Enough

by Pacheco, Briana

  Mrs. Diaz has short, wavy brown hair and amber colored eyes.

  “Thanks. Did my mom say if she wants to take the job?” I asked. Mom was still not sure on it when she told me so I don’t really know what’s going to happen. She said the new job will pay better. Isn’t she doing fine already though? Maybe we won’t move.

  “I don’t know anything yet. She’ll get back to me in a few minutes. She’s just thinking about things.” A few minutes?! What? Mom is planning this out now? What about work? She should be thinking about this when I’m home. I am involved this… “I’ll tell you if anything happens.” I gave her a weary smile. Mom should be telling me. “Take a seat now.” She said more roughly. Emphasizing that she doesn’t bend the rules.

  I smiled and turned to see were Tiffany was. I spotted her all the way in the back. She mouthed sorry and pointed two seats in front of her. Of course the only seat available is in front of Alex. Looking like I do, I was hoping I wouldn’t have to see him.

  I walked up to the seat.

  “Hi.” I said.

  He looked up at me and smiled.

  I melted. I want to throw myself into those arms. He looks like he knows how to treat a woman. He looks like he knows how to do lot of things to women. Fuck me…

  “Rough day?” He asked with that damn sexy voice of his.

  Damn! I nodded and took a seat. That was embarrassing.

  I got out my Spanish notebook and texted Tiffany.

  Me: Hey, WTF! u were supposed to save me a seat. I look like shit. Of all days I have to sit in front of him. He asked if I had a rough day!! :(

  Almost immediately she replied.

  Tiffany: Don’t get feisty. I tried but you were late and everyone came in. Didn’t have a choice but to move my bag from an empty seat that your ass was suppose to be in. Be quiet and be happy ur next 2 him. :P

  Ugh. I guess I can take her advice.

  Me: Oh, have bad news to tell you. Mom said

  “Emily, can you come over here please.” Mrs. Diaz said.

  I sent the message even though it wasn’t finished. I turned to look at Tiffany and she tilted her head to the side. “What?” she mouthed. I held up my hand for her to wait a little longer. Right now I need to find out more about the move. I walked up to Mrs. Diaz’s desk and waited.

  “Your mom texted. She has less than two weeks to say yes and move or no and stay. She really wants to go. A fresh start, she mentioned. She talked to your brother and sister and they are willing to go. If she goes and you want to stay, I mentioned you could live with me and Jose until you graduate. She said that’s fine. It’s up to you. She’ll talk about it when you’re home. Also you will have detention for coming in late but it won’t be long. Just a few things and you can go.” She said.

  Wow, make it sound good why don’t you.

  “So she really wants to move? I turn eighteen in two weeks… I would say I can move into my own little place because I would be considered an adult but I can’t possibly find a job to support myself in two weeks.” I said. I felt the tears starting to prick the backs of my eyelids. My family is more than likely going to Seattle and going to leave me behind. To live with a teacher. Mrs. Diaz is more than a teacher, she’s a friend but that’s still creepy. I wouldn’t be going to parties and probably no more alcohol. I need the alcohol. I need the numbness. No one understands.

  Why is my life crashing down faster than a meteor hitting earth?

  “Like I said, you could stay with me. I don’t think she’ll let you stay anywhere else.” Mrs. Diaz said. The tears started flowing out.

  “Yeah but I thought my family would be there for every birthday, for prom and especially for graduation.” I said wiping my eyes. She can see I’m having a rough day but this… this is just fucking crushing.

  “You can go to the bathroom if you want. Take your time.”

  “I just have to talk to Tiffany. Is that all right?” I asked.

  “Yeah but keep it down, I have a class to teach.” She reached for my hand and squeezed it. Then she handed me a tissue.

  “Thanks.” I walked down the aisle to where Tiffany was seated and ignored all the eyes watching me. “Come with me, she said we can talk.” I said.

  Tiffany got up. “Is something wrong? Did something happen to your family? Em, I don’t like to see you cry.” She said.

  “They’re fine. Just come outside.” We went to the hallway and I leaned against a locker. Tiffany just stood there, waiting for an explanation. ”My mom got a job offer. She says it’s great and all but there’s one problem.” I sobbed. “We have to move if she says yes.”

  “That’s not bad. Where? Revere, Cambridge, Everett?”

  “Not exactly, think west. West of Massachusetts. Let’s say right on the border of the Pacific Ocean.” I said.

  “WHAT!” She yelled. A few passing students looked at us but minded their own business and continued walking. “What!” She said softer. “You can’t leave. You’ll miss prom, graduation, Alex, everyone….me. You’re my best friend. You can’t leave.”

  Hearing her say that made me cry harder.

  “Mrs. Diaz offered that I stay with her. That’s creepy but I guess if I have to then I will. But I can’t be that far away from my family. I can’t leave you behind. I have to graduate here with you and Bryan and everyone I knew since I was a kid.” I said wiping my eyes. I wanted to make this place my home. I wanted to add good memories to erase the bad. I wanted to be something other than that girl. I have a complicated past. I wanted to start un-complicating things.

  “Let me see if you can stay with me. I’ll talk to my parents after school.” Tiffany said. It was just like her to say something like that.

  “Your family hates me. They think I’m a bad influence on you. Especially your mom. She would never allow it.” I said.

  I told myself to stop crying and it worked.

  Tiffany took hold of my shoulders and stared at me. “We will think of something. Also your birthday is two weeks away. They can not miss that.”

  I smiled. It was not that convincing but she smiled back. “You’re right. We will try something. Oh, don’t tell anyone. I didn’t tell Bryan yet. It’s our little secret. Okay?”

  I know her parents won’t allow me to stay at her place.

  I am bound to stay with Mrs. Diaz or move to Washington.

  “Okay. Are we going to Sophie’s party?” She asked. I know she’s changing the subject so I don’t have to think about this.

  I nodded then we went back into class.

  ***

  The rest of the day went by in a blur. I went to Mrs. Diaz’s room for my detention and she made me clean the desks. Bryan stopped by and offered to help but Mrs. Diaz was clear that I was the one to do it. “No, Mr. Vincent. Emily came in late. She will finish it by herself with no help.” She said.

  “All right. I get it.” He said and waited by the door for me. I finished the last desk and put the cleaning supplies back in the closet. “Ready now?”

  “Yeah, let’s go.” I said.

  Outside was a bit chilly but I didn’t mind. Winter doesn’t start until two weeks from now but there were a few frosts on the grass. In Boston, the weather’s weird. If it doesn’t snow, it rains but then it’ll freeze. I don’t get it.

  Tiffany went home with a new guy that she has her eyes set on. I am not going to cockblock that so I didn’t beg her to stay with me.

  It’s only 3:00 pm but it looks like 7:00. It’s so dark out, the clouds covered the sun and it feels like something bad is bound to happen. I hate when it’s like this.

  “You want a ride home? It’s too cold for you to walk around like that.” Bryan said pulling off his sweater and handing it to me.

  “No. I’m fine, and yes I would like a ride but only if you put your sweater back on or I’m walking home.” He glanced at me and saw I wasn’t in the best mood. He put it back on and walked over to his car. He opened the door for me and I got in. Bryan started the ignition and d
rove out of the school driveway. It sucks that I don’t have a car. Mom always thought it was pointless. If I need the car, I use hers. It’s her way of making sure I’m safe.

  “Is everything all right? You seem bummed out.” Bryan asked.

  “I’m fine.” I’m so not fucking fine. I looked out the window and saw a group of students with big puffy jackets talking and playing with each other. I wondered if I would have time like that with my friends.

  I thought about the time I was a cheerleader. That was just a few months ago. We use to hang out like this and not care about anything in the world. During winter, we’d all huddle on the football field and dance to stay warm. We’d grab snacks and just have fun. It was the best three years of my life to have fun and forget about everything.

  It was a quick drive to my house. Walking took twenty minutes but in a car, it was probably less than five.

  “Do you want me to pick you up for Sophie’s?” Bryan asked.

  “I’m gonna walk. You don’t have to come get me.” I said.

  “Yeah, right, Em. Seriously, what time?” He thought I was joking. He cracked a smile and a dimple made its way out. I have to get out of this car. I would do something that could jeopardize our friendship if I don’t.

  “Bryan, I am going to walk. Her house is like three blocks away from mine.” It was more than that but I didn’t correct myself. I want to be alone and think of what might happen. My mom might not take the job. I’m hoping she doesn’t. I glanced at him and he stared at me, like really stared at me. I felt like he was trying to decipher why I was being cold toward him. Unless he was a mind reader, he wouldn’t find out. I kissed him on the cheek and got out. “Thank you, Bryan. I’ll see you at the party.”

  “Emily. Are you sure you’re all right?” He sounded concerned but the sooner he left, the faster I would find out if my family’s moving or not.

  “Yeah, now go. Get ready. The party starts at eight.”

  I turned around before he could ask me anything else.

  I walked up the front steps and went inside.

  2. The Party

  I went looking for my mom but couldn’t find her anywhere. I gave up and went to my room. I decided to take a shower to get all these dried tears and rain from earlier off me. It took me a while to realize how long I was taking when I heard a knock on my bathroom door.

  “Em, are you okay? You’ve been in there for a while.” Mom said.

  I turned off the shower and wrapped myself in a towel. “Yeah, I’m fine. Let me get dressed and we can talk.” I said.

  “Okay.” I heard her leave and close the bedroom door. I stepped out onto my nice fluffy rug and wondered how many times I’ll get to rub my toes on it again. Hopefully for years to come. I put on my robe and looked through my closet. I took out skinny jeans and a cute pink tank top. I don’t care if it’s still cold outside. I picked out cute heels that matched the color of my tank. Now for the hair…maybe a high ponytail. It would look good.

  I got my iPhone out of my bag and slipped it in my back pocket. It was 7:20 pm when I checked to see if I got any texts. Damn! Everyone was going to this party. The texts were coming in like there was no tomorrow. I checked myself in the mirror and made sure my tattoo’s hiding. Good, I don’t want anyone to see it. I didn’t get it for other to see.

  I went downstairs and found my mom drinking coffee in the kitchen. I sat on the other side of her and waited for the verdict.

  “You look nice. Where are you going?” She asked.

  “Sophie’s. There’s a little get together for all the seniors.” I lied. It’s not a get together. It’s a party where alcohol will be served and people will be sucking face with random people. It’s my kind of party.

  “Sophie.” Mom said smiling. “How is she?” Me and Sophie were best friends since kindergarten too. Tiffany, Sophie and I were inseparable. She came from a family with money but she never liked to flaunt it. She was different than your average rich friend.

  I loved her until we had the fall out.

  She had her eyes set on a guy when we started high school. She never mentioned who, ‘bad luck’, she would say. When Zach asked me out she flipped out and said I stole her man and yada yada yada. I didn’t know Zach was the guy she was pining over. We never talked again. I made an effort but she never responded kindly. Zach and I dated for three years and close to the end of junior year, we went to the party where I got drunk and we fought, that’s how everything ended.

  I think Sophie’s dating him now. Yeah, she finally got her wish.

  “I don’t know. We haven’t really been the best of friends anymore. So did you decide on anything yet?” I asked changing the subject.

  Mom walked over to me and rested her elbows on the table.

  “I have. The job sounds great and I can’t let something like that get away.” She said. Kill me now. “We will be moving to Seattle. Rachel said you can stay with her until graduation.”

  My world just exploded.

  It’s not weird hearing Mom call Mrs. Diaz, Rachel. That is her name but it sounds as if I was being sent away for good. “Are you serious? Why? Is it because of the drinking? Mom I told you I can stop and I will. You don’t have to move. I promise.” I pleaded.

  She stood up and started pacing around me. By the look on her face, she’s not changing her mind. She’s set on leaving and nothing will change that. “Honey, it’s not about your drinking. I wish you would stop, but it’s bigger than that.” Her eyes found mine and they watered. Shit, it’s bad. “Honey… we lost everything. We don’t have anymore money. The bank has the house now. We can’t live here anymore. We need a fresh start and that’s in Seattle.” What?! What the fuck did she just say?!

  I can’t believe what she’s telling me. The bank doesn’t just up and take a house. It takes time. Mom has been struggling and I didn’t fucking notice. God, I’m the worst.

  I got up and walked past the living room to the front door. We’re broke. We have nothing. I guess its set. My life is officially over.

  Before I could open the door, my mom grabbed my arm.

  “Emily, don’t do anything reckless. Please. I am letting you go to the party because I don’t want you here when I start packing and making calls but please don’t come home drunk. I hate to see you like that.” She dropped my arm to my side and let me go. She’s letting me go because she doesn’t want me to see her cry. I know that’s why. I’m a shitty daughter because it’s not even in my mind to stay here and comfort her.

  The wind had a chill to it as I stepped outside, I didn’t mind. I walked down the front steps and turned left. This party is just what I need.

  As I was walking, I saw my neighbor, Ben, from four houses down. Ben’s new to Wilks Academy this year too. He’s a junior, and since we’re neighbors, we became friends. He was talking to someone. I couldn’t see at first but as I got closer, I recognized the ginger/nutmeg color hair. He was wearing a blue Aeropostale shirt and jeans that were perfect for his body. And that ass… Oh, God. My lady parts are enjoying the view. What is he doing on my street and talking to Ben? I didn’t know they knew each other. Must be because they’re new at school.

  “Damn, Em. You like nice. Off to Sophie’s?” Ben asked. I saw Alex tense up a bit. He’s right there…just a few feet away from me. I feel like I am in heaven. This is a dream come true.

  “Thank you. Yeah, you?” I asked. I’m hoping Alex would turn around and talk to me. Come on. Just turn around. I kind of dressed up hoping he’d be at the party. After today, I think he should see me dress nice. Yes, I want to show off a bit.

  “Juniors aren’t allowed.” Ben said shaking his head.

  “Crash it. They wouldn’t notice. You going, Alex?” I asked.

  He turned around as if I just arrived and hadn’t been talking to Ben.

  “Yeah, I was thinking about it.” He said then turned back to Ben after his eyes took me in. Man, that look did things to me.

  I took the turn around as a signa
l that they were not to be interrupted so I continued walking. “See you there then. Bye Ben.” I said.

  Alex and Ben were whispering about something I couldn’t make out. A few seconds later, Alex called out my name. Yes, my heart stopped for a second when my name rolled off his tongue. I liked the way it sounded.

  “Do you mind if I walk with you?” He asked. Hell no! I slowed down and turned to see him walking toward me. A smile lit up my face. Like I would deny myself the pleasure of him with me.

  “No, not at all.” I said. Ben waved at us and walked back inside his house. “I didn’t know you knew Ben.”

  “Yeah, I knew his sister. She was close with my family.” He said glancing up at me. I almost melted, it was dark outside but those hazel eyes seemed to glow. Then I replayed what he just said. He knew his sister.

  “I thought Ben was an only child.” I said. “Is his sister at college or something?” He slumped his shoulders a bit and opened his mouth as to say something but closed it just as fast.

  “Or something.” He said softly. “She died last year.”

  “Oh, I–I didn’t know that.” Ben never said anything to me.

  “Yeah…she and my sister went to college together.” He said. Oh… Alex has a sister. She must be fucking sexy too. Alex chewed on his bottom lip for a bit as we walked. I think he wants to say something. Should I tell him to go on? Is it any of my business? “One night they were going to surprise us during break and they never made it.” He said.

  “What about your sister? What happened?” I asked.

  He said they never made it.

  He was quiet for a while then looked up at me.

  “They were hit by a drunk driver and the car was totaled. We found out a few days later,” he said. “Ben’s family moved to Boston and his family told mine that the city’s great. We joined in as well, so here I am.” He said staring at the ground.

  “I’m sorry. That’s horrible…” I don’t know what else to say.