dating in secret and he liked the fact that he could be himself around her without having to perform for anyone else.

  Maybe the secret dating idea was the best idea he’d heard in a while.

  He hadn’t asked if he could come again, he’d just shown up Saturday night, too, in much the same way but that time with pizza and cookies. She’d been wearing similar tights to Friday night but instead of a t-shirt she wore a button-up white shirt that hung past her rear end. Her hair had been tied back and she was fresh faced. Surprisingly, she’d been even more attractive without makeup and Jasper found that worrisome.

  He didn’t want to find her more and more appealing. He wanted to purge her from his system, but the more time he spent with her the more she got under his skin. The time he was away from her wasn’t helpful, either, since he thought about her every second and wondered what she was doing, if another man had asked her out, or worse, if she was having second thoughts again about dating him – secret or not.

  She’d mentioned working at the clinic in Taylor Falls and Monday just a bit before lunch, Jasper found himself across the street to the only clinic in the neighboring town. Closing the distance between his new truck he’d parked along the curb and the front door, Jasper ran his hands down the front of his pants. He was nervous. It was one thing to show up at her place in the dead of night where no one would see them, but there, at the clinic, in broad daylight, he ran the risk of blowing their secret.

  He stepped inside, smiling at a receptionist who opened her mouth to say something and then stopped, her eyes growing wide and her lips parting.

  “Um, can I help you?” She batted obviously fake eyelashes at Jasper, leaning her chin onto her bent hand.

  “Yes, please. I’m looking for Treya Smythe. She said she works here.” Jasper leaned on the counter. The place didn’t feel like a sterile clinic and instead gave off the sensation of being welcoming wrapped in comfort. If he was feeling injured or sick, it was exactly the type of environment that would help calm him down.

  Disappointment and surprise warred with each other for a spot on the woman’s face. “Of course, just a moment.” She pushed away from the desk and smoothed out the lines of her black pencil skirt before disappearing into the back.

  Jasper turned, shoving his hands into his pant pockets as he watched the road out the large bay-style window.

  “Um, Jasper? What are you doing here?” Treya pulled his attention from a bird jumping around by the tree trunk.

  He turned, suddenly nervous that he shouldn’t have come, but the surprise on Treya’s face didn’t seem bad. “I wanted to take you to lunch.” He moved closer as Treya came from behind the counter. No one else was in the waiting room and Jasper felt comfortable reaching out and taking her hand. He just wanted to touch her.

  “That is so nice.” She lowered her voice to a whisper. “It’s not secretly dating if we go out to eat in public.” Humor arched her eyebrow.

  Jasper matched the lower tone of her voice. “We’re not in Bailey and we don’t know anyone else over here.” He shrugged as he enjoyed the feel of her fingers in his. “What’s it going to hurt? Plus, I just wanted to see you.”

  Treya moved toward the door. “Okay, let’s go to a café this way. I have an hour.”

  “What about the deli a couple doors down? They might have some good sandwiches.” He reached out and held the door as she walked under his arm. Her soft blue scrubs fit her without being too snug.

  She shook her head as she glanced back at him. “No, trust me. This is better.” She took a left out of the door and smiled back as she waited for him to join her. When he reached her side, she reached out and took his hand in hers.

  The public display of affection didn’t turn him off. In fact, he liked the fact that someone would see them like that and he’d have a little bit more of a claim on her than just the joint secret they shared of late-night movies and snacks.

  Seated in the café and having ordered burgers, Treya leaned forward on her hand. They’d sat opposite each other and Jasper couldn’t help touching her feet with his. “Thanks for coming over here. I was worried you’d leave and I wouldn’t get to say goodbye.” She blinked and lowered her gaze.

  The sudden turn in topic surprised Jasper. “Would you be sad if I left without a goodbye?” He wouldn’t do that. He couldn’t do that. The more he saw her the more he needed to be around her. Not that he was leaving any time soon.

  She lifted somber eyes his way. “I think so. When do you plan on leaving?” She’d asked him the same question a while ago and he’d given a vague answer. Now, though, after it had been over a week, he had to admit, he wasn’t going back, but how?

  He swallowed, suddenly nervous. What if she didn’t feel the same way? “Everything I had planned is starting to change. I’m not sure I want to leave now.” Did she understand that she was a part of his wanting to stay? He wasn’t even sure how it had taken a turn in that direction since he’d only planned on something short term, but the more he was around her, the more he wanted… more.

  Of course, he’d wanted to come home and stay there, but she didn’t know that. And the fact that he wanted to see her more only left him feeling more confused about what it was he wanted. If he stayed in Bailey, dating a Smythe wasn’t an option – secret or not.

  Something changed in her expression and she shook her head. “You don’t want to stay in Bailey. It’s a small town and nothing happens there.” She leaned back in her seat as the server set their plates in front of them.

  Taken aback at her subtle reje
ction of what he said, Jasper reached for the ketchup, pulling his feet under his seat more fully. “You don’t want me to stay?” Could her rejection have been clearer? Jasper felt like an idiot. She wasn’t as interested in him as he was in her. He’d come all that way to have lunch with her and she didn’t feel the same way about him that he was starting to feel about her.

  She shook her head, piercing him with her gaze. “It’s not that at all. I just know what it’s like to live in a small town like Bailey. Everyone knows your business. Everyone judges you. And Bailey is a special case. If you’re not a Smythe or a Bailey, you won’t fit in and even then, you only fit in with half the town.” Sadness made her cast her eyes down toward her plate. “It’s always been my dream to get out of Bailey. There’s nothing for me there. Even here… In Taylor Falls, it’s so small and I’m not going anywhere. You know? I don’t want that for you.”

  “But you’re in Bailey. I could stay in Bailey and be there with you.” What was Jasper saying? Was he offering more than he’d even considered a possibility of giving? He had to readjust his mindset. She was a Smythe. He was a Bailey. If he stayed, he’d have to tell her and then they wouldn’t be able to stay together anyway.

  She helped him forget what was really at stake.

  He nodded before she could say anything else. “You know what? I saw that up in Alaska a lot, too. Small towns were hard to find success in. I get it.” Wasn’t that part of the reason he’d gone to Anchorage and started building his own company? He wanted room to grow and succeed on his own terms. He couldn’t begrudge Treya the dream for an adventure. Going back to his plans of a short-term fling would be the best thing he could do.

  There was nothing wrong with that.

  She nodded, dipping a French fry into a small pile of ketchup on her plate. “If you were here? I’d definitely rethink my dreams, but you’re going back to Alaska, right? Maybe I’ll go up that way.” She smiled, but it seemed to miss its mark.

  Somehow, they’d covered their dreams and dashed each other’s all at the same time.

  Chapter 10

  Treya

  Treya hasn’t been able to think of much else besides their first kiss on their first date. The more she’s around him, the more she wants to kiss him and unfortunately, she wasn’t sure how to ask for another one after she’d thrown such a fit about kissing him in the first place.

  Seeing Jasper secretly over the couple weeks since he’d stopped in town was getting harder and harder. They were limited to Treya’s place or Taylor Falls. Fortunately, the fun they had while spending time together didn’t seem contingent on where they were.

  Since their first date, Jasper hadn’t pressed Treya for another kiss or any more physical contact than holding hands or the stray hand brushing against her cheek. Whether he knew it or not, he was driving her crazy.

  Stepping out of the shower, Treya towel-dried her long hair before rubbing lotion into her legs and arms. Jasper was in her thoughts all the time. He was supposed to be over in a bit and Treya had made a late dinner – steak and asparagus with Caesar salad and an artisan bread she’d looked up on the internet.

  Pulling on her favorite jeans and a loose V-neck shirt, Treya opted to go without makeup. After he left that night, she didn’t want to have to rewash her face.

  The timer on the oven buzzed and she rushed from the small bathroom to the kitchen, pulling the bread from the rack and resting it on the stove to cool. Wiping her hands on a towel for no apparent reason, Treya glanced out the window, nervous for some reason and unable to pinpoint exactly why.

  A knock at the door jolted her from her musings and she took a deep breath. Things were coming to a head with Jasper and she was closer to losing her heart than he probably was, something that didn’t make her feel closer to her dreams.

  Opening the door, she smiled. Jasper reached up and pulled off his cowboy hat, smiling back as he held out a bouquet of flowers of bluebonnets and daisies. He definitely had the romantic boyfriend role down.

  Boyfriend? Was Treya really thinking in terms of commitment? He hadn’t said anything about labels or what they should think of themselves as. Plus, how was he able to afford staying at the Inn. If Treya wasn’t trying to protect her reputation, she’d offer to let him stay with her – he could take the futon-style couch. A man moving in with her would be hard to miss, though, and all attempts at secrecy would be thrown out the window, plus the change to her reputation would be astronomical.

  “You look amazing.” Jasper’s gaze roved her from head to toe and he winked as he stepped inside her apartment. A subtle scent of pine and masculine cologne snuck up on Treya when he passed her and she sniffed appreciatively.

  “You smell amazing.” Treya clamped her mouth shut as she closed the door and rolled her eyes toward the ceiling. She didn’t have to compliment him like that. He’d just gotten to her place and she was going to embarrass herself before he’d even sat down. Clearing her throat, she held out her hand. “Can I take your jacket? I made dinner, I hope you’re hungry.”

  Why was she being so formal? Something had changed for her, but what? She mulled it over as Jasper drew off his jacket and handed it to her, droplets of mist had collected along the shoulders of the jacket.

  The late summer rains had snuck up on Montana, letting the summer warmth lull the residents into thinking it would be a hot day until late afternoon when the clouds would roll in and the winds would blow the heat away. Sometimes it rained and sometimes the clouds hung so low they stuck to you.

  Hanging low must be what the clouds were doing at the moment. Treya wasn’t sure. She’d taken to closing her blinds on the nights or days Jasper was expected at her place so she could ensure no one could see inside. She took the secrecy seriously.

  Moving into the kitchen, Treya smiled as she pulled plates from the cabinet. “Do you like Caesar salad?” She hadn’t even asked him if he had any allergies. Suddenly, Treya’s nerves made themselves apparent in fluttering around in her stomach. What was wrong with her?

  “I love all food. What can I help you with?” Jasper moved into the kitchen beside her, his height diminishing the size of the area. He couldn’t be in the same space without being right next to her. His proximity sent little bursts of electricity through Treya’s nerves.

  She couldn’t look at him in case he knew what he was doing to her insides. There had to be a way to determine if she affected him the way he affected her. But what? Was that something you could ask a person? Not without a red face, that was for sure.

  Dishing up the sirloin steaks, salad, bread, and asparagus, Treya rounded the counter of the kitchen, leaving Jasper beside the stove. The distance between them left her bereft and she turned after setting the plates down on the table.

  They stared at each other in silence and Treya bit her bottom lip. The need to tell him how she felt was growing too big to contain. She swallowed.

  Jasper slowly moved around the counter jutting between the kitchen and the dining area, holding her gaze with his. “Treya? Is everything alright?” He stopped just short of the table, his back inches from the edge of the counter.

  “I… You’re irritating me.” She clenched her hands at her sides and studied him.

  Shocked, Jasper pulled back, blinking. He glanced behind him and then back at her. “I’m irritating you? How? I’m not trying to.” Confusion furrowed his brow and Treya shook her head.

  “No, it’s not what you’re doing. It’s the fact that you’re too dang attractive. You’re easy to talk to and be around. You don’t press me for anything and now… I’m not even sure what it is you want.” She stepped closer to him, diminishing the distance with a confidence she wasn’t sure she felt so much as displayed it. She lowered her voice. “Stop irritating me.”

  He didn’t take his eyes off her. “That’s a good thing, right? You find me appealing.” He didn’t tease her about it, and instead seemed to treat her concern with seriousness. “Do you really want me to stop?”

 
Did she? Closing her eyes for a brief moment, she had to accept the fact that no… she did not want him to stop. She shook her head and sighed. “No. I don’t want you to stop irritating me. I’m just worried about what will happen if you don’t.”

  Because she was concerned. What if he didn’t want to go back to Alaska or anywhere else? She reached out, before she could stop herself, and trailed her fingers softly along the buttons of his shirt. She followed the path of her touch with her gaze and then raised her eyes to study his face she already had memorized. “When do you think you’ll go back to Alaska?” She had to know. What if she was falling for him but he didn’t feel the same way?

  He shook his head, staying where he stood as if he were hypnotized by her actions. “I’m not sure yet. I feel like I have too much to do here to just pick up and leave.”

  “Are you staying because of me, Jasper? I don’t want you to feel like you’re stuck here.” Treya stopped playing with his shirt and rested her hand just above where his heart would be. She flattened her palm, soaking in the warmth of his skin through the material of his shirt.

  They searched each other’s eyes for a moment and then Jasper spoke, a huskiness to his voice that hadn’t been there a moment before. “I’m not stuck anywhere, Treya. Do you want me to stay?”

  That was the question, wasn’t it? Did she want him to stay? Or did she want him to take her with him?

  She couldn’t ask him to stay and she didn’t have enough of a commitment from him to ask him to take her away. She was in a situation where, if she didn’t do something soon, they’d both go their own ways and never actually get what it was they wanted. At least, she wanted.

  Holding her hand steady on his chest, she stepped forward, pushing into his space. His eyes grew heavy-lidded, like he knew what she was going to do, but wasn’t 100%-sure. He couldn’t be sure because Treya wasn’t even sure.

  Yet, she couldn’t stop herself, even if she wanted to. Slowly, she closed the distance between them, standing on tip-toe as she slid her hand from his chest to behind his neck. She wasn’t as tall as him and she pulled on the strong muscle between his neck and shoulder to get him toward her.