Enough

by Pacheco, Briana

  “What about the other kids that were with you?”

  “They’re fine…probably freaked but they’re okay.” I said.

  “You didn’t watch the news?” He asked. I shook my head. TV and I aren’t friends at the moment. “What the reporters said…it didn’t seem real. How could something like that happen? And to you? I thought I lost my favorite neighbor.” Ben said.

  “Aww…you care about me?”

  “Of course I do.” He said pulling me into a tiny hug. “I’m not really sure where to touch you…”

  “That sounds so perverted.” I joked. We broke out laughing.

  “I wish…” He joked back, or at least I hope he’s joking. “Heads up…everyone’s making a card for you and sending flowers, chocolates and all that get well soon crap.”

  “Why?” I asked.

  “Um, hello! Are you on a different planet? You’re on the news…you got hurt. People care about you. They want you to know it.” Ben said cocking an eyebrow at me.

  “What exactly is on the news about me?” I asked.

  “A group of students from Wilks were kidnapped and you were lured there. Shit went down and all of you got out without scratches except you. You went to the hospital. That’s where the source dropped your name. Everyone else is still anonymous.” Ben said.

  “Seriously?” He nodded. Why is this happening to me? “At least nobody else got hurt.” I said.

  “I know. And you look okay…so thank god for that.” We walked a few more minutes talking about the dogs. Then we were back to Alex.

  “What do you know about Nina?” I asked.

  He shook his head at me. “I’m not getting involved in that topic.” Ugh! We were next to Sophie’s house when Ben and I turned back the way we walked. “I heard what happened at school the other day.” I gave him a quizzical look. “With Zach.”

  “Yeah, that. That was a mistake. Does everyone know about that?”

  “No. I don’t think the freshmen do.” He joked. The dogs stopped at a tree and did their business. I went back to Nina. I just want to know a little bit more about her.

  “Was Nina really that bad?” I asked. He gave me a look. Looks like I won’t get any answers. “Fine. If you see Alex, don’t tell him I asked.” He raised an eyebrow. “That’s our code.” I said.

  “Fine.” He said stopping at my stairs.

  “Thanks for walking with me.” I said.

  “Anytime. Tell Alex, I say hi.”

  “How do you know he’s here?” He pointed to the street. The Camaro and the Audi are parked there. “Right. Bye, Ben.”

  “Bye, Em.” He waited until I was in the house when he walked back home. I took the leash off Gizmo and let him run around. Mom met him the kitchen and did some baby talking.

  Alex was still sleeping when I walked back into my room. I silently walked to a window and opened a crack. I thought I saw a figure standing outside again but when I blinked there was nothing. I’m just paranoid. There’s no one there. There’s no one there. Giovanni really fucked me up.

  I felt a hand on my arm and I jumped. Alex was staring at me with a raised eyebrow. “What do you keep looking at out there?” He asked.

  “It’s nothing.” I said putting my arms around him. “What are you doing up? You were passed out a few seconds ago.” Alex jerked his head to my bed where I saw Gizmo.

  “Your dog literally kicked me out.” He said.

  “Don’t take it personally.” I said. “What’s your favorite color?” I asked out of nowhere. When Ben and I talked, he mentioned Alex likes green and red. I want to know which.

  “Green but I think it’s changing to blue.” He said bringing his lips to mine. The way he nibbled my bottom lip…

  I feel weightless.

  “Blue is my obsession.” I said.

  “Where’d this come from?” He asked.

  I licked my lips and hoped for more.

  “Ben. We were talking and it came up.” I said almost touching his lips with mine. “Oh and he says hi.”

  “When did you see him?” Alex asked.

  “Just now. I walked Gizmo and he was out there.”

  “You went out by yourself?” Alex pulled back. I don’t know if he’s surprised or happy. Or frustrated.

  “Alex, he’s not out there anymore. There’s nothing to worry about.” I said pulling him back to me.

  “I know, it’s just…” He glanced at my shoulder. “You need to change the bandages?” He’s changing subjects. Sometimes he can be frustrating but I don’t know if he knows he looks so fuckable when during that time.

  “I was going to do it but I’d rather have you do it.” I said.

  Alex grabbed the bag with the bandages and creams. I took off my shirt and laid on the bed. He took care of my shoulder first. When he did my side, I swear he intentionally tried tickling me every chance he got. He grabbed a cotton swab and put cream on my cuts. My thigh didn’t hurt that much. Alex looked at neck and traced a finger along the edge. “It’s getting better. I don’t think it’ll leave a scar.” He said.

  “Hopefully not. I don’t want to look like Frankenstein.” I said.

  “You do not look like Frankenstein.” Alex said.

  “I have cuts all over my body that say otherwise.”

  “Em…you are still the most beautiful woman I’ve seen in my life. Scars won’t change that.” Alex said. I looked away and stayed quiet.

  We fell back into bed for a few more minutes, just staring at the ceiling. “Do you want to go to the carnival?” Alex asked.

  “They’re here?” I asked.

  “Yeah, I saw a few signs.” He said reaching for my hand.

  I love the carnival. I love the stuffed animals even more.

  “Yes! When do you want to go?” I asked.

  “Whenever you want.” He said.

  I thought about everything to do today. I walked Gizmo, which I will have to do again, the carnival, should my friends spend the night here so we go to the track earlier? What will we do if they come here? We can do anything. Sounds like a plan.

  Alex was in the shower when I thought about all of this. I also got rid of the photos. I cut them into teeny tiny pieces and threw them into the trash.

  When Alex came out, he wasn’t wearing a shirt and I couldn’t help but stare. His body is perfect. And delicious. He dug in his duffel and pulled out a white t-shirt.

  “What do you want to do?” I asked. I raised my legs and tried my best to look sexy. I even bit my bottom lip as Alex climbed into bed.

  “You know what that does to me.” He said staring at my lips.

  “Not really. You never show me.”

  So he did. Only a PG version. My family’s home so we can’t do anything like last time…for now.

  It was almost noon when I decided to go to the carnival. Alex drove there and the place was packed. I didn’t think anyone would be there. Everyone usually comes at night. We got tickets and spent hours playing games. I won a giant panda when I won the water gun race. Alex couldn’t believe it. The last stop was the Ferris wheel.

  “This was one of the best days that has happened this winter break.” I said. Alex sat next to me and the panda sat across from us, supervising.

  “I have to agree.” He put an arm around me and kissed me. I never thought I’d be one of those romantic couples kissing on the Ferris wheel but here I am.

  When the ride was over, Alex walked over to a fried dough station. When he handed it over I couldn’t help but smile. This is what we ate on our first date in Berkley.

  I saw a few kids from school at the carnival. They kept staring at us and it was starting to get creepy so we left. Aside from that, I had a really fucking amazing day.

  Alex’s phone rang when we walked into the house. I saw a large man standing in the living room and I froze.

  “I have to take this. I’ll be right back.” Alex said.

  “Go ahead.” I said. He went back out the door as I walked into the room. It’s M
r. Diaz. Jose. Rachel’s husband.

  “Emily.” Jose said pulling me into a tight hug. When he pulled away, he held my shoulders. His thumb on the wound. He noticed and let go of me then he wiped his brown eyes and ran a hand through his dark hair.

  I panicked. “Is everything okay? Is Rachel–”

  “Rachel’s fine.” He said. “Thanks to you. She told me what you did. I just wanted to say thank you. From both of us. She can go home tomorrow.”

  “I didn’t do anything except get her into that place. It’s my fault she–”

  “You saved her life.” Jose said. “She wanted me to check on you and she wanted me to tell you it’s not your fault.” He pulled me back into another hug. A gentler one this time. “All right, it’s not your fault.”

  I nodded and we ended up talking a little bit more.

  He left when Alex came back in.

  “Do you have the panda?” He asked looking around.

  “No…it’s probably in the car.” I said.

  “I’ll get it.” I waited by the door. I thought about what Jose said. Rachel said it wasn’t my fault but I still feel like it was. Giovanni even told me I should have moved. Obviously they held her hostage so I would go to Seattle. I am the reason she was treated the way she was.

  I was lost in thought when Alex placed the panda in my face. I looked up and almost jumped back.

  “What’s wrong?” He asked noticing something is off.

  “Nothing.” I took the panda and walked up the stairs.

  Gizmo was lying on my bed when we walked in. He lifted his head up, saw it was us then laid back down. I tried sitting on my bed but Gizmo barked. “Is he serious?” I tried sitting down again but he barked louder and growled. Wow! My dog is a douche.

  I took off the comforter and placed it on the floor. I stole the pillows and threw them down hard. Gizmo kicked me off my bed. What the hell! I left the door open a crack so Gizmo can leave when he pleases. Hopefully it’s soon.

  I brought my purse and panda over and sat cross legged on the floor. Alex didn’t want to tempt Gizmo so he sat next to me.

  I took out my phone and did my daily routine.

  Sophie: Do you want us to come over??

  If they wanted to they can.

  Me: Yeah, I want to talk about something. Just let me know when you’re here.

  I eyed the panda. Why can’t life be like yours? I thought. Sit there and look pretty. Easy.

  “Emily?” Alex asked. He tilted my chin up to look at him. “That was Mr. Diaz, right?” I nodded. “Is everything fine?”

  “Yeah, he just came by to say she’s fine and that it’s not my fault she was hurt.” A tear slid down my cheek. I played with the panda and stared into its fake eyes. “Alex, it is my fault.” I said. “No one talks about it but I want to. If I just moved none of this would have happened. No one would have gotten hurt.”

  He wiped away the tears with his thumb. “Emily, if you left, he probably would have hurt someone else.” He looked at the panda then back at me. “If you left, we wouldn’t have this.” He said. And that’s what kills me too. If I moved, everyone would be okay but I wouldn’t have this with Alex. “Do you want to talk about it?”

  “They’re coming over. I want to talk about it with them.” I said looking up at him. “We do have some time alone though.” I leaned into him and he slowly went back.

  I have issues. One minute I’m crying and the next I’m attacking my boyfriend. When his back was against the floor, I pressed my body against him. I took my shirt off and threw it on the bed. We can’t do anything because the door’s open and I’m not going to close it. I’m lazy.

  Alex’s hands went to my hips.

  Gizmo jumped down from the bed and barked at us. I shooed him away with my hand. He jumped back on the bed and yelped.

  Alex slid his hands up my back and pressed me closer to him. I love when he kisses me. I love when he touches me. I have to say his lips were made for mine. They fit perfectly together. His breath was hot against my skin. His hands, warm everywhere he touched. I was getting lost in him.

  “We’re here!” Someone yelled. I looked up in shock. The door was wide open and everyone was standing at the doorway. “Oh, sorry.” Tiffany said. She grabbed the door and shut it.

  Alex helped me up when I tried to stand. “What are guys doing here so early?” I asked when Tiffany opened the door again.

  “We had nothing to do.” Sophie said. It’s weird that they pop up like this but I missed it. I missed them. Gizmo greeted Tiffany and Sophie with a few licks and jumps. When the guys walked in, he started going crazy.

  “Gizmo!” I snapped. He turned around and walked toward me. I picked him up and held him against my chest. “What did I say? I won’t keep you if you’re mean.” He gave a sad growl then licked me. I put him back on the floor and he went back to the guys. He sniffed them and finally gave them a lick.

  “He’s so cute!” Sophie said as her eyes followed Gizmo around the room. I walked over to my bed and grabbed my shirt.

  “How did you guys get in?” I asked.

  “Declan was about to leave so he let us in and your door was open.” Tiffany said. I saw everyone had a duffel bag slung over their shoulders.

  “What is it you want to talk about?” Bryan asked taking a seat on my bed.

  “If you want, we can go to my place.” Alex said. He knows I need to talk about this. He’s trying to help me. I really did get lucky with him. Damn, I am so grateful that I met him.

  “I would, actually. Do you guys mind?” I said. I want privacy to talk about this and his place is perfect. I don’t want my family to hear the details about what we’re going to talk about.

  “Let’s go then.” Zach said.

  Right when he said that, a huge brown teddy bear appeared at my door. The person holding it is hiding but obviously it’s Declan.

  “Declan, what are you doing?” I asked. Everyone stared at him. He didn’t talk though. The bear’s arm waved me over. “Seriously?” The bear’s head nodded. The arm was waving me over again. When I didn’t move, the bears head sank down into its fluffy chest. “Fine.” I said giving up. I walked over and stood in front of the bear. I grabbed it and stared at it. It’s really soft. Cute. Then I looked up. Ohmygod! I turned around quickly and stared at the floor. “What are you doing here?!” I snapped. One of Declan’s friends is standing there. Jeremy. The guy Dec lent the car to. Not only is he Declan’s friend but we have history. When I was younger…I had a huge crush on him and it was mutual. And it went a little further then that this summer. Shit. He’s here.

  Declan’s friends look like him. Green eyes, brown hair and buff. I called them the ‘Quintuplets’ because there are five of them. Declan, Jeremy, Chris, Will, and Robert. Tommy is the only one that doesn’t look like them and he’s gay.

  “What? I can’t come by and say hi?” Jeremy asked.

  “Jeremy…I told Declan I didn’t want to see anyone.” I said.

  “There’s a room full of people here.” He’s right. Fuck! I exhaled loudly and made the bear cover me up. I turned around.

  “I’m sorry…but I just don’t…what are you even doing here?” I asked.

  “We heard what happened. I just wanted to see if you’re okay.” He looked around the room and said hi. “The bear has a surprise inside.” I pulled it away and found the hidden pouch in its stomach. A huge jar of Nutella is inside. “To keep you happy. I see everyone’s bringing chocolate and flowers…Nutella beats all that.” Jeremy said.

  “Thank you.” I tried to hug him but the bear got in the way.

  “Who got you the panda?!” He asked frowning.

  “I won it.” I said.

  “I was about to say…” He said holding my eyes. “So, I should go. Declan’s waiting for me.”

  “Are the other guys with him?” I asked. Jeremy nodded. “Tell them I still don’t want to see anyone. Unless they bring me Lindt white chocolate or Hersey’s Cookies ‘n’ Creme. I mi
ght make an exception.” I said.

  “Got it. You’re using us?” Jeremy asked. I nodded. “You must get that from your dad’s side. Declan’s a saint.” He said.

  I stared at him and furrowed my brows.

  “What?” I asked. He doesn’t…right…

  “Um…” He scratched the back of his head. “It was a joke…I should go.” Ohmygod. He doesn’t?!

  “Wait…” I stared at the bear. “You knew?” Jeremy looked around the room then met my eyes and nodded. “How long?” I asked.

  “A few years.” He said. That’s it. I dropped the Nutella back inside the bear and handed it back to him.

  “Take your stupid fucking bear back.” I said.

  His expression changed. “What? Em…I didn’t mea–”

  “Jeremy, get the hell out of my room.” He stood there staring at me. “You knew and you never said anything.” I snapped.

  “It wasn’t my place to. Declan–”

  “Save it.” I threw the bear at him and grabbed the door. “Some friend you are.” Then I slammed it shut.

  I grabbed my purse and threw clothes inside Alex’s duffel bag. Everyone is looking at me and I don’t care. He knew and he never said anything. “I’ll talk to him.” Tiffany said leaving the room.

  I grabbed my phone and looked up.

  “Let’s go.” I said opening the door. I found the bear leaning against the banister and I ignored it. Fuck you, Bear.

  Everyone walked with me in silence.

  Declan and his friends were staring at Jeremy and Tiffany talking as we walked out. I went straight to Alex’s car and everyone else went to Liam’s. “Emily!” I looked back at Declan. How could he?!

  I sat down in the seat and stared ahead of me. Jeremy tried to make his way to me but Alex stopped him. They said something then Jeremy nodded. I can’t believe this. He knew. For years! He lied to my face all this time. He could have told me and speared me the trouble of almost hooking up with my brother!

  Alex came into the car and Tiffany walked over to Liam’s.

  “Please, just drive.” I said when I felt Alex staring at me.

  I texted Mom asking if she can watch Gizmo, he’s lazy and stays in bed all day. It won’t be a problem.

  We got to Alex’s place a few minutes later. Liam parked in front of his house and walked down toward us when we parked in the driveway. Thankfully no one said anything about Jeremy. Tiffany probably told them not to.