Generations of Love

by Wendy Pulford

  ‘You are quite right to be concerned about the future together, and he is also. You need the time to talk, and I am sure this will be easier when you are in a less emotional atmosphere than at present.

  ‘I must say that I was amused to see you standing up for yourself, Catherine. Alex can be an intimidating male when he puts his mind to it. He mustn’t be allowed to have it all his own way. I might suggest that if you wished to use your feminine charms on him, he wouldn’t stand a chance!’

  Catherine broke away from Luigi then and stared at him.

  ‘I can’t imagine that for a moment!’

  ‘Oh, believe me, it is quite possible. You are inexperienced at the moment, but you could perhaps try your power in a small way now and again.’ His grin was impish and full of mischief. ‘Shall we go back now? Perhaps Mama has made some coffee. All that talking has made me thirsty.’

  Catherine put a hand on his arm. ‘Thank you for being so kind to me, Luigi. It’s so nice to have someone to talk to.’

  They walked back arm in arm to the lights of the house.

  In the gathering dusk, Catherine could see Alex still sitting on the patio. Luigi left her, saying he was going to find Mama, and Catherine hesitated at the foot of the steps. She needed to apologise, but didn’t quite know how to start. After all, was she the one at fault?

  Alex spoke first. ‘Do you feel better now? Come and sit down. Maria is making some coffee.’

  Catherine’s ears couldn’t detect anything untoward in the even tone of his voice. He sounded very calm and controlled. Perhaps he was angry and she would find out how much, later, when they were alone. She started to shake inside, but decided not to think about that. Was it possible she could try the idea Luigi had suggested? Did she dare?

  Before she could give herself any more time to think, she walked up the steps and, in a deliberate move, sat down on his lap. If he was surprised, he didn’t show it. He said nothing, and just looked at her. Catherine couldn’t discern any particular expression which would help her in any next move. His grey eyes were calm and steady. She laid her head on his shoulder, and after a moment placed her lips against his neck. He still didn’t move. She raised her head and looked at him. There was still no expression. She looked at his mouth. Could she…? Yes, she could, and she wanted to so much. She kissed him and his lips felt soft under hers, but there was nothing of the usual response. Almost desperate now, she broke the kiss and looked at him again.

  ‘You asked me not to touch you, remember?’ His voice was very soft, as if he didn’t want to speak.

  ‘I’m sorry. You know I didn’t mean it, Alex.’ She laid her head back on his shoulder.

  ‘Perhaps you need to prove that to me.’

  She sat up again and looked at him. There was still no visible expression, but he now appeared to be holding his breath. She looked again at his mouth, and then back to his eyes. Did she imagine that they seemed to have darkened? She bent her head to his again and touched his mouth with hers. She felt his arms come around her, but they were gentle. She moved her mouth against his and tried to convey to him all the love and pent-up emotion within her. There was still no response, and almost in frantic desperation she lost all control. She placed her hands in his hair to hold the dark head against hers and poured all her feelings through the touch of her lips.

  At last, his emotion broke through and it ran like a fever through her blood. His hands were in her hair, holding her own head still under the onslaught of his kiss. She felt on the point of fainting when he broke free, his eyes glittering in the dim light.

  ‘If we take this any further right now, we’re going to be in trouble.’ His voice sounded rough and unsteady. He picked her up in his arms and with great care placed her in the chair next to him, smoothing down her tangled hair.

  He looked deep into her eyes. ‘My little bird may just be learning to fly?’ The look on his face was one she had never seen before, full of pure joy. Then it changed to one of amusement. ‘Please be kind to me for the rest of the night, my love. I’m not sure my blood pressure can stand any more!’

  When Luigi and Maria came back with a steaming coffee pot the two were sitting side by side, not talking, just holding hands, but the look of love was clear on both their faces.

  CHAPTER 28

  The fine weather broke overnight and the wind and rain lashed against their bedroom window. It woke Alex and he decided to get up, and encouraged Catherine to do the same. The night before, Luigi had told him that he was going to accompany Maria to Mass that morning, no doubt with the idea of giving the two of them the possibility of a quiet moment together.

  The kitchen felt warm and cosy, despite the change in the weather. As they sat together at the big wooden table, Alex let Catherine finish her breakfast before he spoke.

  ‘Catherine, I want to apologise about last night. I never meant to upset you. I went a little mad with happiness, I think. I forgot that you take things to heart. My teasing was meant with love, my darling. I also made a mistake in speaking up for you. I wanted to save you the embarrassment of suggesting how we will live together as husband and wife when we haven’t discussed it ourselves. I know we must talk together about this. Most couples would have done so by now, but our situation has been rather different. I don’t want you to worry about it, though; let’s take it day by day.

  ‘Catherine, I know you’ll say that this doesn’t matter, but I would like to tell you a bit about my life so far. You were brave enough to tell me of your problems, and I’m glad you did. It’s helped me to try to understand you. Do you mind listening to me?’

  Catherine reached out and took his hand. ‘You’re right, Alex: I love you, no matter what you tell me, but if you feel you would like to talk, I’m quite happy to listen.’

  Alex looked away from her, out to the rain-soaked garden, and tried to gather his thoughts.

  ‘My grandfather came over from Europe before the Second World War, probably Holland, but I’m not sure. He must have sensed something bad was going to happen and wanted to get his family away.’ He reached for her hand and touched the rings. ‘Something like the Russian jeweller, perhaps.’ He released her and settled back in his chair.

  ‘I think the idea was to take his wife and son Michael to America, but the war started before he could achieve this. He was a doctor and took a job in the East End. He was working in an aid station during one of the night raids on the docks and was killed, along with many others, in a direct hit. My grandmother did all sorts of jobs to make ends meet and right from a young boy my father also ran errands, amongst other things, to pick up the odd pennies. Later, he drifted as far as a job was concerned, until my grandmother suggested he try for the police force. He was accepted and started well. He was commended for bravery on one occasion. It was a pretty rough time for the police just after the war, but he knew how to handle himself, as I found out later on!

  When he was nineteen he had become infatuated with a girl, and after she was found to be pregnant, he decided to marry her, against his mother’s wishes.’ He looked over at Catherine. ‘I learnt from Luigi that it was a disaster right from the start. It seems that once I was born, my mother never had much to do with me. She liked the good life and made sure she got it. My grandmother brought me up, but when she passed away in a flu epidemic, it left my father to take over. Maria used to look after me when he was on night duty and my mother was out.

  ‘When I was about five years old, my mother left for good, leaving behind a pile of debts. My father tried to pay them off but it was all too much for him. He started drinking and began to mix with the sort of people a police officer should not associate with. By then I was at school and had to put up with verbal abuse from my classmates, who knew him and what he had become. They used to call him things, like “Mick the Nick” and other less savoury names. I had a temper even then, so of course it used to lead to fights. My father had taug
ht me how to take care of myself and I made a bit of a name.

  ‘Other people heard about it too, and I began to be involved with the criminal elements at that time in the locality. Sometimes I even accompanied the so-called “heavy men”… and I saw things I should not have seen at that age.’

  He knew he had to make something clear. ‘I swear to you, Catherine, that I never laid a hand on anyone myself. My father was furious when he began to hear the rumours about me. I had more than one beating from him. One day I went home and found my bags packed, and he boarded me out with Luigi and Maria. He took me down to the nearest recruiting centre, and before I knew it I was signed up in the Army. He said he was going away for a while, and they would look after me.’

  Alex found he had to pause for a moment. It was difficult, recounting his past life. As much as possible he had tried to wipe it from his memory. After a moment or two he went on. ‘I have never seen or heard of him since. He just left me! Dumped me, without any explanation! I understood later from Luigi that he had resigned from the police force and emigrated to Canada. I couldn’t bring myself to try to make contact, I was too shocked and angry with him. Luigi told me that for a year or two they corresponded, but then he heard nothing further. I’ve just concentrated on trying to pick up my life, and over the years I’ve done that to the exclusion of everything else.’

  He stopped talking for a while, reassessing his emotions from the past. As the initial anger had begun to subside and he had started to make something of his life; if he ever allowed himself to think about the past, it was always tinged with a sense of loss. It was something he had never understood, and over time he’d taught himself not to dwell on it.

  He noticed that Catherine remained silent, waiting for him to continue.

  ‘The Army must have seen me as a right tearaway, at first. I was in trouble more often than not, but over time I began to see sense. It was easier, in more ways than one, to go along with the flow rather than fight against it all the time. I started to enjoy my time then. Being good at sport earned me privileges. My speciality was gymnastics and I had the chance to train with the Army team. I also went on all sorts of courses. I became good at field craft, in particular night exercises. I earned a commendation once from my Commanding Officer for helping to ensure my section took top honours in a multi-regiment exercise. I received promotion after that. When my initial service time was up, I was encouraged to stay in. They dangled eventual promotion to Sergeant in front of me. I did consider staying in as a PT instructor, but I wanted to try something new. I was still young and I didn’t want to be tied down. For some reason, I thought about joining the police. I’ve never looked back. I’ve worked hard for my success, though, studying and learning my job over the years. In return, it’s given me companionship, and a steady wage.’

  He turned to Catherine and smiled. ‘If you’re wondering where the Porsche came from, I got lucky with some money from a Stock Market tip-off. I saw the car, it was reduced as a repossession and also a non-fashionable colour, so I negotiated a deal. I was single, so the money didn’t seem to matter. I don’t know how much further I can go up the ladder with my job, but now things are different. I have a wife to consider.’

  He turned away from her again. ‘You come from a different world and it must be hard for you to appreciate the more sordid aspects of my life, both personal and professional. I don’t want you involved in the latter anyway. So… there it is. You know I’ve been a bad boy. I hope you can see that I’ve tried to redress the balance. To be quite honest, my love, I’m nervous as to what you might think of me.’

  After a moment, Catherine reached out and took his hand. ‘I think I love you more than ever, if that’s possible. Nothing you’ve said will change that. The future is what matters now – our future. Whatever you want to do, I want to be by your side. Alex, despite what you may think, I’m sure your father would be very proud of what you have achieved.’

  He looked down at her hand linked together with his, and brought it up to his lips.

  ‘Someone else said the same thing a little while ago,’ he murmured. ‘I’m not bothered. Anything I’ve done in the past has been for myself, but now there’s you.’

  Catherine took hold of both his hands and he noticed that her whole body was trembling. Alarmed, he was about to comment when she spoke in a tiny voice. ‘Alex, I want us to be a family.’ She hesitated. ‘More than anything, I would love us to have a child.’

  He drew in a sharp breath, shocked by her words, and was about to make an incredulous denial of the idea, but then he looked into her sweet face and saw the earnest pleading in her eyes.

  Before he could say a word, she went on, ‘I know what you’re thinking, Alex, but with everything you know about my life so far and after hearing about your experiences, somehow… oh, I can’t explain it, but I just know that it’s important, for us. Can we, please? It would make me so happy.’

  Alex found it difficult to speak, and when he did his voice sounded strained and hoarse, even to his own ears. ‘Would it make you that happy?’

  She nodded, hope in every beautiful inch of her face. He let out a sigh as if he’d been holding his breath. Remembering his earlier thoughts about a sense of loss, he now realised that the loss he had felt was a lack of real family. The whole idea was something to which he had just begun to give any serious thought – since he had met Catherine. With total certainty he knew that this was what he now hoped to regain, with this wonderful young woman sitting by his side.

  He smiled at her then, his eyes soft and warm. ‘Well, maybe it’s something we’ll have to think about. Perhaps you’d like to come and sit on my lap and try some more persuasion.’

  Catherine had just begun the task of achieving her aim when they both heard a car. They looked at each other for a moment in consternation, and then started to laugh.

  The laughter was heard by the couple entering the hallway, shaking off the rain from their clothes. They exchanged a surprised look and stood together, somehow reluctant to break in on the happy scene.

  Maria caught her husband’s arm. ‘Oh, Luigi, I never thought this would happen. Alex seems so happy, and she’s such a nice girl. She loves him, and I know she will be right for him. The beginning of a family; what he needs. We must help them all we can.’

  Luigi took his wife into his arms and held her. ‘If he’s as lucky as I’ve been, he will indeed be a fortunate man.’ His kiss was soft. ‘Let’s leave them alone for a moment or two longer, shall we? Come, my dear, we’ll get out of these wet clothes.’

  PART TWO

  CHAPTER 1

  Catherine looked around the lounge with pleasure. She had spent the day cleaning an already spotless flat, and it was now just as she wanted it: immaculate. The dining table was laid with precision, the meal was almost ready, and all she had to do was change. Tonight, Sarah and Jerry were to be guests at their first dinner party.

  Although she knew Alex was a little impatient at the impressive attention to detail she was giving to the event, he had said nothing to her, except to raise his eyebrows when, at one point, he had found her busy making a table arrangement.

  Over the weeks since their marriage, her thoughts had often returned to the things Alex had told her about his past life. She was certain that if Luigi and Maria had not given their support to him during those difficult times after his father had left, the outcome might have been very different.

  Now, having experienced the happiness he brought to her with his unfailing care and consideration, more than ever she knew that she wanted to provide a happy and secure home life for him, and tonight would be an example of that.

  To her surprise, Alex gave her complete control of the household and made sure she understood their financial situation. She decided to keep meticulous track of everything by noting down all their income and expenditure in an exercise book. Alex was amused by her diligence and, peering
over her shoulder one evening when she was making some notes, enquired whether she would allow him pocket money!

  She began to welcome all the laughter and teasing, content in the knowledge that it was the sweet expression of their ever deepening love for each other.

  Alex rang to say he had been detained, and as time went on, for one terrible moment she thought he might not even make it home at all. Dressed and ready for the evening, she was beside herself with frustration. He arrived with half an hour to spare before their guests were due. She could tell that he knew she was upset, and he allowed her a few minutes to vent her fury on him before taking her into his arms.

  ‘My sweet love, please calm down. The flat looks beautiful, the food smells wonderful, and you look ravishing. I did everything I could to get away on time. I know how much this evening means to you and I wouldn’t spoil it for the world. What I do want, though, is for us to enjoy the experience. Now, I’ve still plenty of time to have a shower and change, and I’ll even clean the bathroom!’

  True to his word, he was ready with three minutes to spare; or longer, as it turned out, with Sarah and Jerry arriving late because of traffic.

  After dinner, when they were settled with their coffee, Sarah looked over at Jerry. ‘Shall we tell them our news?’ She sounded excited.

  ‘By all means,’ Jerry grinned back at her.

  Catherine, sitting on the settee curled up against her husband, looked from one to another. ‘Come on, then, what news?’

  ‘I have a new job,’ Jerry announced. ‘I’m going to work at St Thomas’s as junior to a consultant in paediatrics. I was lucky, there were a lot of other applicants.’ His obvious pride at the achievement was mirrored in his wide grin. ‘I start in a couple of months.’

  Sarah then added, ‘I’m trying for a Sister’s job at the same hospital. It would be nice to work together again, if we could. We’ve also sorted out our wedding arrangements. We’re going to do what you did. It’s been an uphill struggle convincing Jerry’s parents, but they’ve now come round. We’re going to be married in September at the Chelsea Registry Office. My parents are going to make it home for a few days, and Jerry’s are coming down from Scotland. We’ve agreed that at Christmas we’ll go back to Scotland, and maybe have some sort of blessing in their local church.’