The Island of Dr. Libris

by Chris Grabenstein

  Farkas arched an eyebrow. “What prize?”

  “Something absolutely amazing!”

  “What do I have to do to win it?”

  “Defeat the Space Lizard.”

  “What?”

  “It’s part of the library camp. Out on the island.”

  “No way. That camp’s for nerds.”

  “That’s what all the cool kids kept saying, so the library decided to run these late-night holographic video games to coolify their camp.”

  “You’re making this up.”

  “Nope,” said Billy. “Right now, out on that island, the Space Lizard is running around blasting acid at everybody.”

  “It’s fake acid, though, right?”

  “I don’t know,” said Walter. “I saw it sizzle through a library book.”

  “Seriously?” Farkas was getting excited.

  “And wait till you see the Space Lizard,” said Billy.

  “Who is it? Some geek in an aluminum foil astronaut costume with a Super Soaker squirt gun?”

  “No. It’s the real deal. An interactive 3-D video-laser projection. Like the computer-generated monsters they make for movies.”

  Farkas squinted at the island. “And they’re doing all this out there right now? At eleven-thirty at night?”

  “Well, yeah,” said Billy. “It’s kind of a campout, too.”

  “So let’s go,” said Farkas, opening the screen door and stepping out.

  “You do know how to defeat the Space Lizard, right?”

  “Well, duh. I mean, if they’ve set up their 3-D version like the video game.”

  “Oh, it’s exactly like the video game,” said Billy. Under his breath he added, “Or the comic book.”

  “Good. I memorized all the cheat codes.” Farkas jabbed a thumb over his shoulder. “Should I grab my controller?”

  “Nope. You play the game through an app you have to download at the library.”

  “Oh, man,” muttered Farkas.

  “Don’t worry.” Billy tapped his backpack. “I’ve got it on my iPhone. You tell me what moves to make, and I’ll key ’em in.”

  “Fine. But when I win, we are not sharing the prize.”

  “Of course not,” said Billy.

  “Obviously,” added Walter. “The prize is all yours.”

  “So what are we waiting for?” said Farkas. “We need to be out on that island!”

  “You want to take my rowboat?” offered Billy.

  “I have a canoe,” said Walter.

  “No way. We’ll take my Jet Ski. It’s faster.”

  “Here’s the key,” Billy said to Walter as he raised the flap so they could all step under the dome. “I’ll meet you guys at the gate.”

  “Hurry,” said Farkas. “I’m ready to kick some serious Space Lizard butt.”

  “Uh, right this way,” said Walter, escorting Farkas up the dark trail. “Watch out for that—”

  “Ouch.”

  “Rock.”

  When Walter and Farkas were gone, Billy unzipped his backpack. Inside was the junk he carried around every day plus the blueberry pie from the Red Barn and the copy of H. G. Wells’s The Time Machine that he’d grabbed out of Dr. Libris’s bookcase. He hadn’t wanted to read the book in front of Farkas, so he read it now.

  “It took two years to make,” retorted the Time Traveller. “Now I want you clearly to understand that this lever, being pressed over, sends the machine gliding into the future, and this other reverses the motion. Presently, I am going to press the lever, and off the machine will go. It will vanish …”

  Billy hoped that paragraph would do the trick.

  He stuffed the book back into his pack.

  Everything set, he hurried up the trail. Walter and Farkas were standing in the center of the first empty meadow. Near the edge of the field, Billy saw something shimmering in the moonlight that made him smile.

  H. G. Wells’s time machine.

  It looked like a steampunk sleigh made out of curved brass railings and burnished wood, with a leather bench seat in its center and a giant brass clock attached to its back. The ivory-handled “future” and “past” levers were mounted up front on a control drum, also made out of glittering brass and glimmering quartz.

  Suddenly, somewhere off in the distance, the Space Lizard hissed.

  “Oh, don’t be mad because she said your tongue is ugly,” Billy heard Pollyanna say. “Just be glad that you have such a marvelous flyswatter.”

  Now the Space Lizard screeched like a crazed dinosaur. Billy guessed he didn’t like playing Pollyanna’s glad game.

  “Man, the sound effects out here are awesome,” said Farkas.

  The three boys hurried across the clearing.

  “Dudes?” said Farkas. “What’s with the sled?”

  Billy thought fast. “I think it’s an arts and crafts project.”

  Pollyanna skipped into the meadow.

  Her plaid dress was covered with sticky burrs. Her straw hat was lopsided on top of her head. Her freckled cheeks were flushed, and the flowers in the dainty basket draped over her arm were scorched black.

  But she was still smiling.

  And Farkas was smiling, too. In fact, he was beaming.

  “Uh, h-h-hello,” he stammered. “Are you, um, a librarian?”

  “Oh, heavens no. Though I wish I were. Librarians are ever so kind. I wonder, young man, if I might prevail upon your kindness this evening?”

  “Please,” said Farkas, smoothing down his spiky hair. “Prevail away.”

  “Why, thank you. It seems I made a rather unfortunate enemy this evening after I gave his girlfriend a whole huckleberry pie.” She giggled. “One taste and the Gecko Girl flew straight home to share my pie with her mother. Anyway, this other reptile—”

  The insanely angry Space Lizard leapt out of the darkness.

  Farkas jumped between Pollyanna and the monster.

  “Gillfoyle?” he barked. “Type ‘P.B.C.’!”

  “What?”

  “P.B.C.! It’s a cheat code.”

  Billy opened the Notes app on his phone and tapped the letters. “P.B.C.!”

  The Space Lizard snarled and pulled back the lever on his ray gun. The barrel’s bubble bulges began throbbing with colored light.

  “Hurry!” shouted Farkas. “He’s charging his blaster. We only have like thirty seconds.”

  Billy was confused. “What does ‘P.B.C.’ mean?”

  The acid blaster was aimed at Farkas, who was shielding Pollyanna.

  “It’s short for ‘peanut butter crackers’!” Farkas shouted over his shoulder.

  “You fight this monster with snack food?” said Walter.

  “Yes, Waldo! The Space Lizard thinks they’re square orange eggs. He gobbles them down. The crackers are so dry they soak up his saliva. It’s like he has this huge acid-packed sponge in his mouth and then—BOOM!—he explodes.”

  Billy typed in the words, then read them out loud: “ ‘Peanut butter crackers’!”

  Nothing happened.

  The lizard’s warbling weapon was almost fully charged.

  Billy dropped to his knees, rummaged through his backpack, and found his emergency packs of “P.B.C.s.” As fast as he could, he started reading the ingredients printed on the back.

  “ ‘Enriched flour, riboflavin, folic acid, peanut butter, soybean oil with TBHQ for freshness—’ ”

  Eight floating orange cracker sandwiches the size of pizza boxes appeared in the air around the Space Lizard’s head. They rotated slowly and looked like hovering throw pillows from a couch—but with airholes instead of buttons.

  “Oh my,” said Pollyanna, stepping right up to the lizard. “I imagine you must be very glad to see all these square orange eggs.”

  “It’ssss a trick!”

  “A trick? Or is it a treat? It all depends on three little letters. Don’t you see? It’s ever so easy to turn a sad word into a glad one!”

  The Space Lizard’s eyes bulged out of the
ir sockets.

  “Orange eggsssssssss!”

  The maniac snagged an orange square out of the air and wolfed it down in three quick chomps.

  “Orange eggsssssssss!”

  He grabbed another.

  And another.

  As the monster munched, Billy heard the kind of gurgly sounds a straw makes when someone sucks up the bottom of a milk shake.

  “Close your eyes,” Farkas said to Pollyanna. “This Space Lizard is about to blow!”

  Down went peanut butter cracker number eight. The Space Lizard’s head inflated like a water balloon connected to a garden hose.

  “This next part is awesome,” said Farkas.

  “Goodness,” said Pollyanna. “What happens?”

  “His head, his whole body—everything goes KERPLOOEY! Duck!”

  Farkas yanked Pollyanna to the ground. Billy and Walter covered their heads.

  BA-BOOM!

  There was a humongous explosion.

  Slimy chunks of lizard gristle flew in all directions. So did soggy wads of orange gunk and gobs of regurgitated peanut butter. Pollyanna and Farkas, who were the closest to the blast, were both splattered with dribbling globules of goop.

  The Space Lizard had definitely been annihilated.

  “Well, I’m very glad he’s gone,” said Pollyanna, daintily wiping cheesy slime off her ruffled blouse. “Thank you for your kind assistance.” She popped up on her toes to kiss Farkas on the cheek.

  His face turned purple.

  “Um, uh,” he stammered. “Is there anything else I can do for you, Miss, uh—?”

  “Pollyanna.”

  “Yes,” said Billy. “There is.”

  With the Space Lizard gone, it was time for Billy to concentrate on the most important thing he needed to fix.

  He turned to Walter.

  “We need a spell to erase Farkas’s memory of what just happened.”

  “On it!”

  Walter pulled out his stack of Magical Battical cards.

  “Found a Memory Mop spell card,” Walter reported.

  “Good. Read it.”

  Walter started mumbling.

  Billy went over to Pollyanna and Farkas, who was glaring at him.

  “I wasn’t asking if you needed anything, Weedpole,” he said through teeth clenched in a smile. “I was asking her.”

  “Well,” said Billy, “I bet what Pollyanna really needs on a hot summer night like this is a big bowl of chocolate chip ice cream.”

  “Golly!” she gushed. “It’s not even Sunday and you have ice cream?”

  “Yeah,” said Farkas. “Back at my house. Want some?”

  “Why, of course I do. I don’t see how anybody can help wanting ice cream!”

  “Wait here,” said Farkas. “I’ll bring some back.”

  He ran across the field.

  A sparkling pinwheel of fireflies flew after him.

  “That’s my Memory Mop!” reported Walter.

  “Excellent,” said Billy. “Let’s follow Farkas down to the shore. Make sure the spell card works. Good night, Pollyanna!”

  He and Walter raced to the gate and down the trail and made it back to the shoreline just in time to hear Farkas say, “What the heck am I doing on this stupid island in the middle of the stupid night?”

  Then he fired up his Jet Ski and zoomed home across the lake.

  “Woo-hoo!” said Walter. “This thing is going to work.”

  “Yeah,” said Billy.

  “However, I do see one slight problem.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Farkas took his Jet Ski. How, exactly, are we getting home?”

  Billy grinned. “In the boat my parents are about to row over here. Come on. It’s time for the main event.”

  He led the way back to the clearing and H. G. Wells’s time machine.

  “I’ll put the blueberry pie on this shelf underneath the control dials.”

  “You hungry?” asked Walter.

  “No.”

  “We probably should’ve packed a snack. Something besides peanut butter crackers. I may never eat those again.”

  “Walter?”

  “Yeah?”

  “This pie is for my mom and dad. I’m sending them back fifteen years to when they first fell in love. If there’s any pie left when they come back from the past, I’m sure they’ll be happy to share it with us.”

  “I hope so. Hey, you know what?” Walter fumbled through his deck of cards. “We should have the Junior Wizard seek out a love potion—something to make certain your parents stay in love. Forever!”

  “Good idea,” said Billy.

  As if on command, the Junior Wizard appeared at the shadowy edge of the forest.

  “We need a love potion,” declared Walter in his best wizard voice. “Go forth and find it!”

  The Junior Wizard shot through the underbrush like a crazy comet.

  “It’ll probably take him out of the game for a little while,” said Walter. “Seeking usually does.”

  “Okay. You’re up next.”

  “What do I need to do?”

  “Call my dad. Tell him I fell off a cliff and sprained my ankle. You need my mom and dad to help you rescue me.”

  “Cool.”

  “One of our iPhones should go in the time machine.”

  “What for?”

  “We’ll set a ‘reminder’ alarm for half an hour from now. It’ll tell Mom and Dad it’s time to come back to the present.”

  “Here,” said Walter. “Use mine.”

  “Thanks.”

  Billy typed in the instructions: PUSH THE LEVER FORWARD. He set the alarm. Then he adjusted the dials on the time machine to display the current date and the same summer day fifteen years in the past.

  Billy tapped in his dad’s cell number and handed his iPhone to Walter.

  They both listened as the phone rang. And rang. And rang.

  “He’s not answering!”

  “Give him a minute,” Billy whispered. “He’s asleep.”

  After two more BRRRRs, Billy heard his father’s groggy voice. “Hello?”

  “Hi. Mr. Gillfoyle? This is Walter Andrews. I live in the cabin next to Mrs. Gillfoyle’s.”

  “Right. Billy’s new friend.”

  “Yes, sir. That’s why I’m calling!” Walter started sobbing. Billy was impressed. Walter was an excellent actor. “This is so horrible, sir. Horrible!”

  “What’s wrong?” Billy’s father sounded much more awake now.

  “Well, sir, Billy and I were hiking and Billy fell off the cliff!”

  “Oooh!” Billy moaned, cupping his hands around his mouth to make it sound like he was far away. “Owww!”

  “That’s him,” said Walter. “I think he sprained his ankle.”

  “Where are you, Walter?” Billy’s dad asked urgently.

  “On the island in the middle of the lake.”

  “Walter … will meet you … in the first meadow,” Billy called out in fake agony. “Just past … the gate!”

  “Tell Billy to hang on,” said his father. “I’m on my way.”

  “Bring … Mom!” hollered Billy, giving “Mom” a little echo effect.

  “He wants his mother, sir,” said Walter.

  “Of course. Tell him his mother and I are on our way.”

  “You did great!” Billy said to Walter.

  “Thanks. Now what?”

  “This is the hardest part of the whole thing. Somehow, we have to convince my mom and dad to climb into the time machine.”

  “So what are you going to say?”

  “I can’t say anything. I’m not even here. I fell off a cliff, remember?”

  “Oh. Right. So what am I going to say?”

  Billy stroked his chin and thought hard.

  “I don’t know. We need some kind of obedience potion or something.”

  Walter tore the rubber band off his stack of cards.

  “The Master Wizard can do it. She can do just about anything
!” Walter read from the card. “ ‘The Master Wizard is a master of all things magical.’ ”

  An elegant wizard dressed in a shimmering cape stepped into the clearing. Her hair was silver, like Fourth of July sparklers, her eyes emerald green.

  “Omigosh,” said Walter. “It’s her!”

  “What magic do you require?”

  “Can you cast a spell on my parents to make them do exactly what we tell them to do?” said Billy.

  “Your parents?”

  “Yeah. It’s really important.”

  “Tricky. Parents seldom listen to children.”

  “Just this once?” said Billy. “And only one command.” He held up his right hand. “I promise.”

  The Master Wizard looked deep into Billy’s eyes. “Very well. What magic do you require?”

  “Well, when my friend Walter tells my mom and dad to sit on that contraption and pull back on the lever, can you make sure they do it?”

  She bowed sharply. “Your wish is my command.”

  In a flash, the Master Wizard dissolved into a glittering fog and drifted over to the time machine, where she blended in with the moonlight glinting off the brass rails.

  “Okay,” said Billy, “the second Mom and Dad pull back on the lever, they should fly back into the past.”

  “Perfect,” said Walter. “And when they come back, the Junior Wizard will be here with his everlasting-love potion!”

  “Yup.”

  “Man, you have to work in a lot of details when you make up your own story, huh?”

  “Tell me about it.”

  In the distance, they heard someone approaching. Leaves and twigs crunched underfoot. Flashlight beams swung through the trees.

  “Walter?” shouted Billy’s dad.

  “Where are you?” cried Billy’s mom.

  “You’re on,” Billy said to Walter. He dashed off to hide behind the nearest tree.

  “This is all my fault,” Billy heard his father say.

  “I guess we both could’ve handled this thing a whole lot better,” said his mom.

  The two of them were following Walter across the open field toward the time machine.

  “Where is he?” asked Billy’s dad.

  Walter pointed toward the shadow of the mountain looming on the horizon.

  “Up there. And, uh, I think the fastest way for you guys to reach him would be to climb into that sled thing and pull down on that ivory-handled lever.”